Questioning Humanity

[quemanity]

I wish I could be loved gently...

[moonshadow-thoughts]

I wish I would belong somewhere. A friend group. A relationship.

But I never belong anywhere. I'm always just an outsider.

[quemanity]

I am very private person. I don't like sharing everything about my life on social media like other people my age do. And in my belief, if someone wants to know what I am up to, they should text or call me, not stalk me on instagram.

Also, I don't like knowing about other people's business when I don't have contact with them.

Is it the reason of me having two friends and one "best friend? They are my friends, but I'm never their first choice, not even in top 5... I didn't have any contact with my best friend for over a two months.

I see them having fun with their best friends seven days a week and we're meeting up once a month, even if I offer to hang out more often. It hurts, honestly.

In school I have a friend but they are only school friend. We almost never hang out outside school and they call me "an acquaintance" and does not share a thing of their life. No drama, hobbies or interests, we just talk about school in school.

How to make friendships? How to make people like me and actually care? I'm lonely and it gets suffocating because of that. I have no friend that I could tell all my worries to. I don't have a friend who would tell me all their worries... Where can I make friends?

I have a lot of hobbies I could talk about with people but where are the people?