100% Good.

Snape Snape Snape An Angel A God Amongst Men A Hero #prosnape #produmbledore #promarauders We’re just having fun here.

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(First class after a Death Eater meeting)

Snape (exhausted): Kids, some advice, don’t join a cult.

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(Storming into the staff room)

Snape: I'm pissed!

McGonagall: Again or still?

Snape: *sighs*... I don't even know anymore

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Snape: You ever just get a sharp stabbing pain in one of your organs and think ah fuck its finally happening

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Kidnappers: We have your nephew.

Snape: You have Draco?

Kidnappers: Yes.

Snape: His father will be hearing about this.

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Snape: I have issues.

Lupin: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept-

Snape: With you.

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Snape: Are you a newspaper?

Harry: No, why?

Snape: Because it's a new issue with you every fucking day.

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Snape: You know when you tap a YouTube video to find out how long you've got left of it?

Snape: I wish I could do that when talking to people

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Hermione: I don't think Snape is pleased with you.

Harry: Why do you say that?

Hermione, *reading aloud*: "Dear Potter, I hope this message finds you before I do."

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McGonagall: Why are you on the floor crying?

Dumbledore: This book is so fucking SAD

Snape: That's my diary...

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Dumbledore: Y'know, Harry, sometimes you really remind me of Severus.

Harry:

Snape: *stunned silence*

Snape: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

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Sirius: Hello, Snape. Surprised to see me?

Snape: I didn't say Bloody Mary three times, so yes

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Dumbledore: You need to react when people cry.

Snape: I did. I rolled my eyes.

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Harry (to Voldemort): So you want to be a God huh?

Harry (cracking his knuckles): I can at least arrange for you to meet him

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Voldemort (to his Death Eaters): If I die my funeral will be the party of the century and you're all invited

Lucius: ... If?

Snape: Great, the first party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die

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(Project: He Who Will be Maimed - Secret Taskforce Meeting - Dumbledore's Office)

Dumbledore: Time for plan G

McGonagall: Don't you mean plan B?

Dumbledore: Nope, we tried plan B a long time ago. Didn't work.

McGonagall: C?

Dumbledore: I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties with Hufflepuffs having "moral codes"

Sprout: What about plan D?

Flitwick: Plan D was a desperate seduce and destroy attempt about half an hour ago

Lupin: And plan E?

Dumbledore: I'm hoping not to use plan E. Snape dies in plan E

Snape: I like plan E.

Snape: ... All those in favour raise your hand

....

Snape: ✋

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Lupin: Will you go out with me?

Snape: Nah.

Lupin: I have a good heart.

Snape: I don’t need a transplant.