PinkPersonette

Hi~ Call me Strawberry or Pinkie. she/her (Teenaged)

[quietpinkpersonette]

Always am I perfecting my love for you.

I love you no longer, and I love you still. Both are true, and can be true at the exact same time. A person beyond myself who haunts my being. Who is well intertwined in my self image, who has done unspeakable things to me. I find news ways to love you still. I beg nothing of you.

[quietpinkpersonette]

I enjoy doing things that make me happy, because I know it releases good hormones, and it makes me thing that the happiness I feel is healthy for my brain and body.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Item: The Bindle Rarity: ⏶ Common

What video game world would be your #1 travel destination?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, idk

[quietpinkpersonette]

Item: A Soft Pillow Rarity: ⏶ Common

What's your comfort game?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

Chess.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Its 10:36 PM

It's 10:36 PM, I'm in my bed, my eyes are closed, tears arise. I am SO mentally ill.

[quietpinkpersonette]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

As per usual, 39 days too late

[quietpinkpersonette]

During the Times

There are times at which I fully believe that it would be beneficial for me to be subject to total isolation.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Nothing I do will save me

Oh the little girl you are, my sweet baby. Nothing you do will save me, nothing can be done. Sweetheart, my love, I apologize. My darling child, who I hold so very dear, your mother apologizes. She loves you my baby. I love you my child. But nothing you do will save you. Absolutely nothing at all. I commend your honest hearted efforts, to salvage what is left of yourself, I do not commend your faith in failure, but my baby I do love you. My daughter, who I raised, who I loved, who I nurtured, my baby, who I birthed, who I've taught, who I love. My dearest, who is close to me, who is beautiful, who is bright, your efforts, my most cherished baby, are in vain. I love you ever the same

Nothing you do will save me.

[quietpinkpersonette]

And so comes Apathy

And so comes Apathy, and so Apathy comes. Apathy had class, for she gives fair warning. Apathy has grace, for she maintains routine. Apathy indulges in style, as she does is not reckless. Apathy does not know love, for she exhibits defilement. Apathy knows no boundaries, and she shows up uninvited. Compassion is a liar, for she puts on a face. Emptiness is a fool, for she believes she holds weight. They are both thieves, for they trick and they ruse. Who is now inside my head? Who can tell me, for I would like to know. What is this all consuming blackness which stains my heart and plagues my mind? Am I too fickle? Do I lack the sustenance to fare on my own? Is loneliness a disease potent enough to dismiss me? Am I apathetic? Do I fail to care and be considerate? Are the people around me simply beings? Did I love incorrectly? Am I worthy of failure? Is this worth anything at all? No it is not. Says the wise. And so comes apathy, or is she weariness in disguise?

[sugarandgloss]

periods suck.

[quietpinkpersonette]

why can't I be better?

[quietpinkpersonette]

I used to love my parents. When I was younger, she loved everyone, bar none. She was fond of every experience, and all she could wrap her eyes around was heaven. It should be made clear that when I say she, I am referring to myself when I was younger, as I see us as two different and separate people (in a sense). We have always been like this. Back onto track. I used to be very loving and open hearted as a little child. However, around the time when I gained consciousness for the second time, I stopped loving my parents as much. It became a dormant emotion. I realize now that what I occasionally feel for them is foremost appreciation. But it is hard to love someone who flaunts their flaws. I plan on distancing myself from them when I am able, in addition to this, I plan on never letting my future children (human or otherwise) meet them. I feel very upset that reality slapped me in the face when I was younger than I should've been when it did. I am truly disheartened that she had misplaced her faith and feelings. I love her, truly. Make no mistake, she lives on, dare I say she thrives, at times. But swift is the knife that scares her back into her hidey hole. I do not need, nor want, this knife to kill her. To murder her without care and then leave her body to rot. Rather, I desire that this knife makes her know who to trust and love, so that her faith and feelings are not wasted. For she is lovely, truly mesmerizing, and she places within me faith in our world. Faith that neither she, nor I will misplace one day. She is precious, and beautiful(have you seen her eyes?), and that is factual. She loves to love to a degree that I would like to love. My first daughter is mine own self. I hope I can do right by her, my adorable baby girl. The baby girl who is she, which was me, and who inspires me so much.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Hey so I like origami. I can prove this.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Yitters

[quietpinkpersonette]

Update

Tw: Depressing themes, to an extent, under the separator thingy

The year is 2024 and my life has been a whirlwind. I have struggled with depression for w while now and more often it has occurred to me that I might not live to see my 25th birthday. My source of sorrow is my parents. I do not want to live like this. I think this isn't good. I have lost a friend, I do not know why. I refuse to love. I have made a friend. I want diamonds and pearls. I treasure writing. What is next? One of the earliest times I have wanted to be dead I was between the ages of 8 to 10. My parents make me want to kill myself. I like immersive sounds. I want to be kid. I need to be considerate. It is all I have. I want my clothes, the neat. formal ones to go to my best friend. My writings can go to my dear friends. My accessories go to my companion in crime. I wrote this on paper and copied it here. 🍓~ Out.

[quietpinkpersonette]

I lied. I want all my things to be burned. My writings can be buried with me, the world has no write to my reality, and my thoughts and prayers shall stay closed off.

[quietpinkpersonette]

Mind your sanity

[quietpinkpersonette]

I should better my relationship with God. He really is the only good person in my life. He doesn’t change and he isn’t quick to anger. Sometimes I ask: “Does Jehovah love me, or was I born and put through all this for the sake of being punished?”

I cannot say for a fact that I am comfortable with my family. I don’t trust them. I don’t trust their character. Jehovah is very different, he is good.

In the case he doesn’t love me, which probably isn’t true, I should do my utmost to serve him. This is because he has the best things in store for those who love him.

In the case he loves me. And as I wrote this I began to cry. Then I will be happy, and I will continue on living. And I will live in accordance to His will.

I don’t feel the support of my friends, and I am tired of reaching out. I want to be happy.