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[questionablegenius]

Guilt and fear, my companions,

Countless are my medallions.

But not even one matters

The moment I stop my running.

Is there light beyond the tunnel,

Or only more of this endless struggle?

Failures so many,

Yet none that they can see.

Grant me some mercy—

Alone have I walked this journey.

[questionablegenius]

I would call myself a believer, but I would hesitate to associate with religion.

God is definitely hope, but is religion anything more than a tool for conflict, a demonstration of power, and a construct for division?

I hope not to offend anyone with this, but I don’t think anyone would even read it. This is what I would call “thinking on paper.”

The basis of my faith is simple: it is an attempt to relieve oneself from the feeling of helplessness. I haven’t relied on anyone for the goals and expectations others have set for me. As I said earlier, I was too empty to find a goal for myself. But I have come across this feeling quite often.

Helplessness seems to be a state people often find themselves in, and thus faith grows stronger.

Religion, on the other hand, seems to be a grey area. If someone asked me, “Do you believe in Jesus?”, I would say yes without hesitation. Why? Because that is what is expected and taught.

The existence of a God who would punish people for what they were taught to believe seems quite disheartening. Even thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine.

I don’t think I have read any religious text with seriousness, not even the Bible. I keep telling myself it would make me see the religion in people.

I can confirm three things:

One, that it would be easier to believe in a higher power protecting you when you are all alone.

Two, that I have everything to gain if God does exist and nothing to lose if He doesn’t (as Feynman said).

Three, sin is everything that brings pain to others.

What do u think?