When you lived with two superheroes, both of whom were difficult at best, life threateningly stupid at worst, you expected this show and dance. The news weighed heavily on them both, MJ knew, and she could understand that. It was driving her crazy, this helplessness, this sense of utter wrongness, and it killed her not being able to go out and protest. There were dozens throughout the city, but the Strike Force wasn’t taking kindly to them. Tear gas was being thrown, threats yelled, and warning shots fired, the chaos never ended, the disregard for human life, fuck, it made her sick. If she could be out there, she would be. If she could singlehandedly defend both Peter and Gwen, MJ would thank god and whoever else blessed her with capability, but this dimension wasn’t where it was happening. Instead, she was waiting for the sound of a click, informing her that a door was opening, and the slide of a window, informing her their big break was underway.
Unsurprisingly, it was Peter that left first, and MJ knew him well enough to know that it would be without a plan, wholly unprepared, relying solely on his powers and the desire of justice alone. When she caught up to him, the infamous Spider-Man was perched on the fire escape, prepared for the first swing. If she were seconds later, he would have been long gone, carried away on a stupid fucking web. Frustrated, she threw her hands into the air, “You won’t even look at me now? After everything we’ve been through together, Gwen’s death, Orse outing you, telling Aunt May, you won’t even look at me?” She left out how she’d discovered his identity, knowing it was a bruise too tender to prod for the both of them. “You want to go play hero, Peter, go and risk your life? I’m not going to sit in the apartment and goddamn let you. Enough people have died in this… this war already! You’re not going to be next, I’ve lost enough people for a couple lifetimes.”
And really, that was what it always boiled down to. MJ was terrified of losing people, and he was stupid enough to lay his neck on a chopping block. All one of those assholes needed to do was let it fall.
Peter winced and dropped his feet off the railing back onto the fire escape, pressing his forehead to the cool metal of the banister. Fuck. This was why he snuck out before anyone could catch him; this was why he’d kept it a secret for so long; this was why he tried to keep people at arms’ length. Because he couldn’t face the loss, because they didn’t need to face it, either. It was so much easier to just disappear and not have to see MJ’s face as he betrayed her one more time.
After a moment, he raised his head, pulled off his mask, and turned to face her. “I don’t know what you want me to say, MJ.” He struggled to keep his voice level, to hide the tremble he felt. “This is who I am--what I do. People are dying, and I’m not going to just stay back and-- and-- let them! I can handle myself, I’m... strong. I’m strong, I’m tough. And the people down there, they’re innocent. It’s not their fault I got messed up in this bullshit. That’s on me. But I did, and I don’t know what the fuck else you want me to do.”
The mask weighed heavy in his hand, and he felt his face flushing, adrenaline draining through his system. He couldn’t make eye contact. He couldn’t look MJ dead in the face and just leave her, not after everything. She was right, of course she was right. She was always right, and she was beautiful, and he was hurting her, and, god. Peter’s face crumpled, and he clenched his fist tighter around the mask. “I don’t know what else to do,” he whispered.