The Feminine Appearance Part 1 - Modesty in More Detail
Modesty, unfortunately, has developed a connotation of only being one specific type of way: boring, unflattering, frumpy, grandma-ish. We've been taught that if you're modest, you're automatically seen as unattractive and/or pretty girls and beautiful women can't be modest.
While modesty is super important and needs to be/should be followed by a traditional feminine woman, that doesn't mean you have an excuse to neglect your appearance and look unattractive.
You do not need to look like your grandma to be modest, so put the mumu down. Modesty doesn't not equal frumpiness or is the antithesis of fashionable dressing. It simply means that we do not need to show off all of our good to look attractive.
Take me for example. I went through the entire of college thinking that in order to be seen as attractive, I needed to wear the shortest shorts possible and show off my chest at any opportunity. Now I know however, that a dress that goes to just below my collarbone and is knee length is still just as attractive if you know how to wear it correctly.
A feminine, traditional woman can't neglect her appearance. It's our duty to be put together, to stay attractive, and be pleasant to be around. We owe it to ourselves, our husbands, our community. And it starts with one of the easiest things to change about yourself, your clothes.
One of the number one things I see that work to ruin modesty is not dressing for your body type or just opting for the baggy, 3 sizes too big garment. Flowy is fine, but baggy is going to do all the wrong things to your feminine shape. Don't show it off, but don't completely hide from it as well. There's a balance, cinch in your waist with a belt or wear an outfit that you brought to a tailor to fit you just right.
The other main thing I see is your clothing being very plain. Simplicity is nice in certain circumstances but in order to be attractive and modest, you need to start playing with patterns and fabrics, change things up a bit. You don't need to always wear solid colors in cotton or wool. Opt for maybe a floral pattern or fabric like satin or chiffon.
Here's some key items that help elevate your modesty and keep you away from looking old:
Accessories. Don't let your clothes just speak for themselves. Make yourself look put together, wear a necklace or some nice earrings to make the rest of you pop. My favorites are usually a simple chain or one with a subtle pendant and smaller hoop earrings. Wear a neck scarf, sunglasses that flatter you face shape.
Longline or tailored blazers
Jean skirts IF done correctly, with a raw hem or slightly distressed with a tailored fit
Layering pieces. Have a spaghetti strap top or dress you want to wear? Throw a t-shirt underneath.
Play with patterns and fabrics, don't just stick with plain white or black cotton
Graphic t-shirts. If you have them, wear them with a skirt and a cardigan to jazz it up!
Smock tops, especially for ladies like me with larger chests
Modest fashion that is flattering and age appropriate is sometimes SO difficult to find in standard retail stores! I promise that you can find something almost everywhere, but digging for those holy grail items can be exhausting.
So here are some stores, in person and online, that I find hold the most amount of modest products so you don't waste your time:
Uniqlo - this is where I bought my FAVORITE house dress, plus is a great store for basics
H&M - particularly their sections on business wear has great blouses, skirts, and dresses
Primark - this can be hit and miss but the dresses are wonderful
Ivy City and Co. - an online boutique based in Utah, has great items and adorable Mommy and Me matching sets!
NeeSee's Dresses - caters specifically to modest fashion, a bit pricier but so worth it
JC Penney and Kohls - they're everywhere and they have pretty much everything under the sun you would want, dress, skirts, loose pants, and blouses!
Amazon - I try not to shop here for clothes all that often because quality can vary, but if it has a good review, it's typically great and has great variety!
