My realm

[purplecleo]

Looks like my subconscious and paraconscious mind is more conscious than the conscious mind! 🙄

[purplecleo]

And again, the story ends before even getting started.

[purplecleo]

I don't know what "crushing" over someone means. Because I will not dare to call it a crush. What I felt was true, it came out from my mouth, my stomach desperate to hear his voice rather than have some food. I starved for 4 days straight. I never felt hunger, or thirst. I wanted to spend every minute of mine with him. And I did everything to make him stay. But, he left. He left, and he left me with scars that I can't mend. As if all my emotions went in search of him. My mind has got some new address, I don't know where. My heart jumps a beat when i see his picture. My forehead sweats thinking about girls he loved, liked or crushed. My soul weeps, for what sin have I done to gift me this unrequited love. He is not going to look back at me. I know.

And I know, if he doesn't come back, I will be lost.

Forever.

[purplecleo]

Rachel said exactly what i mean to say to my crush. Fucking!

[purplecleo]

Took a long time to heal. Took a long time to go back. Took a long time to think upon. Took a long time to finally cry. Took a long time to finally feel the loss. Took a long time to acknowledge that i miss you real hard. Took a long time to make me feel better. Took a long time to say that it's alright. Took a long time to stop taking time. Took a long time to post. 9 years... Wasn't that long of a time i guess. Just like papercuts, real fast and smooth. But damn, the pain. Achan will always be the closest word of my heart. "For fish what the water is For a daughter that the father is" 🌈🎁🧚🧑‍🍼👪🎀 (at Pradan) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ2SdmghPVFyhgvXCG_bOlJvFv5YG57awqXI940/?utm_medium=tumblr

[purplecleo]

What it feels like to be high on your defeats. Out of words! Peace ✌️ #high #siblingtime❤️ #bff #dogpartner #highonlife #turning26 #fomo (at Pradan) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZUGqGWFOmeQlcPP-asRr7CyDIaA7qM3i61nog0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[purplecleo]

And then, i will go back to my books and boo.

I was happy, as if i were in a daydream.

Dancing, singling, wobbling, running around as if i were 10.

And all of a sudden, i felt the empty, tired, lonely me.

The inertia to stay at the moment has always costed me the unsolicited anxiety.

Where's the cloud? Where's the lightning?

Come again, not too soon. 🧿

But come again, before it gets too late. 🧶

[purplecleo]

Sometimes love gives me a mirage of myself in the dreary sandhearts of desperacy, that i mistook it for.

Now, once again, my hump is filled with charred thoughts of self doubt mocktailed with anxiety and mood swings.

Where's the rainbow?

Where's the oasis?