quacky

in a perpetual state of nat 1

[sca-nerd]

I am being stalked by the fire department.

[sca-nerd]

Okay, but you asked.

I took my niece and nephew on a long promised weekend trip to DC and let them each plan a day doing and or seeing anything they each wanted. Thursday we drove up, got settled into our hotel, and went to bed.

1:24 am on Friday morning, the fire alarm goes off and we evacuate to the front of the hotel. "Did you do this just to see firemen?" My niece asks, and we all laugh. It was a faulty alarm and we're allowed back in about twenty minutes later. I snap a picture.

The rest of Friday goes by firetruck free, but the kids keep teasing me. Saturday rolls around and nary a fire engine in sight. My nephew asks if they blocked my number. We laugh and exit the metro station that evening to walk to the car and there's a fire truck in the parking lot. We laugh at the coincidence. I snap a picture.

Sunday we drive to Baltimore to visit the aquarium and see some family. My niece and nephew tell our cousins about the firetrucks that show up where ever I am and we all laugh. As we leave the aquarium the distinct sound of fire sirens can be heard and a truck drives right by us. We all crack up until it stops in front of our parking garage. My niece thinks this is hysterical. I snap a picture.

We return to our hotel, and I stopped to fill up my gas that evening since we would be leaving first thing in the morning. As I start the car to leave we see another engine. "Marie!" My niece says, but no one laughs this time.

Monday we pack up and I drive the kids home. I visit with my family a little before I drive the additional two hours home, where I get a text from my sister. She had stopped to get dinner and a firetruck pulled into the shopping center. She sent me a picture.

I ask her which kid is with her, and feel vindicated that it was my nephew. I joke and tell her that it was actually HIM they were following. We all laugh. I go to bed.

Tuesday morning, yesterday, I get up and get the dogs ready for their morning walk. I open the door only to hear heavy engines idling. I walk to the edge of the balcony and see a fire engine in front of my building. My elderly downstairs neighbor had fallen and needed help getting up. After confirming that she's okay, I take a picture because no one is going to believe me.

Today passed by uneventfully, and I was certain that it was over. It was all a strange coincidence. They weren't actually stalking me, I was just beating the strangest odds ever created. Which was why this evening, when I opened my door to accept a delivery, there was another fire truck.

My neighbor fell again. I asked her if she is part of the conspiracy to have them show up where ever I am. She asked me if I'd seen the firemen, and could I blame her for falling so many times. I asked her to please stop for her health and my sanity.

I have no idea what I'm going to do if another one shows up tomorrow. This is three different states and six consecutive days, y'all.

[sca-nerd]

I think the streak has stopped. I didn't have one show up anywhere yesterday. Do I find it highly suspicious that it stopped after I publicly called them out for it? Yes. Yes, I do.

[worth-the-reblog]

Nephew #1> I can't make it to DnD tonight, I have a paper due.

Nephew #2> Someone kill that man immediately.

Me> Wow, that escalated quickly. I know fratricide is when you murder your brother, but what's it called when it's your cousin?

Nephew #2> I'm pretty sure that's just regular ole murder.

[rivkat]

[catgirlcaliphate]

Now I'm no big city lawyer,

[petermorwood]

It's called beeR, not beeF.

According to Wikipedia this guy is well-educated, but clearly something fell between the cracks.

Even that stuff has "barley malt, rice, water, hops and yeast".

Three of them qualify as vegetables, while another is a single-celled organism somewhere between a bacteria and a fungus, whose function is the generation of gas which in sufficient quantities is harmful.

It could host a TV show.

*****

There was once an ale which was rather less plant-based, called Cock Ale, and it did indeed have a cock in it.

No, not like that. :-P

Not like this, either.

Like this.

These modern beers are poultry-free...

...but various pub names and signs, if old enough, suggest they were once the place to go for a pint of The Real Stuff.

The usual recipe cited on-line is from here:

There are several internet accounts of making the stuff from scratch, with a cooked chicken as an additive, though apparently the finished product has no poultry flavour.

Oh goody.

However it's worth noting that Sir Kenelm's own recipe includes already-brewed ale as one of its ingredients. Quite a lot of it...

'Take eight gallons of ale, take a cock and boil him well, then take four pounds of raisins of the sun, well stoned, two or three nutmegs, three or four flakes of mace, half a pound of dates; beat these all in a mortar, and put to them two quarts of the best sack; and when the ale hath done working, put these in, and stop it close six or seven days, and then bottle it, and a month after you may drink it.'

Here's a slightly different version:

‘Take a couple of young cocks, boil them almost to a jelly in water, and put into four gallons of ale; put in also a pound of raisins of the sun stoned; infuse a pound of dates, mace and nutmegs of each two ounces, in a quart of canary; put them to the ale; strain and squeeze out the liquor, and put to it half a pint of new ale yeast. Let it work for a day; you may drink it the next but it is better the third day; you may make it weaker by mingling it with plain ale as you draw it, or you may put it into a firkin of ale. It is good against consumption and to restore decayed nature.’

A couple of points:

(1) The first recipe calls for "sack" - sherry - and the second for "Canary" - Malmsey. These are strong white wines; in fact sherry, the "sherris sack" beloved by Shakespeare's Falstaff, is fortified by adding brandy to it.

Then there's all that fruit, and in the second recipe, more yeast: after what's likely to be Enthusiastic Secondary Fermentation both versions of this stuff are likely to be considerably more powerful than when it started, and indeed Recipe Two advises diluting it with, or adding it to, ordinary ale.

(2) "It is good against consumption and to restore decayed nature" suggests Cock Ale was intended more as a tonic than a beverage, although and significantly, the phrase "restore decayed nature" hints that cock rather than hen was used Because Of Reasons.

At this period the fashionable new drink coffee was being criticised as "enfeebling", and that didn't refer to weak arms and legs. Cock Ale, on the other hand, was "provocative", and three guesses what it was supposed to provoke.

No, not belching... :->

[yuirhapsody]

[shyriadracnoir-deactivated20181]

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

[segadreamcatcher]

they beat Jesus with that

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

happy easter everyone

[sca-nerd]

I am thinking of doing A Thing, and as I'm the adult responsible for myself, there's no one to stop me.

[quackingquazy]

Apparently last night when I was sleep deprived out of my mind, technically this morning when I was sleep deprived out of my mind. Some of my guy friends were given a sleep deprived question sandwich. I then debated the caste system within the cars franchise and how I dont like the societal implications of hot-rod discrimination. Because if youre a hot-rod, you simply are and I was alarmed that some hot-rods would be discriminated against. I vaguely remember saying these things and similar to what one of my friends said. I also don't want to know what I'd be thinking on weed.

Since this was AFTER I debated age gap relationships and traumatic death, as well as unrequited love between Stars. No not Hollywood stars. STARS FROM THE SKY.

I can honestly say I've said weirder things on more sleep.

[quackingquazy]

my players actions in today's ill-planned session

Whilst being illegally incarcerated and not being immediately provided a restroom break, my life cleric began to do the illustrious peepee dance, of which she slayed the house down.

Whilst being interrogated my unemployed, former pirate, responded to all questions being asked with "Piss off", except for the question asking about why he was found in the forest. To which he responded "Pissing in the woods".

Whilst speaking to a clearly spazzed out detective speaking in tongues my life cleric invoked Apollo, to which the detective, finding a moment of clarity, asks "Where am i?".

My life cleric, after being transported to a "court room", and after watching my unemployed former pirate bash head-first into a wall instead of a bailiff decides she's going to boop one on the nose. It works, he looks bewildered before popping into thin air.

My life cleric, again yes my life cleric, pulls this unidentified signet ring from her pocket, slips it on, and ancient magic's the crap out of the "judge/mayor", completely removing them from the courtroom that fades away as screeching is heard, only to appear in the corn fields. Infront of them stands the defense attorney, prosecutor and original judge who slams his gavel down into thin air which magically makes a loud bang and exclaims, "NOT GUILTY". the three of them then disappear, again, into thin air.

My unemployed former pirate refused the family grimiore they found because it couldn't make him money easily. My Warlock who collects books happily took it!

After being paid and very rudely being told by their client, that no, he wouldn't be sharing family antiques with them and diverted them to the antique store, their dreams were crushed at once when they learned the business was closed.

I'll take them antiquing next time, promise.

[quackingquazy]

The conversation that was had in today's session, through many laughs.

me >"I'd like to bash the dwarf in the face with my quarter staff." (for the second time)

Cleric >"Wait, aren't you a wizard? Don't you have magic?"

Dm > "Yeah you're a wizard, You're a wizard OP!"

me> "You know what makes it funny is I'm supposed to be anti-violence too!"

Cleric >"You're a wizard and a pacifist and you're doing all this bashing"

me > "AND, I'm supposed to be a conscientious objector!"

Dm >"so much has changed since the beginning of the campaign"

the laughter dies down and I meet eyes with the Dm.

...

me > "so, fire bolt?"

[quackingquazy]

Things my players did instead of sticking to my script

Threw a player through a window feet first, they volunteered.

Persuaded an ogre family into joining a relocation program, instead of killing them, this was very off script.

Continually picked up the book that burned their hands, same player from the window mishap.

My life cleric refused my special true resurrection socks because I explained it in a way that sounded VERY MUCH LIKE NECROMANCY, but my life cleric is now snow white, after I declared they were true resurrection socks.

When being arrested for breaking laws they don't even know about, became the definition of civil disobedience by going limp and asking for badge numbers they were NOT provided, one player tripped as many cops as possible with their tail, window player punched a total of three cops.

Life cleric goes, "Do you know who my God is!"

Queue party all yelling about who their god is and how people will be sorry.

I love my party.

[quackingquazy]

Fanfic writers, specifically of the wrong-boy-who-lived-genre. Why is Harry renamed Hadrian, Hadriel, or Harrison; Whilst the twin is named Ray, Bob, John, or something of the sort?