Quotes From Ari @quotes-from-ari-blog - Tumblr Blog

Wait what if instead of that, each mosquito bite sang a different note? So the more mosquito bites you got, the greater your range would be! And you could press them an make songs. Like a piano on your body.

Ari

#quotes #jimi hendrix #funny

What if every time you itched a mosquito bite, it sang a Jimi Hendrix song? That would create a real problem.

Ari

#jimi hendrix #quotes #funny

Fun fact: Larry King looks the way he does because he got a skin transplant from a leather chair in his fifties.

Ari

My immune system is like a fragile lotus flower in the midst of a summer monsoon.

Ari

I might want to study dinosaureology!

Ari

She's like a cold, freshly-sharpened sushi knife.

Ari

The dictionary defines cultured as "The product resulting from the souring of skim milk by the addition of a culture of lactic acid bacteria." Clearly I best fit this definition.

Ari

ACTUALLY I AM NOT COMBUSTING AT THIS MOMENT. AND ALAS NEITHER ARE MY LOWER GARMENTS.

Ari

I can see myself getting kidnapped and enjoying myself.

Ari

He plays tiny wings He needs an intervention Addiction is real

Ari

Is it cereal In our milk, or is it milk In our cereal?

Ari

I realized that birds aren't singing, they're screaming because they're scared of heights.

Ari

I would assassinate someone to get dippin' dots right now!

Ari

All computers and technology in the world and ESPECIALLY printers are conspiring to destroy my life and happiness and family.

Ari

I went to the doctor today and got a shot for the Human Paprika Virus!

Ari, on the HPV vaccine

Z FIZZLE SWIZZLE OH MA JOBURGUDAY lelelelelepellelelelelele

Ari

Henry, can I call you H-swizzle moneybuckles?

Ari

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