pursue-ing 2013.

The world didn't end in 2012, so here I am; pursueing my dreams and aspirations in the new year of 2013... with bad puns and corny jokes along the way. Click for my regular Tumblr.

[floralls]

(via Projects/Collaborations – LWD Couture)

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October 29th & 30th, 2013.

October 29th was just a regular Tuesday. 

On October 30th, 2013 at 6:41:20 PM EST, I submitted my application to Princeton University. 

I had "Roar" by Katy Perry blaring on my laptop as I clicked submit. 

The first time I clicked submit, for the Common App itself, CA logged me out just as I entered the credit card information. Thankfully, when I logged back in I didn't have to re-enter so it didn't charge me twice. And then I submitted my supplement... and I kind of just sat there for awhile with my hands over my mouth just breathing in and out, listening to "Roar". 

I don't know why I'm not nervous. Princeton is a dream. A dream. But I was more excited than nervous... more shocked that I submitted an application, to be honest. Everyone else is freaking out and their stomachs are in knots because they submitted, but I don't know... I'm strangely really, really calm. Maybe it'll all hit me later.

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October 28th, 2013

Came home early, sat down, and just wrote my last supplement question for Princeton--the 500 word essay. 

Which means I finished my Princeton supplement on October 28th, 2013.

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October 24th - 27th

Passed by in a blur, I don't even remember what happened last week anymore.

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October 22nd - 23rd, 2013

Honestly, how do the days pass by so quickly on this blog but never quickly enough in real life? It's a mystery, I swear. 

Nothing much on Tuesday; just a regular Tuesday. Today, I went to internship, and it was just another day of searching for WPIA candidates. Went to Panera for lunch--and this woman asked me if she could sit with me. Of course, I said yes, and she proceeded to tell me that she really didn't want to eat lunch in her office. I would have asked her if she felt harassed or outcasted in her workplace, but I didn't want to pry so I didn't... Hopefully, she's okay.

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October 20th - 21st, 2013

Nothing really. Sunday was just studying for IB Math HL.

Today was a day of editing Veronique & Beaky's essays for Common App and Rutgers. Didn't really do much... Joked around with Beaks and Luke during Family Living, those poops. Herm. That's pretty much it, ha.

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My favorites (plus the ice cream from The Bent Spoon) from the pictures that I took of Princeton yesterday during my tour.

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October 18th, 2013

Copied from my regular Tumblr:

"I guarantee you that you will not get into _________."

My counselor said this to me today when I told him where I was applying—my dream school—early. I hold no grudges or bad feelings toward him for saying this; I get where he is coming from. I fully understand that it’s a highly competitive school; one of the best colleges, if not the best, in the country. 

But you know what? While I respect his opinion and am confident that he knows his information, I also have full faith in myself. I know that getting in is not going to be easy. I realize that the chance of getting in is very slim, as tens of thousands of high school students across the country are sending their applications with hopes that align very much with mine. But that does not mean that I believe that there is a zero percent chance of me getting in. I don’t—won’t—believe that I have a “guaranteed rejection”. 

I am a leader. I am a creator. I am an innovator. I have the aspirations and the determination to take me far in life. I am passionate about the things that I love and am unyieldingly persistent in pursuing my dreams. And whereas I may not be the 4.0 student with the perfect SAT and ACT scores, I do not believe that test scores and GPA are everything (not to say that my SAT/ACT scores are bad; they do lie in the top first & fifth percentile in the nation). I believe that passion, potential, and drive are all crucial in the college application process, as colleges are not only looking for academics but people who are going to be wonderful new additions to campus; people who are going to take the name of the university far and give it acclaim long after graduation. 

I am not going to let his words get to me. I refuse. I am going to continue believing in myself and am not going to let his words reverberate through my head in an endless echo. I am simply going to continue on with my application focusing on the “what if I get in?” instead of the “what if I don’t get in?"—as at the end of the day, I believe in me. I understand that there is the possibility of denial in admission, yet I reject the notion of no possibility of acceptance. 

I am going to keep walking with my head held high. 

I can do this.

(I promise I am not trying to be self inflating or narcissistic; this has simply been a self pep-talk as I really need this pick-me-up.)

Spent the rest of the day with Rachel after the guidance meeting--we went to Shake Shack and had burgers, fries, and milk shakes, then went to Barnes & Noble to work on our various different essays and assignments that we had to do over the weekend. 

Came home and decided to take a nap at around 10:30 to wake up half an hour later, but Daddy came in my room and convinced me while I was half asleep to just wake up early the next morning and to sleep through the night. He tucked me in and kissed me on the forehead before he left :)

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October 19th, 2013

Eleven hours of sleep. Eleven. That's more than twice what I usually sleep on a school night, but alas--I slept for eleven hours. After I woke up, had breakfast with Mom and worked on my résumé for a bit before Daddy came home. They asked me if I still wanted to go visit Princeton today for inspiration and I honestly did not know; on the one hand, I really, really wanted to go see campus again but on the other hand, I had so much work to do and the International Dinner later that night. 

We ended up going to Princeton--and I'm so glad that we ended up going. Even though it was cloudy, campus was still stunning. It took us almost two hours to get there, making me miss the opportunity to meet Ashley--which I feel terrible about--but that aside, it was so worth it. We ate at this Indian restaurant, which was delicious, then headed to Frist Campus Center for the tour. The tour was different from the first one that I took; he even took us inside the Rocky common room, which was absolutely wonderful. 

On campus, I kept seeing these signs--I know I'm being silly and am probably looking for every excuse for hope, but still--good signs. On the way to find the coffee shop "Small World", I saw one of the BCA alumni who graduated just this past year in the Starbucks window, and we waved to each other. How crazy is that? What are the chances that he would be sitting in that coffee shop, in that seat, during the time that I was walking down Nassau Street? Extremely minimal. And during the tour, someone was playing "Roar" by Katy Perry, a song that drives my parents nuts because I listen to it all the time for motivation and use it as my alarm clock for the morning and also for naps. And then as I was walking with my mom to CVS to buy Tylenol for her headache and to get cash for ice cream, I saw Mira, my PMUNC chair. She walked right past me, not knowing who I was--which is understandable, as it was a huge committee--but I recognized her instantly. What. Are. The. Chances?! There are thousands of students at Princeton; what are the chances of me seeing the two people out of the maybe three or four who I actually know who attend the school during my visit? Maybe the Katy Perry song wasn't that much of a coincidence, as it does make blatant references to "I am the eye of the tiger" so it's understandable that they'd use it for stirring pride in students... but the other things? I refuse to let these coincidences slide, just as I refuse his claim that he can "guarantee my rejection to Princeton". 

Going and visiting campus relieved me of the echoing of his voice in my head and all the hopelessness that his words brought forth. I believe in me. I have to believe in me--for if I myself won't, who possibly will in a person who does not even believe in themselves? 

YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR ME ROAR!

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October 16th & 17th, 2013

Wednesday, went to internship and I'm just really glad that Rose is around now. It's almost time for her to go--well, not really, since she's leaving in December, but I really don't want her to leave. It was really nice having another intern around, not to mention that she's super duper awesome and really sweet. We basically just did WPIA research for the whole day. I have decided that from now on, I will be investing my dollars in Panera; I went to Starbucks every other day for the incredibly slow and infuriating wifi... and I found heaven at Panera. Works super speed and I love it. 

On Thursday, didn't really do much. It was just another typical Thursday, and talked about my budding novel with Mr. Weems and that's pretty much it. Came home and took a two hour nap... which was probably really bad because I have SAT IIs in two weeks and I haven't really started studying. Ha.

Oh. And Erin is an asshole.

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October 11th - 15th, 2013

Nothing much, except on October 12th & 13th, I finally started/finished the first draft of my Common App essay. Things have been really not good with Marshall lately, but it's just him sorting out stuff with himself and projecting it onto other people. Why specifically me, I have no idea, but I don't know. I'm just going to not say anything and let him figure his crap out. Spent last hour today with Ms. Buccino for AMUN and was reminded all over again that my dream of giving the speech since freshman year has been crushed and I felt nauseous and just. I don't know. Erm. Not much else, really. I hate that I got that grade in Econ because I actually studied until 3 AM but people who studied just that morning, not even, got higher grades than me. What the actual f, though.

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October 3rd - 10th, 2013

Nothing really important. Got really upset with Marshall on the 9th/10th because he honestly was being an asshole just to be an asshole. Uh. Not much, really. 

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HOW DID I MISS A WEEK, WHAT A;WOEIFJ

9 DAYS TO BE EXACT WHAT IS THIS

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if you want to follow my actual blog: laureaa

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October 2nd, 2013.

Today wasn't nearly as exciting as last week was- but what can you do? Not every week can be totally jam-packed with awesome. That's the way life works. 

Woke up in the morning for internship, and got a text from Mom saying that I forgot lunch. Walked to Starbucks, bought an Izze, then went to work. Did some Excel stuff, address searching, and WPI searching, then went to Chipotle for lunch. They advertise free WiFi but the one on 7th didn't have WiFi, apparently. Hmph. So I ended up eating alone while reading.

Went back to the office, and really did not do much. Bah. Came home. Econ. History.

Done.

Oh, also retired the email handle 'miidnightlullaby'.

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October 1st, 2013.

Happy October!

Pretty much a normal day. Embarrassed myself in Econ because... well, Mr. Schwimmer called on me and I was not ready. Welp. What can you do. And I don't know if it's just me being paranoid, but I swear things are weird with Mr. Walsh; he's not looking at me. Okay then. Not that I care, really. I'm still angry at him for treating me as if I'm stupid for asking him a question. I had a question today but I didn't ask it because he'll undoubtedly give me that face again- which is ridiculous because he's so nice to everyone else when they have questions. Or maybe they have 'higher calibre questions', in his eyes. But nevertheless, if things keep going at this rate, I'm going to go to him and have a talk with him. Because he's honestly making me feel so uncomfortable.

Had lunch- wished Matt a happy birthday, since it was his birthday, and had a relatively fun lunch with Beaky, Giraffey, and Seth. Went to Envi Sys, then Spanish, then ToK, and then Lit. Mundane day, much? 

I spent last hour with Yarema, Beaky, Alex, and kind of Danielle and Allie. Talking to Alex made me realize just how much I miss Rutherford in general; hearing about people changing and how people who used to be in my life- who no longer are- have lives of their own that I'm not a part of. And it's just strange to see everyone who I used to know become- well, they've already became- people whom I really don't know. I'm a bit jealous that he's still in touch with town friends, as I really am not. Yarema told us the story about Sunglasses Girl. And almost flipped on Beaky when she said that 'if you wear less clothing to a rave, then you should expect for guys to ask you to dance'- JUST NO. NOPE. NO.

Came home, napped, finished the NOW Excel document, and now I'm about to find a new OTP and go to bed.

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September 30th, 2013.

IT WAS RACHEL'S BIRTHDAY, YAY! 

Got out of bed to write her a happy birthday post because I'm the worst (missed midnight) and stayed up until 1:30 making her a silly photoshop collage. Gave her the present early in the morning, and really didn't see her for the rest of the day until Lit. Got Mr. Paul's signature, and he's so sweet a;oweifj he told me that it will be okay if I don't get into X University that I'm applying to early because lots of other 'stellar students have applied and gotten rejected'- which is kind of 'thank you' but 'have a little faith in me please' but at the same time 'I get what you're saying', if that makes sense.

Uhhhhhhh. Did an Envi Sys lab and don't really remember much else.