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"You can tell by the way a girl speaks French how good she is at oral."

-Julia K.

#sophomore year #crew quotes #Julia K #alright then

"You could just swim next to us." "There's no fucking way I'm doing that." "Hey, a coach has gotta do what a coach has gotta do. You can just float next to us... use logs to support yourself... and if you see a dead body then just pass it by." "This isn't Russia."

-Julia K., Brendon

#sophomore year #crew quotes #Julia K #Brendon #we only had two launches for three coaches #so Julia suggested this because the alternative was being alone on the water at 5 am while teaching ourselves how to row a pair #also Julia is extremely very Russian #they're a strange breed

"Are you calling me fat? Is that's what's going on?" "No!" "Beat him! "Punch him in the nuts!"

-Julia K., Colin, men's team

#sophomore year #crew quotes #Julia K #Colin

"I finished that show and I just felt dirty. I felt like I had to shower." "That's probably because you watched it all at once, you piece of shit!"

-David, AJ P.

#junior year #David #AJ P

"I just don't care. It makes life so much easier."

-random library person

#junior year #random person #finals week

"Look at that! Unsolicited, too! He just saw my face and thought, 'Mm, butt-fucking. She'll be into that.'"

-Melis

#junior year #Melis #she got a random message on Tinder that was really long and reaaalllyyyyy sexual

"del Torro probably sat there and thought, 'hmm. What could the next plot twist be? Brain pregnancy.'"

-Will

#junior year #Will #watching Pacific Rim #this was a really weird plot twist

"He's riding the USS Get Bent."

-Will

#junior year #Will #watching Pacific Rim

"Julia T. doesn't let me lean on her. And also, me leaning on her is like one of those Christmas trees that doesn't fit in your living room so you have to like bend it in half."

-Emily

#junior year #Emily O #crew quotes #height disparitiesssss #Emily's the tallest rower on the team and Julia's a coxswain

"The New York/New Jersey train system. Oh, what an art form. Did I ever tell you about the time I was traveling to a friend's - to Ben's apartment, actually. There were like 20 of us on the platform and the ticket dispenser was broken, and we called the help line but nobody picked up because it must've been one of the departments that Chris Christie ate. 'NOM NOM NOM PUBLIC TRANSIT NOM.'"

-Evan

#junior year #Evan

"What is Dwyer?" "It's Irish." "It's EXTREMELY VERY Irish." "You get a container of play-doh to the genitals for that." "Ooh, yesss." "An as-of-yet undiscovered kink, apparently." "Not quite undiscovered..." "What, you LIKE having soft, mushy things near your bits?" "I work with children, and there's a lot of play-doh." "The first part of your sentence had me really worried." "Oh my God! I'm not a pedophile!"

-Lizzy, Matt D., Erin, Henry

#winter break 2013 #Lizzy #Matt D #Erin #Henry

"I'm going to plug this in and wait for it to heat up before I tell the fourth part of this joke. And if you fuck around then that's when Will learns fire-punch."

-Will

#junior year #Will #Will was trying to tell a 4-part knock-knock joke and Evan kept saying the punchines #so Will grabbed the iron that was on the table and said this

"When I was in Giza, I went to the zoo and the circus on the same day, and it was just the most depressing thing I've ever seen in terms of animal treatment. It was like 85% empty, and there was like, a lion and a tiger there who were so heavily sedated that they could hardly stand. They didn't even know where they were! And you could take pictures with all of the animals, so there's a picture of me and Cassidy with a baby lion that's just so out of it. I have a picture of me with my hand in an elephant's mouth. And there was this band there that was playing covers of 80s songs, so like, the lion would do a trick and in the background it was like, 'Hello... is it me you're looking for?' It was just the most surreal experience."

-Eddie

#junior year #random person #adventures in Arabic

"You're going to buy a sword?" "'A' sword?"

-Jason, Uncle Doug

#junior year #random person #Uncle Doug #we went to the ren fair in Pennsylvania #and we came home with THREE SWORDS #GUYS I OWN ANDURIL NOW #BECAUSE UNCLE DOUG IS THE BEST

"Do you ever look at old people and think that they're just wearing old people Halloween costumes?" "No, I can't say I have." "Not ALL the time, but that woman we just passed on the stairs looked like ET. Like, 'you couldn't look older if you TRIED.'"

-Rebecca, Erin

#junior year #Rebecca #Erin

"Do you guys wanna get in a fight tonight? Like a gang fight?" "How would we do that?" "We find another group of nerdy white people and yell insults at them."

-Casey, David

#junior year #Casey #David

"You have to establish dominance." "Can you stop this?" "Hey. Be happy I don't jizz on your bed, alright?"

-Will, Evan

#junior year #Will #Evan #Will is Evan's roommate #and every so often he'll hold Evan down and sit on him

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