this week just played in my face anyway ill try to get something posted this week, also if you guys have any requests i would be happy to fulfill 🫰🫰
Su-ho-ya. I’m sorry I forgot everything you taught me. How great it is to have friends. How nice it is to laugh. What you did for me, I want to try doing that for others.
summary: you and sieun weren’t really childhood friends. your mothers were friends, and naturally, you were forced to play together. after his parents’ divorce and your family moving to the states, you never saw each other again, which didn’t really bother you. you and sieun reunite when you move back to south korea, and you think to yourself, when did you get hot?
warning(s): reader has mommy issues, 18+, MDNI, explicit content, smut, female masturbation, fingering, virgin!reader, virgin!sieun, mentions of multiple sex acts, mentions of protected sex, soft dom!sieun, neighbours to fuckbuddies to lovers
author’s notes: all characters are aged up to 18+. this takes place post-whc2. divider is made by the talented @saradika-graphics! fair warning, i didn't take physics for my a-levels, so i have no idea if what they're studying is accurate.
You were six years old when you met Yeon Sieun for the first time. Your mother and his mother had been friends in college, and they recently reconnected after your family moved into his neighbourhood. Naturally, they arranged playdates for you and him. You didn’t mind since he wasn’t loud and annoying like the other boys in school who pulled on your pigtails. He was content with your idea of fun: studying and, at most, reading books together.
When you were eleven years old, his parents divorced, and Sieun moved out to live with his father in another part of Seoul. Meanwhile, your father announced that he had received a promotion and that you would be moving to the United States.
There was no dramatic farewell scene. No promises of reaching out to each other. After all, to each other, you and Sieun were just the children of your mother’s friend.
Seven years later, you were moving back to Seoul for your senior year of high school. Your parents had enrolled you in Buil Girls’ High School.
“Honey, you remember Aunt Hyejin, right?” Your mother eagerly told you. “It turns out we’re going to be living right next door to her and her son. You used to play with him all the time.”
“Because we were the only kids there.” You thought. Clearly, your mother still favoured Yeon Sieun.
“I heard he’s ranked first in his school. You should ask him to tutor you.”
You tried to refute her, “My grades are fine.”
“She got that award back in New York.” Your father chipped in.
“The standards are different here in Seoul.” She argued back. “She could always do better.”
You didn’t try to defend yourself. It was always like this with her. When other parents would praise their kids for scoring over 90%, your mother asked why you didn’t get the rest of the questions right. Maybe that was why you weren’t keen on being friends with Yeon Sieun. You didn’t like how easily he received her praise when you had to fight for it.
Later that night, you found yourself looking at a framed photo of you and Sieun. You were both only eight years old at the time, and your mothers practically forced you to pose together. Both of you had permanent scowls on, and you faintly remembered your mother scolding you afterwards for your rude behaviour.
Looking back, you admitted that Sieun was a cute kid. If he didn’t have such an antisocial personality, the neighbourhood aunties would have adored him. You were faintly reminded of your younger brother who was nine years younger than you, although he certainly wasn’t as studious as your childhood playmate.
You admitted the made-up rivalry was rather one-sided, but you were just a kid back then. It was just easier to think of him as the enemy rather than admitting that your mother didn’t see your worth.
You shook your head. There was no use lamenting over your childhood rival. You have matured since then. Well, at least you hoped so.
You put the framed photo down and flopped down on your bed. There were still a couple of boxes left unpacked, but you will get to them later. You had more important business to do.
You pulled out your phone and logged into your Tumblr account through the app. You scrolled through your For You page, where various fanfics of your favourite idols and drama characters filled the screen. You clicked on a Yeonjun fic that piqued your interest.
trope: childhood friends to lovers
warning(s): 18+, explicit content, oral sex…
The list of kinks went on as you blushed at how extreme they became, even though you had encountered all kinds of fanfics on Tumblr. One might say that most of your sexual knowledge came from the app, even though you were a virgin who hadn’t even seen a cock outside of porn. However, it didn’t mean you weren’t curious about sex. You just didn’t have the chance to explore when most of your time was dedicated towards your academics and extracurricular activities.
As you read about Yeonjun fingering the reader, you slipped your hand underneath your pants and started slowly mimicking his actions. You played with your clit for a few moments before finally pushing a finger inside yourself when you felt a familiar slick lubricating your vaginal walls. As the reader was reaching her climax, you felt yourself nearly achieving the same peak, and you were going to insert another finger to finish the deal when suddenly, you heard rapid raps against your bedroom door.
“___! Hurry and get ready!” Your mother knocked a few more times. “Aunt Hyejin invited us to dinner in thirty minutes.”
“Why is your door always locked?” You heard her mutter as she walked away to inform your little brother.
You let out a heavy, unsatisfied groan. You pulled your hand out from your pants, the once euphoric sensation long gone by your mother’s squawking. You really couldn’t wait until you were in college and living on your own, where you didn’t have to worry about nosy family members ruining your orgasms.
You stripped off your shirt and shorts, and even changed your underwear as they were sticky and clinging to your core. You changed into a sensible dress that reached down to your knees. You quickly got your makeup done, opting for a simple look so that you didn’t look like a raccoon with your dark circles.
Like always, you and family were early as your mother insisted on departing early despite living next door to Aunt Hyejin. Sieun’s mother didn’t seem to mind as she warmly greeted you.
“You’ve really grown up, ___!” She marvelled at the sight of you. “It feels just like yesterday, you and Sieun were playing on the swings.”
“I’m sure Sieun has grown up, too!” Your mother chuckled. “Where is your son, by the way?”
“He was hanging out with his friends, but he should be home anytime soon.”
Your parents started chatting with Aunt Hyejin about your childhood while you retreated to the living room with your brother.
“Noona, who’s Sieun?” He asked while you were helping him beat a particularly difficult level of Super Mario Party. You suddenly remembered that he was only two years old when you moved to the US, and probably didn’t have many memories of Seoul, much less Yeon Sieun.
“He’s Aunt Hyejin’s son. He and I used to play together.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“Absolutely not.” You immediately answered. The last time you saw Sieun, he was thin with wobbly knees. He looked like a breeze could blow him over. Man, he was a total nerd.
“Eomma, I’m home.” You heard a deep voice call out.
“Sieun-ah, welcome home!” His mother greeted him, blocking your view of him from the couch. “You remember Aunt Minsook, right? ___’s here, too!”
She moved out of the way, and your brain promptly stopped working when you first saw Yeon Sieun in seven years.
He was no longer the gangly kid you remembered him as. While he wasn’t tall, he was still a few inches taller than you. His skin was a light tan, not the smooth alabaster desired by society, but it suited him. He didn’t look as pale and sickly as he used to. He was as handsome as any idol, with a flawless complexion and a sharp jawline people would kill for. His lips, although slightly chapped, were plump and, for a second, you imagined what they would feel like trailing every inch of your body.
Only a single thought ran through your mind.
“Yeon Sieun, when did you get hot?”
You never really understood why the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope was so popular. Kids never hide anything from each other, including their gross and embarrassing habits. You shuddered at the idea of falling for one of the neighbourhood boys who used to eat their boogers.
Granted, Sieun never did any of that stuff, but still.
After you got over your brain fart, you stammered out a mumbled greeting while hiding behind a curtain of hair, trying to hide your flushed face.
It was ridiculous. It wasn’t like this was the first time you ever saw a handsome boy face-to-face.
Well, you’ve never actually faced someone with idol-like visuals, but still. You were more mature than this. More evolved than this. Yes, Yeon Sieun was a very attractive man, but he is still a man.
So why haven’t you been able to meet his eyes when he was conveniently sitting across from you at dinner? Why couldn’t you let out anything more than a mousey squeak when he asked you to pass the potatoes?
Your mother looked at you, disapproving of your quiet demeanour. She cleared her throat before asking Sieun a question.
“Sieun-ah, I’ve heard that you’re the top student of your school. Is that right?”
He didn’t answer her verbally, only gave her a brief but confident nod.
She turned to Sieun’s mother. “You must be very proud. I wish my daughter studied as much as he does. She has a lot of potential, but she always squanders it.”
You were then hit with a harsh reminder of why you disliked Sieun so much. Your mother used to compare the two of you, and you hated the fact that you could never measure up to his prodigal levels. You used to think that your mother would trade you for Sieun in a heartbeat if she ever got the chance.
Any attraction you had to him was stomped down until not even a single ember remained.
“Mom, I was first in my year,” You mumbled, wanting to speak up even though you knew your struggles often weren’t heard by selective ears.
Your mother let out a heavy sigh, a pointedly annoyed expression on her face. “What was that? How many times do I have to tell you to speak up? You know my hearing is not as good as it used to be.”
Your father looked like he wanted to speak up for you, but you already knew he wouldn’t. She was too domineering. Anything you would say would just be labelled as unimportant.
Sieun’s mother must have noticed the awkward atmosphere as she quickly cut in to defuse the tension. “I’m pretty sure ___ has her own talents too. Your father told me you were thinking of applying to law school?”
You quickly answered her, anything to get out of the chilling environment. “Yes, I have always been more interested in humanities.”
“Have you thought of which schools you’re going to apply to?”
“Yonsei,” You smiled at her. “I want to study Criminal Law.”
“What a coincidence!” She smiled at her son, patting him on the shoulder. “Sieun’s planning to study Physics at Yonsei.”
Your smile faltered slightly at the prospect of being stuck with Yeon Sieun throughout your college life. You hid it quickly, but you had the feeling Sieun noticed you.
“Physics, huh?” You finally looked him in the eye. “You must be really good at it. I never really liked it.”
That was an understatement. You abhorred the subject as it didn’t click naturally with you. Potential force? Gravity? Magnetic fields? The only reason you studied it so much was so you could scrape a B, the highest grade you achieved in the damn science.
Sieun gave a short answer. “It’s not so bad.”
And with that flash of dislike came a wave of guilt. It was hard to dislike someone who didn’t really do anything to deserve it. Sure, he wasn’t the most social person, but he wasn’t a bad guy.
The emotions you experienced about Yeon Sieun were dramatic and complex, and you really didn’t need to add lust and teenage hormones on top of all that.
“If you’re not so bad at it, I would hate to think what it’s like for ___.” Your mother probably meant that as a joke, and you smiled even though you didn’t find anything funny about it.
Unbeknownst to you, Sieun noticed how uncomfortable you were. He was more observant than you thought he was. He had always known that even though your relationship with your mother was vastly different from his relationship with his mother, there was still that same distance.
Suddenly, your mother clapped her hands. She had a smile on her face that usually meant that something troublesome was coming.
“Sieun-ah, why don’t you tutor ___?” She requested, and you felt like a little kid all over again. “It’ll be just like when you were kids!”
“Mom, he doesn’t need to do that-”
“I know that, but you need his help,” She told you as if you were being stupid for not considering Sieun as a tutor. She sent apologetic looks towards him and his mother. “She’s always like this. She never thinks about her future.”
With every word, she made you feel smaller, as if your own efforts were never going to be enough for her. You bit your lip, wanting to say more, but you knew that when it came to her, you were on your own. Your brother was too young to understand your plight, and as much as you loved your father, you knew he would never stand up to her.
“I’m okay with tutoring her, but I think you should ask your daughter first,” He interrupted your mother, and you finally looked up from your lap to see him. You didn’t even notice that your mother was silenced. “After all, ___ knows her own capabilities better than anyone else.”
How did Sieun know the simple words you always wanted to say?
Your mother shook off her stunned silence after a moment, awkwardly chuckling, “O-of course. ___, do you want Sieun to tutor you?”
As much as you wanted to defy his help, to finally prove to her that you were more than enough, you also knew you needed top grades to get into Yonsei, and a B in physics wasn’t going to cut it.
Even though you didn’t want to, you needed Sieun.
“I would appreciate it,” You smiled at him, the first sign you showed of acknowledging him. “Thank you, Sieun.”
At that moment, you weren’t aware that you and he would flip each other’s worlds upside down.
Despite transferring into Buil relatively late compared to the other students, you adapted quickly, finding friends with a couple of girls, Hari and Youngseo. Although you were distinctly different from them, preferring to spend most of your free time studying and revising for the suneung, you found that they didn’t mind that. They often would try to get you to join them whenever they went cafe hopping, and today was one of those days.
“Come on, ___!” Hari laughed, linking arms with you while Youngseo took your other arm. “You know what they say. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. You deserve to have some fun!”
“I have to meet my tutor later!” You protested.
“Yeah, in two hours,” Youngseo argued. “Eating cake and drinking lattes doesn’t make you incapable of absorbing information.”
You couldn’t tell them that you wanted to revise physics just so you didn’t appear as a complete dolt in front of Yeon Sieun. You weren’t dumb; it’s just that physics wasn’t your strongest subject compared to biology, which you excelled at.
Your insecurity had always been high, especially when your mother compared you to every child genius and prodigy out there, always saying that you could achieve those same things if you just applied yourself. Yeon Sieun was a major source of your insecurities since he was the first genius she compared you to. You knew that it wasn’t his fault, but seeing him every day when you walk to school just made all of your hidden insecurities bubble up again.
It was extremely hard to hate him since he was the one who defended you just a few nights ago.
Yeon Sieun should have been an asshole. At least, you wouldn’t feel guilty about resenting him.
You shook your head, trying to get him out of your head.
“Girl, are you okay?” Hari asked, concerned about you.
“I’m okay,” You then grinned, pulling them along to the cafe. “Let’s eat some delicious food! I’m going to get matcha!”
“Again?” Youngseo groaned. “You might as well be drinking grass!”
“Matcha is NOT grass-” You argued back, but Youngseo, who was the one who wanted to go to the cafe, suddenly pulled you and Hari away from the entrance.
“Shit,” She looked back into the cafe before groaning. “Why is he here?”
You and Hari joined in, looking through the window. There was a group of boys in uniforms from another school you didn’t recognise. One of the taller boys was wearing a red basketball jersey under his blazer.
Hari suddenly guffawed, prompting Youngseo to tell her to shut up.
“Who is he?” You asked them.
Youngseo sharply replied, “He’s nobody.”
“That’s Baku. He’s the top dog of Eunjang,” Hari explained before grinning. “He’s also Youngseo’s ex.”
“We never dated!” Youngseo denied her. “We just …used to hook up, until he got too involved with the Union.”
You tilted your head, this being the first time you ever heard of it. “The Union?”
“They were like this high school mafia group, but they sort of dissolved last year,” Hari punched Youngseo’s shoulder lightly. “Yah, you guys were good together. Why not give him another chance?”
“Absolutely no fucking way. I don’t want any mafia drama this year,” Youngseo looked like she would rather go to hell than give her and Baku’s relationship another chance. “Come on, let’s bounce. This isn’t the only cafe in the area.”
“Just so you won’t bump into your ex?”
“You would be saying the same thing if your ex was in there.”
In the midst of Hari and Youngseo’s bickering, one of the taller boys stepped aside, and lo and behold, Yeon Sieun was with them, and suddenly, you were inclined with Youngseo’s suggestion.
“I agree with you,” You said to Youngseo. “Let’s go.”
“What’s with the two of you?” Hari followed your gaze, seeing Sieun. “Yeon Sieun? Do you know him?”
“Our mothers were friends,” You explained briefly. “How do you know him?”
“Rumors say he was the mastermind behind the Union’s downfall. They call him the White Mamba.”
“Who cares what people call them!” Youngseo snapped. “Let’s just get out-”
“YOUNGSEO!”
She froze at hearing that loud, booming voice, before the three of you turned around to see the aforementioned Baku excitedly waving at her. You avoided Sieun’s stare as the other people in the cafe were startled by Baku’s sudden bellow.
“Yah, Youngseo! Come over here!” Baku clearly didn’t care about how loud he was, even when the other tall boy next to him told him to shut up. “What are you doing here?”
Hari snorted, “You know he’s not going to let up until you go over there.”
“Oh, fuck me.” Youngseo groaned.
You jokingly quipped, “No, thank you, but I think he would like to volunteer himself.”
She glared at you half-heartedly before the three of you marched over to the four boys sitting at a booth near the window. Baku pushed the tall boy sitting next to him, making space for Youngseo. Somehow, you were sitting right across from Sieun, and you found his gaze harder to avoid. Ever since you were little, even when you found his doe eyes to be unfairly beautiful, they were also intimidating in their own way. His gaze always made you feel like he knew every little nook and cranny of yourself.
“Hari-yah, it’s good to see you,” Baku bumped fists with her before directing his eyes at you. “I see you have a new friend. I’m Baku, and that’s Gotak, Juntae, and Sieun. Nice to meet you!”
You shyly nodded, offering a small smile to each and every one of them. “I’m ___.”
However, you froze when Sieun held his gaze at you, not bothering to spare a glance at Hari and Youngseo.
Luckily, Hyuntak noticed your discomfort, “The staring thing again? Come on, buddy, we talked about this…”
Only when Sieun stopped staring at you did you finally feel like you could breathe easily again. Even with how insecure he made you feel, you couldn’t help but think about how his unwavering stare turned you on.
The first few tutoring sessions between you and Sieun passed by quickly. You didn’t say much nor did he, just like how you used to when you were kids. You fell back in the comfortable rhythm of putting up a friendly act just so you and he could please your respective mothers.
Reluctantly, you had to admit that Yeon Sieun was a good tutor. He didn’t go easy on you, but he didn’t expect you to know the answer to every question. After all, why would you get tutored by him if you knew everything? Slowly, you saw your physics grade improving at a steady rate.
However, you ended up regretting being so comfortable with Sieun during your fifth tutoring session.
You were brushing up on high energy particle collisions when his laptop ran out of battery. Being a responsible student, you absentmindedly let him borrow yours, giving him your password, while you worked on a practice exam question.
“___, I think you forgot to close this?”
You looked up from your paper, and-
SHIT.
Right there, on your screen, full-brightness and misleading pastel colours, was your Tumblr page. It wasn’t even your SFW account you used to interact with your MOA moots. No, it was your very 18+, MDNI, blog you used to write your deepest, dirtiest and smuttiest fantasies about your biases and bias-wreckers.
You almost tripped over your bag when you ran up to him to slam your laptop shut.
“S-Sieun-ah, this is just a hobby,” you stammered, stumbling over your words. “It’s getting late, so I’m gonna go home now.”
You rushed out the door, face red and wanting to evaporate out of sheer embarrassment right then and there.
What do you do when your former one-sided rival and childhood friend stumbles onto your smut blog?
The answer is that you avoid him at every turn.
You weren't ashamed to admit to running away when you and your friends bumped into Sieun and the rest of the guys at the arcade.
“It’s okay. I don’t need to get tutored by him anymore. I’ve been getting the top spot in physics for weeks now,” You thought, reasoning with yourself when you were walking back home after you were done with cram school. “When I get to college, I won’t live next door to Yeon Sieun anymore.”
You swore when you saw Sieun outside his apartment, about to unlock the door with his keys. You put your hood on, trying to hide as much of your face as possible, and sprinted to your door, trying to unlock it as fast as you could.
“___,” You froze, key just outside the door lock, upon hearing his deep voice. “Can we talk?”
That was how you found yourself sitting next to Sieun on the couch in his living room.
“Where’s your mom?” You asked him, trying to break the tension. Now that you thought about it, she was rarely around. She placed too much faith in letting her teenage son be alone with a girl in her apartment.
“She’s on some business trip. She won’t be back until next week,” He answered casually, handing a mug of hot tea to you, which you gratefully accepted. “But we’re not here to talk about her.”
You awkwardly placed the mug on the coffee table, making sure a coaster was beneath it, knowing how particular his mother was with condensation stains.
“You’re …not going to tell my mom?”
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why would I do that? What you do in your spare time is none of my business. Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
You nodded slightly. “What was I supposed to do? The last time we really knew each other was when we were kids, and the stuff I wrote wasn’t really- well-”
“I know.”
“What do you mean, you know?”
“I saw your username and read some of your writings.” Your jaw dropped at his confession.
“Why the hell would you do that?” You asked him, gobsmacked. You couldn’t imagine Sieun willingly reading smut.
“You made a few grammar mistakes, but the plots were interesting,” Sieun then turned to look at you. There was something in his eyes, something you have never seen before, but heard of it described in the many works you have read before. “The last one you wrote. The male character… he sounds like me.”
You knew exactly which fic he was talking about. It was a Taehyun fic, where he and the reader were childhood friends who reunited years later. 10k+ words where roughly two-thirds of it was pure, unadulterated smut. You practically wrote it overnight. Despite how easy it was to write it, it was your most successful fic. Taehyun’s characterisation in your fic was most definitely based on Sieun, but you weren’t going to admit that.
“No, he’s not,” You immediately denied his allegation. “The childhood friends-to-lovers trope is very common. I’m pretty sure half of all K-dramas have some variation of this trope.”
“You wrote about the time where I accidentally pushed you too far off the swings.”
“Coincidence.”
“You wrote that she used to hate him because her mother always praised him over her.”
Somehow, Sieun had gotten close to you, and you were a breath away from him. If it were any other guy, you would have shoved them away, but this was Sieun. The little boy who read books with you because you both preferred silence. The same boy who had grown into the young and very attractive man in front of you.
“I …did write that.”
“You haven’t updated the second part,” Was his voice always so melodic? It felt like he was luring you into a trance. “Does she still hate him now?”
“No,” You breathed out heavily. His whispers felt like they were kissing your lips. “She never hated him. She just- she was just jealous that he was seen, and she wasn’t.”
You had never been this close with a boy- no, a man, before. His jawline looked like it was sharp enough to cut glass. There were no signs of acne or blemish marks on his face. He had to be using some sort of skincare routine. If it turned out he used some sort of 20-in-1 soap for his whole body, you would riot and declare that life was unfairly biased towards men.
“That’s not true,” He looked you in the eyes. How did they convey so much emotion when his lips didn’t say much? “I didn’t like you either, but I have always seen you.”
Time stood still as your eyes flickered down to his lips. His own eyes were searching for your lips as well.
“You wrote consent was the key. ___,” Sieun breathed out, his voice too low and quiet to be heard by anyone but you. “May I kiss you?”
You didn’t even need to think about it. “Yes.”
Sieun didn’t waste any time, stealing your breath away when he pressed his lips against yours in a clumsy yet heated motion. His approach to kissing you was exactly like how he approached his studies. He made a hypothesis, tested it, and then experimented from there. He found that you rather liked it when he nudged your lips with his tongue, silently asking permission for entry, which you gladly gave him.
When you moaned, a verbal response to his hands brushing through your hair, angling your head to kiss you deeper, he added another step to his experiment. His hands travelled down to your waist, and his leanly-muscled arms pulled you into his lap, your plush thighs straddling his strong ones.
You let out an embarrassingly high-pitched moan when Sieun trailed his lips down your neck, focusing on the soft, hollow area where your pulse was the strongest. He helped you out of your blazer, leaving you in your white, long-sleeved school shirt. You grabbed his hands and led them under your shirt, where they rested against the warm skin of your waist.
“Come here,” you panted as you looked down at him, kissing him as if it was as natural as breathing in oxygen. You usually weren’t impulsive like this. You never saw your first kiss culminating in grinding Sieun on his lap. Hell, he wasn’t even in the scenario back when you were twelve and imagining what your first kiss would be like.
It was only when you felt Sieun’s erection straining through his trousers that you finally snapped out of your hormone-addled haze.
“Wait. Wait a second,” Your hand pushed him back by his shoulder. His dark eyes, usually apathetic and unfeeling, were full of unbridled lust and confusion, and you desperately wanted to comfort him by kissing all his doubts away, but you still had to make sense of what this was. “I just- Sieun, what exactly are we?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, one second, we were tutor and tutee, and the next, we’re making out on your mom’s couch.” When you said it out loud, you realised how much it sounded like the plotline of a low-quality pornographic video. “We’re ___ and Sieun. We don’t like each other like that.”
“What makes you think I don’t like you?”
You laughed softly. “Okay, if you say that you’ve been in love with me since we were kids, I’m going to hit you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Sieun, who started drawing absentless circles on your back, sending chills down your spine. “I wasn’t really fond of you too back then.”
You frowned. “Okay, offence very much taken.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that-” Sieun cut himself off, biting his lip before continuing to explain himself. “Your mom was always there, and mine wasn’t. I know how she really is now, but back then-”
“I get it,” You interrupted him. It was like your mothers were a reverse of each other. While your mother was always around, she was controlling, always making you doubt yourself. Meanwhile, you found that Sieun’s mom always had confidence in him, but she certainly kept her distance. Both of you wanted what the other had. “It still doesn’t explain why you suddenly like me.”
“I’m not sure about it, myself,” answered Sieun. “It was more like, I just realised how much I enjoyed having you around when I saw you again. You reminded me that I hadn’t always been lonely all my life.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, puzzled on why he would think that of himself. “You have your friends.”
“They were a recent development, and it didn’t come easy.”
“Are you talking about the Union?” You questioned, remembering what Hari had told you.
“So they told you.” Sieun sighed. He looked like he didn’t want to recount the things that happened last year.
“You don’t have to tell me,” You held his cheek with your hand. Somehow, he looked more vulnerable than you ever saw him. “I can tell by your face. It must have been a difficult time for you.”
Sieun’s eyes softened. He slowly brought you closer, hugging you as he leaned his face into the crook of your neck. You weren’t sure of what kind of relationship you had with him, but what you learned was that he needed you somehow, and you welcomed him.
From a young age, you always had a life plan. It was nurtured into you by your mother. It was a simple, linear plan. Get good grades, get into a top university, and graduate with first class. Your mother didn’t include dating into the life plan.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Yeon Sieun was supposed to stay that awkward and geeky kid.
He was supposed to be a skinny nerd with no game.
He wasn't supposed to have clear skin and soft, supple lips. He wasn't supposed to be devastatingly handsome with Bambi eyes and a sharp jawline.
He wasn't supposed to grow out of the one-sided childhood rivalry you had with him.
He was supposed to tutor you like your mother asked him to, even though you never agreed to it.
He wasn't supposed to be pressing you down on his bed while invading your mouth with his tongue.
Sieun certainly wasn't supposed to be pushing your soaked panties aside and demonstrating the many ways he could make you come undone with his fingers alone.
Yeon Sieun wasn't supposed to be hot.
It had been a few nights since you made out with Sieun while grinding him wantonly on his lap. Since then, you have found your libido uncontrollable since your childhood friend found the switch and turned it on. Suddenly, every smut fic you read on Tumblr, Wattpad, AO3, etc, all involve his stupid face and his equally dumb, messy hair, instead of the idols you fangirled over.
Now, his unfairly long fingers were stripping you of your cotton panties. Even though you were still wearing your skirt, your hands went down to cover your heated pussy.
Sieun, who was between his usual careless self and the oddly passionate self he displayed whenever he was with you, asked you, “Do you want to stop? You know what to say.”
He had read another one of your one-shots, a BDSM V fic you wrote for Kinktober, which wasn’t really as rough as the ones you have read before, but did contain the proper usage of safe words. Proper etiquette was a yes with you.
Of course, you had no intentions of committing any sadomasochistic acts; you mainly read them because of the smut, but you agreed with Sieun that a safe word was a good idea.
You shook your head. “No, I’m good.”
“Then, get your hands away.” With his strong grip, Sieun wrenched your hands away. He then proceeded to bunch your skirt up around your waist, fully exposing your wet nether lips to him. “You’re already wet.”
His left hand grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head onto the headboard of his bed. “How do you usually finger yourself?”
You gulped, fully aware that you were the only one who had ever witnessed the Sieun you were with now. “My clit. Just start there, and then work your way from there.”
He nodded, focusing his attention on the throbbing clump of nerves. He traced your nether lips with his index finger before pressing your clit with his thumb. You struggled to keep still, not wanting to show him how out of control he made you feel with just a simple touch.
“T-that’s it,” You stammered, trying to keep your voice low. “Just circle around it a few times to stimulate it.”
You thought Sieun would have added his own flair, but he diligently followed your instructions. Your breathing became quicker. Even though his touches were simple and minimal, his fingers were very different from yours, his calluses rougher, making the sensation different.
You gripped his sheets. “Y-you can put a finger inside now.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” You let out a heavy breath when his middle finger finally penetrated you. He started with shallow pumps before slowly building up his speed. You firmly shut your eyes, holding your tongue back from letting out the many moans threatening to spill out of you.
“Why are you quiet?” Sieun questioned you casually as if he wasn’t fucking you with his finger right now. He pulled out of you, and somehow, your aching heat missed him. “You didn’t like it?”
“No!” You raised your voice, emotions still high from the peak you were seconds away from reaching. “It’s just that- I’m never alone at home, so I always have to be quiet-”
“Well, you’re on my bed, in my room,” Sieun reasoned with you. His finger penetrated you a second time without warning, causing you to yelp at the sudden but certainly welcome intrusion. “Be as loud as you want.”
He slipped a second finger inside when you were practically drenching him, scissoring and stretching you out, making your thighs shake as he made sure to let each and every one of your moans escape from your mouth. The warm slick lubricating the spongy walls of your cunt coated his fingers, making each push and pull easier as you got wetter.
“Sieun-ah!” You wailed loudly. His hand stopped gripping your wrists to the headboard, instead choosing to hold your hand, his large hand encompassing yours as he interlocked your fingers together. You involuntarily kicked at his sheets when he reached your g-spot. Methodically, he repeated the same motion, making you climb higher and higher to your peak. “I’m going to cum!”
The familiar feeling of waves crashing over occurred when he somehow managed to press his thumb to your clit at the exact time his fingers reached your g-spot, something you have never been able to do on your own. You thanked your lucky stars that his mom was never around, because the scream you let out was embarrassingly loud and unmistakable.
You were still climbing down from your high when you felt Sieun brush your sweaty bangs back. You stifled a chuckle, pushing your upper body arm with your arms before reaching up to kiss him, before sneakily lowering your hand to unzip his trousers and cup his noticeable erection.
You weren’t sure what kind of relationship you had with your former childhood friend, but right now, you were in a state of bliss, experiencing all of your firsts together.
A couple of months passed by since you and Sieun progressed your relationship from awkward former childhood playmates to friends who play with each other in bed.
Well, it wasn’t always necessarily in bed.
There was that one time when you blew him under his desk when he didn’t pay you enough attention. Sieun repaid you when he pinned you to the desk, using his pretty lips and tongue to eat you out.
Of course, you would always remember the time you and Sieun finally did the deed.
You had just gotten your mock exam results, and lo and behold, you had gotten an A+ on your physics exam, something you thought impossible. You remembered proudly showing off to Sieun, who congratulated you with a small smile. You hung out with your friends, where Youngseo and Baku were still somehow figuring out their situationship, and you mischievously played footsie with Sieun when you were all celebrating the end of finals at a pizza place.
That culminated in a long night when you finally asked Sieun to make love to you, despite you still being ‘friends’. Somehow, you felt truly loved by him, with how he eased you into it when he finally penetrated you, and how he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you got used to him.
Even though you were at a stalemate with Sieun, both of you knew that you were no longer just friends, not with the lazy lovemaking sessions, the shared journey together to and from the cram school, or how he shared his AirPods with you every time you rode the bus.
Somehow, love had bloomed between the childhood acquaintances who used to be so envious of each other.
However, the suneung was coming up, and just like Sieun, your grades were too important for you.
“Let’s wait for our university letters,” you told him one day. He was tracing absent-minded circles on your back as you lay in bed together. “Then, we’ll go from there.”
Even though he used to make you feel insecure, somehow, you felt safe with him. You weren’t afraid to loosen the reins on your life. He always made you feel as though he would always accept you, no matter your flaws.
For the first time in a while, you and Sieun still had all of your clothes on as you sat in front of your laptops in his room, impatiently waiting for the long-awaited email to arrive.
“Where is it? It should be here by now,” You rapped your fist lightly against your mouth. “Damn it, I know I messed up on that last question, and they’re taking so long because they know it too-”
“Calm down,” Sieun rubbed your back up and down, trying to ease your nerves. “It’s a mass email, so it’s going to take a while to send to everyone.”
At that moment, both of your accounts received emails from Yonsei, each headlined with the department you applied to.
“Sieun-ah, it’s here,” You whispered before nervously tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie. “It’s here!”
“I know,” he acknowledged. “On three?”
You smiled at him, hovering your finger above the touchpad. “On three.”
You counted down, opening the email at the count of three, and gasped when you saw the first line starting with, ‘Congratulations, Miss ___, you have been accepted…’
You couldn’t help the wide grin on your face. “Sieun-ah, I got in! What about you?”
While his smile wasn’t as obvious as yours, it was obvious that he received good news as well. “Me too.”
Unable to contain your happiness anymore, you threw your arms around him. Your feet were lifted off the ground as he wrapped your arms around your waist, hugging you back earnestly. You didn’t need to explain what you felt. Sieun knew what it felt like to have years of studying finally pay off.
When he finally stopped spinning you around and set you down, you leaned up and pulled him into a kiss. Unlike the many heated kisses you shared that led to even hotter encounters, this kiss was soft, gentle, and comforting. You realised that ever since Sieun first defended you during that dinner, you readily started giving your heart, little by little, until he had it whole.
“___,” he whispered, just a breath away from your lips when you finally separated. “I really like you. I think I love you. Do you want to give us a chance?”
What else could you say other than yes?
author’s notes: Finally, I've finished writing this. I wanted to write more sm*tty parts, but it sounded so awkward and weird, so I ended up scraping it. I hope you enjoyed reading it!
While walking down the hallway together, a student suddenly waves at you. Without hesitation, you wave back. After the student walks away, Si-eun turns to you."Who was that?"You think for a few seconds."I don't know."Si-eun stops walking."What do you mean, you don't know?"You shrug."They seemed to know me."It doesn't take long for him to realize this isn't a one-time thing. You can greet the same person as if you're meeting them for the first time, completely forget names, or confuse people you've been in the same class with for months.At first, he thinks you're joking.Until one day."Si-eun."You pause for a few seconds."What was your last name again?"He genuinely freezes.Over time, however, he begins to notice it more carefully. Whenever someone greets you, he quietly tells you their name. He memorizes class lists. He remembers people for you.One day you ask:"Don't you get tired of me asking all the time?"He looks at you for a moment."I already remember everything."A brief pause."It's enough for both of us."
ᓚᘏᗢ Ahn Su-ho
At first, Su-ho thinks this is the funniest thing in the world.One day you point at Hyun-tak and ask:"Is he in our class?"He bursts into laughter."You've been sitting next to him for a year!"While you're embarrassed, he's still laughing.But over time, he realizes how difficult it actually is for you. He notices the moments when you feel ashamed for forgetting someone's name, accidentally greet the wrong person, or worry that you've hurt someone's feelings.So he turns it into a game.He gives you little clues about people."The kid with the red backpack.""The basketball player.""The girl who lent you a pencil yesterday."Every time, you look at him gratefully.One day, you accidentally ask him:"Sorry, what was your name again?"He dramatically clutches his chest for five entire minutes."I did not deserve this betrayal."
ᓚᘏᗢ Oh Beom-seok
At first, Beom-seok thinks you simply don't like him.Because you mix up his name several times.One day, you even call him by another student's name.The expression on his face immediately falls.You panic."No, I'm sorry! I just forget names!"After that, he starts paying closer attention to you. He notices that you confuse other people's names too and genuinely struggle with remembering faces.After you spend a long time talking to another student, he quietly asks:"Who was that?"You helplessly shrug.Beom-seok smiles softly."Next time, we'll remember together."And from then on, he quietly reminds you of people's names while walking beside you.
ᓚᘏᗢ Park Hu-min
Hu-min finds it incredibly entertaining.One day he hears you ask one of his own friends:"Have we met before?"He almost falls over laughing.But later, he realizes how much stress it causes you.He notices how nervous you become before talking to people and how afraid you are of saying the wrong name.So he starts introducing everyone for you."The blond one.""The tall one.""The fighter."You stare at him."Is that how you categorize people?"He shrugs."It works."For the first time, you feel comfortable because no matter who you forget, he never makes you feel embarrassed.
ᓚᘏᗢ Go Hyun-tak
At first, he doesn't believe you."You're exaggerating."he says.Until one day you ask:"What's your name again?"He stares at you for several seconds."You're joking."When he realizes you aren't, he lets out a deep sigh.After that, he constantly introduces himself."I'm Hyun-tak.""I know.""Just making sure."He tries to make you laugh every time because he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed.
ᓚᘏᗢ Seo Jun-tae
He's one of the people most surprised by your difficulty remembering names.Because he remembers details extremely well.One day, you point at a classmate and ask:"Who's that?"He adjusts his glasses."We've been in the same class."You immediately become embarrassed.A few days later, he starts writing little notes for you. People's names, their characteristics, and where you know them from."Maybe this will help."he says.And for the first time, you realize someone is taking your struggle seriously.
ᓚᘏᗢ Geum Seong-je
He constantly teases you about it."Do you remember me today?""Do you know my name?"At first, it annoys you, but eventually you realize he isn't trying to embarrass you.He's trying to make you feel comfortable.One day, in a crowded room, you become completely overwhelmed and don't know who to greet.Seong-je notices immediately.He quietly walks over."I'm here."Then he begins introducing people one by one.As if it's the most normal thing in the world.
ᓚᘏᗢ Na Baek-jin
Baek-jin notices it from the very beginning.He quietly watches you greet someone as if you're meeting them for the second time.Eventually, he says:"You can't recognize faces."It isn't a question.It's an observation.When you lower your head in embarrassment, he says nothing for a long time.Afterward, whenever someone approaches you, he quietly whispers:"Third year."or"You met them last week."No one notices.One day, you ask him why he does it.He looks at you."Because it bothers you."A brief silence."And I don't like seeing that."
ᓚᘏᗢ Woo-young
At first, he feels hurt.Because you forget his name several times."Do you really not remember me?"he asks.You nod awkwardly.Eventually, he realizes you're not doing it on purpose.He even starts introducing himself whenever he sees you."Woo-young. I'm Woo-young."You laugh.One day, when you don't know who to greet in a crowd, he walks over to you."If I know them, then you know them too."he says.And for the first time, you truly feel at ease.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
✨ A little note from the author: ✨
This post was actually inspired a little by myself. I also struggle quite a bit with matching faces to names. Sometimes realizing that I don't recognize someone who smiles at me or calls my name can feel genuinely embarrassing. I often worry that people might mistake it for disinterest or think that I simply don't care.That's why writing these boys quietly helping you, reminding you of names, or staying beside you during difficult moments felt incredibly comforting to me. Sometimes what we need isn't someone who asks for explanations, but someone who understands us without requiring one.If you also struggle with remembering faces or matching names to people, I want you to know that you're not alone. It doesn't mean you care about people any less. Some faces become blurry, some names slip away, but the right people will never judge you for it. Instead, they'll quietly stand beside you and help you remember. 🤍
