english is not my first language !! please take this into consideration, i'm always open to feedbacks so if iβm mistaken in something pls lmk. <3 π ΰ¨ Λ Ω . !! !
just saw 4x times enhypen this weekβ¦. I miss them so bad like when I saw moonstruck live I literally remembered kinich cuz when I was obsessed with kinich I was also obsessed with moonstruckβ¦ what if
β 10.5 paper feelings / warnings: special chapter β πΉ
masterlist / prev / next
NOTE: i love this trend so much, ik i could've done better but im running low in sleep and had a rough day, oh grey haired maniac haunt me on my dreams ALSOO this is lowk an special thing cuz I reached 500 followers WHAAAT I love yall truly, hopefully next week i'll do something better for yall <333
β 10.5 paper feelings / warnings: special chapter β πΉ
masterlist / prev / next
NOTE: i love this trend so much, ik i could've done better but im running low in sleep and had a rough day, oh grey haired maniac haunt me on my dreams ALSOO this is lowk an special thing cuz I reached 500 followers WHAAAT I love yall truly, hopefully next week i'll do something better for yall <333
in which, after years of inhabiting lohen's lonely dreams, you finally return to mondstadt. he finds himself overflowing with joy and reliefβuntil he realises you brought a friend, one you were very close with; one he now deemed his greatest rival.
part two to paper dandelion! but this works as standalone too (i think?)
contents. lohen x gn!reader, childhood friends + reunion, happy ending, fluff, crack (kinda), angst, 12k words, lohen story quest spoilers, (possibly) suggestive, thoma's your close friend, lots and lotssss of jealousy and he's kinda pathetic but it's ok, jokes about killing people/kys, mentions of gore (? offering seppuku as an apology but not actually doing it), swearing, alcohol and getting drunk, mentions of poisoning, lohen jumping to conclusions, doesn't follow genshin timeline/events, no beta we die like adorno
thank you for everyone's patience! much love to you all :)
tags: @swivi, @pjselee, @danielapuppy41, @sksjdkksjsjsh
Despite a considerable amount of time passing since the treacherous Nod Krai expedition, Lohen found himself unable to adapt to the amiable streets of Mondstadt again.
Mondstadt City was dreadfully uncomfortable. It lacked the Favonius Keep's prerequisite of strength and constant vigilance, and the thrill which accompanied. Mondstadt was pathetic in comparison to the perils of the Nod Krai and its beasts. The expectation to be alert was no longer, now earning Lohen absentminded comments to 'relax' and resurfacing rumours of his insanity.
His colleagues earnt shrivelled up expressions of disgust, a violent shudder would pounce on his spine whenever he saw how relaxed they were, drinking their hearts out 'til midnight and puking out on the streets.
(If getting wasted was so necessary, at least remain somewhat competentβLohen counted twelve opportunities for Gunther to get killed as he stumbled away from the Angel's Share the other night; he should've been grateful it was Lohen judging him, and not a member of the Fatui.)
Human life was fragile, it expired early and death pounced on the nearest person without mercy, and never took breaks, thus, neither should humans.Β
Today, was no exception to Lohen's discomfort.
He arrived to work lateβas always, greeting Mika on his way to the Grandmaster's Office with a lazy wave before slouching into his seat, where an obscene stack of paperwork awaited him. The quill between his fingers was abnormally heavy, and Varka's gaze wouldn't leave him.
"Y'know. You don't have to stare me down that hard."
He scoffed, crossing his arms. "Brat. Who's the one who shortened your confinement?"
For once, Lohen kept his mouth shut, deciding the Grandmaster deserved his best behaviour. It was the least he could do
Solitary confinement, you managed to make tolerable. He wrote of everything to you, from details of his Nod Krai expedition to Adorno's passing and his punishment, scrawling away to process what happened, and to pass the time. Though his solitude remained true, writing to you was essentially the same as company. Day melted into night when he thought of you. He had to regularly call for more paper, only when his words to you reached a length rivaling the novellas of the Favonius Library, Varka convinced Jean to mitigate his punishment. On the basis of his good behaviour, he argued that he deserved the privacy to mourn Adorno, and mail his letter to you. Lohen was free to return home and live normally, at the expense of strict supervision and paperwork during his hours.
(You remained to be a blessing. First, giving Lohen the best childhood and teenage years, and now you were bailing him out of punishment, without even being in the nation.)
Lohen missed you, a lot. Absurdly so. Mountains and oceans apart, you were in Inazuma, where he hoped you felt the same.
Six years was too long. In the first year, he went strong, told himself that you'd be back in no time and that letters were sufficient. By the second, he was going even more insane than he already was, actively searching out ruin guards to bully at Stormbearer Mountains in the dead of night as stress relief.
He wanted to touch you, feel your skin against his and to listen to you rant and laughβa melody that no choir could ever recreate. He wanted to pinch your cheeks again and watch them redden. He missed how you'd cling onto him whenever you got scared, and he wished he was there for every adversity you were facing over there. He wished he could watch how much happier you were becoming with his open two eyes, instead of reading it with months delayed.
Lohen wanted you. Not your letters. Those wouldn't come sleep over when the nightmares became too much, nor bandage his injuries when they were placed so awkwardly. They capture only your handwriting and nothing else. He wouldβve forgotten your voice long ago, had he not thought about you constantly, reciting memories like prayer.
Confinement to letters wouldn't be so bad if he didn't have to wait months for mail to arrive. Letters only satiated so much. And they were volatileβwho knows if the mailman would drop either one of your letters, or if storm strikes down the ship it sails on. Only Barbatos himself would know of what happens to them.
(With every victory, you came to mind first. Varka and Jean read of it first through paperwork, then word of mouth would inform the rest of the knights. Sometimes it reached the citizens of Mondstadt.
The best Lohen could do was write it for you first, and pretend it was the same as finding you in your favourite spot at the library, or knocking on your window to demand your attention. In his head, you were the first to know because he wanted you to be. It was far better than agreeing with reality.)
After hearing of his complaints, you opted to mailing him a diary, a collection of thoughts and stories you wanted to share with him, organised by date. Inside, you sandwiched a response to the letter he'd send, alongside folded papercraft (known as 'origami', you said). Lohen built a small bookshelf for these, adorning his empty bedroom with your days.
His gaze wandered to the window, surely he could keep his mind preoccupied. There should've been something remotely interesting to watchβthe statue of Barbatos stood proud, as always, welcoming all to the open arms of Mondstadt. Towards the bottom was Barbara, serenading a group of people. That stupid, green bard was nearby, and Lohen rolled his eyes and decided it was time to stop looking outside.
His quill hauled itself across the page, leaving the mere date in its trail.
You can do it, I'll wait for you!
Lohen sculpted every drifting thought into an illusion of you, imagining you were there with him, seated on the couch across the room, waiting for him to finish so the two of you could go skip rocks at Cider Lake.
(Back in the day, Adorno would give you guys 'homework', insisting that puzzles were good for your brain. Your logic flowed as seamlessly as your hands, finishing his tasks with ease; Lohen couldn't say the same for himself. Adorno had to give you guys separate worksheets, since you'd simply give the answers to Lohen.)
The room was drained of its sunlight, fading into a soft pink. Every scratch of his quill against the parchment whittled time away. Varka didn't need to snap at him, and
He finds himself connecting his letters. You wrote in cursive ever since you were little, and still didβ
Fuck, his concentration was breaking. What he haphazardly glued together were falling apart, shattering into even smaller bits and pieces.
He tried to fall back on his initial tactic, but all he could think of was how different you must've looked by now. You mentioned getting much more exercise. Did you bulk up, or were you the kind to slim down? Maybe you managed to grow a few centimetres, or perhaps you had a tan now? He had no idea what the weather was like over there.
He was unable to conjure an image of you, only wonder and curiosity, and a desperation to see you once more. Questions blurred his vision and hypotheticals presented possibilities without rest. His energy and attention slipped away, leaving him to soak in his pathetic longing.
"Fuuuuuck offff." Lohen slouched onto the table, cheek resting against the cold, polished wood. He entertained the thought of smashing his head into the table until he was out cold, that way, he wouldn't have to do paperwork, nor be forced to cope with the fact that he couldn't see you.
The stupid pile of paperwork was just as prominent, and infuriating, as his inability to focus. Why couldn't you leave him alone?
(Stupid fucking Barbatos. If the god of freedom out of all beings out there couldn't bring you back, he could've at least freed him of this constant craving of you. This was exactly why Lohen hated gods and refused to partake in anything religious)
Then there was the Sakoku Decree too. You insisted the Vision Hunt Decree only targeted Vision wielders, that you were safe and he had nothing to worry about, but Lohen did the exact opposite. A dictator was never honest, a leader that would approve of such policy would not be one fit to protect its people. Those stuck in Inazuma, including you, requested the help of the Knights to return home, though they were fruitless.
Any resemblance of concentration was long gone. It abandoned him the moment he thought of you again, leaving him to spiral.
Varka's heavy footsteps approached him, his large hands sifting through the paperwork Lohen had (somehow) managed to complete successfully. "...not bad. I've never seen you do so much. And your handwriting's neat." Lohen peeled himself off the desk with disheveled hair, and hollow eyes begging Varka for freedom. "You've done enough, I don't like paperwork too. Good improvement."
For a brute that drank like a fish, he was surprisingly thoughtful.
"I'm gonna kill myself."
The Grandmaster chuckled, ruffling the Vice Captain's hair and patting him on the shoulder. "Paperwork does that, kid."
Dusk stained Mondstadt pink. Remains of day bled everywhere, as Lohen walked across stone pavement alongside Varka, watching over children that chased each other by the fountain. The Good Hunter kept many company, its patrons howling with laughter and cheersing obscenely large tankards. His fingers twitched at his sides, missing their skinship with his dagger and lance, while the wind caressed his face.
Doing paperwork was so awful, that Lohen considered getting drunk, calculating whether the vulnerability would be worth the mindless bliss of being wastedβthere had to be a reason why everyone in Mondstadt loved beer, and why even the Grandmaster himself had no problem with drinking to his very limits.
"So." He drawled, itching to leave the city and head to Wolvendom to fight something. "Why am I here again?"
"Because you're under supervision. And I need a beer." The man groaned, stretching an arm and scratching his back. "You look like you need a drink."
"A fight, you mean."
Varka slapped him on the back, enough force to almost make him fall over. "Be grateful I didn't make you do my paperwork too, hm? Maybe it's a good thing you didn't become captain. You wouldn't last a day." Before Lohen could retort, something else grabbed Varka's attention. "Be right backβsomeone looks lost." A finger pointed forwards, Lohen's halflidded eyes didn't bother tracking them as he let out a wordless grunt.
Maybe now was a good chance to run off. And if Varka tried to get him into trouble again, he'd snitch on Varka to Jean for drinking.
He took an analytical glance at Varka, only for his heart to freeze on the spot.
The sun had already set, yet you managed to glow in its absence.
Lohen's feet didn't move, they couldn'tβall that went through his head was relief, leaving him in a stupor.
The world went silent, all that was nonessential melted into nothingness. What remained was you, with wide eyes marveled by your home city again.
You. Here. In Mondstadt. Where Lohen was.
You didn't look so different, contrary to all the different theories he had conjured in his curious boredom. You must've lost a bit of weight from travelling so much, but you looked stronger overall. Your smile was bright, as always, only this time it made Lohen choke on his own spit, and question if he had really lost it.
The Vice Captain of the Fifth Company does not cry. However, he'd make an exception for you.
His body finally awoke, and he took a step towards you. And another. Until he could hear you.
You were looking up at Varka, a bit unsettled by the height difference, but friendly nonetheless. "OhβI'm from here, it's just been a long time. I haven't spoken the language in a while too. I might be lost..."
Lohen didn't even get to say hi, before you pounced on him.
"Oh my godβ" Your voice hitched, on the brink of crumbling into tears. "I missed you so much."
Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist and he squirmedβthe closest to hugging he ever did was wrestling new recruits, who could never lay a hand on him.
(But his arms reciprocated, carefully feeling your back as he held onto you. It felt harder than before, your working out must've paid off. The muscle was warm, even through your clothes and his gloves.)
He still couldn't speak. No words would come out, immobilised by his shock. All he did was nuzzle his chin into your shoulder and rediscover your warmth.
"Ahem." Varka cleared his throat, immediately pulling you out of your hug. You scrambled to stand straight, glowing a furious red while muttering out apologies. Varka mirrored your words, saying that he hates to ruin your moment.
(Stupid old man. Lohen wasn't nearly as big as enough to throw him into the fountain, unfortunately. He was going to up his dosage of poison next time. He'll spit in his next beer while he's at it, too.)
As if he wasn't going through every emotion he yearned for, Lohen deadpanned, droning at his boss. "Yeah?"
"You guys...friends?"
You answered first. "Yup! I haven't seen him since before I left."
Lohen thought that was sufficient for his question. "You're back...howβ? The decreeβyou never said anything about returning."
Joy scrunched your face. "It ended a while back. I wanted to surprise you, so I didn't write about it."
(Lohen was young, and very much in great shape, but he thought shock was going to force his heartbeat to a halt. He now owes Barbatos for every time he cussed him out bitterly in his head.)
"You're back..." He repeated.
"I am!"
Besides you, Varka cocked a brow. "Decree? You mean Inazuma?"
You nodded. And Varka went pale. He took a step closer to you.
"You must've been scared. Being trapped in the country. I heard about everything that happened over there." Varka was solemn, regret clouded his face and his voice went dry.
You shook your head. "Things have gotten better over there. It feels normal again." There wasn't a sign of dishonesty, but Varka sank down to a knee regardless, hand over his chest.
"I'm sorry we couldn't do anything. Even though it's our role as knights to protect the people of Mondstadt, we couldn't save you guys. As Grandmaster, I failed you all."
He must've been referring to all the letters that were sent, from merchants to separated family members, asking for help and some sort of intervention.
(Lohen used to press his ear against Varkaβs door, picking up bits and pieces of his discussions with Jean on what to do, though now wasn't the time to admit that.)
You were flustered at the chivalrous act, frantically glancing around at the stares you were receiving. "It's not your faultβthe shogun and her people aren't fond of foreigners. Please don't kneelβ"
Lohen rolled his eyes and tapped Varka's calf, bordering on a kick. "You heard 'em. You're embarrassing us."
Now flustered, Varka stood, rubbing the back of his head. "I still feel bad. Adorno was upset when he found out what happened. He even considered sailing all the way there to negotiate on our behalf."
(Lohen remembers that. When he came running to Adorno to lament about the news, the man was equally as heartbroken. While Lohen panicked, Adorno was already planning to use his retirement funds for an expedition there.)
Your eyes lit up. "Speaking of Adornoβhow has he been?"
Lohen's throat closed up, before glancing at Varka.
Adorno's grave was still clean from last time he stopped by. That was good.
The cecilia was beginning to wilt, a light brown began permeating its white petals. He's surprised the wind hadn't blown it awayβmaybe Barbatos was good for something after all.
The two of you were behind the Cathedral, Adorno's final resting place where many lay peacefully. Daylight was no more, and the cold bit at his face.
His gaze trailed over to you, where you were frozen in the evening, staring at the stone cross. "I wrote about it to you. You just got here before it could arrive."
You said nothing in response, blinking slower than usual.
He sucked in a sharp breath of air. "Do not stand by my grave and cry. My life, I gave to wipe tears dry." Lohen recited Adorno's final words, the last wish he made before his passing. He took a step closer, too apprehensive to dare touch you yet. "There's no need to be sad. It was painless, and peaceful. He was gettin' old, too."
Adorno, in bed, life and colour long gone from his face. Despite tethering on the borders of life and death, his wrinkled hands were abnormally warm, far more than the campsites of their expedition. Lohen's eyes burnt and his nose felt funny, but he subsided it for the sake of his last wish.
"But. If you need to cry, go ahead. I won't tell him." Lohen's hand rested on the small of your back. "We can go around the corner for a bit. And come back. OβOr I can give you some time alone if you needβ?"
"βno. I'll stay." You scrunched your nose and blinked hard, but you didn't cry. "It's been too long."
So you sat down, and Lohen joined you.
"It was his health, wasn't it? You said he was getting worse a while back. 'm surprised he lived for that long." You murmured, squinting at the date of birth and death. "He only passed recently."
Lohen prepared himself to tell the whole story. His gloves felt uncomfortably stuffy before he told you everything.
By the end of it, your eyes were wide as saucers, bewildered at it all.
"Yeah." He wasn't proud of it, but it felt worse admitting it to you, out of all people. Had you been there at the time, you would've told someone immediately, out of pure concern for everyone's wellbeing. "I wrote it all down for you during my solitary confinement. Haven't even seen Theodore since then. He probably got longer than me."
(He should pay a visit, he thought to himself. Though Theodore was the main instigator, without Lohen, he wouldn't have made it that far. He wonders how he's been doing.)
You, were still processing everything. "So you and Theodore...injected Adorno with Ursa's flesh...the same stuff that we were supposed to be experimented on for?β
Lohen nodded.
"And you were the test subject?"
"Yeah."
"Are you stupid? Why would you willingly do that to yourself?"
You hit him in the shoulder, with a new kind of strength you didn't have last time he met you. "I knowβI don't feel good about it either. I was desperate, and y'know, I thought it'd make me stronger, since Ursa's a dragon and all, and whatever. But yeah. It was stupid. I don't really regret it, though. Got to talk to Adorno for a bit longer, and the whole thing helped me accept I was weak.β
He stared at his outstretched palm, where he had pierced with his dagger. Ursa's screams echoed in his skull, and he squeezed his eyelids tight to ignore it. She was dormant, but his fears weren't. At the end of the day, he was nothing more than a mortal.
You nudged him. "I don't think you're weak. Acknowledging it makes you stronger than most people. And I don't think you were wrong for wanting Adorno to live longer."
Lohen shrugged. "I'm only strong among the weak. I'm nothing compared to the people I've met." Racher of Solnari. The Honorary Knight. Even Varka, the Grandmasterβthose who belonged in fairytales and legends to be passed down from generation to generation. They all existed in a realm separate to Lohen's, a random boy who almost fell victim to a harbinger. "I'll get there. Someday. Just not today. I won't do anything like that again, old man."
(Of course, the grave did not respond. But he imagines Adorno ruffling his hair and telling him he was proud of Lohen.)
As long as he didn't lose sight of his goals, nor himself. Lohen had no need for power he couldn't control, for it wouldn't be known as power anymoreβonly poison.
You agreed with a hum. "You better not. You can't get stronger if you're dead."
Lohen let out a dry chuckle, then silence spoke next.
The wind got colder, though gentle, the grass danced alongside it. Fireflies paid a visit, some fascinated by the gravestones that stood tall, others preferred the flowers gifted to them. Day was no longer, aside from the dainty lights of streetlamps standing guard and the lantern sitting nearby, there was no light.
"Your turn." Lohen nudged you.
"What?"
"Tell him all about Inazuma. He wants to know how you've been doing. This time from you, and not the letters you sent over."
(Lohen never shut up about you, Adorno was the closest thing to a father for him, so naturally, he endured the most of his rambling. You'd write him something as simple as "I love sashimi" and Lohen managed to turn it into an essay's worth of conversation, pondering to Adorno on how he could prepare some as a gift to your return, or marveling at how the people of Inazuma ate fish raw, commending their bravery and immune systems.
Adorno often joked that you wouldn't be able to tell him anything about your time away, since he'd have already heard it from Lohen too.)
"You don't have to say it out loud. I just say it in my head if I don't want someone else to hear." He clarified. "Or you can pay another visit next time, if y'know, you need time to process?"
You shook your head. "I'm alrightβI just don't know where to start."
"Wherever you want."
You took a deep breath, Lohen noticed the ever so slight tremble. "Hi Adorno. Long time no see." He leaned back on his palms, watching you tell your story. "I've gotten a lot better. Like really better, the psychologist I was seeing was actually a youkai. It's a kind of spirit from Inazuma and..."
...you told Adorno of Yumemizuki Mizuki, the dream eating tapir, and your psychologist, whom you held a world of gratitude for. You shared your progress, from learning to open up about your past to no longer having nightmares.
The story trailed to your job. It started as Mizuki providing you work at her bathhouse, a role where you prepared their snacks and meals for her clients. It was life-changing, as you described it. You let Adorno know that he didn't have to worry for your future, the job had given you the confidence to pursue culinary school, and you'd been financially stable by yourself ever since. Your career had given you a sense of direction, and you finally felt you belonged in the world.
"Having money's a lot of fun, to be honest. I'm glad I could finally do something for my parents with it."
Your words were soft, yet it strangled Lohen violently.
It was a long time ago, but there was a time where you cried more often than you smiled. Regrettably, you had argued over it. Multiple times.
I hate being so useless. I wish I wasn't a burden to everyone.
The fuck are you talking about? Lohen usually snapped, a tone he wished remained foreign to you. If you need money I'll give it to you. Stop beating yourself up over a stupid job. It wasn't worth your time if everyone there picked on you, was it? Your boss was a piece of shit anyways.
Nausea hit him in a violent wave. He always apologised without fail and you talked things out properly, but he knows he shouldn't lose control. Not towards the people he loves.
"...now that the Sakoku Decree's lifted, I'm back here." You concluded, look back at Adorno with a smile. "I'm probably going to...Lohen? Are you crying?"
Only then, did Lohen notice the wetness on his cheeks.
"Noβ" He lifted his half cape to conceal his face, recompose himself, and blame it on his dandelion allergy that he'd killed off years ago, but you were faster, prying his wrists away.
Your eyelids fluttered, as if you were the one crying instead. "Is it Adorno...?" You let his wrists go and crawled closer, soft thumbs wiping his tears away.
He shook his head, vision blurring with more tears. "It's yoβyou, you're so happy now. And I dunnoβI just feel relieved." His sinuses began to clog. "I thought of every time you cried and talked badly about yourself. And then I thought about whenever I lost my temper at you. And now I feel like shit. " His voice crumbled to nothing but weak sobbing. Lohen aggressively rubbed his eyes, as if he could rid of his tears that way.
Your last night in Mondstadt, six years ago, flashed in his head. Your posture was slumped, a contrast to how you stood tall today. He didnβt have to work for a full smile from you, it replaced the half-assed one you donned to cover up your feelings.
(Lohen wasn't sure what was fluttering in his stomach. Pride? Relief? A hybrid of both? He knew you were far more capable than you deemed yourself to be, so he wasn't sure why he was getting so emotional.)
His tears died down, and you wiped each and every one of them, until they were no more. Your hands remained on his cheeks, holding them, before giving them a gentle pinch.
"Nmmph?"
"Your skin's so soft!" You pinched again, this time tugging on his cheeks. "You really haven't changed. You're just a bigger version of your little self."
(Lohen would've smited anyone else who tried to touch him like this, or made such a patronising comment about him. And although you were the sole exception, he'd also never admit he likes being coddled like this.)
"You're sooo cute." You let go of his cheeks, leaving him feeling bare. Your skin was no longer on his, but his face remained warm. "It's okay though. I told you, I'd be back as a happier person."
He nodded, sick of how he sounded when he spoke. The quiver in his voice was nothing short of embarrassing and pathetic. He watched you shiver, hugging your knees tighter for any sort of comfort.
Lohen sniffled. "You're cold. Sorry, not tryna change the topic or anything. But you're shaking."
The moment you became aware of it, it seemed to intensify. "A bit. It rained a lot on the way here."
He sighed, huddling closer to wrap his cloak around you. "You should've rested first then, before doing anything."
"Probably." You coughed a couple times, pressing closer to him. "I got too excited though. I'll just eat a bunch of ginger."
Lohen huffed, guiding you to stand up. "I'm not going anywhere, neither is Adorno. Let's get you home."
You didn't resist, dusting off your knees. "Alright, alrightβsee you Adorno." You gave the grave one last stare. "And thank you for everything. Without you, today wouldn't have existed for me. For us."
A solemn nod from Lohen, and he silently agreed.
As you walked into the night, you gasped, peering down at the city before walking down the cobblestone stairs. βItβs so pretty. Look at all the lights from everyoneβs houseβoooh, and the stars!β
Lohen watched you smile. βYeah. Itβs beautiful. Very.β
βI missed Mondstadt.β You declared, jumping down each step one at a time.
(And Lohen missed you. Dearly so.)
βMondstadt missed you too.β He murmured, a gloved hand reaching out for you, just in case you tripped or hurt yourself.
Together, you walked down the empty streets of Mondstadt City. The working week hadn't ended yet, leaving the city quiet and desolate, Lohen preferred this over seeing drunk men cheer and trip over their own feet.
"Where are you staying?"
(Though he appreciates your surprise return, he wishes you would've told him. Not only he thought he was having a heart attack, but he wanted to let you stay at his placeβshow off the fruits of his efforts and be the best host he could.
His shock died down, and now all he could think of was his confession to you. The moment he sends you back to your place, he was going to launch into frenzied brainstorming.)
"I'm renting a place at the moment."
His paranoia flared, questioning whose property it was. Shady landlords always targeted foreigners. Obviously, you werenβt one, but anyone could easily treat you as one after how long you were gone for.
But he didn't want to intrude. Youβre smart enough to be cautious of scammers. "You could've stayed in my place. I moved into a bigger house since you left." He says, as if he hadn't told you this over parchment and ink already.
You chuckled, a tune he was addicted to. "I know, but I told you, I wanted this to be a surprise. The rent isn't too bad."
Maybe it was better that you weren't staying at his place. It gave Lohen better opportunity to figure out how he wanted to declare his love. It'd be awful if you walked into his preparations.
"Whatever you say."
Past the Good Hunter you turned, and there it was. You pointed to a building, it wasn't anything grand, but felt excessive for only one person to live in.
"We're here. Thanks again for walking me home." You grinned before sneezing, immediately covering your nose with your palm. The other hand fumbled through a pocket for a tissue.
"GeezβI thought you said your cold wasn't that bad?"
Before Lohen could speak, another voice reached for you.
The door to your house was open, and out came a man. He was tall, short, blond hair propped up by a black hairband. He donned a red jacket, over a tight, black shirt decorated by a silver dog tag.
Down the stairs he hurried, to check up on you and nag about your health.
Who the fuck is this?
After blowing your nose properly, you recomposed yourself, standing straight. "SorryβI didn't think I'd be out this late." You looked back at Lohen. "Right. Lohen, this is Thoma." You gestured to the man besides you, who waved politely at Lohen, resembling a carefree dog. "Thoma, this is Lohen."
What the fuck is Thoma?
Despite being a man of quick decisions and logic, Lohen had little coherency in his thoughts.
"Nice to meet you, Lohen!" Thoma reached a hand out, and Lohen took far too long to reciprocate with his own. "Thanks for walking y/n home."
Were you seeing someone? This guy?
"Uhβyeah, no worries. Anytime."
No, he's jumping to conclusions. Friends travel and live togetherβ
An aggressive shade of red dusted over your cheeks, reaching even your ears. "I'll see you soon. Thanks again." You quickly turned away from Lohen, ushering Thoma inside, muttering something about being cold.
With a final wave, you were inside. Through the window, he could see your blurry figures talk, and muffled laughter slipped out.
Lohen's expertise was vast, but was not applicable to romance in the slightest. However, everyone knows that a blush that deep had to indicate something, a crush, possibly even love, considering how far you had traveled together.
Paralysed and cold, he stood there, a storm of frantic thought brewing in his head. There's no way you guys were dating, right? You would've told him if someone had asked you out, or if you had a crush in the works. But what if this was another surprise?
For a brief moment, he pictured you guys on a date, and was met with immediate nausea.
(He was going to kill "Thoma", or whatever his name was, if it was the last thing he'd do.)
Since then, he was oddly provoked by Thoma, despite his polite demeanour and warmth.
When he returned home, he laid in bed and tried to rationalise the situation.
You. "Thoma". Dating?
Oh my godβwhat if you were married? Lohen didn't notice any rings on you, but you guys were reaching that age. You could've been intending on it, or maybe you packed your engagement ring away, all thatβs valuable doesnβt belong in the open.
He buried his face into a nearby pillow,Β
It's not like you've ever loved him back that way, nor did you vow to remain single forever (not that it'd even matterβyou're allowed to change your mind whenever), but he felt a sliver of betrayal. If he was going to get rejected, he at least wanted to stand a good chance, rather than being nations away.
Lohen dismissed the thought, reminding himself to simply ask next time he saw you before preparing to go to sleep.
The next morning at work, he earned nothing short of concern and judgement.
"What even happened to you?" Eula commented, poking Lohen's head. His cheek was pressed up against the wooden table, neglected paperwork somewhere off to the side and his quill laid just as dead.
He heard Amber come over, too. "Dunno. He looked awful when he got here, then he kinda just gave up after the Grandmaster went out for lunch. Lohennn, are you alright?"
"Is traveling from nation to nation and living with each other a couple's thing to do?"
The two women paused. Amber spoke first. "I guess so...?"
Lohen's fist pounded the table. "I'm gonna kill that bastard."
With a worried, 'let's give him some time', Eula guided Amber away.
He finally sat up, eyelids fighting for their life to remain open. All he did was spiral instead of sleep, conjuring up all sorts of wacky possibilities. It tortured him until morning, and skipping work wasn't a luxury either, considering how he was already in trouble.
He slouched again, this time his chin resting on his forearms. He closed his eyes, hoping for a quick power nap before Varka could yell at him.
Eula came into the room again, heavy boots stomping and interrupting his attempted nap. He didn't react, until she knocked aggressively on the table.
"Fuckβ¦I was trying to sleeβ"
From behind Eula you peered at him, an awkward smile plastered on your face.
'You have a visitor.' She said, then she turned to you. "Sorry about him. He hates paperwork."
He was tempted to interject, insisting that he wasn't that bad with paperwork, it was stupid Thoma's fault. All he did was tiredly squint, and burn with shame.
"Should I...come back another time? Work seems hectic."
He shook his head, excessively, leaving his bangs in his face. "Noβwhat's up?" Frantic, he adjusted them,Β Β
"I just...wanted to see you. And I have something I need to show you."
(It wasn't an engagement ring, was it?)
Lohen's gaze flitted around before returning to you. If he concentrated hard enough and made the most of his desperation, he'd get all this paperwork done. Hopefully soon. "Okay. Yeah that's fine. Just give me a bit more time, I'll be done soon."
The throbbing in his temples disagreed with him.
"Your library's so nice, I had a fun time talking to Lisa."
Lohen himself was impressed with his own performance. He powered through paperwork, a perfect balance of speed, and care, as to avoid being scolded and ordered to redo it all from scratch.
The fresh air helped out a bit, it woke him up and forced his eyes to stay alert. Being so openly weak was stressing him out, even with the confines of Mondstadt City and its walls, he couldn't help but worry about whether he'd be able to defend the two of you if anything happened.
"Lisa? Yeah she's alright..." He rubbed his eye, fervently.
Your hand clasped around his wrist. "You'll hurt your eye if you do that...did you not sleep enough?"
Not at all, actually. "Somethin' like that." His eye begged to be scratched again, but he held back for your sake. "Had...things on my mind."
You released him and nodded slowly. "Is being a knight that hard?"
(Being a knight was fine. Possibly having an unrequited love was far worse and nothing in comparison.)
He made an incoherent noise, before changing the topic. "Where are we going?"
"Back to mine." You smiled, and the exhaustion clinging onto his eyelid was beginning to fade. "I have stuff for you."
Lohen's face soured. Not at the thought of you, nor whatever you wanted to show him, but at Thoma. Lohen thinks he's going to throw up if he has to think about you two again.
"Wouldn't...Thoma be upset? Isn't he staying there as well? Donβt wanna intrude on you guys."
You shook your head. "He's visiting his mother today. Plus, he's a really sweet person, I'm sure you'd like him too.β
Lohen thinks not. "Are you guys like...friends?"
A pause filled the air. "I guess you could call it that. We met at culinary school."
(So are you dating or not? What kind of answer was that?)
Lohen nodded. He decided to take what he could get, and appreciate that he wouldn't have to see you and Thoma together, whatever your relationship was. He can worry about Thoma when heβs not sleep deprived and barely holding himself up. As you walked the familiar route from yesterday together, he found himself wincing whenever sunlight came too close for his liking, another predicament, alongside his brooding.
βOh yeah. I forgot to ask, but how are your parents doing?β
Lohen shrugged.
βStill not talking to them?β
βYup.β He had no need for them or their ways. The most he did was pay a visit on their birthdays, dropping off a gift and a letter. He popped by on holidays, too, limiting conversation to basic greetings. You questioned it no further, just the way Lohen liked itβit was refreshing for someone to accept the way he lived, rather than yapping on about the importance of family and blood. βYours?β
βTheyβre good. Turns out they prefer Inazuma far more than here.β
Lohen liked your parents, it was a shame they didnβt come with you. You inherited your kindness from your mother, whoβd always encourage Lohen to come over for a meal whenever, and you had the same understanding as your father. Lohen never confided to him with his familial issues, yet he provided more insight on his situations than anyone else. He wished he could say hi again.
βWhat about you?β You havenβt told him exactly what you were doing here. βAre you just visiting?β
βKind of? Iβm planning to stay here for a bit. I donβt have a concrete plan.β You hummed, as the wind fluffed up your hair. βMight travel around, now that Iβm not in the middle of nowhere.β
Good. That granted him a decent amount of time to confess to you.
Β βWell, let me know when you figure it out. I want to hear all about it.β
The house you were staying in came into view, but the sound of crying snapped your neck towards it. βWhat happened?β
Lohen scanned the vicinity, nearby was a child, a young boy, wailing and clutching at his bloodied knee. You wasted no time, rushing to his side.Β
βAre you okay?β
The kid cried some more.
Lohen joined you two. βCan you walk, kid?β
His tears didnβt stop, but he planted his small hands against your shoulders and pushed himself with a heave, biting his lip and gluing his eyes shut.
The kid turned to Lohen and nodded.
You inspected the graze. It appeared fine, with no visible dirt, and it was relatively shallow. βWell done. That mustβve hurt a lot, hm?β
He nodded. βIt still doesβ¦β
With a subtle frown, you dug through your pockets, bringing out a small bag. βWant some candy? Itβll make you feel better.β
(Lohen wanted to ask for one too, but he refrained.)
As you tugged the pouch open, the kid deadpanned. βMummy said I shouldnβt accept candy from strangers.β
Lohen couldnβt help but snicker, turning his face away to hide his amusement. βSmart kidββ He placed a hand on his back. βMummy and Daddy are raising you right, hm?β
The kid stared back with judgement. Now it was your turn to laugh.
(Who knew kids were so unfiltered? Lohen knew kids were difficult, but looking back, he mustβve been a nightmare for every adult in the vicinity.)Β Β
βSageβI told you not to run.β
The womanβs voice almost echoed across the city, frantic and booming. The boy reacted immediately, hobbling into her arms and resuming his crying. You both stood up as well.
βCβmon, what do you say to the nice couple?β She urged him to say thank you, and the boy reluctantly turned around, hands still clinging onto her clothes. βThank you for looking out for himβ¦oh, you must be a knight?β
She looked Lohen up and down, he saluted in response. βYes. Your son should be fine, as long as you clean and bandage it. It doesnβt appear to be serious.β It felt wrong, performing his formalities in front of you. He reserved this tone for diplomatic meetings, where pissing off an official could ruin an entire agreement, not the gentle streets of Mondstadt City, where you could speak to anyone as if they were close friends.
The woman sighed, and thanked you as well. βYou guys would make wonderful parents.β
Your eyes grew wide. βPβparents?β
βYeah.β She repeated, as if it were common sense. βArenβt you a couple?βΒ
(See? Even the citizens of Mondstadt knew you two would be a great pair. Fuck you, Thoma.)
You corrected her with a stutter and flustered cheeks. βNβno maβam.β
She was unbothered by it, and seemingly unconvinced as well. βOh. What a shame, you seem to be close to each other.β With a final goodbye, she walked away with her son, excusing herself with needing to prepare dinner early tonight.
Together, you watched them return home. βAw. I wanted him to taste test my candy.β The pouch laid in your hands and you frowned. βI didnβt know kids were soβ¦sassy, nowadays.β
Giddy from the womanβs assumption, Lohen leaned closer. βIβm always here. Iβll eat anything and everything.β A random kid wouldnβt appreciate it as much as him, anyways. Those would eat anything as long as thereβs enough colour and sugar.
You smiled. βOf course you will. You can try some after I show you what I planned out for you.β
A grin crept onto his lips. With anticipation akin to a childβs, Lohen followed you into your house like a puppy, overflowing with joy.Β
When he reached your living room, you stopped him, slipping behind the knight before encasing his eyes with your hands. They were soft, and warm, nothing in comparison to the calluses that inhabited his palms. βYouβll keep it a surprise, right?β
He despised the unpredictable and unknown, but he nodded and his eyelids shut willingly. βOf course.βΒ
By his hand, you led him through the place, until coming to a stop.Β
Β βOpen.β You requested. Then he obeyed.
Lohen blinked. It was just a living room. A bit bare, but it was a normal living room. There were crates stacked in a corner, presumably the belongings you and Thoma brought to Mondstadt.
He began sweating, wondering if he was just being incredibly dense. βAm Iβ¦?
You pointed to the corner, scurrying towards it and grabbing the closest one. βSouvenirs. For you. I probably shouldβve considered how you were going to bring it homeβ¦β
Souvenirs? Those crates could probably carry every possession to his name.
βCome hereββ You ushered him closer, placing the crate on the floor and prying off the lid.Β
He crouched beside you. βA crate is a lot for souvenirs, isnβt it?β
βIs it too much? These are all for you.β
(Lohen has infiltrated illegal auctions. Embarked on trecherous journey to the lawless nation of Nod Krai. Even went face to face with a sinner of Khaenriβah. But heβs never felt more lost than right now, at this moment.)
βWβHowβs there so much? I thought these were all your things.β
You blinked. βNope. Theyβre for you.β You shrugged, beckoning him to look through his gifts by himself. βIf something made me think of you, I bought it.β
Inside were an assortment of weapons, alongside bottles of what he assumed to be poison.
βAhβthis stuffβs for work and your training.β You beamed. βA friend of mine, his family specialised in bladesmithing. You said the more weapons you have, the safer you feel.β
βYβyeah I did butββ He gestured to the stack of crates nearby. βBut this is insaneβthis wouldβve cost a fortune.β He remembered your family being middle class, neither struggling nor subjugating financially, but this was an absurd amount for anything.
βItβs over six years! I promise Iβve been working hard, I stayed with family majority of the time anyways.β Your eyes sparkled with promise. βPlus, I wanted to do something nice for you. You never buy yourself anything. I bet you still hardly treat yourself.β
(You were right. Unless it was a necessity or gift for another person, Lohen seldom spent money. It was a waste, considering the Knights funded all equipment, which included most of Lohenβs collection, and he preferred to have a great sum saved up, just in case something ever happened to him.)
βI guess not?β He scratched at his nape. Protecting himself and guaranteeing safety was a good enough βtreatβ for him. βDunno what Iβm supposed to get for myself, anyways.β He craved the things money couldnβt purchase. Getting Varka off his back, never running out of stamina, youβ
βThen let me do it for you. Youβve always worked hard, Mr Captain.β
The title made him stutter and blush. βVice. I told you, I didnβt get the promotion after what happened.β
But you didnβt care. βWell, Adorno and I think youβre worthy of it. And itβs basically yours since itβs vacant, no?β
(God, heβs getting way too far ahead of himself, but Lohen really wants to propose to you on the spot.)
βIββ For a moment, Lohen thinks to hug you, thank you in his own special way, with affection and his entire beingβ
βy/n! Do you have someone over?β
Great.
βYeahβitβs Lohen.β
Thomaβs head popped into the doorway, and he grinned from ear to ear. βHey. Hi again.β He greeted Lohen, who responded curtly. βWhat are you guys up to? Iβm not interrupting anything, am I?β
(Yes, yes you are Thoma. Read the fucking room.)
You patted the crate. βSouvenirs.β
Despite his irritation, Lohen wore a smile as he got up. βHello again. Howβs your mother doing?β
Thoma was caught off guard, glancing towards you. βSheβs good, itβs been forever since I got to see her. Thanks for asking.β
βI didnβt expect you to remember that.β You mumbled, pushing off the crate to stand up. βHeβs really attentive, isnβt he?β
His smile grew into something genuine in the praise. Thoma nodded along, hardly meeting Lohenβs gaze. βYeah. Do you have any dinner plans?β
(Fuck. Lohen shouldβve asked you to dinner before Thoma could.)
You shook your head, turning to Lohen. βDo you?β
He shook his head back, and internally, he was brimming with pride, celebrating the fact that you immediately turned to him.
Thoma readjusted his jacket. βThen since weβre all together, wanna go for a drink? Itβll be on me. Iβve hardly spoken to your friend yet.β
You immediately shook your head. βLohen doesnβt driββ
He lied, insisting otherwise. βIt's alright. I couldn't possibly decline the kind offer."
And so, Lohen was seated in the Tavern besides you. Conversation of its patrons blended into one big mess, the noise infuriated Lohen, not nearly as much as his drink did.
Alcohol was fucking disgusting, Lohen thought, as he gulped down another ungodly mouthful. He glued his eyelids shut and swallowed, careful not to choke and spill any.
On the way to the Tavern, he watched you two carefully. So far, his theory of you two dating appeared false. There was hardly any physical contact between you two, nor did Thoma seem protective of you (and if Lohenβs assumption was correct, then Thoma was an awful boyfriendβwho knows what could happen at night, near a bar where many drunk people were).
Logically, Lohen still stood a chance. However, getting you to like someone like him back, was an entirely new challenge he had to tackle.
Unlike Lohen, you and Thoma were fine, casually sipping without even a flinch. Conversation bounced between you with ease.
βI forgot how different Mondstadtβs beer was.β
βI wasnβt even old enough to drink, last time I was here.β Thoma finished the last of his drink, peering into the glass with an eye. βTo be honest, I still prefer sake.β
With your glass to your lips, you chuckled. βMe too. This isnβt too bad, though.β
Lohen picked up his pace, you were finishing up too, he couldnβt fall behind. To find drinking alcohol enjoyable was weird, Varka, or anyone of the knights, had no right to call him insane when they could drink beer as if it were water, and derived pleasure from it.
(His stomach complained and groaned for help, but he kept going. Heβll make himself puke it out his system if needed. Lohen refused to appear weak in front of Thoma, out of all people.)
Another round of beers paid a visit, and Lohen already felt sick at the sight of a full glass.
βSo Lohen, I had no idea you were Vice Captain! Thatβs really impressive.β
(What was that supposed to mean? That he didnβt appear worthy of his position?)
He played it off with a chuckle, thankful that speaking meant he didnβt have to drink. βIt was nothing. Just took a few years of work.β
You butted in, protesting. βLiarβwhat do you mean Vice Captain isnβt a big deal?β
Lohen shrugged. βItβs not like I had to fight for my life for it.β
You huffed, taking another swig. βYou still deserve credit.β
βYouβre doing much better than me. If anything, hard work should be rewarded.β You were a cook because you dedicated your blood, sweat, and tears to it. Lohen was vice captain because he liked killing shit.
A smirk creased his lips, high off your praise, as he leaned forward to speak to Thoma. βWhat about you, Thoma? What do you do for a living?β
His face was hot and the insides of his mouth didnβt feel like his anymore, but he had to check what sort of guy you were possibly with. He took another large gulp, concealing his disgust with a sigh.Β
Despite it all, Thoma was unbothered by him. βIβm the housekeeper and Chief Retainer of the Yashiro Commission.β He clarified, proud and bright. βNothinβ special.β
Damn right. But that was too impolite to say. Lohen kept to himself and nodded. βI see. Any good in a fight?β
You answered before Thoma could. βHe actually isβhe faced the shogun.β
Lohen choked on his own spit. βWhat?β
Thoma aggressively shook his head, pink blooming on his cheekbones. βAll I did was throw a spear.β
βOh shut upβyou threw it at her and somehow survived.β
βStop bringing it up already.β But he laughed alongside you, the two of you happily bickered and drank beer.Β
Lohen doesnβt get what you see in this guy. He took another swig, already adapting to the ugly taste.
Sure, Thoma did have a vision. And he was decently built, his muscles peeked out a bit from his tight top. And he was tall, really tall, but not in the same obnoxious, oversized way as Varka. He had blond, well kept hair and bright, green eyes that resembled green apples and ripe limes sold in the markets of Dornman Poβ
Fuck. Now he was just listing all the good things about him. And there were plenty. Lohen himself couldnβt account for all the memories and feelings only you two shared and knew of. Thoma got to be there for you. Lohen was in a completely different continent.
Being blond wasnβt that important, was it? Varkaβs blond and he wasnβt even close to marriage, neither was Jean. And itβs not like being short was a bad thingβa super tall partner would be unsettling anyways, wouldnβt it? Lohen had a vision too, and heβd say his physique wasnβt too shabby as wellβ
β...en? Lohen? Are you okay?β
(Just like how Lohen had to come to terms with his own mortality, he had to come to terms that maybe you werenβt meant to be. He should appreciate he gets to see you, and be within your presence, much like how he needs to acknowledge his human limits.
There was no point in brooding and complaining about Thoma, heβll probably remain a bit bitter for the rest of time, but he should at least accept that you wanted someone else.)
It hurt, so Lohen drank some more.
His head spun and his face was warm and fuzzy. He rubbed his cheek with his own hand, despite the glove in the way. Even though it acted as a barrier, it felt abnormally warm.Β
βLohen?β
He blinked. βIβm fine. I can handle my liquor juuuust fine.β He slurred a bit, but he knew what he was doing, and where he was. He took another gulp. Heβll just get tipsy enough to forget about you and Thoma for a bit. This is why people drank, right? βSomething happen? Need me to fight anything?β
Through half lidded eyes, he watched you shake your head. βYou seem a bitβ¦drunk?β
He gulped down some more to compensate. βIβm not. You have nothing to worry about.β
You acknowledged it with a hum, and went back to staring at your drink. Lohen wondered why you stopped talking to Thomaβmaybe he went to the washroom, or something.
βYou never told me you started drinking. I couldβve brought you back some sake.β
Thomaβs absence tempted him. He slouched over, resting his cheek on your shoulder. It was wrong, to snuggle so close with someone elseβs lover, but he wanted to do it one last time.Β
βItβs fine. It tastes like shit, anyways.β He reached for his drink, but you pushed it out of his grasp, and he gave you an indignant look, pale cheeks pouting, round and soft.Β
βIβm pretty sure youβre very drunk. Drink water first. You need to flush it out your system.β You turned around, finding someone to call for water, but Lohen refused. With an immature whine, his arms wrapped around you, chin nestled into your shoulder.Β
He could easily kiss you. All he had to do was move forward.
You smelled nice. A scent he couldnβt name, but it was far more pleasant than the colognes and perfumes heβs ever encountered. Something that didnβt fit into existing definition. His eyelids relaxed, and he embraced your proximity.Β
βYβyouβre drunkββ
βAnd youβre pretty.β
Lohen pressed even closer, his nose brushing against his neck. He wanted to press a kiss on the flesh, bite a bit, even. He thought to himself, about how badly he wanted to kiss you all over, spoil you with all the affection he could possibly conjure. Maybe leave even a mark or two, bruising you with his love for the rest of the world to see.
(But he held back. It was audacious enough to cling onto someone taken. He needs to pull himself together and apologise before Thoma returns.)
Despite his effrontery, your hand made its way to his head, caressing his hair before patting his back. βAre you alright?β
(He wanted to throw up. Not because of the alcohol.)
βItβs not fair.β Lohen slurred, now burying his face into your shoulder. βYou were gone for so long, how was I meant to stand a chance?β
He shouldβve scraped up the money and joined you on that boat, and travelled across treacherous seas while by your side. That way, he wouldnβt have to swim in all his desire. Now, he found himself drowning, with no way of reaching the surface again. Lohenβs love filled him up to the brink, from his heart to his lungs, dragging him down to the depths of nothingness.
(Lohen charged at any sort of peril of ease, even back then with six years less of experience. A simple love confession may appear pathetic in comparison to the dangers he faced, but wounds heal and flesh grows back, while a rejection would leave a scar uglier than the ones his skin donned.)
His hand squeezed you even tighter. βI love youβI shouldβve told you before you left. Maybe then I wouldβve stood a chance againstβ¦Thoma.β His words were punctuated by a violent hiccup, it tasted of beer and misery at the back of his throat. βAnd got to be there for you. All I could do was write letters.β Lohenβs voice broke, almost crumbling into tears. βDo you know how scared I was? What if I somehow forgot your voice, or how you lookedβ¦β
Lohenβs face peeled off your shoulder, and his lips daringly inched closer to your ear, though he didnβt go any further. "I know I can't make you love meββ He whined, a pathetic noise, one that not even children could make. ββbut I should've found a real dandelion."
He shouldn't have torn his letter apart. "Maybe fate wouldnβt have taken you away from me.β
(Pull away, do it now, Lohen told himself. It grew into insistent commands, echoing in his skull. Youβre not his. What he was doing was wrong and was only going to make things harder for everyone, especially you. He could barely excuse himself spewing his emotions like this, now was the time to let go. And throw up.)Β
You werenβt replying. Of course you werenβt. Heβll have to apologise tomorrow, when his head wasnβt spinning and bile wasnβt growing at the back of his throat.Β
The world faded to black.
For the first time in his entire life, Lohen was mortified at himself.
He carried not an ounce of shame when poisoning Varkaβs oversized beers, nor when hunting down and blackmailing Kaeya for a forged signature. Rumours did nothing to him, he did not care for the opinions of others, only freedom reigned his actions and philosophy.
His eyes hadnβt even opened yet, and behind the darkness of his eyelids, all he saw was disgrace. Heβd be impressed by how self conscious he was, if it werenβt for the fact that it was you he embarrassed himself in front ofβhe probably tarnished your reputation too, the one you barely got to rebuild after your return.
But he was remorseful as he was humiliated. You deserved an apology, and so did Thoma, even if he was envious of him. Heβd let you beat him to a pulp if needed, if that was what it took to earn a chance of redemption.
βFuckβ¦β He groaned, pushing himself up. βEverything hurts.β
The sunlight oozing into the windows was blinding, despite being gentle and soft, all it did was make his head throb uncontrollably. His muscles screeched for help, soreness seized his body hostage. Lohenβs head felt too heavy, as if he could collapse at any moment.
He thought about last night, and everything beyond his body began to hurt.
It really wasn't a nightmare. You being in love with someone else.
Lohen cackled to himself, all alone in his bed. He's a fucking idiot, and loser, and should never be in the proximity of alcohol again.Β
Why was he even surprised? You were perfection and sunlight personified, it was no wonder whenever someone asked you out. If anything, it was Lohenβs fault not considering that during his last goodbye.
But instead, he tore his confession into pieces, for a wish that came true far too late.
βI'm an idiot, aren't Iβ¦?β Lohen whispered, to no one in particular.
βI don't think so.β
βWhat the fuckβ?β
You had just walked in with a glass of water. βSorry. I heard you laughing and realised you were awake.β You approached his bed with a glass of water. βFeeling okay?β
Lohen accepted wordlessly. He wasn't sure what to be embarrassed for, from his unrequited feelings to whatever the hell he was doing earlier, it felt as though heβd done everything possible to make a fool of himself.
βGood job.β You praised, taking the glass from his hands.
(You were attractive, even when talking to him like a child. Being praised for drinking water seemed absurd, but he wasn't allowed to say that when he was relishing every word.)
Now wasn't the timeβhe watched you place the glass on his bedside table, as you settled onto his bed. βHow are you feeling?β
βShit.β
βYeah. That makes sense.β
Come to think of it, he hardly had any recollection of last night, aside from his shameless antics. It felt worse, not knowing the full extent of his predicament.
He glanced around his house. βHow did I get back home?β
βI carried you.β
Lohen didn't remember that.
βThβthanks. You didn't have to.β
βI didn't have a choice. You were clinging onto me and saying I had to come over.β
He didn't remember that either.
βIt was pretty cute, actually. You were really excited to show me your new place. For good reason, tooββ
βIβm so sorry. IβIβI can slit my stomach open for youβthat's how they do it in Inazuma, isnβt it?β
(He enjoyed being called cute far too much. Now was not the time for it.)
βNoβI mean yes, they doβthat's not the point.β Your hand held his, reassuring him with the rhythmic stroke of your thumb. βNo oneβs mad at you, Lohen. Iβm definitely not.β
God, even now, you managed to be kind. Lohen would go insane if someone behaved as ridiculously as he did.
βYeah but I bet Thoma isββ
βWhy would Thoma be mad at you?β
He waved his hands around frantically. βI was hitting on youβIβd be pissed if a guy was all over my lover like that.β
You blinked once. Then twice.
βThoma and I aren't dating.β
He was so shocked, that relief didn't even pay him a visit. In fact, nothing went through his head.
βDid you think we were together?β
βYβyeah?β
You were stunned too, mouth hanging open as you processed his words. βIs that why you were one-upping him?β
βI was doing what?β A sharp pang throbs in his head for speaking too loud.
βWhile you were drunkβyou were rambling about how Thoma. You said stuff about tall men being difficult to date and blond people being insanely overratedββ
Lohen snapped, unintentionally. βStop. I'm gonna die if I hear the rest of that.βΒ
First, his one and only love didn't want him back, then he got wasted over a conclusion he jumped too, and now he was hungover in front of you.
He swallowed. βI still owe you two.β If anything, heβd prefer you to slit his stomach open, or beat him βtil you were satisfied. Anything over how calm and understanding you were being. βYou mustβve been embarrassed.β
You shrugged. βI told you, it was cute. I've never seen you so clingy.β
Another hot, uncomfortable wave of embarrassment washed over him.
He should bring up his feelings now, shouldn't he? Apologise for confessing in such an inappropriate, dramatic way in a public setting. Then he should walk you home and apologise to Thoma while he was at it.
Where should Lohen start? He drafted an apology in his head; about last night, sorry forβ
ββI love you too, by the way.β
βThe fuck?βΒ
A hand clasped over his mouth and he felt another urge to profusely apologise.
βLast night. You said you loved me.βΒ
He watched you inch closer, his heart racing even more when he felt your warmth in his proximity. βI did say that.β
βWhy are you so surprised then?β Your hand holds onto his, abnormally warm compared to his body temperature. βI'm giving you an answer.β
βWhβare you sure?β Since when were you this ballsy? You used to be so timid and shy, now you were essentially climbing onto him. βI must be going insane.β
βI had six years to think about you while I was gone. Yes, Iβm very sure.β You pinched his cheek, gently tugging at the flesh. βSee? You're not dreaming.β
Lohenβs mouth hung open, yet no sound came out. He stared at you, and at your thighs that were on top of his, and the pink permeating the apples of your cheek.
(Words were never his thing. Paperwork was pointless when all the information was in his head and made perfect sense to him. He even had a hard time adapting to writing letters, it didnβt sound nearly as nice when it was in ink instead of speech.)
So Lohen pulled you closer. You landed on his chest, his arms clamped around you like a vice.
You yelped, peering back up at him. βLohen?β
His fingertips played with the back of your shirt. βMay I?β
βSure but what are youββ A shaky gasp interrupted your question, and the noise drove Lohen insane. βColdβyour hands are so coldβwhat are you doing?β
"Need to feel you moreβ" His hands massaged the soft flesh, he was right, youβd gained quite a bit of muscle since you left. His hands paused and his hollow eyes held something akin to sorrow. βFuck. Do you know how upset I was? IβIβI was worried you were engaged.
You snorted, pinching his cheek again. βEngaged? Why would I be engaged with Thoma, when all I wanted was here in Mondstadt?β
Lohenβs gaze drifted away. βYou were blushing.β
βHm?β
βYou were blushing around him. When I dropped you off. So I thought you had a thing going on.βΒ Β
This time, you burst into laughter. Normally, heβd enjoy how it sounds, but right now, all it did was fuel his embarrassment. He withdrew his hands from your back and rubbed his eyes as you composed yourself. βSorryβthat was mean. Did it not occur to you that I was flustered because of you?βΒ
Lohen frowned and scoffed. βYou didnβt even look at me when I dropped you off.β
You rolled over, settling next to him. βReally? I probably got embarrassed. I told Thoma all about you, yβknow? Since like...the beginning of our friendship? He kept telling me to confess to you during the trip here. He even made a whole gameplan for me. Yβknow he only invited us to dinner to try to get us alone. He slipped away after you got tipsy.β
(Huh. Maybe Thoma was a good guy, after all. Not only does he owe him an apology, but a massive thank you, as well.)
βSo. Thereβs no doubt that youβre the one I want, okay? It was like that long before I left Mondstadt.β
Weakly, he nodded, finally able to feel relief. βOkay.β
You liked him back, no, loved him back. For over six years, too.Β
Lohen's heartbeat raced, to the point he began to worry about it bursting out of his chest. Unable to cope with all the emotions eating away at it and his pounding headache, he flopped back into bed. Heβll deal with it when heβs not hungover. For now, knowing of your feelings was the only thing keeping him alive at the moment.
He turned away from you, burying his face into his hands, wincing at the aftermath of his drinking. "Ugh. My head fucking hurts...'m gonna die for a bit. Wake me if it's an emergency."
You sat up instead, already heading to the kitchen. "Oh. I just started preparing a hangover soup butβ"
Lohen shot up, posture pin straight.Β "I'll eat."
βYou just said your head was hurting. You should rest first.β
But he stood up, throwing his blanket somewhere on the floor. βSoup. I want soup.β
Your mouth opened to protest, but you gave up. βSure. Whatever you want. Letβs go to the kitchen, then.β
βI love you.β Lohen said, a plea for you to say that you loved him again. Even with evidence, everything still felt like a dream. He wondered if this was another pleasant dream, and heβd wake up, forehead to the desk in Varkaβs office with groggy eyes, accompanied by paperwork instead of you.Β
He begged for it not to.
You took his hand, pulling him along. βI love you too, Lohen.β
βSo. Now weβre together.β
Lohenβs quill was nowhere to be seen, and his feet were propped up onto the table, as Varka groaned, arms crossed at his own desk.
βI get that young love is beautiful and whatnot. But might I remind you, that youβre still under strict supervision and you didnβt come in at all yesterday.β
Lohen rolled his eyes, his cheery mood undeterred by Varkaβs disappointment. He had spent the entire morning rambling about you, celebrating your new status as lovers and verbally brainstorming his plans for the future. He told Varka of all the souvenirs you brought him (if it could even be called thatβthere were crates upon crates) and boasted about how lucky he was to be in love.Β He even went as far as mocking Varka, boasting about how you made him a special hangover soup, all from scratch, while Varka had to tough out his hangovers.
(He even ventured towards the topic of marriage, debating where to get an engagement ring commissioned someday and reminding himself to figure out your favourite gemstone. Varka scoffed when Lohen asked where he got his, rubbing in the fact that the Grandmaster was very much single. The closest thing Varka was married to was duty and responsibilityβmaybe even alcohol, too.)
A gloved hand rested over his chest. βTo be fair, you did pull me out of solitary confinement for them.β He stared at the roof, unbothered by the chandelierβs glare as he swooned. Heβll pick up a nice bouquet of lovers on his way home for you. βSix years have never been more worth it. Barbatos, I'm sorry for cussing you out. You're not so bad.β He said to no one in particular.
The Grandmaster stood up, approaching the young man. He grabbed his quill and tossed it in front of him. βWas your lover worth getting wasted in front of everyone?β
Lohenβs heart sank to his stomach. His neck snapped straight and he looked Varka dead in the eye.
βOh hey. Youβre turning red now. Youβre starting to remind me of Dilucβs hair.β
βHowβd you even know about that?β Suddenly, his feet were off the table, heels planted to the floor and his body tensed up, as if preparing to escape or attack Varka at any moment.
βI was there? Had a drink with Kaeya and caught up with Thoma. His mother and I go way backβ A slight smirk creased his lips. βYou donβt seem very fond of him.β
You failed to mention that, all you told him was that he was being clingy and confessed, before begging you to come over. How much did you leave out? You were the type to omit details for the sake of anotherβs dignity, and the only things Lohen could recall by himself was his slurred speech and whining.Β
Varka didnβt relent in his teasing. βHuh. You donβt seem so bad when youβre shy. I can see why youβve finally found yourself a lover. Well done, by the way. Good thing Thoma wasnβt interested in them.βΒ
βIβll do the paperwork, okay?β He snatched the quill, grip tightening to the point his knuckles faded to white. At this rate, he was going to do things worse than poisoning his beer. Heβll rush through this paperwork before running off to go see you again.
But apparently, his current state wasnβt amusing enough. βI can see why you donβt drink. Youβre worse than me. You even threw mora at Thoma to prove you were richer. Kind of cute seeing you jump to conclusions and get all whinyββ
βShut up.β He really will up his dose of poison. And throw out the antidote while heβs at it.
β 10. snap / 1.4k words. warnings: swearing and no beta read I wrote this in tears after mexico was eliminated. β πΉ
βWhy would you think a stall has a lot of clients?β
βWhat?β
βDo I really need to repeat myself?β Lohen pointed annoyedly at the line of people surrounding the ice cream/sorbet shop with the pen, before returning to tap it against the clipboard βThat.β
Mika let out a deep sigh out, not because he was tired of his attitude, that was a plus of all this ridiculous situation; but because he resisted to call him βpatheticβ.
Totally lamenting the moment he agreed on this rendezvous the blonde observed as well the booth, at the contrary of the other one he didnβt focus his attention on you but on the ice cream.
βMaybe the ice cream is too good? I havenβt tried it yet.β
βOr maybe itβs her?β abruptly Lohen remarked, tapping the pen faster as he observed each one of the interactions people had with you.
Why didn't Diona hire someone more? Leaving that amount of work to one person looks exhausting, the quantity of orders arriving, charging and handling the ice creams, not to forget to interact with that many people in a short amount of time.
Interacting⦠Do you remember each one of them? Maybe, at the end you smile at each one of them so sweetly, trying to provide the best customer service possible, can really tell this is your first job.
Ah, how he would love to be one of them right now.
βUh, Lohen?β
βPlease Mika, I'm having a blast on my thoughts right now.β
βOh, sorry. Continueβ he thought the blonde one was making fun of him so staring back at him he notices how his friend really just let it be without bothering anymore.
βHff, whatever. We should get goiβ.β Why the hell did the sound of your laughter reach his ears? No, WHO is making you laugh?
π£²β
βHi! Good afternoon, welcome to Catβs Eis. What can I get for ya?β
This was the 17th cookies and creme waffel of the day, did Diona put a promotion or something? Or why these people were ordering and ordering the same, it makes no sense! Well at least it was working to make profit for the day, that was enough to satisfy both, your employer and you.
Cause this is better than being sat the whole day behind the stall doing nothing, no shade to Floraβs booth.
βhiiiiii, one mango sorbet please!! and and, could you add jueyun pop rocks? please, please!β a joyful voice greeted first, huh, you recognize this one.
βOh!! Itβs you again, isnβt this like your 5th ice cream of the day?β
βItβs your 5th?β her companion repeated while observing her, the slight tone of judgment behind his words totally made you lament to say that instead of greeting back and giving her the order.
At the end it was understandable, she looked like what. 9? Who at 9 doesnβt want to eat ice cream until the sugar reaches the brain and melts the neurons keeping the system alive. Not a lactose intolerant for sure.
βBut Albedo niiβchan!β the little girl pouted, oh you truly felt like shit for ratting her out. βThis is Dionaβs booth! I want to help her to earn as much as possible so she can have extra time and play with Klee!β
This kid⦠is so amiable.
Telling her that Diona wasnβt there wasnβt your duty but at the end the little blonde tomato, was Klee her name? whatever, she wasnβt that far from reality at the end as the same time this ice cream business was up, Diona had another booth running on, a bar.
Canβt believe Dilucβs rival on this matter is a 12 year old girl. This is really something that would only happen in Mondstadt.
βPlus I've been helping her! This is my 5th waffel but different flavour! my first one was βmomβs making cookiesβ but it did NOT taste like momβs cookies.β started, voice pitched as she tried to help herself into convincing his older brother to allow her to get more ice cream. βAfter that I tried litchi gold and it was good butβ.β
Wow, the amount of persistence Klee had was truly one to admire, this kid was really impressing you.
People? Like? Suggestion? Ohhh, so she was the one who was making everyone order that same flavour for the last two hours. This was so hilarious, really. The whole scene was making you giggle out of realization and a part of appreciation at the little girl's shenanigan. Maybe Diona should hire her as a human announcement.
As she continued trying to make her point and convince the other blonde, you began to scoop both orders, one mango with extra jueyun pop rocks and one cookies and creme. Adding an extra scoop to both waffels and handing them to both.
βI should be more grateful then! Thanks to you today's been busy.β smiling you gave them both desserts and then made a cross with your arms, as a way of saying that those scoops would not be charged. Probably that was one of your most sincere smiles of the day, not because of courtesy but of real goodness this 9 year old was making you feel.
βSo thank you, uhm. Klee, right?β
βYes! Yes! Ice cream person you are the best!β ice cream person? well thatβs new, at least itβs better than spoon lady.
Aside from giving her those free cones as a thanks for keeping the business up, more in this economy, it was also a personal thanks of yourself. Making you busy with the orders and this little scene totally distracted you from thinking about him, thank god the shooting galleries were far from your work cuz if you see him from a far no one knows what would happen.
βThank you.β the older one spoke, damn you didnβt catch his name when little Klee was making the performance of her life a few seconds ago.
βNo problem! Uhm, sorry to be this noisy but what was your name again?β
βAlbedo.β
βNo problem, nice to meet you, Albedo. Same to little Klee here! I promise I will look after her each time she comes here.β that sounded too cheerful from you, wow.
As the two kept thanking you and noticed a small glint of happiness showing up on the older one, he truly looked happy at his little sister being happy. From watching him being judgy to now happy you totally preferred his happy persona, he looked pretty.
βSo sorry to interrupt but you two have been holding the line for fifteen minutes.β someone broke in the cute atmosphere, totally breaking it into small pieces. βAs a KoF supervisor I need to keep the queues moving. You understand that, right, Albedo?β
Of course it had to be him.
Before Albedo could speak to him you stopped him making a motion with your hand, trying to catch the other's attention. Which was already into you as soon as he approached the booth.
βAlbedo, could you cover dear Kleeβs ears, please?β he nodded and did as asked for.
βSo being a supervisor allows you to be a dick to everyone else?β you asked totally perplexed, Lohen stared back unbelieving of what he just heard. Before he could even reply back you started again. βTrust me the presence that is not needed here is someone elseβs.β
βI am here to talk about the market organization.β
βYou can talk about that with Diona, not with me. So if you keep annoying me and my clients I will let Varka know.β the threat wouldβve weighed more if instead of mentioning prof. Varka you called Jean but at least Varka would put him in his place.
An awkward silence grew in the atmosphere so coughing to kill the lack of sound you went back to both blondes, going back again to ignore the slate grey haired one.
βSorry for that, see you around!β
βSee you aroundβ¦?β Albedo spoke back, making an expression to get a form to acknowledge you too.
β(Name.)β
β(Name), see you around then.β he smiled before leaving and seriously Lohen has never wanted so much to take out his eyes before this.
masterlist / prev / next
NOTE: OKAY this is an experiment pls let me know if this format (small letters) for the written parts is good or if I should stick to the regular one please thank damn lohen they hate u for good
β 10. snap / 1.4k words. warnings: swearing and no beta read I wrote this in tears after mexico was eliminated. β πΉ
βWhy would you think a stall has a lot of clients?β
βWhat?β
βDo I really need to repeat myself?β Lohen pointed annoyedly at the line of people surrounding the ice cream/sorbet shop with the pen, before returning to tap it against the clipboard βThat.β
Mika let out a deep sigh out, not because he was tired of his attitude, that was a plus of all this ridiculous situation; but because he resisted to call him βpatheticβ.
Totally lamenting the moment he agreed on this rendezvous the blonde observed as well the booth, at the contrary of the other one he didnβt focus his attention on you but on the ice cream.
βMaybe the ice cream is too good? I havenβt tried it yet.β
βOr maybe itβs her?β abruptly Lohen remarked, tapping the pen faster as he observed each one of the interactions people had with you.
Why didn't Diona hire someone more? Leaving that amount of work to one person looks exhausting, the quantity of orders arriving, charging and handling the ice creams, not to forget to interact with that many people in a short amount of time.
Interacting⦠Do you remember each one of them? Maybe, at the end you smile at each one of them so sweetly, trying to provide the best customer service possible, can really tell this is your first job.
Ah, how he would love to be one of them right now.
βUh, Lohen?β
βPlease Mika, I'm having a blast on my thoughts right now.β
βOh, sorry. Continueβ he thought the blonde one was making fun of him so staring back at him he notices how his friend really just let it be without bothering anymore.
βHff, whatever. We should get goiβ.β Why the hell did the sound of your laughter reach his ears? No, WHO is making you laugh?
π£²β
βHi! Good afternoon, welcome to Catβs Eis. What can I get for ya?β
This was the 17th cookies and creme waffel of the day, did Diona put a promotion or something? Or why these people were ordering and ordering the same, it makes no sense! Well at least it was working to make profit for the day, that was enough to satisfy both, your employer and you.
Cause this is better than being sat the whole day behind the stall doing nothing, no shade to Floraβs booth.
βhiiiiii, one mango sorbet please!! and and, could you add jueyun pop rocks? please, please!β a joyful voice greeted first, huh, you recognize this one.
βOh!! Itβs you again, isnβt this like your 5th ice cream of the day?β
βItβs your 5th?β her companion repeated while observing her, the slight tone of judgment behind his words totally made you lament to say that instead of greeting back and giving her the order.
At the end it was understandable, she looked like what. 9? Who at 9 doesnβt want to eat ice cream until the sugar reaches the brain and melts the neurons keeping the system alive. Not a lactose intolerant for sure.
βBut Albedo niiβchan!β the little girl pouted, oh you truly felt like shit for ratting her out. βThis is Dionaβs booth! I want to help her to earn as much as possible so she can have extra time and play with Klee!β
This kid⦠is so amiable.
Telling her that Diona wasnβt there wasnβt your duty but at the end the little blonde tomato, was Klee her name? whatever, she wasnβt that far from reality at the end as the same time this ice cream business was up, Diona had another booth running on, a bar.
Canβt believe Dilucβs rival on this matter is a 12 year old girl. This is really something that would only happen in Mondstadt.
βPlus I've been helping her! This is my 5th waffel but different flavour! my first one was βmomβs making cookiesβ but it did NOT taste like momβs cookies.β started, voice pitched as she tried to help herself into convincing his older brother to allow her to get more ice cream. βAfter that I tried litchi gold and it was good butβ.β
Wow, the amount of persistence Klee had was truly one to admire, this kid was really impressing you.
People? Like? Suggestion? Ohhh, so she was the one who was making everyone order that same flavour for the last two hours. This was so hilarious, really. The whole scene was making you giggle out of realization and a part of appreciation at the little girl's shenanigan. Maybe Diona should hire her as a human announcement.
As she continued trying to make her point and convince the other blonde, you began to scoop both orders, one mango with extra jueyun pop rocks and one cookies and creme. Adding an extra scoop to both waffels and handing them to both.
βI should be more grateful then! Thanks to you today's been busy.β smiling you gave them both desserts and then made a cross with your arms, as a way of saying that those scoops would not be charged. Probably that was one of your most sincere smiles of the day, not because of courtesy but of real goodness this 9 year old was making you feel.
βSo thank you, uhm. Klee, right?β
βYes! Yes! Ice cream person you are the best!β ice cream person? well thatβs new, at least itβs better than spoon lady.
Aside from giving her those free cones as a thanks for keeping the business up, more in this economy, it was also a personal thanks of yourself. Making you busy with the orders and this little scene totally distracted you from thinking about him, thank god the shooting galleries were far from your work cuz if you see him from a far no one knows what would happen.
βThank you.β the older one spoke, damn you didnβt catch his name when little Klee was making the performance of her life a few seconds ago.
βNo problem! Uhm, sorry to be this noisy but what was your name again?β
βAlbedo.β
βNo problem, nice to meet you, Albedo. Same to little Klee here! I promise I will look after her each time she comes here.β that sounded too cheerful from you, wow.
As the two kept thanking you and noticed a small glint of happiness showing up on the older one, he truly looked happy at his little sister being happy. From watching him being judgy to now happy you totally preferred his happy persona, he looked pretty.
βSo sorry to interrupt but you two have been holding the line for fifteen minutes.β someone broke in the cute atmosphere, totally breaking it into small pieces. βAs a KoF supervisor I need to keep the queues moving. You understand that, right, Albedo?β
Of course it had to be him.
Before Albedo could speak to him you stopped him making a motion with your hand, trying to catch the other's attention. Which was already into you as soon as he approached the booth.
βAlbedo, could you cover dear Kleeβs ears, please?β he nodded and did as asked for.
βSo being a supervisor allows you to be a dick to everyone else?β you asked totally perplexed, Lohen stared back unbelieving of what he just heard. Before he could even reply back you started again. βTrust me the presence that is not needed here is someone elseβs.β
βI am here to talk about the market organization.β
βYou can talk about that with Diona, not with me. So if you keep annoying me and my clients I will let Varka know.β the threat wouldβve weighed more if instead of mentioning prof. Varka you called Jean but at least Varka would put him in his place.
An awkward silence grew in the atmosphere so coughing to kill the lack of sound you went back to both blondes, going back again to ignore the slate grey haired one.
βSorry for that, see you around!β
βSee you aroundβ¦?β Albedo spoke back, making an expression to get a form to acknowledge you too.
β(Name.)β
β(Name), see you around then.β he smiled before leaving and seriously Lohen has never wanted so much to take out his eyes before this.
masterlist / prev / next
NOTE: OKAY this is an experiment pls let me know if this format (small letters) for the written parts is good or if I should stick to the regular one please thank damn lohen they hate u for good
βThe macarons are resting, so they are almost done, girls!β Navia shouted from the kitchen as the strawberry blonde and you ran all over the first floor of her house and outside the patio, chasing each other.
Todayβs weather was truly perfect for the scenario, warm enough for an ideal pool day but the sun wasnβt shooting deadly lasers at Fontaine so no sunburn was threatening the magical rendezvous.
Magical? Hmh, now that the thought popped in your mind youβve never asked Lyney to perform a trick for you. On the other hand Lynette sometimes pulls small illusions to tease yβall but never a full performance, maybe asking later at school would get all to see them in action? Wouldnβt that be lovely?
Deep in thought the unexpected grasp of Escoffier on the fabrics of the swimsuit made a sudden reality check as the sudden embrace of the poolβs warm water made contact with the two.
βEffie! You are going to kill us!β was heard as water was being thrown to the one that pulled both to the pool.
Laughs and splashes echoed the patio as the other blonde made her way to sit near the edge of the water, only sinking her legs as she kicked more water to the two that were already in.
βWhy is Lynette taking so loooong?β Escoffier complained as her limbs rested on the surface of the water, making the form a star that your unanticipated weight on top of her made it sink. βHey!! Donβt do that.β
βRace me to the wall where Vivi is.β you pointed where the blonde was watching both playing, waving a smiley.
βDeal.β without thinking twice the chef sank and began to swim towards a direction, a realization of the lack of goggles to swim underwater hit you immediately but! allowing Escoffier to win this little competition? Uh-uh, never.
The chlorine bugging your eyes was nothing compared to the thought of a dearest friend, who was now in advantage, rubbing a defeat of this, so with full eyes closed you felt as a dolphin making the way in, hopefully, to the right side.
Not knowing how close to the wall were both you kept swimming, not until the top of your head crashed against the tilted material. Sudden realization of reaching Navia hit as making your way out.
βNavia! Navia! Did I win?β
βAt what price, dear.β eh? βLet me get you something cold for your bruise.β was the last thing you could hear before she left, was the crash that badly?
A string of pain could be felt on the gap between the eyebrows but was something handable, maybe it looked worse than how it felt.
Rubbing your eyes, trying to soak your eyes and free them from the chlorine bugging them, a shift of temperature resting on the red mark made you startle, Navia came back pretty quickly, were the macarons not ready yet? ah, maybe she preheated the oven wrong so she just left the shells to rest even more until they were set to be filled.
βVivi, youβre oddly warm.β still with both eyes closed, you lean at the touch and rested the cheek on the arm in seek of warmth as the cold can rested on your face. Ah the mix of temperatures felt good.
Well, it was good. Until Escoffierβs muffled chuckles ruined the moment.
βWhatβs so funny?β a quick peek toward the strawberry blonde brought a flash of short black nails into peripheral view.
Naviaβs nails are cyan.
As fast as lighting your face backed out of the can, eyes wide as discs staring utterly embarrassed at an also giggly Lyney who was still lifting the cold container.
βHow?! What are you doing here?β it sounded more mortified than what you intended but it kept the main embarrassment on the tone that creeped on this scenario.
This cannot be happening, it was supposed to be a ladies night! It was supposed to be the distraction night where you donβt text or give up your thoughts to him or anything else!
So this is what Lynette stated as revenge. Not fair! This is emotional manipulation, referee do something!
βI only came to leave my sister.β did the water in the pool rise a little? βBut Navia told me to stay, does that bother you?β the corners of his mouth lifted in a small smile, a teasing one.
Oh, so the real opp is Navia. Betrayed by your own intimate.
βIt bothers me.β Lynette came from behind, sitting on the edge of the pool, kicking some drops of water at the two of you.
Phew, at least Lynette was partly against this. Missing of words your eyes kept moving from the menace in front to your dear friend, trying to telepathically tell her to do something.
βDamn you two wait until marriage to show some skin.β Okay that was enough, time to fulfil Fontaineβs prophecy on Escoffier.
As you jumped on her ready to sink her to the bottom, not only with your weight but also with the secluded frustrations that were tormenting you, some laughs were hearable outside the pool.
π£²β
βWe are even, right?β
You nodded tired, towel over your shoulders drying the wet strands of hair that were dripping on the stone floor and part of the outdoor sofa. Finishing drying would be a priority if your whole attention wasnβt on who not only was living rent free in your mind, but also causing you distress.
Todayβs been a tiring one, ah not even a single second on rest. First that class where you doubted what you were pursuing to study and now this! This was way too much to handle for a 2nd year highschooler.
βIβll help Navia with the macarons, I'm not in for a sweet tooth today.β giving her two thumbs up Escoffier left to the kitchen, leaving you alone on the patio chairs.
That is worst, at least talking to Effie was keeping you on the ground without drowning in your thoughts, well whatever.
βHelloo.β someone greeted stretching the last vowel with a playful tone, ah of course, what was missing.
βHi.β
βFor someone who is always cheerful on dm you looked annoyed.β Fuck. βWas I catfished?β Lyney sat right next, leaning against his arm which was resting on the backrest of the furniture.
βNo Iβ just had a long day, sorry. I thought swimming would make me feel better but it didnβt.β
He must have seen how odd you were that he turned off the teasing of his tone and stared slightly, worried? Were you being open about your emotions too much?
βDo you want to talk about it?β Yup, he is really a big brother.
"In front of Lynette?β voice lowered and pointed behind you, at least the other two girls finally came out of the kitchen with the pastries and tea, acting as a distraction and saving your dignity with one of your closest friends hearing how her brother was offering to doβ¦ that.
βSo you are not against it?β answering a question with another one, and care to add that now he was back at that teasing tone.
If the embarrassment on your body werenβt there you would smack tf out of him.
Plus you two are not that close enough, right?
As time ran, the five spent a few hours chatting and eating pastries. With some cringey stories coming out paid with another silly anecdotes of the extra guest delivered by his small twin.
βOh, look at the hour. Itβs time for us to go.β a sad tone was present in Lyney's voice as he checked his phone, standing up from where he was sitting, next to you.
βBoo, you didnβt even have time to swim with us.β Escoffier added. βNot even a small magic performance.β
βWell you said it. No skin βtill marriage, right?β
All of your friends stared back at you surprised, but amusement at his words were not allowing your brain gears to function normally to reply back. Seriously, get this guy out before someone (u) passes out.
Accompanying Navia to the front door you three waved them off goodbye, not before bidding farewell to Lynette by a cheek to cheek kiss.
Of course HIM would also lean in for a cheek to cheek farewell, well it's a Fontaine tradition so thereβs nothing wrong in it.
Well there was nothing wrong until he moved his face so youβd leave a kiss on his cheek near the commissure of his lips. Leaving you even more flustered than before.
βSee you around, (Name).β Ah, this crush of yours is truly something.
MASTERLIST, βοΈ previous | cherish | 16
NOTE: MEXICO WOOON πΉπΉ i'll be updating happily till sunday cuz i'm aware we have no chancr against england so i'll die out of sadness
syn: albedo swears you're the most incompetent colleague and assistant he has ever worked withβyet the way his hands keep finding you says otherwise.
an: fluff, slight angst w happy ending, gender neutral reader, very sad attempt at slowburn, making out (professionally), passive aggressiveness in the workplace !? or is it flirting ... no one will ever know ... except for u and albedo
"you know, for someone who is the chief alchemist, you're incredibly stubborn."
you mutter, not even bothering to look at him as you lazily arrange your test tubes in the rack. dragonspine's harsh winter doesn't spare the lab, frost tracing delicate patterns across the laboratory's windows. neither of you seem to notice, or care.
across the lab, albedo's back faces yours, writing observation logs in his notebook. "i am precise, not stubborn." he replies backβprofessional tone and all, not bothering to look at you as well.
"right," you reply, a small smirk forming on your lips as you labelled a test tube. "precise, calculated, and infuriatingly impossible to work with unless someone has infinite patienceβwhich, sadly, i don't have."
"your methods are reckless." albedo simply says, as if it were a universal and very obvious fact.
"reckless? you mean effective, kriedeprinz."
albedo has to stop himself from letting out an annoyed and disgruntled sighβah, how did it even get to this point...
albedo still remembers the day when master jean introduced you as the newest addition to the knights of favonious' investigation teamβa renowed, decorated researcher from a far away nation who has made many breakthroughs.
everyone was all polite smiles n nods,
his newest assistant alchemistβdeputy alchemist, his second in command, should he ever be unavailable. an efficient, logical decision.
until you and albedo realize you get along like oil and water, and someone had apparently decided to shake the container.
the shift doesn't happen during introductions, it happens a week later when master jean assigns the both of you to co-author a report on an abyssal anomaly discovered near dragonspine. the goal is simple: identify the cause and propose a containment method, nothing different from your usual scope of work.
you recommend controlled neutralization: temporary suppression, continuous monitoring, adjustments based on reactions.
albedo recommends complete isolation: containment, no interference until every variable is understood.
"you are willing to accept unneccesary risk." albedo declares.
"and you're willing to let things escalate while you think about it." you counter.
neither accusation is unfair.
neither of you apologizes, even after master jean tells you both to establish a professional, civil relationship without trying to get in each other's nerves.
you think he's too methodological, too stiff. everything is calculated to the last decimal.
he thinks you're too eccentric, unpredictableβway too confident in intuition.
you think his notes are boringβall too neat and too formal. while he thinks your notes: colorful and messy in all its glory, is the most abhorrent thing he's seen throughout his homunculus life, who uses pastel markers for academia!?
he has probably stared at your notes longer than he'd like to admit. expression unreadable,
"...is there a reason why your reaction rates are highlighted in rainbow?"
"they're important." you mutter, focused on highlighting another line of reaction rateβa purple highlighter with glitters this time. "rainbow helps me remember." you add, completely serious.
"...i see." albedo lies through his teeth. an abomination. glitter should not exist in the context of academia, let alone alchemy, let alone here, in his lab. yet here it is.
you and albedo never fight loudly.
that would be undignified. and unprofessional, of course.
instead, you wage war on each other through microaggressions.
still unprofessional, but professional enough.
sucrose gets nervous whenever both of you start bickering and starts preparing excuses to leave ever since, timaeus immediately flees when he sees you together in the same room.
"deputy alchemist," albedo says one morning without looking away from his station, tone flat and professional as always, as it should be. "your deviation is off by 0.03."
you don't glance at him either. "chief alchemist," you call back with feigned pleasantry, "that deviation is intentional."
"explain."
"you'd understand if you have read the footnotes." you grin,
...
no retaliation.
a win for you!
the laboratory slowly becomes a battlefield of small, petty acts.
albedo starts to rearrange your notes. claiming it's for the name of science. you get back at him by rearranging his reagent shelf... the next day, he turns your labelled substances backwards.
one time you find your notebook placed squarely in the center of your work table.
too neat.
too suspicious.
you flip it open.
...your colored tabs have been reordered.
you slowly turn your head to him, his back facing you as he simply went on working in his station without a care in the world.
"did you reorganize my tabs?"
"they were ineffeciant."
"...they were chronological," you huff,
"they are now logical," he hums.
"touch my notes again, and i'm putting glitter glue and stickers on yours."
albedo secretly shivers in his boots. "...that won't be necessary."
you retaliate further during another dreaded joint report, he drafts a structure. you add annotations and written comments.
he reads them later.
"consider applying real-world factors." "this is wrong." "have you accounted for human error?"
his jaw tightens.
later that night, you find written sticky notes with his own annotations and comments on your report...
"your assumptions lack theological rigor." "did you fall asleep writing this paragraph?" "define your terms."
...
you take a mental note of them before ripping them out.
because despite everything, you work astonishingly well together, surprisingly.
breakthroughs and solutions come faster when you remain civil for 10 minutes, and when you argue, answers emerge.
neither of you acknowledges this out loud. the constant pettiness and bickering have grown to be as easy and natural as breathing between the two of you.
albedo starts anticipating your objections. and braces himself for your disgraceful color combinations whenever he opens your notesβbut quietly acknowledges that your data is flawless.
...
he realizes the equations are aligned. the data grouped the way he prefers, variables ordered and arranged. conclusions concise.
hm.
you've began adjusting yourself a bit for him.
in truth, albedo has also been doing the same thing in his own wayβhe leaves room in his notes, blank spaces for your commentary, his phrasing and explanations written to be understood by you only.
again, neither of you acknowledges this.
the other knights and citizens start seeing you and albedo as a pair.
if anyone is looking for the chief alchemist, they ask you.
if anyone is looking for the deputy alchemist, they ask albedo.
whispered gossip soon echoes through the favonious headquarters:
"aren't they always arguing?" "right? but they're always together." "wanna make a bet? hehe."
a pair, indeedβa dysfunctional oneβbut undeniably a pair.
at some point, you've settled in as deputy alchemist and your infuriating chief alchemist.
sunset brushes past the windows of the favonius library as you and albedo are seated and surrounded by a clutter of books and notesβbrainstorming the next course of action on how to contain the same abyssal anomaly in dragonspine that master jean assigned both of you to work together on.
and for the past 20 minutes, you've been arguing over theories, over phrasing, over whose notes are clearer (it's yours; albedo is wrong and you will die on that hill), and trading barbed remarks like muscle memory.
"your containment rune is inefficient, how are we sure that the corruption will remain static?" albedo says calmly.
"and your containment method acts like abyssal energy behaves like a polite variable." you shoot back, "which, historically, it does not."
his gaze flicks to your page.
"you've highlighted it again."
"because it's important. how many times do i have to tell you?"
"...in chartreuse."
"chartreuse commands attention."
"it commands a headache."
you lean back in your chair, arms crossed. "you just hate that my notes are better than yours."
"your notes," albedo inhales, "are an affront to academic tradition."
you let out an offended gasp, "you're just jealous my notes make your notes look boring." you retort,
"at least mine don't sparkle as if it was some children's book."
"that sparkle is a mnemonic device."
"...it's just glitter."
"glitter is a tool." you shrug.
he exhales softlyβbarely there, but you catch it. another victory for you!
"regardless," albedo continues, "my containment model takes account for potential abyssal surges. yours relies too heavily on adaptive responses."
"strategy."
"recklessness."
"cowardice."
...
albedo pauses and studies you for a moment. eyes sharp, calculating. then infuriatingly amused.
"you enjoy this." albedo says.
"enjoy what?"
"arguing with me."
you freeze, heat creeping up to your cheeks before you quickly look down at your notes again. "don't flatter yourself. you're just easy to provoke."
albedo hums, "whatever you say, deputy alchemist."
...
the sunset deepens, pink-orange light stretching long across the table. comfortable silence fills the library.
albedo clears his throat.
"your theory," he says, begrudgingly. "has merit."
a small smirk forms on your lips, "your proposed method isn't terrible either."
very high praise. from both of you.
as always, neither of you acknowledges how close you're sitting now.
neither of you moves away.
...
sleepiness starts to lull your body, you rub your eyes. "we're going in circles." you mutter, your chin resting on your palm.
"your method might collapse under prolonged exposure.. mine destabilizes without.." you pause, voice getting weaker from every word that manages to slip past your lips. "without.. hm.."
albedo watches you trail off.
"you're doing it again." albedo points out. scribbling something on his notes.
"doing what," you mutter, a yawn threatens to slip past you.
"you always start rambling when you get tired." albedo answers, accustomed to his deputy alchemist's habits by now.
you mutter with something incoherent, albedo doesn't listenβbecause your shoulder bumps into his arm, followed by your head resting on his shoulder now.
albedo freezes.
and then your weight settles properly, breath evening out as if your body has decided that his shoulder is apparently the comfiest pillow in teyvat.
...oh.
albedoβlogical, precise, calmβalbedo, doesn't move. or breathe. at all.
he swallows, before carefullyβagonizinglyβadjusts his posture so you don't slide off of him. albedo looks down on you, the golden hour paints your skin as your lashes flutter closed.
his hand itches to brush back a stray lock of hair fluttering against your forehead.
you look... peaceful.
this is.. this isβ
"how scandalous."
albedo nearly jumps out of his skin.
lisa stands a few steps away, eyes sparkling with delightβvery amused. "i leave the library unattended for one evening," she continues sweetly, gaze flicking pointedly between a sleeping you and a mortified albedo, "and the chief alchemist is already letting his deputy fall asleep on him."
albedo feels his cheeks warm.
"miss lisa," he stammers. "this is notβ"
"hands-on research?" she teases.
"βwhat it looks like."
lisa's smile widens, "mm.. i'll be sure to inform master jean that the investigation team is making excellent progress."
albedo lets out a quiet undignified noise of embarrassment as he watches lisa turn her heelβgiggling to herself as she disappears between the shelves.
"..this." he mutters to himself, "is very unprofessional."
he doesn't move.
not until you wake up.
whatever happened that evening in the library, albedo never mentions it again.
master jean's letter arrives a week later,
afratu, a visiting akademiya researcher from sumeru is set to visit and offered his impromptu assistance once he has heard of the anomaly in dragonspineβa temporary collaboration, a fresh set of eyes, albedo thinks.
"execellent!" you hum, skimming through the letter. "someone with actual field experience."
"sumeru scholars vary in quality,"
"ah, spoken like someone who has never been invited to the akademiya."
he shoots you a look, you smile sweetly.
afratu arrives in the laboratory that afternoon,
"deputy alchemist." the scholar greets warmly, offering a gloved hand. "i've read your work on abyssal energies and lunar bloom, elegant theory." he adds,
you blink, surprised as you mindlessly shake his hand. "you.. have?"
"twice." afratu flashes a smile easily. "your color-coded annotations are infamous. half of the darshan thinks they're madness, the other half swears by them... fortunately, i am one of them," he continues.
you laugh,
albedo does not find it very funny.
"chief alchemist albedo," he turns to your superior. "your reputation precedes you."
albedo gives him a professional smile and a nod.
...
albedo never anticipated that there would be a day where he is clearly third-wheeling in his own laboratory.
albedo watches with sharp eyes as afratu leans in for the 5th time (he totally wasn't counting) to listen to you explain your findings, and the way he would laugh a second too long when you make a joke.
"your deputy alchemist is meticulous." the scholar hums, satisfied with the progress. "i've never met anyone who was so well-versed in this field of alchemy." he praises.
albedo feels something ugly starting to bloom in his chest,
"my assistant is skilled." albedo says, flat. "praise is unnecessary."
...well, maybe he probably should have left that last part outβ
from his peripheral view, albedo sees you give him a quick glare, a warning.
afratu chuckles, "you're very... strict with your colleagues, mister albedo."
"i'm simply strict with variables." albedo says nonchalantly. "...some are more volatile than others." he adds.
you don't catch the way albedo's eyes briefly flickers to how your shoulder is almost brushing against afratu's.
hm.
how inconvenient.
whatever this feeling is, albedo doesn't like it. and he has no idea what to do with it.
...
the ugly feeling blooming on his chest further escalates when afratu does not leave even after he has done this part. instead, the scholar lingers around the lab. around you.
very, very inconvenient...
everytime afratu's soft laugh echoes through the lab, albedo's focus scatters, and everytime you accept his cheesy praises, his grip tightens on his beaker a little more.
"have you considered publishing a joint paper? the akademiya would be delighted to have you contribute to their body of knowledge." afratu gleams.
...
before you could reply, albedo looks up from his station sharply. "the deputy alchemist is currently affiliated with the knights of favonious." he retorts. "my assistant's work belongs here."
you give him a questioning look, "that's not what he meant,"
"that's exactly what he means." albedo shoots back,
"external publication requires approval from the acting grand master. you out of all people should know that, deputy alchemist." albedo finishes, now fully turned to the both of you.
you let out an exasperated sigh, just what is up with albedo today?
"i am aware of protocol," you reply, voice tight. "however, i was not aware that you could speak on my behalf." you add.
"i'm simply clarifying boundaries."
"no, you're being weird."
"i am not, what i said was accurate, no?"
"you can shove your protocols up yourβ"
"are both of you usually like this?" afratu's voice somehow manages to slip in, more amused than offended. both of you slowly turn your heads to look at him.
"no." "yes."
both of you say at the same time, you glare at each other.
"this collaboration is complete," albedo declares, firm yet calm. through something dangerous flickers underneath his tone. he turns to afratu,
"as much as we appreciate the help, your role in this project is complete." albedo finishes.
"on what grounds?" afratu raises a brow.
"interference, you have already finished your role." albedo answers back. "...and you're distracting my assistant."
you turn to albedo, your eye twitches.
...
even after afratu bids farewell, the tension in the laboratory doesn't dissipate one bit,
"what was that." you glare, clearly fed up.
"...i simply dismissed someone who has finished their job." albedo replies, adjusting equipment as if nothing had happened.
"he wasn't harming anyone."
"he was distracting you," albedo huffs.
"you don't get to decide that, albedo." you glare, arms crossed.
"i do," he retorts back, "when it compromises work."
"he wasn't compromising anything."
"he was going to."
"because you said so?"
"this conversation is unproductive, return to your station, deputy alchemist." albedo quickly turns away from you,
"of course, when things get uncomfortable, you shut it down." you let out a bitter laugh. sharp and hollow.
"i'm simply trying to prevent unnecessary mistakes as chief alchemist," albedo mutters under his breath. you glare at him, stepping closer.
"or are you just afraid of losing control, huh, chief alchemist?" you challenge, "that's enough." albedo's stern stare gazes back at you.
"you are my deputy alchemist, act like it." he huffs,
a bitter dread starts to pool down your stomach, "thats all i am to you, huh?" you ask quietly.
albedo doesn't answer.
"because you rarely treat me like a colleague," your voice cracks, low.
"you always treat me like i'm something that might break when you let go; something volatile."
"you're reading too much into this. you're letting emotions cloud your judgement." albedo scolds, his grip on a test tube tightens.
"right, because it seems like you don't have any." you snap back.
...
you almost miss the way albedo's eyebrow furrow for a second, what seems like regret and the urge to deny what you just said, ghosts his expression for a moment. but it's gone before you can be so sure.
albedo swallows, "this project requires discipline, not sentiment."
you step back,
you distance yourself from him.
"...you've made that very clear." you reply, voice quiet.
"...good."
...
the laboratory is eerily silent as you turn to your station. your hands shake just enough that you have to stop what you're doing.
the laboratory work goes on as usual. professional. as it should be, always.
that evening, albedo retreats to his quarters with guilt and a sense of trepidation clawing through his skin.
dragonspine's winter never sleeps.
snow falls through the air and unto your hair, some settling over the ice and fractured stone where the abyssal anomaly hums and pulsesβugly and twisting wound in the land, dark purple streaks stain the pure snow.
the prototype mechanismβsomething meant to contain and neutralize this threat once and for allβstands in front of you as a testament to the joint work of you and albedo, it hums gently.
"the field is stable, we proceed." albedo announces, voice flat, as usual.
you simply nod, slowly waking the mechanism to life as its humming grows louder.
...
"albedo," you call out. "..if it destabilizesβ"
"i'll shut it down." albedo replies, "that's why i'm here."
you pause, before nodding and turning back to the controls. because despite everythingβyou still trust him, even now. always.
the mechanism hums even louder now, golden sigils start to dig deep in the snow-stained stones as it surrounds the abyssal filth. for a moment, it works.
the abyssal mass recoils and groans loudly from the contact, its pulsing slowing as the mechanism gets to work.
albedo lets himself breath a sigh of relief.
the ground shakes as the abyssal anomaly shrieks in agony, tearing through the air, backlash detonates through the field. your eyes widenβthe anomaly is attempting to override the mechanismβ
"albedo!" you call out through the loud shrieking, "it's overloading!"
albedo moves instantly, hands hovering through the control panels of the prototype, "i can compensate, give me 5 seconds..!"
your eyes snap back to the abyssal anomaly, abyssal energy starts to condense and threaten to fractureβaiming straight at him.
you move before you could even think.
because despite everything,
you still trust your chief alchemist.
your shoulder collides with his chest and shoves him away from the area, making him stumble out of the way and hitting the ice, the abyss detonates before he could reach out to youβ
you feel it first, as your vision turns white.
the feeling of abyssal filth slamming straight into your body and clawing deep into your veins, the next thing you feel is your body hitting the stone wall hard from the impact with a crack, knocking the air out of your lungs.
the abyssal anomaly moans out, before dying off. the prototype slows down its hum, metal smoking and sparking from the overload.
but albedo doesn't pay any mind to it. nor pay a single look to it.
the sound of his boots frantically running on snow fills the dreadful silence after the loud shrieking has died.
albedo's breath stutters when he almost collides with your body from running so fast, you're slumped against the stone like a puppet with cut strings, abyssal residue starts to bleed through the snow.
albedo's heart drops.
"what were you thinking?" albedo's voice tries to remain as calm and stern as possibleβbut it shakes, akin to a child trying to act like a scraped knee doesn't hurt.
"i told you to not do anything brash before the demonstrationβ" albedo's voice cracks once more. his hands are on you, checking, stabilizing, doing anything to counter the corruption starting to envelope your body.
your hearing and vision goes on and offβ
"...you were going to get hit." you mumble weakly, barely audible. but albedo picks up on it immediately.
"that was not your call to make," albedo scolds, voice breaking under the strain. "you disobeyed me, youβ" he cuts himself off to hold back a sob.
you've never seen your chief alchemist look so scared in his life.
your grip on his sleeve loosens.
"noβ" albedo, logical, calm, albedoβpanics as he scrambles to pick you up from the ground. "don't close your eyes on me. that is an order." he hisses under his breath, before running to head to the healers,
you don't answer.
"please." he pleads.
"argue with me again, prove me wrong, insult my notesβanything. i'll listen this time, i swear i will." he pleads one more time.
your consciousness slips away.
the last thing you hear is albedo calling for a healer.
and the way he calls out your name. torn raw from his chest,
not deputy alchemist, not assistant.
you hear him call out for you one more time.
...everything hurts.
unconsciousness envelops your body as you shut your eyes.
...
back at the cathedral, barbara and the other healers move quickly to cleanse the abyss out of you. voices overlap, but albedo hears none of it as his eyes are only set on your unconscious body.
"internal damage," someone says, "the abyssal residue is engraved too deepβ"
"remove it," albedo snaps, despite knowing it's easier said than done.
"chief alchemist," another healer calls out gently, "forcibly extracting it couldβ"
"then stabilize it. i'll authorize it." albedo quickly interjects, calm, or atleast trying to sound like it.
no one argues, they quickly get to work on the next course of action. his gaze never leaves you, as if it will wake you up and you'll be alright.
albedo clenches his fist, his nails biting his skin. "you took a hit meant for me." he whispers under his breath,
"do you know how inefficient that is..?"
his breath shakes,
"do you know how unbearable that is?"
...
albedo stops sleeping.
instead, he documents everything, the ceased anomaly, the prototype, the residue on your skinβeverything, with precision and borderline obsession.
except the only, one thing he can't explain,
why you. why not him. why now.
and just like in the library a few weeks back,
albedo doesn't move, nor leave your side.
not until you wake up.
the first thing you feel how bad your body aches before you even open your eyes when you try to move.
the second thing you feel is warmth in your hand,
you slowly open your eyes, finding yourself in bed in the infirmary room.
"don't." albedo's voice is the first thing you hear, quiet.
you squint, lashes fluttering as you turn your head to him. he's seated beside your bed, posture rigid, hair a bit of a mess.
"...did it work?" you ask, voice croaked.
albedo sighs, of course, the first thing you ask isn't if you're okay. "yes. the anomaly has been contained." albedo simply says, voice strained.
"do not do that again." albedo continues immediately, arms crossed.
"well, good morning to you too," you murmur, "...you look like crap."
"this is not a laughing matter," albedo huffs, stare stern and firm.
"you nearly died." he adds, jaw set. "you will rest, no field work, no experimentsβthe healers are almost done trying to stabilize youβ"
"wow," you interrupt weakly. you feel like shit right now, but it doesn't stop you from poking fun at him. "you really missed me, huh."
albedo pauses, "do not trivialize this."
"i'm not," you huff, "i justβ" you try to continue, before hissing when you attempt to shift your position, albedo immediately stands up to adjust your pillow, "owβokay, maybe a little."
he exhales sharply, "you violated protocol."
"here we go again..." you murmur,
"you don't get to endanger yourself in my lab under my watch."
"what was i supposed to do, then?" you snap back, "just stand and watch you become stain on the ice?"
albedo pauses, "...you are my responsibility. if someone is going to get hurt, it must be me."
"...that's not a productive assessment." he simply says,
"don't care."
albedo quickly puts on a serious face again, "you are my deputy alchemist, and your duty is not to put yourself in lethal situations."
"funny," you say, voice flat. "seemed like it was the only thing i had to do that time."
...
"...do you have any idea," albedo says slowly, voice tense. "what it felt like to see you hit that wall?"
your chest tightens, you avoid his gaze.
"do you know what it's like," he continues, voice lowering. "to try calculating and rationalizing with yourself and realize every outcome might end up in you not waking up?"
he pauses, swallows.
"...i trusted you. i still do." you murmur. your hand grips the blanket,
"and i failed you."
"no, you didn't,"
albedo lets out an empty chuckle, "you absorbed an abyssal blow meant for me, by any rational metric, that is failure." he scoffs, sarcastic.
you shift in your bed uncomfortably, your fingers itch to grab his sleeve,
"i did it because i knew you would have done the same."
...
albedo doesn't deny it. doesn't pull away.
"...do not do that again." he simply repeats, not an order this time, but as a plea.
you reach out a little bit more, hand brushing his sleeve. "you didn't sleep, did you." you reply,
he doesn't answer.
you sigh, "so a yes, then."
"you're not allowed to protect me like that," he mutters.
"then stop being so damn protectable." you shoot back softly. he stares at you. "...that sentence doesn't make sense."
"neither does you thinking i'd let you get hurt." you scold, "so we're even."
albedo lets out a soft exasperated sigh, shaking his head. "..even when you're in an infirmary bed, you're still as infuriating as always." although there's no bite to it, only relief.
you smile, eyes getting sleepy. "you love working with me."
albedo simply adjusts the blanket over you, pretending he didn't hear what you just said,
and stays.
a week or two goes by,
the healers advised you to rest, barbara said so, kaeya says so too, and even master jean out of all people, insists that you do.
so the first thing you do is step back into the laboratory.
"...didn't i tell you to stay in bed?" albedo mutters, worklng from his station. you grin, shrugging. "relax, i'm just here to visit,"
you both know that's a lie, you're definitely slowly starting to slither back into work again.
albedo sighs, but doesn't shoo you away. "fine. but i am closely monitoring you."
...
you notice how his hands hover against the small of your back or your elbow when the floor is too slippery, or when he gently brings you slightly behind him when he's about to handle a potentially volatile substance.
"how gallant," you tease.
"the laboratory and dragonspine can be hazardous," albedo says immediately.
"how hazardously gallant of you, then."
"...when will you ever stop testing my patience?"
"not until you admit that my notes are better than yours."
"my point still stands that it looks like it came out from a children's book."
"you like my notes."
"i tolerate them."
"liar." you hum, slumping a little against the counter. albedo notices how close you are now, but doesn't make an effort to pull away.
"...me tolerating them is the highest form of praise you will get regarding your notes." albedo replies,
"atleast my handwriting is still readable,"
"readable doesn't always grant professionalism."
"agree to disagree, then?"
...
slowly, but surely, you start to work in the laboratory again. you can feel albedo's careful stare digging into you as you get back to working in your station as if nothing ever happened.
"don't rush," albedo hums gently, a bit of concern in his tone.
"me? rushing? never." you hum back, moving deliberately slow to annoy him a little.
you hide back a grin when you notice him in the corner of your eye pinching his nose bridge, mumbling under his breath along the lines of "..idiot."
the laboratory is alive with you back again, the humming of equipment, the blowing from the wind, and the rhythm of bickering, that strangely, feels like home.
yet something has shifted between the two of you.
"you're standing in my way." albedo blurts out.
"you're standing too close." you shrug.
"...you're blocking the crafting bench."
"then say 'please move, my amazing dear deputy alchemist.' first,"
albedo exhales, "...move."
"wow, rude."
"insufferable."
yet when you do move, he places a hand on your waist to guide you away from the equipment. just for a second, fleeting. nothing more, totally.
as always, you don't acknowledge this.
...
dragonspine's winds howl louder than usual as notes scatter the laboratory, you and albedo go over the reports and findings of the abyssal anomaly to report back to master jean.
albedo hums, leaning over your shoulder.
"you missed a decimal." albedo points out,
"hm? where?" you squint.
you freeze when albedo leans in further, his finger pointing out the mistake in a reportβclose enough that you can smell the faint scent of chalk and snow on him.
you wait for him to step back
he doesn't, not immediately.
"...there." he murmurs, you clear your throat. "oh, yeah. good catch." you hum, avoiding his eyes.
...
he clears his throat, too. "...be more careful."
"..."
"..."
"do you usually get this close?" you murmur.
albedo freezes, "...i'm supervising." he tries.
you hum again, unconvinced. but you let it go.
it's another ordinary day at the lab.
and another day of you and albedo ignoring the elephant in the room, yet you insist there's absolutely nothing there.
"you organized the shelf wrong," albedo huffs, sketching a flower in his clipboard.
"wrong according to you," you snap back, but there's no bite to it.
"it's inefficient."
"it's boring," you groan, lazily slumping down on one of the empty work stations.
"you're standing too close to the reagents, again."
"and you've been standing too close to me, lately." you bite back. standing up now to meet his eyes.
albedo freezes.
you tilt your head, grinning. "what. cat got your tongue, chief alchemist?" you challenge.
albedo sighs, "you're trying to provoke me again."
"for someone who almost had a breakdown over me getting injured, you're being very mean."
"...i don't see what that has to do with this conversation," albedo doesn't deny.
"doesn't change the fact you've been hovering over me lately." you shrug.
"i'm simply supervising you after you've been injured."
"hovering."
"monitoring." albedo clarifies.
"...hoveringgg~" you push.
"oh, you totally want to kiss me, do you? you sooo doβ"
albedo really looks at you.
"strictly hypothetically," he says, he holds your gaze this time and doesn't look away.
"what if i do want to kiss you?"
you freeze.
"..oh." you say, brilliantly.
then, "uh.."
and, "..um."
you swear you catch a small smirk forming on albedo's lips; clearly satisfied and smug.
"quiet now, are we?" he hums.
"...shut up." you mutter, heat rushing to your cheeks.
"you started it." albedo shrugs, still smug and all.
"...i didn't think you'dβ"
"do you object?" albedo asks, already striding over to you across the laboratory.
"...ask better questions," you huff, as your arms find home on his shoulders,
that's all he needs before he leans in.
the kiss starts soft at first, careful, before his hands find your waist to hold you steady, you pull him closer.
he groans softly into the kissβa sound you've never heard from himβyou let out a small gasp as you feel him trap your body between the table and his body, his thumb drawing circles around your waist.
you barely break apart, breaths mingling. "this is.. very unprofessional." albedo mutters huskily against your lips, voice low, before closing the distance again.
you laugh softly against the kiss, your chest now pressing against his, "you're telling me, kreideprinz?"
his lips chases yours when you pull away to talk, "come here.." he kisses you once more, intentional, deliberate.
you only break apart because you have to breathe.
the laboratory is silent; except for the sound of the fire from the lit torches and albedo's glove sliding against the table to steady himself.
albedo clears his throat, his hands still on your waist as if it hand its own minds, "..you're still injured." he says, "..and we're in the laboratory."
you raise a brow, amused. "you're the one who kissed me first, twice."
"...thrice," albedo corrects.
you let out an amused huff, before he places a fleeting kiss on your temple and quietly goes to his workstation; only to adjust a beaker that doesn't need adjusting.
"we should.. get back to work." albedo hums, trying to sound normal.
you hum, looking at him fondly. "right, professionals and all." you tease.
"...however, we should.. revisit this conversation once you're fully healed." albedo replies.
you smirk, "is that an order, chief alchemist?"
a small smile reaches albedo's face. "it's a request, deputy alchemist."
this is not good, albedo from a few months back would think,
this crosses beyond professional boundaries.
albedo kreideprinz was not created and brought in this world to love, not ever, not now.
yet when he looks at youβhis deputy alchemistβsimply working in the lab, snowfall kissing the ends of your hair, how the gentle howling of dragonspine blows past your shoulders as if it has learned your name.
this is inefficient, he would think. feelings should never get in the way of his laboratory workβ
yet when your eyes meet his with tiny snowflakes fluttering in your lashes,
he realizes that if loving you is the most humane thing he has ever done, then so be it.
if this is a flaw in his design, then it is one that he will not correct.
"albedo?"
"yes, beloved?"
"...do you think i can add glitter on your notes now?"
"...i will have to think about that,"
...
durin's tail twitches as he watches both you and albedo clean up the laboratory after another long, productive session for today.
"albedo?" durin calls out, fiddling with his fingers.
"yes, durin?" albedo hums kindly.
"...do colleagues kiss eachother?" he asks, genuinely curious and lost. you and albedo both freeze, stomachs dropping.
"no...why wouldβwhy would you ask that. durin?" albedo replies, trying to sound as calm as possible.
durin shrugs, "i saw you give the deputy alchemist a kiss on the forehead when you left the laboratory the other day, is this... normal in colleague relationships?" he says, completely serious.
NOTE: i lowk want to do some angst BUT this is hashtag comedy hashtag romantic so ig no πΉ next ch. is written and I haven't advanced a thing so apologies in advance (if i show up and i get way to loud) if i take some time w da next update ALSO i got a kinich smau ideaπ that kinich x reader tag is dead asf
NOTE: i lowk want to do some angst BUT this is hashtag comedy hashtag romantic so ig no πΉ next ch. is written and I haven't advanced a thing so apologies in advance (if i show up and i get way to loud) if i take some time w da next update ALSO i got a kinich smau ideaπ that kinich x reader tag is dead asf
