Is it raining yet?

Im in my own head 24/7 and it's become a problem She/her

[purelikemud]

Welcome to my poetry blog!

Share your opinions with me, conversation leads to growth! I'd love to hear your thoughts on whatever topic, I dont bite.

I don’t know why you'd come here to be a bigot but...those who do will be blocked.

Live fully!

[purelikemud]

Fountain

Light hits a fountain with carved cherubs surrounding the bowl,

Their stone exteriors are dark and unwashed

Bathed in light, water falls like gold.

I wish I had brought my camera but then again I don't.

This golden light and I can let a moment pass.

[purelikemud]

Alone again

My dog is a scruffy little thing with cataracts and wispy fur.

A rock, a wallpaper.

When I cry he soaks up tears with unblinking eyes.

I know that something with a beating heart hears me

And it's enough.

When he shakes it’s an earthquake.

His head buried in his arms, whimpering,

I feel time burning away.

When he’s buried I’ll be stranded out at sea

Salty water with nowhere to go.

[purelikemud]

Summer Silence

Junebugs singing in corners I cant see

The sun is down but it feels like she never left

Rolling beads of sweat down my back.

Your skin sticks to mine

Too much of it showing.

There is no quiet in the summer

The air holds chirping and heavy breaths.

And there is no clean

All this touching will keep me dirty until September.

[purelikemud]

My child

A small heartbeat between my hands

I only knew it for a minute.

Those seconds were filled with fear gripping at the ridges in my heart,

Love, to see you draw heat from my fingers and settle.

I had not blinked and you were taken

And your little face was gone, your soft sounds and how you cried,

That screaming cry

I miss it.

I cup my hands and I still feel you between them.

For only a few moments, your pulse.

[purelikemud]

In circles

A circle has no end

I've traced over the same lines a thousand times

It's heavy work, returning to the same arch and having to push past it.

I think some distance would be good

Anything new

But still I sit beside her

(I won't say “you”

It implies that she's all I have.)

I trace my lines and I push past them.

[purelikemud]

Life could be worse

I imagine that I am beautiful and thin

And when I cry I'm held by strong hands

And a million voices tell me that my tears are gorgeous and I should never have to suffer.

I imagine that when im alone I don't dream of another life

And that I'm in love with the world in a new way.

Because how I love the world is rough and tight

I'd like to try loving it tenderly

How beautiful girls with hands and voices to hold them do.

It is nice to dream

[purelikemud]

Things I need to hear

I haven't smoked too much and my lungs aren't the color of charcoal,

I'll confront her next time

Not wearing my retainers won't ruin my life

I'll open the book tomorrow

Nobody thinks im dull besides me

Getting fat is chic

I'm going to score higher than I thought

I won't burn

My grandmother will tell me that everything's okay

Im in love with everything

Everything will be squished into someone and neither of us will want to leave

God won't get jealous

It's going to rain tomorrow

[purelikemud]

Wind

The wind takes shape in rippling water

And in the parting between clouds,

And bending stalks of grass.

When she's left they all return to their slow drifting.

I wish the wind could take shape without disturbing the earth

And I think she'd like that independence, too.

[purelikemud]

Something to block the wind

I was feeling the skin of my lips and I noticed

That when I wet them it isnt moisture I'm feeling

Its air biting harder than usual.

So I guess I'm saying that when they feel empty

It's not warmth they're chasing

(Because they don’t really feel that at all)

But the cold they want to escape.

[purelikemud]

I’m not sure that I love you

How strange it is, to see you in two places at once

You're my pest, my pity

And my savior, all the same

You're my backup and my first choice

I'd give my life to you and resent it thoroughly

I hate you. I'm blinded by love for you,

Isn't it fun to be like this?

You're such a bore, you'd never agree.

[purelikemud]

I think im restless

I don’t know myself but I think

I'll grow bored of love no matter how much I refuse it now.

Because I might just love the place in my mind that is you. And the marvel in front of me is predictable.

I'll grow bored of my job, maybe I can make enough money

So that I can disappear

And live on the coast or in the woods.

Does it matter? Somewhere that I barely recognize.

I don't know myself enough to tell

But I think I'd like that.

Maybe I would paint and write

Until I got bored of that again

Then I might live in venice

And after that I’d stare at the bottom of a river

And wait until boredom turned to death.

[purelikemud]

Fed up

The space between our hands is awfully tired of being empty,

You could put it out of its misery

And the one between our lips feels the same

Haven't you had enough of their suffering?

My friends all know your name

Don't you think they're sick of those three syllables?

Your gaze makes my lungs burn

From the gasps I let out.

If I had enough of you, they might get a break

I know you've always been kind

So have a little mercy and let me be yours

[purelikemud]

Strangers

I learned that bodies are puppets to the brain at a young age,

How feeling isn't really feeling at all.

Just a nerve connected to a chain connected to a thought

And I think it all changed then.

How the first few drops of rain that kiss my face are looking

Through the shell that is me

And I'm looking through it too.

When I touch the earth

She greets her vessel that was made for return,

With someone foreign watching over.

I feel my own arms and they are like strangers,

Home is my mind, my self.

How odd it is to live with two.

[crmsnmth]

Dirty Venue

The bathroom mirror is tagged with names of people who survived something or didn’t I check my face like contraband before stepping back into the noise

The band counts in like a threat four beats to forget why I came alone why the floor sticks to my shoes like it knows my secrets

I drink because it gives my hands a job because the bottle doesn’t ask questions because swallowing is easier than saying your name over guitars that sound like broken teeth

Everyone here is screaming together which somehow makes it worse Couples slam into each other like weather friends lift each other up and I lean into the bar like it might learn my weight by heart

The beer is warm and honest it tastes like metal and resignation I keep buying time in small bitter does each sip another way of saying I’m fine without convincing anyone

The singer shouts about burning it down I nod like I’ve already tried that there’s a bruise blooming on my arm from someone else’s joy and I let it stay Proof I was here Proof something touched me

When the lights cut out the crowd roars like they’re forgiven I finish my drink in the dark alone with the echo alone with the version of myself that still comes to places like this hoping the noise will finish the job

Outside the night smells like rain and cigarettes My ears ring with a silence I paid for

[purelikemud]

Dirty water

I'm covered in your handprints and I think I'd rather cut them off

Than let myself enjoy how they feel.

There's only one place we can go and it's far down

Where whats wrong doesnt feel it anymore

And I'm so deep in the water that I forget air.

In some other life I would've loved to drown in it with you,

Now I only fear how it fills my nose and mouth

And wonder whether someone dripping is still loved by God.

[purelikemud]

'Everything is Eat' stopped me dead in my tracks that is such a raw magnifying glass on desperation

aaa thank you so much :) sry i didnt get around to this sooner, im sooo happy you picked up on what I was trying to convey through the poem !