I am the A-L / E-X / A-N / D

Alone, with limited wit ...and the Worst Lines in Pundom! • 30 • he/him/his • queer • cis • Jew of Halabi & varied Ashkenazi origins • musical omnivore • GIF enthusiast • recovering Broken Social Scene thot • assorted geekery • usually of the comics, theatre, literary or music varieties • middle eight guest raps on r&b tracks are very important to me

[iaiamothrafhtagn]

“why do you reread the silmarillion, tara, isn’t it dry?”

because, my good bitch, 90% of the lord of the rings is food and tom bombadil and 90% of the hobbit is dwarf names and the other 10% of them, well, you know. they made a good three movies about that part of the former and a bad three movies about that part of the latter. 

90% of the silmarillion is elves committing War Crimes and seething about how they can’t fuck their cousin and the other 10% is one half The Greatest Hetero Love Story Ever No Really Fuck Off and one half That Time A Man Really Did Fuck His Sister, written in that way where someone really wants you to know that if he translated beowulf into english it’d read like this too.

what i’m saying is that objectively speaking it’s fucking unhinged and feral and the fact that both the hobbit and the lord of the rings are functionally expansions of what would just be paragraphs in its coda, comparatively, just gets more hilarious to me the older i get. it’s not like they don’t all have the same problems inherent to their setting, after all, and i dismiss the rest by comparison mostly in jest - but give me the one that’s literally The Epic Of Bad Decisions Because If They Made Good Decisions They Wouldn’t Be Fun To Write Down, any day.

also the swords. i love me a cool sword with a fucked-up and bloody story behind Why It’s Got That Name and Why It Looks Like That and the damn if the silmarillion doesn’t have itself a fistful.

anyway. that’s why, hypothetical question-haver.

[cupidsbower]

“dancer #2”

The receipts:

Sorry for the bad quality, I haven’t been able to find a good stream yet.

[purplechrain]

now that I’m back on tumblr I should probably scroll through my followers and see who if anyone is still active etc. huh?

[purplechrain]

it’s weird seeing how many of our tumblrs all just suddenly stopped in 2016. but now that tumblr has totally collapsed it seems to be way more relaxing than Twitter and a few people are still around. hm.

[purplechrain]

now that I’m back on tumblr I should probably scroll through my followers and see who if anyone is still active etc. huh?

[reconcicle]

there are five frogs staring at me right now

[adambloghart]

but only one can be america’s next top model

[communistbussy]

[the-mayor-of-space]

so at a used book store a couple months back i found an annotated copy of dracula, and now that dracula daily is a thing, i’ve finally gotten around to reading it.

they have the fuckign. chicken paprika recipe that knocked out our boy johnny.

now you too can upset your mild-mannered stomach so badly that you have fever dreams of a sexy haunted castle

[purplechrain]

I can’t decide if I’m more charmed by the fact that Jonathan’s girlfriend shares his intense bisexual energy in her letters to her friend Lucy, or by her aspirations to learn shorthand in order to become an intrepid “lady journalist”.

[purplechrain]

Seriously, though:

“It must be so nice to see strange countries. I wonder if we - I mean Jonathan and I - shall ever see them together.”

“It’s important for me to clarify that by ‘we’ I meant Jonathan and I and not you and I because I definitely am not idly daydreaming about going on a romantic trip through Europe with you, nor do I have similar feelings towards you as I do towards my fiancé Jonathan and I’m definitely not being overly defensive about how I’m about as gay for you as Jonathan might be for Dracula.”

“But if you wanted to go on a girls’ trip together, that might be nice too.”

“Your loving (but not in a way where you should read too much into this let’s just gossip about our boyfriends together I promise it’s a totally innocuous type of loving) Mina.”

[purplechrain]

I can’t decide if I’m more charmed by the fact that Jonathan’s girlfriend shares his intense bisexual energy in her letters to her friend Lucy, or by her aspirations to learn shorthand in order to become an intrepid “lady journalist”.

[bananacreamphi]

I finally looked up shorthand because of Dracula daily and what the FUCK

HOW DOES MINA READ THIS???? IT’S SO COMPLICATED

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

To those who don’t have a physical copy of the book: We just jumped from chapter 3 to chapter 5.

So the hilarious juxtaposition of Jonathan having an insomnia induced panic attack and Mina thinking “He’s doing great. He’ll be home in a week :)” one day apart is a product of the new email format.

[atundratoadstool]

I just want everyone new to Dracula and reading Dracula Daily to note that you are getting to read this novel in a weird and wonderful way that its author absolutely did not intend. This is not a straight serialization of the text. Dates skip around in Dracula as it is written, moving the reader backwards and forwards in time to help shape the specific narrative Bram Stoker wanted to tell. We all will–in fact–be skipping ahead some chapters in a few days to meet another narrator only to skip immediately back to catch up with our collective friend Jonathan Harker.

And I think this is rad! I think it’s amazing to have a bunch of readers who are reading this book–not as Bram Stoker wrote it–but in a way that conforms to the steady march of events within it. This is a unique opportunity in that you guys don’t get to shape your reactions in relation to things you know will happen later. You can’t have your dread or anticipation undercut by future events.

Like all the characters you’re going to meet, you just have to wait for Dracula to act upon you.

[andromeda3116]

all right so here's the schedule of when dracula daily will be updated, as gleaned from the archives

please share this, it was a pain in the ass

[purplechrain]

Tumblr is going to lose its entire collective mind during the weeks of silence in June and July

[purplechrain]

apparently I re downloaded tumblr to my phone and logged back in for the first time in years because the impending Musking of Twitter and Dracula Daily memes made me realize that Tumblr is where all the frivolity has gone

[origami-trust]

I realized something important:

[purplechrain]

Kieron Gillen: The sort of writer who seeds an idea in an apparently throw-away Goth gag in Issue #2, drops an ominous and oblique callback in the back-up story to Issue #16, and then after a feint in Issue #26, hits you with a gutpunch of feelings and regret and doom in Issue #30. And technically speaking, nothing awful has happened yet and this is all elegantly cruel (or cruelly elegant) foreshadowing.

I can’t believe that, at the end of Issue #29, I was 99%. certain that Dio sitting in the dark and caring about Baphomet meant that Dio’s Morrigan-induced predictive photography augured a Bad End for Baphomet at her hands. This is so much worse, and thus, the only natural path for the story to take.

[purplechrain]

Fuck me. I forgot that I had initially apparently correctly suspected Dio’s Morrigan-induced predictive photography augured bad things for Baph but (incorrectly) at her hands and then let myself successfully get misdirected by Kieron’s sleight-of-hand with Cass from the mouths of Woden and Baph.

I mean, I guess I should have trusted my instincts like I did about Cass being the 12th. But still.

[purplechrain]

here's the other thing that makes dio loving baph obvious in retrospect to me that ive never seen anyone note: his reactions to baph maybe being a murderer in #15 and his first email.

Oh gods I forgot about the first email because it’s buried in the back of the trades.

[purplechrain]

Possibly Obvious In Hindsight Theory:

Kieron was using Woden and Nergal’s suggestions that Dio was in love with Cass (and Dio’s vaguely phrased comments about romantic feelings for someone taken who wasn’t interested in men) to misdirect us into worrying about Cassandra ending up in the hospital bed without any of us realizing that a pale person with short dark hair in a hospital bed could also be Baph/Nergal/Cameron - the person Dio cares enough about to get distracted from conversation with Cass and worries enough about to *abandon the hive mind disco* at Amaterasu’s party - which he has never done before or since except briefly to recharge - and who he sat in the dark for hours to see while Morrigan cycled through her personae to Gentle Annie. Even knowing Dio is asexual, when it’s revealed that he’s not aromantic, we’re still all conditioned to presume that he’s het unless explicitly told otherwise which makes it easy to have us worry about Cass and not consider the danger to Baph until it’s too late. This is brilliant and tragic and we have a second queer male romance ship in the main cast now.