what exactly are you looking for when you say you want someone to bully you to lose weight?
honestly, a couple of things, but first some background on how i gained the weight:
i grew up always being chubbier than the rest of the kids, and it's been that way my entire life. last time i gained a LOT of weight was my second year of uni, where i had reached 72kgs. i went back down to 58-60 with the help of a dietitian and i was the most confident i've ever been.
the past two years i've been studying to take a professional exam while working full time and doing job and master's applications. i took the first part of the exam in july '25 and the second part in may '26. i didn't gain that much weight while studying for the first part, but the second part was much harder and i ended up working from home to save time on transport, which meant that from march until may i was working and studying at home, sitting on a chair from 7 am to 2 am every day, taking a maximum of 200 steps. i wasn't even leaving the house to grocery shop, i was ordering my groceries. this is what led to me being the heaviest i've ever been at 80 kgs.
in a way, i'm not THAT pissed at myself for the weight loss, it wasn't a result of overeating or eating the wrong things (i actually was very particular with what i ate bc i knew i wasn't moving at all during the day) it was a result of stress and not moving my body at all because i was doing what i had to do to pass this exam (despite what i say on tumblr and certain... particular kinks i have, i'm actually very professionally driven irl).
i'm now home for three months for the summer before i go off for my master's, which means that this is the first time (in the many times i've had to diet in my life) that weight loss is the only thing i have to worry about.
the downside of it being summer is that i live extremely close to the beach, which means I am in a swimsuit every single day. plus, a lot of my friends haven't seen me since last summer and i can definitely see that they are shocked by the weight gain (they haven't said anything, but it's obvious, and i don't blame them for it). all in all, even though i know it wasn't necessarily my "fault" for gaining weight, just a result of the circumstances, it's still taken a huge hit on my confidence and self esteem.
now, on what i'm looking for:
1) someone to keep me in line. i'm trying to stick to healthy eating and a calorie deficit, but the downside of summer is that it's much harder to follow a plan than in winter, as i'm going out much more. so i think having someone who demands my weight/bodychecks/pictures of my food every day, and then shames me for it (maybe even send some th!nspo) will help me stick to my diet and make me soo much more hesitant in breaking it.
2) this isn't something i'm looking for but it's something i'm gaining from it, but there's also a sexual aspect to it. i've always gotten off on power exhange dynamics (especially for an essential function such as food) and being degraded (especially when it comes to something i can't change from one day to the next) so this is a way for me to make dieting and weight loss more fun, which in turn will also help me follow it.
this was a lot of word vomit, so hopefully that answered the question.
