CHARACTER INFORMATION
face claim: Phoebe Dynevor
full name: Raegan Winona Phillips
nickname(s): Rae
pronouns & gender: she/her, cis woman
sexuality: heterosexual
birth date: april 16th 2000
birth place: Merrock
time in town: Rae lived in town her whole life up until four years ago, but she’s been back in town, unbeknownst to anyone, for two weeks now.
housing: She’s back to living at her parents ranchhouse in the Merrock countryside, not too far from town.
occupation: Not currently working.
family: Mother and father in town, siblings.
personality: Not the oldest, not the youngest – just somewhere in between, not quite sure where to fit in, Rae has middle child syndrome down to a T. Or, at least, that’s what the residents of Merrock will remember about her. Born with wanderlust coursing through her veins, Rae was always looking one way or the other, to the horizon or the highway. With her parents status and money, she could have gone anywhere in the world, and she intended on it. She had her heart set on Yale, and she made sure everyone knew it. If she couldn’t be the oldest or the youngest, she would be the smartest, and she would get out and explore and go find herself, out of her Siblings shadows, out in the world, away from Merrock. That was what she wanted, more than anything. Now that she’s back, the people she once knew might find they don’t quite know her at all. The once outspoken class president is now a much milder version of herself. Perhaps coming home, to who and what she knows, is what she needs to find herself again.
BACKGROUND / BIO
trigger warning; substance abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage
It stormed the night Rae was born; the worst storm Merrock had seen in a decade. As the horses screamed in the stables, her mother screamed in her bed, unable to reach the hospital through the awful weather, and Raegan screamed her way into the world. A surgeon and a father already, her dad pulled her from her mother, cut her cord, checked her over and, beaming, handed her to his waiting wife. For a brief moment in time, Rae was the youngest, the baby, the most doted on child of a founding family. Briefly.
So briefly, in fact, that it was a moment in time she would not ever remember. By the time she was old enough to make memories, she was an older sister, a middle child. Loved still, of course, but left mostly to her own devices. It never occurred to Rae that it was just so because her parents knew not to worry about her. Raegan was intelligent, practical, responsible. The peacekeeper among her siblings, the voice of reason and calm in a loud and crowded room.
Used to being overlooked by her parents, Rae dedicated most of her time to her studies. At ten years old, she hung a Yale poster above her bed, and it stayed there for eight years. Every step she took, was towards Yale. And every step towards Yale, was a step closer to leaving Merrock behind, in her dust.
Raegan painstakingly ticked every box she needed to; it wasn’t without it’s challenges, it didn’t come easily to her. Sleepless nights, endless library sessions. Once, her father even admitted her to the hospital, because she’d been working so hard that she’d not taken a sip of water or slept in two days. Only one thing distracted her from her course. Henry. New to town, visiting for the season. Rae had fallen faster and harder than she ever thought possible, and she believed he had, too. They became inseparable, two halves of a whole. Where one went, the other followed. Henry opened up her world, taught her how to enjoy herself, how to relax, how to let her stress melt away when they’d spend an evening on the beach, a beer in one hand, a joint in the other. When Summer was gone, and Henry left, that was the saddest Rae had ever been.
Still they spoke every day. She told him everything about her senior year. Top of her class, class president, valedictorian. He told her all about his travels around the US, just him and his bike and the open road.
When the day came, when the letter came bearing her name, and it was much too light, and much too thin, Rae’s world came crashing down around her. She tore the Yale poster from her wall, the huge white rectangle of untouched, unmarred paint behind it a taunting reminder. Three days. Three days of not seeing or speaking to anyone. She didn’t eat, didn’t shower, didn’t move. She had done everything right, and it wasn’t enough. She had played by the rules, written inside of the lines, fought for what she wanted…and the world told her no. The world found her wanting.
Three days is what it took, for Rae to make her choice. Through tears of disappointment and heartache, she said goodbye to her parents, to her siblings. Merrock wasn’t her life, wasn’t her future, and if it wasn’t at Yale, then she had to go and figure out where it was. And, finally eighteen, she now had the funds to do it thank to the money her Grandfather had put into trusts for each of the children once they came of age.
The money didn’t last long once Henry got his hands on it.
They were happy, for maybe a year. They had their fights, but it was nothing they couldn’t put aside, nothing a kiss or a drink or a joint couldn’t fix.
For a year, they travelled. For a year, Rae was some kind of happy, more relaxed than she had ever been.
Then he turned her into a victim, and for three years, she stayed that way. Once the money was gone, and they began living pitiful paycheck to pitiful paycheck, once the spark had died like a star in a far off galaxy, there was only his boredom and anger and, afterwards, his apologies, which grew less and less emotional, less and less sincere, until he didn’t bother with them, and she didn’t expect them.
The night she lost their baby was the night she decided that enough was enough. One night too late. At the hospital, she dialed a number she knew well, a number she had been ghosting over her phone for weeks. When her mother picked up the phone, Rae couldn’t speak for the shame.
“Hello?” A confused, gentle voice on the other side. Silent sobs wracked Rae’s body, as she sat in her hospital bed. Silence, then a shallow gasp, as if her mother didn’t dare to hope. A whisper. “Raegan?"
Her sobs broke free then, "Mommy.” It was all she could do to keep breathing through her tears.
Her father drove through the night, from Maine to New York. He was speechless, when he saw her. A normally passive and gentle man, his fists curled angrily at his sides at her injuries, at the dimness of her once bright eyes. They drove home in silence and, once there, without any questions, without any demands, her mother tucked her into bed, where she remained for a week. Unmoving, silent. It was all her parents could to do make her eat. But, like the Rae of old, when she set her mind to something, she did it. And so, on the eighth day, she rose, dressed, set a smile on her face and, to all who saw her, was back to herself.
It still took her another week to find the courage to leave the house, but she did it. She has so much buried, it’s bound to find it’s way out somehow, but for now, Rae is too busy looking over her shoulder, terrified for the day Henry comes looking for her.
