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Doug Jones
occasionally subtle
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gracie abrams

bliss lane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver

Love Begins

Andulka
𓃗
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

tannertan36
almost home
Not today Justin
No title available
The Bowery Presents
Cosmic Funnies

Product Placement
noise dept.

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@queenscoveforthewin
happy new year -------------_--------------------
@kkobweek day 6: Uchiha clan! With some implied narusasu again hehe. They are supportive, in their own way! Kakashi-kun, you're basically already one of us!
why can i feel the claws of naruto trying to drag me back... spent like that last 2 weeks with 3 different naruto fics percolating in the back of my mind like proofing bread
first is of course the new prompt series one except actually covering sasuke and naruto's meeting instead of jumping into the future. or maybe alternating... kind of like how i did a year and a day. uzu never falls, kushina becomes pregnant with naruto on a mission to steal the scroll of forbidden techniques and then absconds with the scroll and, unknowingly, minato's son. uzu closes it walls, no uchiha massacre, and on sasuke's first mission out of the village (bridge escort to wave) he's given the curse seal by orochimaru and kidnapped. orochimaru doesn't make it out of wave, instead running into naruto's genin team and his jounin sensei chases him off. but now what to do with a cursed and injured sasuke? protocol states returning him to his team, since they are allies, but naruto insists on bringing him into uzu even though outsiders are not allowed so that they can save him from the curse seal. jounin says no, naruto carries sasuke on his back, flashes his eyes and says well, let's see them not let me in. and of course they do. kushina is like what are we going to do with you? and he insists on helping sasuke, who's in pain and scared and doesn't understand what's happening, but agrees to whatever it takes. naruto uses the demon chakra to burn out sasuke's chakra coils to get rid of the curse seal. the next few weeks the uchiha and konoha thinks he's dead, but he's just recovering and hanging out in uzu with naruto. and he keeps it a secret when he leaves but he and naruto meet up together again, and again, and again
second is the same premise as godnonsensical - mikoto secretly taking care of naruto and encouraging sasuke to be friends with him out of loyalty to kushina - but with a different result. shisui doesn't die, instead washing up on the side of the river mostly dead right where naruto and sasuke are playing. naruto screaming for help, knowing that the anbu are watching him, and it breaks protocal but kakashi comes out. shisui tells them what danzo is planning, what itachi is going to do. naruto and sasuke run to the compound while kakashi takes shisui to the hospital and goes to get the hokage, which he doesn't like, but realistically sasuke and naruto are safe. mikoto and fugaku are alerted, meet itachi at the gates, stalling him. itachi doesn't want to do it but he points at sasuke and asks if they want him to die, mikoto saying it's too late sasuke and naruto know the truth, itachi saying he can make them forget. danzo, hokage, and kakashi show up. hokage puts a stop to it, orders itachi to execute danzo for treason instead. hokage still considers punishing the uchiha, but naruto leverages his loyalty and status as a demon container against the hokage, saying the uchiha have always taken care of him and if he hurts them, he'll let the fox finish what it started (a lie, of course it's a lie, but he's a kid and he's scared and a he could do it, is the thing. he won't. but he could). so the uchiha basically get away with it and now naruto and the uchiha are twined together, both hated and feared by the village and unwilling to abandon the other. kakashi joining the uchiha to keep an eye on them for the hokage but also to take care of naruto since he knows about him now. sasuke and naruto are pulled from the academy and made apprentice to itachi (incredibly fucked up by the whole situation) and kakashi respectively. are twelve and should be chunin by now but the council won't allow it, still distrustful of them, says they have to get promoted the old fashioned way. so naruto and sasuke are put on a team with the top kunoichi, sakura, with shikaku as their jounin sensei. shikaku there to see if these kids are as much a threat to the village as everyone seems to think and sakura, with her weak civilian background, is another test. can naruto and sasuke work with her long enough to become chunin or are they complete lone wolves? can a civillian overcome all her prejudices and learn to trust them?
third is sasuke time travels back to them becoming genin after finally getting it beat into him that naruto really does mean all the bullshit he says and there's literally nothing sasuke can do to lose his love and affection. and he knows what's coming, he knows how all the pieces fit together, and he knows so much of this is going to come down to him and naruto kicking everyone's ass. and he's tired. he'll push them more in training, use all the shortcuts he can since he knows what they end up becoming, but the truth is that right now this is just a waiting game. this go around he's just going to believe in naruto from the beginning and skip a lot of the bullshit, so they'll get strong enough to take out the akatsuki and save the world without nearly losing it first. struggles talking to naruto because they haven't even had the wave mission yet, they're not what they were, and ends up just telling naruto he likes him. only naruto misunderstands and is like you LIKE ME? and sasuke goes to correct him and is like. well. this actually isn't a bad excuse. and it's not like it's anything they both haven't been accused of through the years. this way he can blame some of his more childish avoidant behaviors on having a crush on naruto and not wanting anyone to know. so he says yeah, but don't worry about it. but naruto gets upset, thinking that sasuke is trying to be cruel to him, and sasuke panics and goes, i like your eyes, i like blue. which is true, but not like that, but naruto looks at him and actually seems to buy it. and then naruto goes quiet and tells sasuke he doesn't like him like that and he's sorry. and sasuke feels a pang of fondness for even back then, back when pretty much everyone still hated him and he was alone, there's this core of kindness in him. sasuke's never had that. maybe naruto can teach him. and sasuke says it's fine, he gets it, no worries. thinks that'll be the end of it. but the next day naruto starts to greet and hit on sakura, freezes, and gives her a normal greeting instead and does the same to sasuke, rubbing the back of his head. and sasuke doesn't get it and then he does. naruto is worried him pursuing sakura will hurt his feelings, since he told the idiot he has a crush on him, so he's not doing it. and there's that sweetness again, that consideration that sakura has certainly never given him when she's giving sasuke heart eyes. and it just changes the dynamic completely (real love triangle could have saved team 7). because even though naruto doesn't like sasuke, he doesn't want to hurt him. so when they have a mission of clearing out a field, he picks out a bouquet of flowers for sakura and sasuke, so it's fair, and sakura doesn't have any reason to say no if sasuke is getting one too, so she doesn't. and eventually sakura picks up on what naruto is doing and why and decides to do the same thing. she brings snacks to share with both naruto and sasuke and so sasuke doesn't reject them and stops talking about her crush on sasuke and it actually lets him relax a little with her. and they actually become friends and her crush falls away. except naruto keeps being sweet and fair and considerate to sasuke and at some point sasuke realizes his crush on naruto isn't a lie anymore. which really sucks since naruto has never once wavered on not liking him back
i am being tortured
I am dying, these all sound so so good but the first one and the last one have me in a chokehold, please come back to Naruto, please, please, I need these (your other fandoms will understand, its okay, come baaaack)
#tbh wanted to draw little guys
Naruto the #1 yearner of all time doesn't even stop after being married to his love for 20 years
You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.
Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌
Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.
I mean this with all due respect:
You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.
Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.
Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.
If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.
You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.
Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer
Two Utah court clerks have been dubbed "anti-ICE vigilantes" after they were allegedly caught "sneaking" immigrants out the back door of the
That's how you show real solidarity!
"After they overheard that ICE was at the courthouse to arrest someone, they improperly accessed court databases to determine who was not born in the United States," a DOJ detention filing says. "They then snuck every suspected illegal alien who was at the courthouse out a back door, where ICE, who was waiting in the parking lot for their target to leave the building, could not see them."
Think about what you can do at your job or in your daily life to resist fascism when the opportunity presents itself!
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself
Whitsantos
Human Is is a 1955 Philip K. Dick sci-fi short story where a guy goes to another planet for work and when he comes back to Earth his personality has flipped from an asshole to a sweet, kind, considerate man. Everyone's immediately convinced that an alien has taken over his body, this goes all the way to court, and in court his wife testifies that she's noticed no changes at all and so the charges are dropped.
And then there's a bit right at the end of the story as the wife and the husband are walking out of court:
Jill turned abruptly. "What is your name? Your real name."
The man's gray eyes flickered. He smiled a little, kind, gentle smile. "I'm afraid you would not be able to pronounce it. The sounds cannot be formed..."
Jill was silent as they walked along, deep in thought. The city lights were coming on all around them. Bright yellow spots in the gloom. "What are you thinking?" the man asked.
"I was thinking perhaps I will still call you Lester," Jill said. "If you don't mind."
"I don't mind," the man said. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. He gazed down tenderly as they walked through the thickening darkness, between the yellow candles of light that marked the way. "Anything you wish. Whatever will make you happy."
And I. God. There's something there. A soupcon of monsterfuckery. To tell your partner in a moment of intimacy that yes, you're something so inhuman that the lips you're stealing can't speak your actual name. You're a parasite that not only had the ability to burrow under this man's skin and take over his life, but you were so desperate to escape a dead, dry, blasted planet that you did.
And for your partner to then turn around and go "I know, I've always known, and I love you" is just. God I know it's not a great Dick story but something about it is making me lose my mind
Also it's explicitly stated that the guy's consciousness is still alive and preserved on the alien planet. Jill is told this and then proceeds to defend the alien anyways, ensuring that her husband's brain is stuck in a jar on a desert planet. You love to see it
dennis and trinity enter a marriage of convenience for the legal benefits bc being each other’s emergency contact isn’t enough sometimes and also for the tax benefits
they keep their last names and don’t tell anybody about it and at some point they forget that they’re even married
they realize the downside of this plan bc both of them are falling for their much older attendings (robby and baran) and don’t feel like they can pursue them in good conscience while legally married
dennis and trinity have spent long nights lamenting about robby and baran respectively and know that they’re too down bad for it to just be a crush
one day trinity walks up to dennis with a large folder and, in a not so subtle manner, abruptly says “hey huck, i think we should get divorced. I already found a lawyer and here’s some paperwork. we can fill it out in the break room”
everyone stops what they’re doing immediately.
no one had any idea that santos and whitaker were married, let alone that their marriage was apparently falling apart to the point where she would publicly declare divorce.
they all stop and watch whitaker to see how he’ll react, expecting him to act shocked or hurt.
instead he just looks up from his computer and says, “yeah one sec. let me finish up this chart and i’ll meet you in there”
santos nods and ruffles his hair before heading toward the break room. she doesn’t notice the way everyone is staring at them.
KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
I screenshotted these tags by @hetrez on someone else's post because what they say here resonated So Hard with me, but then I wasn't sure if it was good etiquette to reblog the original post with these tags attached as a screenshot or if etiquette dictates that only original posters reblog their posts with peer reviewed tag screenshots (open to feedback on this!), so I just sat on it. And now I can't find the original post these were attached to. But I still want to amplify them because they are Important To Me, so here you go.
Greatest hits of FIFA cultural exchanges thus far:
Learning about flyovers and pyrotechnics at American games being a thing
Non-americans discovering the size of American football stadiums....for high schools in texas. Also the size of our stadiums in general.
Going to baseball games as a side treat! Lmao.
Non-americans losing their minds over "like, 100 petrol pumps," at buc-ees.
Related: Americans often forget how huge target and Walmart is.
People discovering American BBQ
Non-americans being obsessed with mid American restaurant chains like Golden Corral and Taco Bell
A lot of them really did feel god in this chile's apparently
The rightful obsession with waffle house
New understanding of American Big Drink With Ice supremacy as summer creeps in
Begrudging acceptance of mandatory water breaks during games
Americans realizing we have a Team USA and we are not, in fact, just "hosting our friends" from around the world — mostly because we won our first match and our team is decent??? Not amazing but not the worst.
Side rant: us women's football team is legendary good and we should care about that more like. Hello???
Admitting Americans are right about air conditioning
Related: the english team did warm ups in Florida RIP, and also the there's a video of the French team just being like fuck the heat, fuck the sun, this is so hot...
Americans who do not normally care about international football but fucking love a sport and cheering so we're just hyping whatever team is nearby, like we see a party and just show up and learn the chant. Like sorry many of us don't know shit about soccer but if we see a bunch of people in viking helmets or kilts or holding a bunch of flags and cheering we're game.
TAILGATING!!!!
I already said this but American yellow school bus is an international celebrity
The Scottish drank Boston dry of beer apparently, like they quadrupled what Boston normally sells for fourth of July weekend. SAM ADAMS HAD TO GET AN EMERGENCY BEER DELIVERY.
Also the English team fans got kicked out of The Londoner pub in Dallas after drinking 5,000 beers and going over max capacity lmao
Free refill drinks, tortilla chips & salsa.
So many non-americans are going to be here for the 4th of July for our 250th anniversary which is going to be great and hilarious
Non-americans discovering ranch as a beloved condiment
Non-americans understanding American obsession with hamburger now
Japan's homebase is in Texas and the cultural differences are frankly great and also the Japanese fans are SO NICE and helped clean up the stadium after a match???
All the short videos with the eagle screech (which I think is actually a hawk but whatever)
Like yeah America's government is literally the Legion of Doom, but we generally aren't that bad. I'm glad the world is seeing the little things that there are to love in America.