🦋 WANGSHENG.

pyre , pyre , pants on fire !

[pyrohma]

                   —     VERSEMONGER OF THE DARKEST ALLEYS , HU TAO !

✿     guidelines ! art credit !

[pyrohma]

oopsy

[pyrohma]

cryostallion​:

❝YOU’RE as strange as the rumours say. ❞ He begins bluntly, none of his usual charm apparent. Clearly she had already struck a nerve.  ❝ I was sent here by the Acting Grand Master of Mondstadt to…strike a business deal of sorts. ❞

                    she can’t help the smirk on her face . she was only teasing , but she must have struck it on the nose , she thinks , for his reaction is far too telling . as tempting as further frustration is     (     if only to see the look on his face !     )     she relents . the wellbeing of wangsheng is far more important to her than a moment of humor , however worth it it would seem .

                    ❛          o - ho - ho ? & what could such an important person want with a funeral parlor in the neighboring country ? or , rather , want from     —     this is more like a favor , right ?          ❜          she’s only guessing , with little to go on more than common sense , but thinks that there is likely not much that wangsheng can offer mondstadt in terms of formal business dealings .     (     she could always be wrong , of course     —     but then , funeral rites in liyue are largely centered in tradition     —     cultural traditions which do not extend to their nearby nations .     )

                    ❛          or is it more to do with liyue itself ? i don’t have any connection to the qixing , you know .          ❜          although she does with the geo archon , of course     —     but , if only out of respect for her favorite employee to harass , she never acknowledges her understanding of his status .

[pyrohma]

retainre​:

          ❛     aww   ,   c’mon   .   i   know   i   have   a   crush   on   somebody   new   every   day   but   this   one   is   real   :   𝐢   𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫   .     ❜   &   he   truthfully   believes   it   too   ——   it   feels   real   ,   but   does   he   not   say   that   about   every   single   romantic   interest   ?   (   𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲   𝐚𝐥𝐥   𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭   𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥   𝐚𝐭   𝐨𝐧𝐞   𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭  .   )   ❛      i   don’t   know   when   she’ll   be   back   so   …   it’s   go   big   or   go   home   ,   right   ?     ❜

                    ❛          well , i have to commend your DEDICATION , at least .          ❜          she knows better than to believe it     —     than to trust his claims , for he declares the same each & every time .     (     when it is truly real , she believes she will know , perhaps even better than he does himself .     )

                    ❛          okay , okay . maybe you could borrow wangsheng for a day , as an event location . & then , you can throw her a mock funeral ! it’s all the rage with girls these days , trust me .          ❜

[pyrohma]

                              —     huh  ,  and  why  are  the  butterflies  our  guides  ?  well  …  (  because  they  want  to be  SEELIES  when  they  grow  up  )  ,  hehe  !  though  that  walking  ENCYCLOPEDIA  zhongli  would  no  doubt  have  a  completely  different  explanation  …  okay  ,  you  should  be  safe  from  here  .  next  time  ,  don’t  go  running  around  in  /  dangerous  /  places  .  of  course  ,  if  you  really  insist  on  adventuring  ,  then  be  my  guest  !  adventurers  are  our  VIP  clients  ,  after  all  !  (  we  even  have  COUPONS  for  you  .  )

                    —     HU TAO  ,  WANGSHENG FUNERAL DIRECTOR  ,  AS  WRITTEN  BY  MOCHA  !  ( ✿ )

[hutaos]

[pyrohma]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

[ermmmmmie-deactivated20251017]

happy (belated) birthday to hu tao

[einuken]

♯ 𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘  :  on   the   lunch   menu   today   ,   we   have   sakura   tempura   &   tricolor   dango   .ᐟ   here   ,   there’s   some   for   you   ,   some   for   paimon   &   i   also   put   some   aside   for   milady   &    the   man   of   the   clan   himself   .   ah   ,   wait   ,   i   forgot   someone   …   there’s   none   for   me   .ᐟ

cared   for   by   𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐘𝐀 .ᐟ  ac. ♡

[worldofteyvat]

genshin week day 1: favourite character ↳ hutao ✿

[pyrohma]

@thuomes​

                    ❛          you don’t have to do all of that . really     —     it makes them uncomfortable .          ❜

[pyrohma]

hu tao every single day of her life

[pyrohma]

retainre​:

          ❛     a   girl   i   like   ,   ❜   it’s   spoken   quickly   ,   with   an   urgency  that   makes   it   evident   that   he   wishes   not   to  elaborate   :   𝐚𝐭   𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭   𝐧𝐨𝐭   𝐟𝐨𝐫   𝐭𝐡𝐞   𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞   𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠   .   ❛     she   goes   back   home   soon   ,   she   was   here   studying   something   and   i   thought   you’d   be   able   to   help   ,   i   have   no   clue   where   to   even   start   .     ❜

                    ❛          another one ? & how can i know where to start if i don’t know anything about her ?          ❜          a HALF TRUTH , as she also uses it as a poorly disguised attempt to extract information , despite its truthfulness .          ❛          don’t know where to start . . . a good idea would be to start at where you want it to be . somewhere SPECIAL .          ❜          call her the love doctor , because hu tao is in .

[pyrohma]

@enmoni​     —     xingqiu !

                    ❛          you can try to learn funeral rites from books all you like , but it’s NOTHING like seeing it in person , you know ? sure you don’t want to see the behind the scenes ? it’s a special opportunity for the feiyun commerce guild ! especially for the funeral of an adeptus .          ❜

[pyrohma]

@cryostallion​

                    ❛          well , you don’t look like you’re in mourning . . . at least , not mourning the DEAD so much as innocence lost , right ? sorry , that’s not in wangsheng funeral parlor’s offered services . . . but surely there’s some matter that’s brought you to us regardless ?          ❜

[pyrohma]

@reignsvir​

                    ❛          this weapon is so CLUNKY     —     this is the end for me . the illustrious hu tao , met her end by getting crushed under the giant boat mister diluc swings around like it’s somehow practical . a pity . . . i had so much to live for , too .          ❜

[pyrohma]

retainre​:

          ❛     not   just   any   party   :   a   surprise   party   ——   keep   your   voice   down   ,   i   don’t   want   anybody   to   hear   my   plan   .     ❜

                    ❛          ohhh , i see , i see ! sooo . . . who’s the party for , then ?          ❜          she lowers her voice to a whisper , as though the spirits of the dead will TATTLE on her if she’s not careful .