Imagine if for about ten years you had no one to talk to. Imagine if for about ten years you only had a few people you could actually speak to and when you do speak to them, it's never anything personal. It's all just business. Imagine if for almost ten years you couldn't go where you wanted to go, you couldn't be in public, you couldn't be about with other people because there was someone out there trying to kill you- someone who hated you so much that they wanted nothing more than for you to die by their own hands.
Then imagine that after almost ten years of isolation, you met someone. Imagine if this person talked to you all the time. Imagine if they opened up about themselves to you and told you their problems. Imagine if they smiled at you. Imagine if they found humor and comfort in you. Imagine if they liked being around you. Imagine if they enjoyed your company everyday for several years and they let you know this.
This is what happened to Silco. Silco only had a few people in his life that actually cared about and loved him, and all of those people either died or turned on him at an early stage of Silco's life. As far as we know, Silco's only friends throughout his entire life were Felicia and Vander and maybe Benzo, maybe even Connel if we're being generous. We never see him try to rebuild a social life after Vander's betrayal. He has distant employees, colleagues he hates, a blackmailed enforcer, and a right hand woman who's maybe his friendly acquaintance given that he's closer with her than he is any of his other employees, but not actually his friend. She would turn on him in a heartbeat if the opportunity proved to be to her benefit, and she's made this clear to him.
We never see him get close to anyone ever again. Except with Jinx. Jinx, who isn't afraid of Silco. Jinx, who holds no judgment for his past actions and his current misdeeds. Jinx, who was a child who looked to Silco for connection and acceptance after being rejected one too many times.
When we talk about the early days of Silco and Jinx's dynamic, a lot of us like to paint the picture that he gave her a lot of reassurance and affection. I have no doubt in this interpretation, but I want you to wonder: what if it was the other way around? What if it was little Jinx who gave Silco affection? What if she hugged him at random? What if she practically stayed at his side every chance she had? What would Silco, a man who hadn't received any kind of affection or positivity in so long, do with that? How would he react? Because when we look at all the physical interactions between Jinx and Silco, they tell us that Silco is NOT used to physical affection and is a bit put off by it, whereas Jinx IS used to it and she gives it out and accepts it freely.
It all truly starts here. In this scene, Silco is looking for Vi. Silco has just witnessed how powerful she is and he needs to find her because if she's alive and if she cannot be turned to his side, then she poses a major threat against Silco. Vi is Vander's daughter, his prodigy. She can fight like hell, she's strong willed, and she's not someone Silco needs on his bad side. Silco is shocked to see that he has found a little girl, alone, instead of Vi. He's not sure what to make of her. She looks small and pathetic, but the rest of Vander's kids have already proven that they can be menaces despite their youth and size. Silco bends down to reach Jinx's level and hides a knife behind his back as he asks her in a measured voice with fake kindness. Whether he was going to use that knife to kill Jinx or if he just had it out in the scenario he would have to defend himself against her (again, Vi has already proven that these children will throw hands AND fuck up adults if need be) remains forever unknown, because after Silco asks Jinx where her sister is, she looks up, Silco leans towards her with an inquisitive look, and Jinx LUNGES at him. And that is not an exaggeration- she throws herself at him with such force that the knife in his hand lands too far for him to use and she sends him straight on his ass several feet away from her original position.
Jinx curls herself towards Silco, nuzzles her head into his chest, and tightly wraps her arms around him. This man is a complete stranger, but in this moment it doesn't matter. He's here when everyone else is gone. Silco is COMPLETELY in shock. His mouth is open, his eyes are wide, his breathing is uneven, his legs bend as if to scoot away from her...he was not expecting this at all and he doesn't know what to do or how to handle this. He looks over at Vander's body as he listens to Jinx's words and a realization of some sorts dawns upon him. His legs twitch, unfamiliar to the human who is resting between them. SLOWLY, RELUNTANTLY, HESITANTLY, he raises his hand and returns Jinx's affection lightly. He scoots his legs to further embrace her and leans closer towards her to cradle her, as if to protect her from a threat that isn't present. He has to think before he knows what to say to her, and his next words are said ever so softly. It's almost as if the words he's saying aren't directed towards her, like they're actually for someone else. His words turn from a gentle affirmation to a determined promise. Jinx's hands clutch at Silco's back and he leans closer towards her.
This is the first scene we get with Silco and Jinx post time skip. By this point they have already been living together for years and they have become very close. Jinx now works for Silco, she is very comfortable with him and he is very comfortable with her. He lets her hide out on the rafters in his office. He's let her draw on his items. Likewise, Jinx is comfortable opening up to Silco about the things she isn't proud about, her failures and traumas. Jinx post time skip is very tough on the outside, but in this moment we get to see that she is still just as vulnerable as she was as a child. Silco is used to Jinx being vulnerable and honest with him because when Jinx tells him why she messed up, he hums with recognition and understanding. Jinx mistaking people for her sister is clearly something that has happened before and it's been something that Silco has been there for for Jinx. Silco extends the dropper for his eye medicine to Jinx. As she reaches for it, her fingers brush against the top of his hand and Silco leaves his hand up in the position it was before, even though Jinx has already taken the dropper and is starting to move closer to Silco. He doesn't put down his hand until Jinx is completely settled into her new position. It's kind of like the physical contact has him frozen or entranced, like he's still trying to process it or cling to it.
In her new position, Jinx's feet rest on the arm rests of Silco's chair, keeping him trapped in his seat. Her faces is inches away from his and her fingers are curved around his shoulder, her thumb rests on his throat. This is notable because Silco has trauma with being choked. He has been choked twice by Vander that we know of, with the first incident being so traumatic that all throughout act one he wore clip on ties instead of real ones. Only after Vander dies does Silco begin to wear normal ties. Yet despite all this, Silco allows Jinx to touch his throat and put pressure on it. This will happen again later as well. When Silco talks to Jinx, he spends most of his time looking dead straight instead of looking at her. Only occasionally do his eyes dart towards her. His tone is gentle, but it's clear that he's exhausted. Her performance at the job was less than ideal and even though he's not particularly angry or upset at her, he's stilled bothered. Jinx recognizes this, and that's when we actually get to the gif above.
Jinx specifically leans towards Silco, not even the chair. She made the distinct decision to move even closer to him than she was before, parts of her face now touching his hair. Silco sees her move this close to him and makes no reaction. Not to the movement or sudden contact. Immediately after, we see Silco touch Jinx for the first time unprompted. It is not in an affectionate manner, it is more of a reprimand for not paying attention to his words. He firmly grabs her wrist and lowers her arm. By this point Jinx's face is no longer just touching his hair, its touching his own forehead. This contact redirects Jinx's focus back to Silco. Silco keeps his hold on Jinx's wrist as he continues to talk to her, continuously adjusting his grip and making it tighter as he becomes more passionate with his speech. Jinx forcibly pulls her wrist away from him, out of his grip, and Silco lowers his hand.
This scene is the first time we actually see Silco get genuinely upset with Jinx. In the last scene he was disappointed in her failure and bothered by the ramifications of it, but he ultimately made sure to not let his emotions take control. But in this scene, Silco full blown shouts at Jinx and is angry at her. We can see his frustration grow as Jinx doesn't hear him/ignores him calling her name several times, until he finally gets her attention and goes off on her. Just like before, Jinx is blowing Silco off, ignoring him, not giving him her full attention. He gets closer to her and aggressively takes a pencil she was holding away from her, but he doesn't actually touch her. Now leaning closer to her, almost bending down to her level, he also uses his arm to point accusingly. Jinx takes his anger and gives him the gem stone, their hands do not brush. Silco looks at the gem stone, perplexed. He doesn't know what it is but Jinx seems to be happy with herself. Silco is still trying to figure out the gem stone when he looks up and finds Jinx a few feet away from him. In the gif you can clearly see the difference in silco's face before and after Jinx hugs him. Once again, he looks like he completely wasn't expecting her affection. He makes a shocked expression, he allows the weight of her body to push him backwards, and his arms instinctually move to surround her even if he doesn't immediately process what's going on.
Jinx herself looks like she was holding back right before, most likely out of excitement. However it's still clear that this is something she's used to doing with him, because she instinctually turns her head to the side when she hugs him and she makes her body flushed against his. Compare this to when she hugs Thieram, the bartender. She puts her head above his shoulder. She does the same thing when she hugs Vi too. Jinx continuously makes herself smaller when she's being physically affectionate with Silco. She does it as a child, when she curls into Silco's embrace. She does it in the office when she's hugging her knees. She does it in this scene by turning her head. And lastly she does it in the next scene I'm going to talk about by holding her arms.
But anyway, in this scene Jinx's arms quickly wrap around him like they did when she was a kid, she knocks him a little bit back like she did as a kid, and her hug makes a thud noise like it did when she was a kid. Silco is reluctant to return Jinx's affection, just how he was when she was a child, but he does return it. He delicately puts his hand on her shoulder.
If we're looking at all this scenes as Silco's journey with physical affection, then this is definitely the "turning point". Silco gives Jinx a lot of physical affection in this scene and it's the first scene that the affection he displays is completely of his own accord. He isn't just reciprocating Jinx's affection he's actually reaching out for Jinx to give her affection. First, the scene starts with Silco putting a lot of physical distance between himself and Jinx. This contrasts with all the other times we've seen them, as they have a history with having a close proximity to each other.
Silco extends his hand, physically reaching out for Jinx. This time, it's Jinx who actually hesitates but nevertheless she begins to make her way to Silco. As she gets closer, Silco begins to extend his hand even more, begins to lean towards Jinx even more. Jinx does take the hand he extends to her, and can we just look at that gif? Even though Silco was the one who extended his hand out to Jinx, even though he was the one literally reaching for her, he has barely taken her hand. Her four fingers are just barely wrapped around his top two. He's holding her hand in a very elegant, almost fragile manner. They are not completely hand in hand, flesh against flesh. He pulls her closer to him using the hand that has hers and with his other hand he gently holds the back of her head. Silco's mouth opens to take a breath, as if he's the one that's about to be underwater and not Jinx. He carefully lowers her into the water, adjusting his hand from the back of her head to the back of her neck for better support, leaning towards her the further away she gets to him. With only her face left to be submerged, Silco lovingly swipes his thumb against her temple and smiles at her. He lowers her even more, his fingers slide along the side of her face, to her cheeks then chin.
We've seen Silco get upset and aggressive with Jinx, but his negative emotions never actually impacted the way he touched her. Unfortunately, Jinx does not extend that same grace. Jinx's emotions drive everything about her and she has no problem on taking things out on the people she thinks deserve it. By this point in the story, Jinx has found out that Vi is alive and with this truth comes Jinx's assumption that if Vi is alive, then that means Silco has been lying to her this whole time. Silco hasn't seen Jinx for awhile now and when he does see her again, she's very aggressive and accusatory with him. She pushes his head back against the chair with her hand, forcing his head up. She climbs into and sits directly in his lap, a movement that is very childlike, a movement we haven't seen from her yet. Silco, I feel, doesn't even really get to process this because he's too busy trying to catch up on what's going on. He hasn't seen her in a few days perhaps and she's speaking in riddles, clearly upset with him. Jinx roughly moves her hand from his forehead to the sides of his face, with her lower fingers touching his throat (remember think back to the choking thing I talked about earlier) and her upper fingers pressing into his cheeks and jaw. A few moments later Jinx's hand readjusts itself higher, almost like she remembered something and purposefully moved her hand higher so she wouldn't be touching his throat so much. Jinx stabs Silco with his medicine dropper a few times and it's clear that Silco wants to retaliate in some manner. His hands instinctively ball up and flex but he ultimately does nothing other than move his hand from his lap to her forearm, similar to how he did earlier. Recall back to how I opened this post and now think about this moment. Jinx at this point is the one person in Silco's life who has afforded him physical affection, and now she is actively, purposefully harming him. Silco readjusts his hand higher, to her wrist as he begins to talk Jinx down. The more convinced she becomes, the looser Jinx's grip on Silco's face gets, until she ultimately gives Silco the proper eye shot and runs away.
Oh boy howdy is this one of my favorite scenes with these two. As I said earlier, from ep5 on we start to see Silco be more openly affectionate, and that is very clear in episodes seven and eight of season one. Somehow after their last interaction and Jinx ran off to go be Jinx, Silco manages to find Jinx on the bridge. Except, oh uh, Jinx is lying down on the ground as if she were a victim and not the aggressor. Seeing her unconscious and still, Silco rushes over to Jinx, fearing the worse. He is genuinely terrified, his eyes being the widest we've probably ever scene them. He instantly bends down and turns her face towards his with his hand. He runs his thumb over the side of her face, similar to how he did earlier in the river. When he sees her up-close, covered in blood and soot, Silco begins to feel a lose he had no idea he was capable of. To lose Jinx to her sister is one thing, but for Jinx to actually die? It is simply something Silco has never had to imagine before, and now that it's staring him in the face he has no choice but to imagine a life without Jinx. With one hand on her shoulder and the other on the back of her head, he lefts her upper half up. He moves the hand behind her head to hold her even closer to him than before. When he hugs her, her hands fall, and in pure astonishment Silco sees the length Jinx was willing to go for Silco. He rubs his hand against her hair, then moves it to her shoulder to properly hold her. He then picks her up like a child and walks off.
Immediately following the last scene, Silco rushes all the way from the bridge to Singed, hoping to get a hail mary that well help Jinx stay alive. Singed is able to help, but it comes with a lot of risk. Risk that Silco is unable to evaluate given the severity of his emotions and the lack of time they have to save her. Singed asks Silco if he's prepared to loose her, and once again, the thought is clearly inconceivable. Jinx coughs in the background, causing Silco to run to her side. He holds his body directly above hers. He cannot lose her. He holds a hand above her face, a ghost of a touch, before resting it on her head and giving her a kiss on the forehead. This is the most physical affection Silco has ever displayed on Jinx, even though he's kissing the strap on her forehead and not her actual forehead. Would he have done this had she been conscience? Would he have done this had she not been dying? Those are questions for you not for me. He pulls back from her slightly, keeping his hand on her head and a watchful eye. This is the last time he ever gets to touch Jinx.
In conclusion: I believe Silco was a man who was unfamiliar and shocked by physical affection after not receiving any for practically a decade. But then he met Jinx, a girl who had been rejected, yet loved all her life. A girl who was used to giving and receiving physical affection. Jinx has no problem being affectionate with Silco and for the most part she feels like she can be very childlike when around him. After being betrayed by Vander, Silco made it his own personal mission to mask his emotions at all time. For the most part he is very successful with this, except for the times where Jinx gives him physical affection. Despite the fact that they've known each other for years and have given affection to each other over the years, Silco is still always shocked to receive it and he's cautious when giving it to Jinx. Every moment is calculated and voluntary, he always makes sure its her choice whether or not to engage. He always is very gentle and light with his touch as to not overstep or be overwhelming. Not only is Silco touch starved from years of neglect and isolation, but he also has a complicated relation with touch due to his trauma of being nearly choked to death.
I want you to think about how I opened this post. Imagine if you went years without having any meaningful social or physical interactions. Imagine if you then spent everyday with a person who gave you both for the next several years. Now imagine that person's relative, who you know is close to your person but has also hurt you person in the past, comes around and tells you they're going to take away the person you've been with for the past several years. And now you see why Silco was so hellbent against Vi. Because she was going to take away the one person Silco had. The one person who gave silco affection and the one person who accepted affection from him. Now you see why Silco was unable to trade Jinx for Zaun. Jinx gave so many things to Silco that he would be unable to have without her. Affection, love, hope, humanity. A life with Zaun but without Jinx would have been pointless for Silco.
