How unimportant am I really?
My tears spill like a crack in the dam
My hands tremble with paralyzing fear
But there's no one to turn to
No shoulder to let my tears spill over
No tender Palms to rest my trembling hands in
No sweet words to stop my shaking breath
And that is how it will always be
Because I'm sure, everyone knows
Everyone can see what I hide under the disguise
Everyone knows how rotten I really am
And everyone knows what's best for them
Especially when I'm like this
As another broken sob escapes my lips
And my terrible dirty hands pound into my thighs
For that's not how anyone should see me
How anyone should deal with me
It's not a state anyone's horrible enough to see me in
And if anyone happens to be there when it happens
They should rip my broken soul
Realizing it's true nature
Realizing that even if I try my hardest
into something it never was
And as I sit under this tree
It's beautiful leaves covering my uglyness
I hope it shares it's secrets
I hope it tells me how to be beautiful
It's not something that comes naturally to me
I am sorry to those who have talked to me
From the venom on my lips
Those who I've attempted to bring down with me
I pray I wasn't successful
For no one deserves this, but me
I sit with the one person I hate
Contorted with the pain he deserves to feel
Toxic tears leaking from his eyes
Trembling hands ready to grab
Shaky breath contaminating the oxygen
And I am stuck with myself