THEY SAY BEFORE YOU DIE that your life will flash before your eyes, but renora alvarez will deny that fact all the way down to hel & back. she’s died before, & all she remembers is the singular thought of, ’ I DESERVE THIS ‘ as the dagger her mother wields is lodged deep into her chest; that, & the scent of her mother’s perfume.
what she WILL tell you, however, is that when you watch the building the love of your life is in explode into a fiery inferno, that every little thing about her will fill your heart right as it plummets deep into your gut. her smile & the way it creates dimples in perfectly pale cheeks to the way she always insists on wearing socks to bed, or the way she prefers to read by candlelight in the reader’s nook rather than the cold, yellow light of the study.
& as her feet carry her forward, AGAINST the screaming throngs of people surging away from the explosion, she remembers the way songyi used to hum songs as she made coffee every morning – the same tune, every time ‘ my mother used to sing it to me when I was little ‘ – & fuck, now she can’t get it out of her head as she bursts through the front doors. the building sags with the loss of support but renora can’t be bothered, nor does she care the flames that lick at her clothes ( WHAT WAS FIRE TO A WOMAN WHO WAS BUILT OF IT, AFTER ALL? )
“ songyi! “ she calls into the billowing smoke, echoed by the sounds of crumbling architecture. their typical private booth is in the far back, & it takes nothing short of her supernatural strength to remove the debris as it blocks her path. “ MOON! “
ANGELS ARE SAID to come borne on a ray of heavenly light, to guide you to the grace of god but when renora steps through the flames it is nothing short of the will of the devil; a HELLBEAST in angel’s disguise come to pull songyi from the wreckage. save for the fact that as she nears the form of her barely conscious lover, the warning creak of the floor above them groans out with a whining pitch & it’s two seconds to react or songyi would be no more. as it comes collapsing down, the form of the hellhound in its full monstrosity looms over the petite woman; concrete & plywood raining against its back with enough force to buckle his knees & grunt out in pain but he does not move until the chaos has stilled & he can shoulder it from his body.
“ I’ve got you. “ & how DARE she not be there to protect songyi when she was needed most? after the recent discovery by her father, the woman was more vulnerable than ever & for the rest of her years, the image of the woman’s broken body would haunt her every heartbeat. clutching her close to his chest, ren carries her from the wreckage, down the alley, & into the night to return to her estate so that she may use ALL THE POWERS SHE HAS to keep the love of her life from dying over her mistake.
Her night had been restless. She had dreamed of screams and the only sights that she remembered of the family she had called her own almost twenty years past. Each breath that she had taken had felt as if acid was trickling down her throat. But when she awoke, she was draped her in silken sheets, comfortable in her loungewear just like any other night that she spent alone. Truly, she did feel better in the arms of another but one couldn’t barge in after too many light office nights, she would have only felt rude and therefore, she sunk into her own bed.
When she awoke from her nightmare in a flood of tears, she felt almost ashamed of herself. If only father could see me now, she thought, Still as weak as he had ever thought of me. The same went for both of her fathers, her first dead, and the second now estranged. Her track record for family did not seem to go quite the way that she wanted. Nevertheless, she had Ren, and for that she was thankful even if she had lost her family for her romance with the mother of the mafia. But even when her thoughts strayed to the woman that she loved, there was something within her chest bubbling that just did not feel right to the attorney.
Her pale hands reached to her phone, beginning to type in the number of her loved one.
And then.
The building was embraced by flame.
Songyi had rarely thought of her death, or how it would happen. The woman had only believed that when the time came for her life to end, that she would deserve it regardless of the means. The attorney had done horrible things, released awful people to walk along the streets like saints and ended the lives of people who were only deserving of extra years. She was no saint. And she knew why she was to meet that end, and if her father who had given her a life regardless of her being thrown to the wolves then, she would gracefully accept it. Truly, she was not worthy to live the life that she did.
In what she thought to be her last moments, her mind began to slow, and her thoughts paced themselves. She’s suffering, dying, in-between her assumed last breaths. It wasn’t like any feeling she had before, her mind racing with thoughts but none of them seemed to be important. For a woman that had spent the better part of her last decade in an attempt to erase her memories of her past through cocktails of alcohol, drugs and everything through and through that she thought would have been able to help, the way that she fell to ease was undeniably different in a complete parallel to any physical pain.
It was a sweet memory, bittersweet, her mother reading her a bedtime story and then her taking her out of school for a day to bring her around the local parks. A lot of daises had been in bloom then, and ever since Songyi had adored the simple flowers – in fact, she still kept one from that day pressed into a book that she held dear. It was before her illness, before the orphanage, before her second family – it was before everything. She had truly seemed to lose her memories until her last moment. The way that people listened to her, respected her and put their faith in her – none of that brought anything out of her, not like that one memory had.
And then her mind drifted further as unconsciousness began to settle in. And in the seconds before it faded to dark, she swore she could have heard Ren calling for her. Ah, Ren. Songyi had lovers before the woman, but none that she had adored so much and none that had come close to having the attorney open up to her. The way that she held her, and the way that she cared for the broken woman. Perhaps that was her worst personal fault, that she would never have been able to thank the woman for everything she gave her. Gods, she hoped, Let her find a better woman, someone to make her happy.
As her eyes closed the last image to come into her view was that of the dark hellbeast before her. She was too tired, too far gone to admit that it had been reality – she could only think in horror of it as a sign of the hell to become of her if there was indeed an afterlife. Death was to be as kind to her as life, it seemed, and therefore, she could never let go of her sin.
Sensation returned to her body first. And then, the agonising pain. But yet, Songyi’s mind flashed surprised at her very being – surely, this was a mistake, there had been no way for her to have survived the flame of her home nor was there any way that it had been a dream, she had nightmares in the past but that was too real. But if so, how in any way did she survive? And as she looked around the room that she sat in, pressed comfortably into a soft bed, she began to click as to where she was.
Ren. But her love was nowhere in her blurry line of sight. She could only vaguely make out the dated clock across the room. Three weeks, it had been since that day.
Had her voice in her last moments truly been an illusion of her mind? And what of the beast? It was too much of a question for her, especially when she had just woken. The burns adorning her skin were seething, and her heart racing. What curse had left her breathing even after her – attempted – assassination? Was there some cruel god above playing tricks on her? Songyi believed nothing besides that she truly deserved death – though maybe writhing in the pain of embers was punishment enough.
❛ Hello? ❜ Her voice echoed, hoarse and quiet – travelling through the empty home in hope that someone may have heard her.
& * || A HEAVY SIGH greeted the other in response, a single tattooed hand LIFTING to swipe at his bloodied cheek. A smear of DEEP, harsh scarlet was left behind, marring perfectly PALE skin as the assassin finally moved to drop the briefcase clasped in his hand. Broad shoulders were WEIGHED down with the weight of unspoken HORRORS, of the many lives he had taken within the BLINK of an eye. He was a man of DARKNESS, playing God and the DEVIL all at once.
❝ It’s not my own. ❞ Zaiden finally murmured, voice HUSHED and ragged with the exhaustion he refused to PORTRAY in his posture. Instead, hands moved to undo his trenchchoat. ❝ Tonight got a bit…. MESSIER than expected. ❞
Murder should be left to those who did it best, Songyi firmly believed so anyhow. She had always preferred the quick, clean and easy methods of such but the responsibility of such acts rarely fell upon her pale shoulders – the attorney was only there to clean up and deal with the reckless aftermath. It was a skill to get things done, so long it was for business, though she would not call it any type of art like others she knew. Guilt occasionally weighed down on her shoulders, and she had begun to wonder if trifling within such organisations would ever pay her debts, or more so would she ever be redeemed for her unspeakable actions.
❛ I had gathered that much, ❜ she chuckled, hand reaching down to grab a soaked cloth and handing it to him. The sight of blood had never been particularly pleasant to her, nor the smell but the young woman had grown desensitised. It didn’t mean that she didn’t try and rid of it as soon as she saw it. ❛ It looks that way doesn’t it? Is there ever a need to be this messy – you smell awful, truly, awful. You people, ❜ assassins, that was, ❛ I don’t understand just how you do it. I could never handle the stress of killing constantly. Ah, regardless, do you need help cleaning yourself up. ❜
''You have been spoken about, by the trees, they were silent.''
( BOOK STARTERS, FIGHT CLUB | @oculvus )
Why did she even try? She had all but given up on trying tounderstand many words that spilled from her friend’s red lips. Her words werealways so cryptic to Songyi, most and many rang through her ears as a threatbut Ara always had that air to the attorney. The other was as deadly as she wasbeautiful, the bloodiest budding rose in the bunch. Whatever she spoke of,under the murky, forsaken mist of the night only lit by the dull moonlight thatthey walked under through the dark streets, the attorney would admit that shefound herself relived that ‘the trees’(she would not pry into Ara’s associates, she knew that it would not end inanything good) spoke nothing of her.
❛ That, I can appreciate. ❜ A smile crossed its way over her plump lips,looking down to the belle. ❛ Ah, you are quite something, Ara. Every time we meet I can onlywonder what an interesting case you would be, though if everyone I knew was assmart as you I would be out of a job. Nonetheless, are you keeping well? Areyou eating alright? I worry about you sometimes, you are quite enigmatic. ❜
songyi would not have described herself as particularly raunchy or outgoing, especially in a club atmosphere. she was an important woman, after all, and a lot rode on her shoulders especially within her family so there was absolutely no excuse for her to go out and get out of hand. had she decided that it had been a good idea anyway? in some tribute to her earlier twenties when she was ending her university recklessness, yes, she had. she had gone out with a few family associates that were vying to get closer to the inner circle, rather unsuccessfully, though no one too close. all she needed was an excuse to crack open a bottle (or a few) was a few words of encouragement. and with that, she was off.
indeed, it was just like a night that she would have had in university – seeing as it had ended up with her pouting drunkenly in bella’s apartment sulking at her lack of attention. she felt bad about knocking her door down in the middle of the night, scantily dressed in her club clothing wanting to see her but hey, her mind wasn’t having the best time putting together why she had decided to do that – the only thing that she could focus on was how damn pretty the goddess was. ❛ i know i’ve told you a thousand times, but you’re so damn cute ❜ it was more likely like the thousandth time that night but the lawyer continued to gush as she sprawled out over the other’s bed happily in her stupor, ❛ i’m sorry for coming here so late, please don’t be mad at me, i just really wanted to see you. ❜ at least she was being honest, that seemed like a first.
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⋘ SMS : dark moon ⋙ is money all that matters to you?
⋘ SMS : dark moon ⋙ do you not get the importance of my request?
⋘ SMS : dark moon ⋙ they are kids and you are risking their families to never see them again
⋘ SMS : dark moon ⋙ I will find you.
『 SMS : crimson butterfly 』Compassion doesn’t pay the bills, my dear.
『 SMS : crimson butterfly 』I understand the importance, I just don’t know if I have the time to follow through with it. You know how awful I am at promises.
『 SMS : crimson butterfly 』 I’m not denying that.
『 SMS : crimson butterfly 』 I doubt that. You can try, it’ll have no bearing on your request.
『 SMS : crimson butterfly 』 I’m doing my best, for you.
» FRACTURED ! — A frown adorned her forehead whilst her dark hues were focused on the beautiful woman in front of her. A sigh brushed over slightly parted lips before the tip of her tongue licked the dryness away. Slender arms were crossed right in front of her chest and she shook her head. Brown long locks fell into waves, moved along with her movement. “Nothing else? Just because we were drunk?” Jessica tilted her head to the side a brazen simper tugged at the left corner of her lips. “I don’t believe you at all. If it was just that it could have happened so often before. Who do you try to kid Songyi?” The simper vanished and left on the face of the demoness was a serious expression. She didn’t believe – perhaps she didn’t want to believe her. The line between those two thoughts was so thin that she wasn’t sure herself. Albeit, one question was left – Why didn’t she believe the other told the truth, why didn’t she want this to be the truth?
arguments like that made her feel like she was a reckless college student again, locking lips with anyone in sight after a few too many and having to weasel herself out of an awkward well in the morning. it was something to see that she still hadn’t been able to get out of her naïve ways from that time of her life though it seemed like it was going to be a lot harder for her to reason out of her encounter with the brunette. ❛ nothing more, we can all get a little loose after a few drinks – it could have been any pretty girl. it didn’t have to be you. ❜ she affirmed under a pretence of bravado, pursing her plump lips as the attorney attempted to retain non-flickering eye contact. she couldn’t. she found it difficult to maintain anything but arrogance in the face of confrontation – even which she found odd, why did the other seem to care so much? and why did songyi feel so compelled to prove she didn’t?
pulling an unlit cigarette from between her lips in frustration, her dark eyes surveyed over the beauty’s face. ❛ maybe it could have happened before, and i’m not trying to kid you. we all make mistakes right? ❜ songyi provoked her lightly, stepping closer. her compulsion to prove that she was right was admittedly wrongly placed – songyi knew that, she only hoped the demoness would believe her performance. part of her mind seemed as if it was in turmoil – she did seem to be going hard for proving she felt nothing. that was normal, right?
“Defense doesn’t tend to be Sherlock’s purview.”
Honestly, Joan can imagine a world where everyone’s been snatched up by The Rapture faster than she can picture Sherlock sitting down to talk peaceably with a defense attorney. Her friend has a lot of feelings about pretty much EVERYTHING, especially the hyper-competitive nature of the American justice system. The moment anyone is foolish enough to mention a killer who was allowed to walk free, they’re doomed to an hour-long lecture about behaving in the public interest and the general stupidity of the sort of people who are selected to serve on juries.
The anniversary of the OJ case had been a living nightmare.
She had thrown an empty water bottle at his head more than once.
❛ i’ll try and not take it too personally, i’ve had a lot worse from detectives than simply not wanting to talk to me. ❜
songyi can’t say that she would have blamed him. those who shared her profession were usually look down upon as leeches of the law, mothering the criminals that walked out of the courtroom just to beat down someone for a stick of gum. thankfully, they were rarely songyi’s problem – at least, she knew that most of whom she dealt for where guilty and that she wasn’t kidding herself pretending that they were saints in the wrong place. additionally, at least most other attorneys were above table unlike her. detectives and prosecutors just seemed to be the other side of the coin and goodness, did they never want to listen to some morally skewed reasoning? it was no wonder that the two sides never appeared to play nice.
❛ did he send you instead then? i’m assuming. whether he wants to hear me out or not, though if you could pass on that i would have appreciated notice, i still have things to discuss. i have questions that need answered, and deals to attempt to cut even if detectives do seem to have brains filled with sawdust. ❜
( NPCS THAT AFFECTED MY MUSE | ALWAYS ACCEPTING | @braccati )
many of songyi’s relationships whether they be professional orpersonal seem to occur at the wrong time but with the right people. when songyi’sbrown irises flashed over son jiyeon’s feline features, she had been convincedthat she was the right one for her – even just for one night. songyi wasenjoying a lavish, carefree (for still being under the family eye) life as alaw student when she was eighteen years old when a naïve, cheerful deliverygirl decided to spill the entire contents of her midnight, study-inducedtakeout dinner all over her when she answered the door. laxer than she is ather current age, she took her in and cleaned her up, sending the beauty back onher way. it had taken her until the morning before she realised the other had scrawledher number over the fried chicken box.
their first few dates had been awkward, they felt too staged andit was clear that jiyeon didn’t enjoy the luxe and the atmosphere of the morehigh class restaurants around their campus. she’d been a senior art student atthe time, songyi had nothing but hearts in her eyes when she looked at her whenshe spoke about the subject that she was so passionate about especially withher stuck in a future bound by a non-existent debt, formed only by songyi’smisguided sense of loyalty and trust for her adoptive father. but when they’dstarted rolling around together at one of their respective apartments, studyingtogether, playing the odd video game and watching movies (songyi always remainedadamant she was the better player and had way better taste) the two seemed tofind their niche together.
jiyeon came to her at a time in her life however when songyi washaving a bit too much fun experiencing her freedoms. songyi liked to go out,she liked to have a few too many and stay out a bit too late for jiyeon’sliking. the other was always convinced of her infidelity and not to mentionthat she didn’t like her family at all ( ❛ theylook at everyone like they’re way above us – songyi, they make me feel like i’ma cockroach. it makes me so uncomfortable, i swear your brother wants to killme! ❜ ). songyi has nothing to say on the front of her infidelity,she didn’t remember after a few drinks anyway, and jiyeon had already made upher mind before she could even defend herself. it was much easier to do allthat however than admit to the mound of stress that was on her shoulders withher family’s criminal empire.
jiyeon stood by songyi for another two years. between thearguments and the distrust they still had something left between the two. therelationship wasn’t the most functioning, bordering toxic for the both of themwith the way that they argued. they played dirty in their arguments but kissedand made up after it had gone too south to save even if they didn’t see it atthe time. it was when the newly graduated lawyer started stepping out late atnight and came back with cuts and bruises that the two started to separate.their final explosive argument had been jiyeon arguing that she loved her toomuch to see her hurt and keeping secrets ( atruth ) and songyi arguing that she loved her too much to have her closeand see the danger and lies she was living (a truth ).
if one thing still remains, it was really difficult to kickjiyeon out of the apartment when she was in floods of tears.
“If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.”
( BOOK STARTERS, FIGHT CLUB | ACCEPTING | @rippuku )
rarely did songyiever like to concern herself with the tripe of the dead or the dying. perhapsit was because she was desensitised to it all, after all, people around herdied all the time it was just part of her job, and it was usually to thebenefit of her family so she kept her mouth shut when it came to giving eulogies.that was most likely why she hated hospitals so much – or maybe it was thesmell of death and the elderly mixed together only lightly masked by assorted medicalfluid and dollar store air freshener – and even spending a second of her timein them. despite her best intentions to keep herself away from them, that waswhere she had found herself under the line of familial criminal duty.
as her earspricked up to the stranger’s words, however, she did make an acknowledge thathe was correct. even if she did like to think that she wasn’t concerned, shedid give her brother a tad more benefit of the doubt when he was injured. infact, it was her listening to a potentially dying stranger years ago that hadset her path to success and moral bankruptcy all those years ago. and again,why she was there that very day. a slave to family and duty, and wantingsomeone to pass before they awoke from their coma natural or no, though thelatter reasoning was more so to avoid prison. the injured and dying madetrustworthy, sympathy farming court witness and they weren’t worth the risk. awoman of the law didn’t have to be a moral one, no?
❛ you’re right, ❜ the attorney nodded, offering a polite smile and nod to thestranger as she responded, ❛ people don’t listen enough these days, do they? they’re soquick to jump to conclusions. i suppose they’re lucky in some sort of way, thathas to be some kind of irony right? you have to die to finally get people tolisten to you. that’s why it’s important to listen to people when they’re inthis last moment, they might have something important to say. ❜
eh, songyi wouldreadily admit she wasn’t the shining beacon of polite conversation. it wasdifficult enough for anyone to remain composed when they were wandering into avisiting ward to end a man’s life – if she’d had her way she would have been athome with order-in food and a movie but there she was on her day off. she wasdoing her best though, to appear like any other normal person there that waseven with her devoid ‘people-skills’.
❛ a morbid yet fitting subject for a hospital, though. youshouldn’t let thoughts like that cloud a nice day. you should be more positive,❜ her expressionmade an attempt to warm despite her unease, ❛ what brings you here today anyway? i sincerelyhope nothing that mirrors your words, that would be quite unfortunate. ❜
“ as an attorney, i’d imagine if cops caught them all you’d be too busy for a hobby. “ the mafioso just grins, looking to songyi with a wink. “ i, however, would be out quite a lot of employees. “ reaching towards her, tan fingers entwined with songyi’s pale, & pull her forward. “ unless of course, there’s something you’re not telling me about your down time. “
❛ scouting down every lose end roaming around the streets for both my father and you proves hobby enough for me, and i prefer that to being neck deep in paperwork. ❜ she pulls herself into her lover's hand, warm breath exhaling from her plump, parted lips. she slips a hand around the mobster's waist, pulling her body closer to her own. ❛ surely, in theory, if that were to occur my life would turn nothing to cases. unless you might be hinting you would want rid of me, my dear? ❜ she's joking, kidding, pulling a coy smile as her lips fold into a mock pout. it's odd, being able to be in her embrace and have her so close. it almost makes her feel normal in their contained, finite roles.
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