I am not good at tumblr-ing
So I guess you could call this is an "update" on my fitness/healthy lifestyle journey. I started this tumblr account about a year ago after Thanksgiving, while feeling the fattest in my life. Since then, I have done so-so with this "journey".
So, I started TurboFire back in March, finished in August. By then I was completely burnt out on that program. I did awesome with it. My results were pretty good, but I could have done another round of the program to get to where I wanted to be in my body. Buuuuut, like I said I was burnt out. Just being real here.
So then I ordered ChaLean Extreme. Eh. It's good for me, but weight lifting is boring to me. Building muscle is important to burning the fat on your body. I know this. I've been doing that program with my mom since August, it's now November. I'm feeling burnt out on it again......maybe I'm not good at finishing things?
And everything in between has been crap because I have been EATING like crap. So here I am, right back to where I was a year ago because I like junk food. I LIKE JUNK FOOD! And I let myself become lazy on meal planning, and buying healthy groceries.
And because I haven't been eating as healthy as I should, I haven't been seeing results that I COULD be seeing from ChaLEAN Extreme. Blah. I have been enjoying my food. I know that I can still enjoy junk foods every once in a while, while still eating healthy. But I've just been all out ENJOYING food, and not caring about what is going into my body. Why don't I care more?? I want to care! I feel in a complete fitness and health RUT right now.
I took progress photos today. Because I have been SO anxious to start Insanity. I have been scared to do Insanity, because it's something I know I won't be very good at. BUT. I need the challenge. And I NEED CARDIO. Chalean Extreme is great, but there's hardly any cardio. I know from after a year of trying to lose the extra poundage on my body, that my body NEEDS cardio. If I am not doing cardio exercises, I feel like it's not worth it. Even though lifting weights are so important, I sweat less with weights, and it makes me feel like it's not doing anything for me. I know that it is, it's just a psychological thing for me. Sweating a lot during a work out makes me feel like I accomplished something. And weight lifting IS definitely a challenge, I just need to incorporate more cardio than weights.
Because I have been so anxious to start Insanity, I found it free online. (BAD ME!) I should be getting it for Christmas from my husband. I just wanted to do it NOW! I want to do it now, while I'm motivated to actually do it. And I wanted to be able to do it during the holidays, while I am most likely eating not-so-healthy holiday foods.
Yes. I am going to EAT holiday foods! I know that if I deprive myself of it, it will make myself worse, and I will GORGE myself with so much junk that it will make it even harder to get it off than it was to put it on. But I am going to portion everything. The RIGHT way, not the "holiday foods" way, with giant portion sizes.
I frustrates me beyond belief that this is a struggle for me. But I know I've got to work for it. I've just never had to work for it before. It's only been one year. I am still learning.
When I grew up, I was always behind in growth, weight, and height. So I was always told, "You need to gain more weight" by my doctors. So my tween self was in heaven because I got to eat junk food and not worry about getting fat! It was the best! Ice cream before bed, gushers after school, anything junk food that you could think of, I ate it - and didn't have a care in the world. I was supposed to gain weight!!
I weighed 90 pounds in 9th grade. I don't remember how much I weighed when I was a senior or after. I'm thinking 115 or something. But I didn't worry or care about my weight. I looked good. I was comfortable where I was. And it didn't matter to me.
Once I got sick, and had to take lots of steroids to help the sickness go away, all of that went out the window. I gained weight, I was so bloated with water. It was miserable. I hated being inside my body. And once I was off the steroids, I thought it would magically go away. Nope. It took me 2 years after it not going magically away for me to realize I actually had to work for it. So here I am, one year later after that realization that I STILL have to work for it. Old lifetime habits are not going to cut it. I'm 24 now and my metabolism is not what it was before I got sick. And it will keep going down if I am not exercising. It will be an even bigger challenge once kids come along because having babies changes your body chemistry and structure.
I know that when I was "good" at this tumblr thing, I was motivated, I was excited about getting healthy, and I was ready for change. Let's try this thing again, shall we?
I wrote down the Insanity schedule, and did the fit test today. I definitely suck right now. There's a fit test every 2 weeks, so I am excited to see how much stronger I get each time.
Lesson learned from this year: If I'm tired of starting over so many times, stop quitting. I could have been at my goal weight/body/whatever today if I would have not quit, got bored, got lazy, or got un-motivated so many times this year.