and here are the said 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 headcanons… careful with posting this since tumblr formats stuff weird / idk if you want to put a nsfw warning LMAO
• guzma’s pansexual, he thinks fine shit is fine shit. this tweet is funny asf to me because when i saw this i thought it was guzma coded
• 9 inches, uncut and non-shaved. carpet matches the drapes, dark and bushy
• prince albert piercing because this man knows. tongue piercing as well.
• high sex drive, if he wakes up with some wood you’re bouncing on that bouncing on that wood (/ref)
• he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. yes, i’ll elaborate: he will make you scream. he got a tongue piercing solely because he knows damn well he’s already good at eating and sucking, that only adds to the charm.
• also has long fingers. he’s tall and big and not only his hands but also his c— [ gets shot down by fbi agent ]
• he’s a switch, he doesn’t mind getting his turn being pillow princess but he also doesn’t mind making his partner writhe beneath him
• his favorite position is face down ass up, he likes to see it jiggle (i giggled i cant take myself seriously) OR breeding press. he likes tits and ass as much as he likes being praised
• praise kink! need i say more? it’s guzma we’re talking about
• growls and grunts, he isn’t whiny. he will hide his face in embarrassment if he does accidentally moan a little on bottom though
• (do)n’t pull his hair, he’ll take it personally (if you do it while he’s eating you out/giving you head he’ll work harder)
• guzma can be rough, sure, but he can also be gentle if asked. to be fair, he fumbles a lot, he gets nervous around people he really likes and he’ll constantly ask to make sure you’re okay until you guys finally get into it
• not really one for aftercare but he’ll try if you ask. he’ll bring you water, run you a bath or just cuddle, but usually he’ll just cuddle up to you, kiss you a bunch and snooze away
ok bye i’ve already made a fool of my 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 self here!! have a nice day
The way I am just kicking my legs at my office job, GUZZLING THIS WITH MY EYES. HALLELUJAH, IN GUZMA APPRECIATION WE TRUST!
I totally agree on nearly, if not, everything you have written here.
And you know what, let me add that once you get this man to do aftercare, this man will demand cuddles every time after a session of doing the mattress mambo, I KNOW THAT MAN LOVES A GOOD CUDDLE. If you don't, he'll make a big show of it. "Oh so I'm just here to keep the bed warm?!" "I was kidding, bring it here." Him immediately dragging you into his arms and hugging you tight, looking both pissed off and victorious like yeah thats what I fucking THOUGHT-
izzy806
prguitarman
dededos
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
