Quick Tom Hanks Reviews

I decided to watch every film Tom Hanks has ever starred in. This is where I tell you what I think of them.

[quicktomhanks]

Ah, the “big” one (Ha! See what I did there?!) I doubt there’s anyone that hasn’t seen this. Oscar nominated as a result, and it’s quite deserved. Hanks as a 13 year old is all long limbs and awkwardness. In the bathroom scene, when he looks in his underpants... it breaks me every time. (Yeah, more underpants. *sigh*) His performance is what raised Big above the other body swap comedies that came out around 87/88/89.  I mean, I loved this film as a kid. As an adult, once you swoosh away the fact that it’s a 13 year old having sex in a 30 year old’s body… it’s a great film. I still want an apartment with a Pepsi vending machine in it, and like most people, Heart and Soul is the first thing I play at a piano. It’s a cultural touchstone. 

Rewatches: Again, hunners. I own it. I have watched it countless times in the last few months.

[quicktomhanks]

What can I say? This was made in 1986, so of course there’s rapping involved. It’s on Youtube, go find it, you won’t regret it. This is really Dan Ackroyd’s film, and he’s very good in it. Hanks is the comic relief, and he’s good at it. The whole thing is very spoofy but a little too reverential, so it misses the mark. The MASH fan in me gets excited at the appearance of Harry Morgan, but other than that, it’s a no from me.

Rewatches: None. No plans to either. Will watch the shit out of that Dragnet Rap video though. Forever.

[quicktomhanks]

So, this is the first straight role Tom Hanks did. And if I’m honest, I quite enjoyed it. Except for the sex scene. I’m not OK with the sex scenes (this will become a theme). He’s an injured RAF pilot stationed in Jerusalem, who falls in love with a Jewish girl from a very strict family. Shades of Romeo and Juliet. He looks very dashing in the uniform. It’s not too long, and as romantic films go, it’s very sweet.

Rewatches: None. Again, I found this difficult to get a hold of, found it once, and have not found it again. I probably would watch it again though. If anyone finds it on DVD, please let me know.

[quicktomhanks]

Probably most notable for being Jackie Gleason’s last film role, it’s not so much a slow burn as a damp squib. A fairly pedestrian family values storyline, but T.Hanks is pretty good in it. Probably the first time he does “proper” acting as well. 

Rewatches: None. I don’t think I’ve got this one. I acquired it from other sources, and I’m not in a rush to see it again tbh.

[quicktomhanks]

This, like Splash and Big, is one of those films that I must’ve seen loads of times. There was a time in the 80s/early 90s when it felt as though it was on telly every other weekend. It’s hilarious. Really, properly hilarious. If you like physical comedy, and silent stars like Buster Keaton, watch the hell out of this. Also has Hanks doing one of the most bizarre and yet infectious crazy, person gone mad laughs I’ve ever heard. Funny as all get out. 

Rewatches: Several. And will probably do several more. I don’t own this, but it’s on Netflix UK at the moment so get it down you while you can.

[quicktomhanks]

TERRIBLE Boston accent in this. Absolutely awful. He’s not ever really comfortable in these “rich guy out of water” roles. However, there’s funny bits, and it’s got John Candy. Also notable for being the film that got him and Rita Wilson together, so romance fans should enjoy it for that fact alone. 

Rewatches: None. This was almost impossible to get a hold of, and even buying it was a bit more than I’d like to spend. I managed to track it down on Youtube eventually. 

[quicktomhanks]

Honestly can barely remember anything about this one. Except for the tiny red budgie smugglers. I think the trauma of that was enough to erase the rest of the plot from my mind. It’s a sort of espionage/mistaken identity/tracked by the mob storyline, and he’s an “eccentric” musician. Carrie Fisher’s in it though, so that elevates it above a complete avoid.

Rewatches: None. I probably should to work out what’s going on. Again, I had to buy it to watch it, so I should get my money’s worth - all 50p of it.

[quicktomhanks]

Honestly can barely remember this. Lots of tit jokes and ladies in bikinis. He plays an annoying young bloke. If it’s your thing it’s your thing. Not for me though.

Rewatches: None. And I did have to buy this one to watch it once, which I’m still pissed off about.

[quicktomhanks]

If you haven’t seen this, you’re an idiot. It’s sweet and funny - even if it’s responsible for the name Madison being a thing. Also, John Candy. Get it watched. (Also, this is the first example of the Tom Hanks Swimming Clause. It happens a lot over the years. This is not to be mistaken with the Tom Hanks swimming *trunks* clause which is an altogether different and more disturbing occurance)

Rewatches: Many, MANY. I must have seen this film about 50 times over the years. I do not own it, though. It’s not that good. Actually, it is that good. I probably should.

[quicktomhanks]

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I do not recommend this film to anyone unless you’re doing what I did. And I don’t recommend that either. I won’t lie, part of the problem for me is that in this particular film, T.Hanks looks a lot like my ex-husband. Once you see something like that, you cannot unsee it. Even without that though, this is only advisable if you’re very much into your shitty 80s horror. 

Rewatches: None. If I could unwatch this I would, tbh.