The Houses Drunk
*based on experience*
Gryffindor: loudly boasting about all the things they’ve done. From joining the army to teaching English in a third world countr to acing a year 7 geometry test when they were twelve. Also blatantly tells you what they think of your family. Often makes people uncomfortable, but they’re fun to watch dancing on a table later. Will probably take their clothes off if you throw money at them because they think it’s funny.
Slytherin: very stumbly, talks a lot and then realises they’ve talked too much. Uses alcohol (and sometimes exhaustion) as an excuse to release of their pent up feelings. Rings their crush. Gets upset. When they’re happy and drunk, their sense of humour is even better than usual.
Ravenclaw: gets drunk before everyone else just to survive the social situation. Starts off really happy and giggly, full of confidence and basks in attention. Within two or three hours they start sobering up (but by no means is sober) and starts to regret even going out. Probably gets a bit down and depressed, orders pizza for one and sits in a corner eating it. Messages friends and ex, but keeps it relatively non regrettable. Apologises in the morning just in case.
Hufflepuff: gets messy, loves everyone. Cries over people they’ve upset and hurt. Flirts a lot. Apologises and cries over any small mean thing they’ve done. Falls in love with three people, will regret saying anything about that in the morning. Enjoys playing spin the bottle. Rings ex again and announces they still love them to the entire room and ex. Talks openly about feelings and correcting any lies. Leaves people stunned and bemused.












