It wasn't that he didn't love the subject material; it wasn't that he didn't have a great thirst for learning; and it wasn't even that the teaching was slow, or boring, or beneath his level. Hogwarts was the best wizarding school in existence, and it was everything Kankri had wanted it, expected it, to be, and more. If there were ever a perfect school for him, it would undoubtedly be this one.
Yet still, his mind drifted. His quill sat idly in his limp hand, and his eyes lidded halfway. He wasn't bored, or tired, or any manner of restless; by all accounts, he had everything he wanted in life.
Unfortunately, that included his brother.
Dave was a character like no other. Playful, impulsive, easily distracted -- prone to 'ironic' antics and overall nonsense that had no place in a classroom. He was a trouble child, the metaphorical devil to Kankri's angel -- if class disruptiveness were the only defining category.
Anyone would find that distracting, particularly if they sat beside him -- and Kankri sat beside him. He picked that seat, because of all the things about Dave, his boyish antics weren't what distracted Kankri.
Dave. Just Dave. He didn't have to do anything. In honesty, Kankri didn't even have to look at him. He knew he was there. He could see him in his mind's eye, down to every last detail. The sway of his bangs, the glint on his shades, the curve of his smile... everything, down to the last freckle. Kankri knew his brother by heart.
He knew what his skin felt like. Sometimes Dave would bump him under the table, nudge knees together or brush hands, usually either to check on him, or laugh at the teacher with him, or ask him to explain a topic -- Dave had plenty of reasons to touch him, though he didn't need a single one. They were always touching. Kankri knew what Dave felt like -- knew what his presence felt like, knew the warmth of his body and how it felt against his.
He knew what it was like to kiss him. They kissed when they were alone, or unwatched -- they kissed each other good night, and they kissed to celebrate good grades. Sometimes they just kissed because they needed to -- because they craved the other's attention, whether they felt lonely, or jealous, or just affectionate. They kissed more than brothers were meant to kiss.
Kankri knew that, but that didn't mean he stopped thinking about Dave. His thoughts always returned there -- and always, he lost himself in them. Dave's hand on his cheek. Dave's chest leaning against his. Dave's lips brushing his lips, or his jaw, or if he were very lucky, his neck, until Kankri's eyelids fluttered and he could no longer breathe evenly, at which point Dave would realize, brothers didn't do that.
Kankri knew that. He still wanted it. He still curled his fingers around air sometimes, sitting at his desk, eyes forward but unseeing, because in his mind Dave was holding his hand, snuggling up against him, trying to purr, and Kankri was laughing with him. Dave's blond hair tickled Kankri's nose, and it was all in his head, but he could feel it; a dreamy half-smile crossed his lips as he thought about cutting off one of Dave's long, ironic tirades with a kiss. Not because he didn't want to hear him, but because he couldn't control himself -- not when the image of it in his mind, the fantasy of rubbing his tongue along Dave's, sent such a weird flip-flopping feeling through his stomach.
Brothers didn't do that, he knew.
But Kankri still snuck glances toward his brother in the chair beside him, and smiled wistful, loving sorts of smiles -- the kind not normally exchanged between between brothers, the kind he exchanged with Dave all the time. Dave still smiled back, and Kankri still thought about kissing him -- thought about that time in the library, when he'd run his hand through Dave's hair and Dave had melted under his touch; when they'd both moaned into each other's mouths, quiet and lost in the kiss, and come away ruffled and out of breath.
Kankri still thought about it. Still thought about what would happen after school was over. He thought about graduation, and he thought about walking out hand-in-hand with Dave. Moving out to his own place, with Dave. Living the rest of his life, with Dave.
Brothers didn't do that, Kankri knew.
But, Kankri thought... they could.
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