Nah but imma take a moment to celebrate myself because I spent so many nights crying trying to get here.
I’ve always felt so behind. I thought I’d have finished my PhD by now and be working my dream job. I’ve been told I was “lazy” since I was a kid and I’ve always felt like I wasn’t doing enough or working hard enough. Even when double majoring, studying over seas, being the president of 2 major orgs on campus, being the membership chair of my sorority, and working 30 hours a week in college I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I made the dean’s list every semester and still I felt like I just wasn’t doing enough.
I was the only person at 22 who wasn’t working retail and who lived alone with my own place I paid for. I never never asked for help with rent. And still people made fun of my job. People still called me lazy. I worked 45-50 hours a week 3rd shift and I was “lazy.”
When I upgraded my car people made fun of me and called me “boujee.” No one considered that I happily and gratefully drove a 15 year old car that leaked when it rained and so had mold growing in for almost a decade.
People make fun of me for spending money on my nails and my lashes and my tattoos, but I literally have paid thousands in other people’s rent over the last 2 years alone.
I fought so hard for this job and still people tell me that “I don’t really work” all while asking me if I can get them hired.
I’ve always felt that the “hardworking gene” skipped me. That I would never be as hard working as my sister or my dad but I look around at what I’ve built and it might not be much but maybe, just maybe, it’s ok to be proud of myself too.
titsay
baratheonpilled
izzy806
discoholicmusic
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
