Can I request p2 dude meeting postal doe!reader? And she's literally him but a woman so she's as sassy and freaky as he is. Please twin 🥹✌️
I don't know if I did this request right...BUT I HOPE U ENJOY IT STRANGER :D!!! Also inspo on an Eddsworld Episode :D! (mirror mirror btw :)
Uhh, Why Does My Reflection Look Feminine?
Postal Dude and Postal Doe!reader (3rd POV)
Warnings: suggestive (ex: Boobs), swearing, mentions of alcohol, health pipes, weed, probably some dark humor, mentions of blood and weapons.
Even though this fiction will not have 18+ details. If you are a minor please do not interact. With my blog since the fictions I write are meant for an older audience.
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Postal Dude was in the search of a cheap mirror. Champ accidentally broke the mirror with a slight bump… however he tries to not remember that. He can't blame Champ at all, not when that dog makes the cutest expressions known to society. Postal Dude didn't have luck tho. Everywhere he went, the mirrors were out of his budget or didn't have a design he found pleasing. With a sigh he gets out of the mall.
“Goddammit.” He sighs with frustration.
However, he saw something in the shady alleyway. It was a mirror, it was sorta how he wanted it, so he walked closer to the mirror. An old lady comes out and offers him the mirror for 2 bucks. It was odd that a mirror that looked sorta elegant and big mirror that had a price of 2 dollars.
“Young man, are you sure you want this mirror? It's pretty much hunted.” The old lady said with a concerned tone.
Postal Dude didn't mind that, the price was alluring and perfect for his budget. Plus, maybe he was with a few health pipes deep enough to even fear what the lady told him. He paid for the mirror and went home right away. As he thought,
“What can possibly go wrong with a shady mirror anyways?”
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Postal Dude placed the mirror where the old one used to be. Feeling proud of himself about how good this time it looked. Knowing damn well it would be covered with drool in the lower areas. But he didn't mind cleaning Champ's drools. Since that day he started to use that mirror over the rest of them. Every time he would go stand in front of it, just to see his full body reflection. For him it was satisfying to see his outfits (even if he didn't have a lot of them).
“Woah, since when did I have boobs? And pretty good hips?” Postal Dude said with a confused expression.
“Holy, shit. Since when have I had a goatee?” Postal Doe said, along with a whistle.
Both of them tensed at hearing each other. Postal Doe touched the mirror as her hand went through it… making her reach Postal Dude's duster. “...Fuck me…”
Postal Dude said in a surprised tone, while he tried to back away. But the woman had an insane grip just like his. Postal Doe came out through the window fully. As she takes her trusty ol’ gun out of her hip holster.
“Who the fuck are you? And why do you look like me but nasty edition?” Postal Doe aimed at his head.
Postal Dude takes the same gun out of his pockets. “Sorry, hun. But you can't criticize me while looking just like me. Being a girl doesn't always justify appearances.”
Both of them started to laugh as they aimed at each other's heads. “Okay, why do I feel you are a male version of me?”
Postal Dude shrugs while he holds the gun tightly. “Let's see, by any chance you have a Lucky Ganesh? And sometimes you get so impatient?”
Postal Doe lowers the gun. “Yeah, I do. For both… wait. Do you have an annoying partner that doesn't give a shit about you? Despite doing the errands yourself?”
Postal Dude lowers his gun as he takes off his glasses. “Yeah. I do. Well used to the Bitch abandoning me for Mad Cow Mike J.”
Postal Doe blinks. “Wow, same situation but…opposite gender?”
They both put their guns away and shake hands. “Huh, you are cooler than what I thought.”
Postal Doe takes her gun out. “Say that again and I'll blow your head off.”
Postal Dude laughs. “Come on, a little bit of teasin’ is harmless.”
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Both of them started to go around Paradise, Arizona. Postal Doe felt odd by seeing how similar things were but cool in a way that it felt like home. Though there's nothing cool about Paradise when everyone has a sickness that makes them shoot everyone and respond with violence. Though… they also did respond back with violence.
“Give us back our goddamn change.” Postal Doe was pulling the cashier's hair.
“Yeah, man. It's just a few bucks…no need to treat us like shit.” Postal Dude said while extending his hand towards the cashier.
The cashier was afraid of them, he snapped at them and pulled out a shotgun to their faces. So it was valid for Postal Doe and Postal Dude to respond like this. The rest of the people didn't care at all. They were partially focused on the items they were holding, or making some sort of calculations about the items they had in hand.
“h-here is your damn money!” The cashier handed it to Postal Dude's hand.
“Thanks.” They said in unison.
The thing is how they will blow up their money.
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Walking through the streets and pushing slow walkers aside. There it was the most magnificent and lovely place of all…
“You think what I'm thinking?” Postal Dod smirked mischievously.
Postal Dude grabbed her hand and went inside the building. “Buying dildos and using them as a weapon against the people that annoy us?”
“Even better…bongs!! Imagine all the weed we could have and shit!” Postal Doe added with enthusiasm.
Both of them bought the bongs. Though…she did get distracted by a quite handsome man.
“Hey, there.” She pulled the man's shirt in a flirtatious way.
Postal Dude stood there unfazed. He was expecting this to happen any time soon. So he shrugs it off and walks away. Postal Doe was running fast towards Postal Dude.
Postal Dude saw the man with a knife. “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”
Postal Doe pulls out a wallet. “Seduction is key to get free stuff.”
Both of them ran at full speed, the man chasing after them slowed down as he grew tired. It was thrilling how things escalated yet it was so funny at the same time. The promise of getting their money back was even funnier. Doe only thought she would get the bare minimum…but no Dude and Doe got their money back.
It's a win if you think about it.
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At home both of them enjoyed the weed they got from an alleyway vendor. Paradise was sorta full of them, it was strange to not get your hand on a health pipe at times.
“Man, so you know…I said ‘penetrated’ when I entered this facility without paying. Every single female scientist looked at me with disgust. You should have seen their faces dude!”
Postal Dude was taking a big hit, while he listened. He pushed away the bong and smiled. “Man, that ain't bad. It's a harmless joke that you did, they should have laughed at least.”
Postal Doe coughs while she notices that her arms were being covered in a strange purple goop. “Dude…am I tripping balls? Or do I really have some strange purple liquid on my arms?”
Postal Dude took off his sunglasses, and focused his attention on her arm. His face turns into worry. “No…you are not tripping balls…”
Postal Doe stood up right away and searched for the mirror. There was also purple goop leaking from it. “No…no no no!”
Postal Dude looked at the reflection and the mirror started to drag him inside it. “Holy fuck!! What the hell is going on?”
Postal Doe looks at herself slowly being covered in purple goop. “I believe we have a limited amount of time to go to each other's alternative universes.”
“Uhm, aren't you supposed to be dragged instead of me?” Postal Dude asked while holding onto a wall.
“Maybe the mirror is starting to reject me and wants to consume you?”
Postal Dude somehow managed to reach Postal Doe. “I think something is off.”
Postal Doe smiled in a very awkward way. “Okay, okay…you got me.” A deep voice was heard as it turned into another Postal Doe.
She had red eyes just like Other Dude…
Postal Dude kept a firm grip while the Other Doe was getting him off her. “Oh, no. I'm going to stay here and be free for once.”
Postal Dude started to lose strength as her strength increased with each grip on her arm. “Seriously, you are a genius for making me get stoned.”
“Not so fast ain't letting that sexy bitch, steal my plans for fun. Not with my opposite gender.” Postal Doe came out of the mirror as she had a shotgun on hand.
Postal Dude was confused as the Other Doe took the form of P3 Doe, he was sorta amazed that these were entities that shifted? Yeah, he couldn’t make up his mind. Postal Doe blew the brains out of the Other Doe, while she offered a hand for Postal Dude.
“Now you understand why you shouldn’t buy shady mirrors? I mean wowie a female version of me? Cool right but not until it's an asshole that might want to kill you.”
Postal Dude shrugs like nothing happened. “No regrets. I had a fun day, now if you excuse me I’ll try to bang a postal babe.”
“Men these days. I swear the postal daddies, or whatever their names were, are more sexy to bang.” Postal Doe entered the mirror and shot the mirror from her end.
Postal Dude looked behind him and thought… “ Sometimes I don’t even know when I’m hallucinating.”
☆ I decided to take the risk while writing this one while being dizzy. Because for no reason I HAD THE URGE TO WRITE DESPITE OF BEING IN THOSE CONDITIONS 😨 yet I had fun with this request :3 my askbox is still for requests BTW let em pile up. Makes me entertained to write fics tbh :>.
