Dumbass Academia: A Concept
Making snarky jokes when someone asks what you plan to do with your major
Ex: “My real life plan is to marry rich and become a wealthy widow at a young age. College is just a pickup scene.”
Getting used to various mystery stains on all your books/essays/papers
Is it food? Is it a water stain from reading in the bathtub? Is it tears? Were you annotating the book and some ink blotted up? Who knows? Certainly not you, better read around it.
Speaking of annotating books: Underlining all the bad words
This is especially fun if it’s something more “high brow” like a poetry book
Your glasses (if you wear them) are somehow always either dirty or scratched. You can’t see with them off, but you can’t see all that well with them on either.
You have a book. You want to read the book. It is highly recommended. It’s supposed to be very good. It will allow your mind to grow. It may even have a deep meaning or important historical significance that you really care about absorbing. Alas, neither your brain nor your heart has room for new characters to love or new obsessions to fixate on. You read fanfiction instead.
Finding a way to justify pretty much anything you like as part of your preferred aesthetics
Ex: “The show Rick and Morty totally counts as dark academia because it heavily involves science and education and also because gay stuff happens in it.”
Ex: “Wearing black lipstick is totally within the realm of cottagecore because there are black flowers and good rich dirt is often black and there are black nights with beautiful shining stars.
Correcting people about small errors on an impulse and then realizing two days later that they were actually right.
Writing things in code and posting them randomly online
(If I get to 150 followers on this blog I will be doing that btw)
Posting stuff or saying stuff and pretending that you don’t care about people’s opinions on what you say because you’re in this for you but secretly anytime you get a notification you almost cry because you’re so excited
Using old beat up notebooks and any pens you can get your hands on because you don’t have the time or money for fancy stationary
Being a little pretentious and doing things purely For The Aesthetic but then ten minutes later you’re eating mac and cheese and watching cartoons in the bathtub because being elitist is fun but it takes so much time and effort
Having a lot of mottos but none of them actually really apply to you but you insist that they are in fact what you base your life on anyway. Sometimes they like, half apply? But never all the way
Were you a gifted kid who didn’t quite fit in with everyone else in the gifted program’s intellectual strong suits? Or a gifted kid who now feels like you’ve become completely mediocre/average? You fit in
Alternatively were you a student who wasn’t considered one of the “smart” kids and even may have been treated like you were dumb and/or less than other students because you didn’t connect to your schooling “the correct way”? You fit in too
Constantly changing your aesthetic because something else seems cool
You read those “tea or coffee?” things and scoff because who can decide?
Going feral over abandoned buildings for no reason
Making bad jokes that most other people don’t get because they’re about really niche topics
Whenever someone asks you about a book you’re reading or what you’re studying you panic and say something nonsensical
Coming up with or researching conspiracy theories, but more about small local things like why there are never major storms in your town than big conspiracies like the moon landing
Not that you can’t also be into the big conspiracy theories
Being either ridiculously emotional all the time or being completely devoid of emotions all the time.
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