☽

`✈; even at the same place we live in different times. at the moment between those smiles, where are you? we lean on each other so easily and say so much to forget the hurt and exhaustion, but it's not that easy. ( selective nsfw multi-au multimuse )

[pularuk]

i'm not sure if tumblr made me mass unfollow a lot of people or if i just like gained followers in my absence but uhh... let's see what we got.

[pularuk]

whoops

[minjoun]

just let me love you trans cr.

[dreamyoongi]

[musingmemes]

send me a ♬ and a number between 1-10 and i’ll put my itunes on shuffle and skip to that number and write a starter with my favorite lyric from that song.

example: if you send me ♬ 7, i’ll put my itunes on shuffle, skip forward seven songs and use my favorite lyric from that song.

[xu4nyi]

[pularuk]

scxpegoxt:

Hakyeon was going to throw up. Jimin’s words were so nice. He wanted to believe it them but he didn’t want to believe in them and the contradictory feelings that met in the pit of his stomach filled him to the brim and wanted an escape. The emotional stress burned. His mouth watered. His eyes watered.

You were always wanted.

There were two times in Hakyeon’s life where he was told he was wanted. The second time was when they first started to live with their Grandmother. Seokjin and himself had wander the city streets by themselves for weeks. They were dirty, hungry, tired-but they were free. When she had first approached them they were scared. Adults couldn’t be trusted even if they looked harmless. Somehow they always crossed paths but the answer was always the same. It took Seokjin falling ill and Hakyeon having no idea how to help him to get them to finally agree. Only until Jinnie got better. At the end of the week when Seokjin could eat without throwing up their Grandmother looked Hakyeon in the eyes with a gentle smile.

I want you boys to be healthy and loved.

The first time he was told he was wanted was in a basement full of large hands.

He cracked. The first tear rolled down his cheek-then the second, third, forth, tenth-it only took a moment to soak his skin. “Jimin-” he hated how his voice broke, “You don’t understand. I have to think about everything I do, everything I say, anyone I talk to, get close to, get attached to!” He hated how he got louder and louder as he rambled on. He hunched in on himself with the palms of his hands pressed hard against his eyes. Stop, stop, stop, please. “There is so much I need to hide to keep us safe. I can’t want because if I want anything, anyone-there are no moves for me to make because they can’t know about us. About our past, about who we are now. There is so much I have to think about. So much I have to keep secret,” he sobbed. His chest, his throat, his eyes were on fire. It hurt to talk but he couldn’t stop. “It’s not fair,” he said quietly, “I want to stop thinking. I want to turn it all off and shut down or just be normal.” His legs shook so he slid down to the floor to fold in on himself.

“I want so much, Jimin.”

it’s as though he’s swallowed lead, and it’s sinking to the pit of his stomach while he waits for the other to respond. fear; jimin has only felt it once before, when he was so sure that jungkook had died because of him, and now it comes in the form of hakyeon’s silence. he hadn’t noticed the tears until hakyeon’s voice broke, and suddenly he regrets not reaching out. if only opening his eyes woke him from this dream, taking them back to that summer where they were almost happy. almost...

jimin bites at his lip, his hands curled into fists at his sides. he wants to hold hakyeon, terribly so. but can he? will he be pushed away, or do the pushing? it’s a damn mess in his head and he just wants to be honest for once.

the words echo within him, and it’s ironic how opposite they are -- that jimin never intended to care, but did. that hakyeon always wanted to care, but couldn’t. he watches hakyeon slump to the floor, his eyes burning. it’s not fair. “you’ve made it this far, hakyeon hyung. you have to keep going,” the fallen whispers, lowering himself to wrap the oldest in a hug. the first time he’s touched hakyeon in so long... forget holding back, even if it’s just for this moment, jimin will do whatever it takes to make it last, just a little bit longer. “you're lying to yourself, and you know it. you’re gonna want no matter what, but you’re not alone, no matter what you think. keep your secrets, whatever, but that doesn’t mean that people won’t accept you. i had to learn that, the hard way.”

jimin isn’t the best person to talk about this; he’d started from nothing, he wasn’t even supposed to fall in love at all and yet here he stands. if only hakyeon understood him. “i want you to stay. please.”

[pularuk]

ofsigma:

     Hunting is never a pleasure –––– It’s merely a  NECESSITY  . Although four years have passed since the first time she purposely tainted the porcelain of her flesh with the warm ichor belonging to someone else, SIGMA has never truly grown accustomed to the very act of killing someone in pursuance of filling her empty stomach ; whenever she’s on the verge of stealing yet another life, she sees the face of her father on the day he died  &  it’s useless to say that her appetite is promptly overtaken by excruciating pain. In spite of this, she has a role to fulfill as the  HUNTRESS  of the community: this is the least she can do towards those people who have accepted her, offering open arms  &  protection from a world that no longer belonged to her. 

     Heavy droplets of rain cascade against the plastic fabric of her umbrella whilst she wanders around without a designated destination — She needs to find some  FOOD  , but her mind seems to be lost elsewhere, far away from her duties. All of sudden, the noise of approaching footsteps brings her back to reality  &  with an abrupt movement, Ayame turns to the side only to settle her attention upon a… Young man ? The aforementioned umbrella is childishly wiggled in his direction before she speaks. ❛ Want to share an umbrella ? ❜

@pularuk (COYOONGI) ❤

with his hood pulled over his head, the coyote retraces his steps back home after a trip to the store. he’s more than accustomed to the path, often letting his mind travel elsewhere while his body moves on its own, and the all too familiar scents accompany him alongside with the rain.

but it is perhaps because of the incessant rainfall that he failed to notice someone on his path, and even more curiously is how lost in her own thoughts she seemed to be, just like he had been until he saw her. yoongi’s steps slow until she’s only an arm’s reach away, his head tilted while a question danced on his tongue. something within him was on alert, but he can’t quite pinpoint what it is that makes him feel so on edge. her scent is almost dizzying, confusing him -- it’s human, but not. he looks to her umbrella and shrugs, biting back the urge to tell her no. 

survival instincts tells yoongi he needs to leave, but she’s so unfamiliar in every way that he decides maybe, he’s just groggy and crazy. “i appreciate the offer, miss, but are you sure you should be sharing an umbrella with a guy you don’t even know? especially so late at night. ... do you need help getting home or something?” it makes him feel better to offer this much, as who knows just where the poor girl is trying to go on her own.

[pularuk]

scxpegoxt:

“I am loud but my voice is so soothing,” Taehyung tried to smooth his voice out but only made it deeper. He laughed at himself but was cut off when the ghost let out a cry. He jumped and turned around. “Wait your turn,” he scolded. When the ghost went quiet he flashed it a smile before turning back to the tome that sat on his lap. The ghost glanced at Yoongi and went quiet. “Have you tried using magic to help?” Taehyung flipped to the next page and skimmed it with furrowed brows. “I know a few potions that could work…and I have most of the ingredients…but would it react well to a shifter?” his voice trailed off into a mumble as he quickly flipped through the tome. 

the witch’s joke brought a smile to the coyote’s face, putting him at ease now that he did in fact know of his unwelcome guest. at least yoongi wasn’t alone in suffering at their presence. “most magic doesn’t work on me. at least, i know fae magic doesn’t. i haven’t tried potions or anything, though, since back in the us witches usually just... ‘cleaned up’, or erased humans’ memories. although i guess i could try that zquil stuff...” he leaned back into his chair, watching the pair look over the book. he wondered if, briefly, any of his half-siblings had been affected by witches or warlocks. yoongi hadn’t even been in much contact with either of them before taehyung, but the promise of sleep made him a willing accomplice. “worst case scenario, it makes me sick. best case scenario, it works too well and knocks me out for a week. i’ll take my chances.”

[pularuk]

scxpegoxt:

All words unspoken began to pile up along the kitchen tiles. He could see them hide underneath the counters. Hakyeon’s, Jimin’s, and he could practically hear them. Their thoughts seemingly loud enough on their faces to echo along the edges. He wished he couldn’t. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if there was anything anyone could have done,” his words come out in a whisper. His eyes heavy on the ground as his mind played with fantasies that he long since repressed. So many things could have gone different-he often lamented the lost chances that lead him to this point. “It was all my faults, no one is to blame but me.” His fault, his fault, his, everything and he couldn’t even redeem himself. There was a beat of silence as Hakyeon pulled himself out of his own head. Jimin wanted answers. 

“My life…I never let it be mine,” he replied as matter-of-factly, “I always wanted to live for myself but really I’m living for other people. For so long I was only alive for Seokjin. I took care of myself because I had to take care of him. We had our mission but…without him, I probably wouldn’t have lived for this long.” Hakyeon’s eyes drifted up to stare as the blank, blue space on the wallpaper. The night lights framed the window and Hakyeon’s hands itched. Another fault, and he opened his mouth to admit more. “Then I started to live for you too. I didn’t want to leave you alone. It made me think about what I would have been like without Jin and…” he trailed off and looked Jimin in the eye, “I wanted you both to be happy. Then you both found that happiness in each other and-” Hakyeon felt his throat close in with suddenly emotion. He hadn’t realized his eyes became glassy and he hated himself for it. “I wasn’t needed anymore.” There was more. There was so much more but his throat burned and his eyes hurt and regret filled his stomach.

Hakyeon inhaled deeply. Control, control, he needed to control himself. He fidgeted and turned away from Jimin. One hand drummed fingers along the counter while the other ran through his hair. It was still there in his nails. His stomach churned violently. His fingers moved quicker. “I don’t know,” Hakyeon’s voice edged pleading, but pleading for what? He doesn’t want to know. “What I want to do and what I should do. What I want doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have come back.”

fault. 

hakyeon throws that word around like the more he says it the more he might make jimin believe it ( or maybe it’s for himself ), but all it ends up doing is making his heavy heart sink further. “that’s a lie,” he murmurs quietly without meaning to, the words escaping him before he can capture them and tie them up. it was all of their faults, though. if jimin hadn’t been so caught up in himself, or what the others were doing, he could have gone to hakyeon sooner, he could have known --

he closes his eyes as the oldest continues talking, his tongue caught between his teeth. he remembers the first time they really saw each other, when jimin had his hands wrapped around hakyeon’s neck, or the time they had just relaxed in one another’s presence in the summer heat when there was no harm to be done, when he would wait for jin in the flower shop by talking to hakyeon in his quiet voice. that was all it took for him to stay, back then? yet so much has changed, for the both of them. “being needed, and being wanted, those are two different things, hyung. sometimes it’s better being wanted, than needed. you were always...” he’s afraid to speak. he’s afraid of driving hakyeon further away, but -- with a sigh, he finishes, “you were always wanted.”

speaking to the oldest’s back is easier, jimin finds. he kicks his feet for a bit as he mulls over what he’s heard before he sighs, pushing himself off the counter. “hakyeon hyung, i don’t know what it is you’re tormenting yourself over, here, because you did come back. you wanted to, didn’t you?” his back seems so close, just within reach, but hakyeon is so far away it’s as though he’s only talking to a memory. maybe that’s all it is. “don’t think so damn hard about it. isn’t it easier to just do something? even if it’s as small as just coming back, as saying something you’ve been -- you’ve been holding out on. because...” his hand raises, and he is so close to grabbing hold of the back of hakyeon’s jacket, but then -- he drops it with a defeated sigh. he is a damn contradiction, not even practicing what he’s saying. 

because with hakyeon, there’s always that feeling of should, he should reach out, he needs to tell him, but it’s too late. “you never know. someone could have been waiting for the next move.”

[pularuk]

( what is your anger type? )

numbed through pain

you seem to shut down in situations that would arouse anger. it seems you go into a state of minor shock and your mind struggles to deal with the current situation. you are the kind of person bullies would get bored of. you're like a concrete stone on the outside, but on the inside... you are hurting more than they think.

[pularuk]

( work and a cold got in the way for a minute -- but i’m here!! 

ask games are welcome, or if u want just like this for a starter!!

[inwolvesteeth]

                  he told me once –

            LIVE. LIVE. LIVE. until your breath runs out.

follow / reblog / 18+ content / written by kat.

[pularuk]

( `pit a pat )

@scxpegoxt

it has gotten easier to slip between realities. after three years of jumping, she had gotten the hang of it, for the most part, although as young as she was, she still made mistakes. going too far in the same timeline. jumping to realities where things are too different, or continents that don’t speak korean.

( those were the hardest. being a foreigner in a country and reality where she was not meant to exist meant she had nowhere to hide. she was always so afraid, there. )

her heart still raced as she drew a door in the air with her forefinger, the allotted time she was allowed to stay nearing it’s end. she envisioned a seoul that’s four years into the future. it was summer. hongdae. that was where twenty-somethings gather, and she knew she’d find someone with a warm heart, there.

another friendship she would forge, another friendship she would leave behind for who knew how long, but it was better to go through heartache over and over again than to truly be alone.

jinsoul slipped through the doorway, and straight into a firm body -- a young man, at that. the force of their collision sent the blonde toppling over with an undignified yelp into the forest floor. once again, the cursed girl landed somewhere she hadn’t meant to be in, a show of how little she really had control over. but her priority right then was a young man she’d taken down. “i am so sorry! oh my god, are you okay? i am so sorry --” she blurted out, looking at him with worry and concern. that was the first time she’d ever landed on top of someone, and embarrassment colored her cheeks brightly. “i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

[pularuk]

the dark circles under yoongi's eyes were loud. taehyung wanted to reach out and see if the colors would smear if he ran his thumb across yoongi's skin. instead, he stared at yoongi with a grin as he spoke,❛ in some other universe you’re asleep. ❜ which was true-other universe yoongi probably practiced sleeping.

( poetic sentence starters ) accepting!@scxpegoxt

he breathed deeply, the scent of magic wafting reminding him of an incense his mother used to burn, like spiced sandalwood. “i would like to be asleep in this universe, honestly,” he murmured, looking to the young witch before him. a ghost stood behind the boy, his eyes hollow and sad while he bemoaned his lost life. yoongi wondered if he brought him with him on purpose, but then figured he probably didn’t even know. witches always had ghosts attached to them. it was a byproduct of their magic. “but i have too much on my mind. and you are too loud, if i’m to be perfectly frank.” yoongi spoke with a faint smile, though -- there was something kind about the boy, even with the terribly sad ghost behind him.

[pularuk]

gumihc:

ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀɴᴇss. In spite of the rough exterior that he was always eager to display, there was warm tenderness in the gestures he performed, in the words he pronounced whenever he realized that she wasn’t there to play cat & mouse — Whenever he realized that she was there to hide in the warm comfort that only her  HOME  could offer her. Now comfortably curled beside him, the Gumiho had wasted almost no time before wrapping her arms around her own knees, mostly in pursuance of hindering herself from reaching out for him ; although he had not hesitated to bring her here, she knew that he wasn’t too fond of physical contact  &  at least for now, she was willing to tame her touchy touchy disposition for the sake of a tranquil evening. 

His response was carefully listened to. The ghost of a smile pulled at the corners of the woman’s roseate tiers upon realizing that their vision of the stars wasn’t that different, after all ; ever since she could recall with her now ancient mind, she had always thought that they were lonely, too. In spite of her now burning desire to continue this conversation, mostly in order to further pry into what he felt  &  what he thought, Ahreum was well aware that touching certain matters would have done nothing but stiffen the already gloomy atmosphere that she had previously created with her sour mood –––– Perhaps, for once, instead of allowing her curiosity to take over, she should have just enjoyed his company, right ?  ❛ They do look lonely… You know, all of sudden I’m really happy of being a fox ! I mean, if I were a star, I wouldn’t be able to do this–––– ❜ An explanation for her vague statement was not given, for she was already outstretching her hand towards the Coyote with the sole purpose of gently touching the side of his visage, the soft flesh of his sharply shaped cheek.

@pularuk , ❤ .

when her voice returned sounding almost chipper, yoongi looked to her with something between amusement and confusion, only to have her hand so gently caressing his cheek. his gaze softened considerably, his head canted as thoughts almost ceased in their rushing about. it was just about yoongi and ahreum beneath the sky. “i’d rather you were a fox, too.” his voice was quiet, a sudden confession that he hadn’t meant to say out loud. to recover, yoongi cleared his throat and took her hand from his cheek, holding it just enough that if she wanted to pull away, she could.

but this was him initiating, maybe an apology of some sort, because for all the times he’d pulled away, growled and hid from her, there was no other way to describe her than trusted friend, unspoken as it was. did yoongi harbor anything greater than that? even if he did, it wasn’t as though he could say it, even to himself. it was easier to think nothing of it. that moments like this were just between their endless game of cat and mouse, a quiet reprieve.

“at least here, you’ve got plenty of people to bug. never a dull moment with you around, is there?” it was though a spell had broken, finally, yoongi was awake. on earth. “you’re never too far away. so, yes. being here is better than being a star. because, i can also do this.” his hand dipped low, tickling at her side to in an effort to elicit laughter. 

( the human connection, he almost said, but remembered neither of them are quite human, properly, no matter what face they wore. but maybe it was that likeness that made them want it so.

she would have hated to hear that. he kept it to himself. )

[taesyeon]

singing in the rain