quarkqueen

just a young bean tryna navigate the life of academia, feelings, physics, and art

[quarkqueen]

when the tulip falls dry

and the sky is painted black,

don’t leave what you thought you knew,

don’t leave what you felt was true.

part of me has crumbled,

but my stems are still strong.

When my weakness becomes your worry,

your worry becomes mine,

and the cage I thought was far gone,

returns, and without a key

where freedom is not without plea

where dignity now comes with a fee

and in the cage is only me. 

[quarkqueen]

you ain’t a math dept admin unless you deny every waiver request you get

[quarkqueen]

Mediocrity

It’s recently occurred to me that people in my program often feel really really stupid, while thinking everyone else is a genius compared to them. And this is why everyone in my program has impostor syndrome. Recently, I’ve found a way out of it - not completely, but better than before. I used to be terrified of the word “average” and would cringe at the thought of it being me. But recently I’ve learned how liberating it can be to accept yourself as average, because really everyone is. Even the best of the best are gravely lacking in some department in their life. So maybe I should just chill the fuck out and enjoy learning ??? I don’t know, it’s still a learning process for me, but it’s nice to know that those around me aren’t feeling too differently. 

[quarkqueen]

thermal physics is  t r a s h

[quarkqueen]

[quarkqueen]

it's trivial.

profs who don’t actually know the proof and subsequently have fragile egos

[quarkqueen]

alright bitches listen up this is a psa if your matrix isnt row reduced you might as well fucking give up now because u are trash and wont get anywhere in life