The L train got taken out of service at Bedford Ave. this morning around 9:30. That happened to be when I showed up to go to work and this was the first time I watched hundreds of people act like they had been abandoned in the South Bronx in the 80s. It is illogical to me that people who move to this city and either hold down jobs for which they are paid cash money or go to institutions of higher education don’t have the sense God gave a goose when it comes to riding the subway. But I am here to help.
1) KNOW MORE THAN ONE ROUTE. You can’t just know one way into Manhattan. You have to have several at your disposal that you have actually used and are comfortable with so that you don’t PANIC when the L train goes out. At Bedford you could have: taken the B62 south to the M train, taken the B62 north to the 7 train, walked to Lorimer (which is not far) and taken the G to downtown Brooklyn and transfer to the A/C/F, taken the G to LIC and the E or the 7… you get my point? I had any number of ways at my disposal. Instead, panicked people stood outside the subway entrance making phone calls about how they were stranded and didn’t know what to do and came to blows when the local car service pulled up. If you cannot right now tell me three ways to get to your job from your apartment, your job this weekend is to find them and ride them so you know the station and the route and feel comfortable with it.
2) CAR SERVICE: The only smart woman I saw said, “I’m going to Midtown, does anyone want to share this car with me?” and had three riders immediately. Everyone else just argued over every car that came. Why would you not share a cab in this situation? If you were smart you would have gotten out of the subway, announced your destination and did anyone want to share a cab, and then walked over to Northside on Bedford and waited for a car there (in these circumstances better to walk over to the dispatcher and wait for the car there than to call and say “I’m at Driggs & N7th” where there are now a hundred hipsters who can’t get to work and don’t give a fuck that you called this car.
3) GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY: I took the B62 down to the M, and when we got there, it took 6 times longer to unload the bus because some douchenozzle with light blue pants and drinking a latte wouldn’t step off the bus like a normal person and made everyone go around him. I finally yelled GET OUT OF THE WAY DUDE and only then did he seem to notice that the entire bus was trying to get off and he was BLOCKING THE DOOR.
3a) PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND PULL YOUR BAG IN FRONT OF YOU. I understand that everyone has to call their office and tell them they are going to be late and that requires a hand, but once you’ve done that, PUT THE PHONE AWAY and pull your bag in front of you so it stops hitting everyone around you. Seriously, people, you would have lasted 5 minutes in the 80s because your bag would have been slashed open while it was on your back, or you would have gotten the shit beaten out of you for hitting someone in the head.
4) LEARN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD: First were the hordes of people getting off at what used to be the B62 stop to go to Marcy, which was changed a couple of years ago. Then there was a line from the first subway entrance at Marcy & Bway all the way down the stairs and down Broadway TO THE FUCKING CORNER, because the idiots who rode the bus didn’t know that there were TWO OTHER ENTRANCES as well as an elevator. The other three access points were completely clear, had no line, so even if you are one of those people who HAS to be in the first car of the train, you could have walked another half a block, gone up the stairs, and been at the front of the platform before the stupid line got there.
