These Are Incorrect

These are not Witcher quotes; but you'd almost think that they were. Asks are open! I do credit sources in the tags, quotes are not mine unless stated! (header gif is from tumblr user bloodofelves, check them out!)

[quotethewitcher]

Also guys this song is heckin GREAT. 10/10, super emotional, makes me emo

And yeah I can relate this to the Witcher (specifically Witcher 3) u know when geralt finally finds ciri on the island and we’re like “o fuck” and he’s like “no *sob*” and she’s like “ha bitch u thought”

Yeah. That part.

{Tried to explain it without spoilers so I mean you can sorta think about what coulda happened but I didn’t tell you so don’t sue me ok ok great :^) }

Edit: if it doesn't show up for you or something it's called Saturn by Sleeping At Last!!!

[quotethewitcher]

"Youre obsessed with yourself" and youre not??? sad. tragic.

Yennefer probably

[quotethewitcher]

This is so vague that I don’t even know how to answer it? In what way do I ruin?

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt: From now on, we'll be using code names.

Geralt: You can address me as "Eagle One"

Geralt: Triss, codename: "Been There, Done That"

Geralt: Yen is "Currently Doing That"

Geralt: Lambert is: "It Happened Once In A Dream"

Geralt: Eskel, codename: "If I Had To Pick A Dude"

Geralt: Avallac'h is... "Eagle Two"

Avallac'h: Oh thank God.

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt with a monotone voice: "wow that is so wild"

[quotethewitcher]

I was playing a video game and I was getting really pissed that the graphics were shit (because my computer is usually awesome with graphics) so I kept manually resetting the graphics and then I realized I didn't have my glasses on :^)))))))) idiot

[quotethewitcher]

Zoltan: You can tell when you go to the bar too much when the bartenders start telling you their problems.

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt: I've heard that some young witchers can take down hordes of wild animals after proper swordsmanship training. I've been wondering if it'll work if mutations aren't involved.

Vesemir: And...?

Geralt: And so I've put Ciri in a arena with seven wolves. And a bear.

[quotethewitcher]

It's important that I’m both cute and powerful.

Yennefer of Vengerberg

[quotethewitcher]

LISTEN YOU GUYS SMOOTHIES ARE AWESOME OK but u gotta plan them out right or they taste like shit OK? Ok. (Like i used to hate smoothies but now I'm super into them) You can throw anything into ur blender and it becomes liquid???? Spinach? Sure dude. Peanut butter? Why not. Some hippy ass spirulina or bee pollen????? Buddy it gives some nice colour so go ahead. It's some good shit, plus they're easy, and they're like a meal but with less prep and usually less cleaning up which is gr8 because I'm so lazy. (Also I have a shit ton of recipes because I am a health worshipper so hmu if you want some) @witcherislovewitcherislife <--- also this blog is A1 pls give a follow they're cool as heck

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt: You could have died, man

Dandelion: I wasn't hurt that badly. Yen said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be!

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt: Went to store real quick. Love forever, Geralt.

Geralt: Thats a perfectly good note. That doesn't sound drunk at all.

[quotethewitcher]

This is my cat and she is a sweet baby and I love her with all my heart and she loves to follow me around and sit on me and it’s great!

But sometimes she gets in my way too much, like I have accidentally kicked her numerous times because she runs in front of me, she has knocked over plenty of things that I do not want her to knock over (makeup, protein shakes, my glasses, an avocado tree I was growing), and once she ate my probiotic (which caused me to freak out and call the vet to make sure she’d be alright), and today she decided that it would be fun to open the back door and run outside :^))))))))))….. anyways, God knows I love her to bits anyways and she’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world and I guess this post is about cool pets! And how much your pet really loves you and cherishes you when you show them that you love them and they can trust you! It’s so important to love your pet and give them the best life you can, even if they’re something small, like a hamster or a fish. They deserve happy lives! Be kind to them!

(Also I’ll get a new post up tomorrow :^) )

[quotethewitcher]

1. It was a two part horse costume 2. Geralt was the front (see diagram). To this day he doesn’t know if he was supposed to have a partner or if he did actually have one. But if he did have one, the person was a stranger to him. He also kept the front of the costume

(Also I read your tags,,,, :///// 3. Dandelion actually does not fit in this, as he is banished from toussaint for being a fuckboi. 4. Eskel is not v jealous I don’t think, but dandelion likes to make a huge deal over being geralts best friend. I don’t think it’s a boasting way, but it’s like “wow we are such cool best friends we are awesome” and geralt is like “yup, just guys bein dudes”)

@edenorisshitposting

[quotethewitcher]

Geralt: Ok, it's a very short story, so don't be disappointed. Still want to hear it?

Ciri: Of course I want to hear it!

Geralt: Alright. Eskel said "Let's celebrate!" And brought out a couple crates of drinks. The End.

Ciri: Ok but that doesn't even explain how you ended up in Toussaint wearing a horse costume and preforming in the city square...?

Geralt: That's where you're wrong. It explains it completely.

[imoved-78938503]

someone: oh do you like video games

me: yeah

someone: what games have you played

me: i have mislead you. i lied. i play the same two over and over. i made you think i Know Things about video games. i donot. i have played fable 3 six times

[quotethewitcher]

Ah yes! I understand that she was probably about 9 when she came to Kaer Morhen (if someone has found an exact age then that’d be great!). But of course I didn’t make it clear (and I should have) that I meant it as if Ciri had been taken in at a younger age. Of course, it’s a little far fetched, but that’s what makes it an incorrect quote! :^)