rafeobx

[rafeobx]

MASTERLIST

RAFE CAMERON:

SERIES:

wanna be yours

ONE SHOTS:

crawling back to you

sue me

the ghost between us

JJ MAYBANK:

ONE SHOTS: run for the hills

DEAN DILAURENTIS:

ONE SHOTS: boyfriend | no strings attached

ANTHONY BRIDGERTON:

ONE SHOTS:

young and beautiful

[rafeobx]

YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL, anthony bridgerton

masterlist

plot: intertwined with the bridgerton family since childhood, you have spent your entire life checking every box required to secure a wealthy match on the marriage market to protect your future. your meticulous preparation earns nothing but disdain from the eldest brother, anthony bridgerton, who views your polished perfection as sheer desperation. however, when your debut finally arrives and you take the ballroom floor with an eligible marquess, anthony is struck by a sudden, consuming wave of jealousy.

warnings: jealous!anthony, enemies to lovers, best friends brother, angst

your childhood was loud, chaotic, and entirely intertwined with the bridgertons, mostly because daphne and eloise had claimed you as their honorary sister.

you spent hot summers hiding in the aubrey hall gardens with eloise, whispering about forbidden books, and rainy afternoons in the drawing room helping daphne practice her pianoforte.

you loved the bridgertons except for the eldest.

"if you pass the ball to him, i will personally ensure your embroidery scissors go missing," eloise muttered to you one afternoon, wiping sweat from her forehead during a chaotic game of pall-mall.

"i would rather throw it into the lake," you whispered back, aiming your mallet directly at the black ball belonging to the viscount. with a sharp crack, you sent his ball flying straight into the shrubbery.

anthony’s jaw tightened as he watched his ball disappear into the thicket. he turned his glaring gaze upon you, his posture stiffening. "unmannerly, as always," he snapped, crossing his arms. "one would think a lady of the ton might possess a modicum of decorum, yet you play like a common street urchin."

"and one would think a viscount might accept defeat with a shred of grace, yet here you are, whining over a game," you shot back, offering him a sweet, entirely mocking curtsy.

truthfully, his disapproval stung more than you cared to admit, though you would rather die than let him see it. for you, the stakes were entirely different than they were for eloise or daphne. you did not have the luxury of a vast bridgerton fortune to fall back on; your future depended entirely on securing a advantageous match.

you had spent your entire life working your fingers to the bone to ensure you were the incomparable standard. you had perfected your posture until your back ached, memorized french poetry until you spoke it seamlessly, and practiced the harp until your fingertips bled. you had checked every single box the gentlemen of the ton demanded.

and that was precisely why anthony despised you.

he saw right through your meticulous perfection, viewing it not as dedication, but as sheer, unadulterated desperation. to him, you were a calculating hunter stalking the marriage mart, eager to snare any wealthy lord foolish enough to fall for your polished facade.

"you try far too hard," he had sneered at you during a dinner party only a fortnight prior, leaning in closely so the rest of the table couldn't hear. "it is positively exhausting to witness. you parade your accomplishments about like a merchant hawking wares at a bazaar. a gentleman desires a wife, not a performing pony desperate for a ring." anthony sneered, his teeth clenched.

"and a lady desires a gentleman, yet i am forced to sit beside you," you had hissed back, your cheeks burning with humiliation. but tonight was your debut, and you were determined to prove him wrong.

the music in the ballroom was deafening, a dizzying whirl of violins and hushed gossip, but all you could focus on was how suffocating your corset feels. this was your first official evening on the marriage market, and you were going to secure your future.

"may i have the honor of this dance, m'lady?"

you turned to find a perfectly pleasant, highly eligible lord bowing before you. he was a marquess, wealthy, and most importantly, he wasn't anthony. "i would be absolutely delighted, my lord," you said, offering a bright, dazzling smile that you had practiced in the mirror for years, letting him lead you onto the ballroom floor.

as the dance began and you spun flawlessly through the steps, you finally let yourself relax, laughing genuinely at a witty comment your partner made.

across the room, leaning heavily against a marble pillar with a glass of scotch in hand, anthony bridgerton froze.

he had been scanning the crowd out of pure boredom, fully expecting to spend another evening watching you desperately try to catch the eye of some elderly duke. but then his eyes landed on you. you looked radiant in your debut gown, your hair pinned up elegantly, completely different from the fiercely argumentative girl he grew up with.

and you were laughing. with another man.

it's not like anthony has ever made you laugh but something about seeing it. . .it made his blood boil.

the sound of your genuine amusement, entirely unforced and free from the rigid perfection you usually wore like armor, echoed across the short distance between you. it felt like a direct affront to him. he had spent years watching you rehearse your smiles, your curtsies, and your witty drawing-room retorts, dismissing it all as a calculating performance. but this laugh? this was real. and it belonged to another man.

anthony’s grip tightened around his glass until his knuckles turned a stark, furious white. a strange, dark heat flared in his chest, catching him completely off guard. he watched the way the marquess placed a hand on your waist to guide you through the promenade, and a sudden, sharp wave of jealousy hit him so hard it stole his breath.

he hated you. he was supposed to hate you. you were desperate, calculating, and challenged his patience at every turn. so why did the sight of you smiling at someone else make him want to march across the floor and tear you away?

your eyes accidentally drifted past your partner's shoulder and locked right onto him.

even from across the crowded room, the intensity in anthony's gaze was palpable. his usual smug, condescending expression was entirely gone, replaced by a dark, brooding stare that seemed to pierce right through you. your breath hitched, your steps faltering for a fraction of a second before you quickly recovered.

you looked away, trying to focus back on the marquess, but your heart was suddenly racing for an entirely different reason. the season had only just begun, and the game had completely changed.

the moment the music swelled to a stop and the dance concluded, you offered the marquess a breathless, practiced tilt of your head. but before your partner could even ask to lead you toward the refreshments, a heavy, unyielding grip clamped around your forearm.

you gasped, turning to find anthony standing behind you, his face a mask of dark, thunderous fury.

"pardon us, lord tewkesbury," anthony said, his voice dropping into a low, menacing octave that brooked no argument. "i require a word with my sister’s companion. immediately."

"lord bridgerton, what is the meaning of--" you began, but he was already pulling you through the crowd, his stride long and relentless. he ignored the startled looks from the guests, dragging you out of the grand ballroom, down the candlelit corridor of aubrey hall, and straight into the heavy oak sanctuary of his private study.

he threw the door shut behind you, the click of the lock echoing like a gunshot in the quiet room.

"have you completely lost your senses?" you hissed, ripping your arm from his grasp and spinning around to face him. your chest heaved with indignation, your eyes flashing with absolute fire. "to humiliate me so publicly on the very night of my debut. do you have any idea what the ton will say? what lord tewkesbury will think? i have spent my entire life preparing for this, ensuring every detail was flawless, and you have ruined it in a matter of seconds!"

"flawless?" anthony barked, taking a sharp step toward you, his broad shoulders tense. "is that what you call that pathetic display out there? it was intolerable."

"it was a dance!" you shot back, your voice trembling with a volatile mix of anger and sudden, suffocating nerves as he stepped into your space. "a dance with a highly eligible gentleman who actually possesses the manners to appreciate my company! something you know absolutely nothing about."

"he does not appreciate you," anthony growled, his gaze fixed on yours with a fierce, burning intensity that caught you entirely off guard. "he looks at you and sees a prize to be won. and you," he seethed "you practically throw yourself into the promenade, smiling and simpering like a schoolgirl starving for a title!"

the insult cut through you like a knife, striking the exact insecurity you had spent your entire life trying to conceal. tears of sheer rage pricked the corners of your eyes.

"how dare you. you know nothing of the pressure i face, anthony. i do not have the luxury of indifference like you or eloise. i must marry well, and i have worked my arse off to be everything a gentleman desires. i have checked every single box."

"curse your boxes!" anthony roared, stepping closer until the air between you turned thick and electric. his composure was shattering entirely, his voice cracking with a raw, agonizing frustration.

"that is exactly what maddens me. you parade this manufactured, perfect persona around the ballroom, offering your hand to any fool with a peerage, pretending to be someone you are not just to secure a ring!"

"and why do you care?" you demanded, your voice dropping to a fierce, breathless whisper, your heart hammering violently against your ribs. you could feel the sheer weight of his attention entirely fixed on you, a dizzying contrast to his usual dismissive sneers.

"because it is an insult to who you actually are" anthony breathed, leaning down until his face was mere inches from your ear, his dark eyes scanning your features with a helpless, angry frustration. "you do not need to perform for him. you do not need to dance through their hoops or pretend to be some docile, flawless creature just to be worthy of a match. it is maddening to watch you give him the smiles that belong to--"

he cut himself off, his breathing ragged, his jaw clenching so hard the muscle ticked. the sheer force of his presence was entirely overwhelming, trapping you against the edge of the mahogany desk.

the familiar hatred that had defined your relationship for years was suddenly warping into a heavy, suffocating intensity that neither of you knew how to handle.

"belong to whom, my lord?" you whispered, your voice trembling but defiant. your heart hammered violently against your ribs as you stared back into his dark, furious eyes. "go on, my lord. you have spent the last three years tearing down every effort i have made, telling me i am desperate, telling me i try too hard. and now, the moment i finally have a chance to secure my future, you drag me away from the ballroom? i'm afraid i don't undertsand what you want from me, lord bridgerton."

anthony closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, letting out a sharp, frustrated breath that brushed against your cheek. when he opened them, the usual condescending mask was completely shattered, leaving only a raw, agonizing confusion.

"i want you to stop acting as though your worth is defined by the approval of fools like tewkesbury," he said, his voice dropping to a fierce, low growl. "you think i despise you because you work so hard to check their boxes? i despise that you think you must diminish your spirit, your sharp tongue, and the very fire that makes you who you are, just to please some lord who isn't fit to walk the same floor as you."

you stared at him, completely stunned, your mind racing to process the words coming out of his mouth. "you think i diminish myself?"

"i know you do," anthony muttered, his gaze dropping to your hands, which were clenched tightly into the fabric of your debut gown. he slowly reached out, his fingers hovering just above yours for a tense, agonizing moment before he pulled back, clenching his hand into a fist.

"it is insufferable to watch you offer a curated version of yourself to the world, when the woman who threw my pall-mall ball into the shrubbery is the only one worth looking at."

your breath caught in your throat, the fierce anger that had sustained you for the last ten minutes evaporating into the thick, electric air of the study. you stared up at him, your mind frantically trying to reconcile the arrogant viscount who had mocked you for years with the man standing before you now, looking completely undone.

"you are absurd," you whispered, though there was no bite left in your words, only a breathless, frantic confusion. "you have spent years telling me i am a nuisance. you told me i was a performing pony, anthony! you made me feel as though my entire future was nothing but a joke."

"because you were looking at everyone else!" anthony snapped, his restraint fracturing completely. he stepped closer, his chest pressing against yours as he trapped you against the desk, his hands coming down to grip the polished wood on either side of your hips. the proximity was dizzying, hot and entirely inappropriate for a proper lady and a gentleman, but neither of you cared.

"every smile, every perfect curtsy, every accomplishment you flaunted, you did it for the rest of the ton. you did it to find a husband, while i was forced to sit on the sidelines and watch you offer yourself up to men who don't deserve a single second of your time."

"and what of it?" you cried, your voice cracking as the sheer desperation of your situation bubbled to the surface. "i do not have a choice! i must marry, anthony. i do not have the luxury of waiting for some grand romance. lord tewkesbury is a good match. he could give me security. he could give me a life."

"he cannot give you what you need," anthony growled, his head tilting down, his dark eyes fixed on your lips with an intensity that made your heart hammer like a trapped bird. "he would want the flawless doll. he would want the quiet, agreeable wife. he would stifle the very life out of you until there was nothing left of the girl who stands up to me without an ounce of fear."

"and what do you want?" you demanded, your hands rising to press against his chest, intending to push him away, but your fingers only curled into the fine fabric of his waistcoat as you held onto him instead. "if i am not to marry him, if i am to throw away everything i have worked for, what is it that you want from me?"

"i want you to look at me," anthony whispered, his voice suddenly raw, the anger draining from him to leave only a desperate, suffocating truth. his gaze lifted to meet yours, completely bare and devoid of his usual pride.

he rested his forehead against your head, his eyes closing shut. "i want you to stop giving them the pieces of yourself that belong to me, i want you to realize that the only man in this entire ballroom who truly sees you, who truly wants you for exactly who you are is me, i want you to want me."

the admission hung heavily in the air, a sudden, staggering silence enveloping the dimly lit study. the distant, muffled strains of the waltz from the ballroom completely faded into irrelevance. for several long minutes, neither of you moved. the only sound was the erratic rhythm of your breathing, gradually slowing as the initial shock of his words began to settle.

you remained pinned between his hands, the solid mahogany of the desk pressed against your lower back, while the warmth of his chest radiated through the fine layers of your gown.

anthony did not pull away. instead, he kept his forehead resting gently against yours, his eyelashes casting long shadows against his cheekbones. the fierce, commanding viscount had vanished, replaced entirely by a man who seemed simply relieved to finally lay down his arms.

you open your eyes slowly, pulling your head away as your eyes meet his. your gloved hands reach up, caressing his face lightly. "i thought," you swallow "i thought you hated me, my lord."

anthony’s breath hitched at the gentle touch of your gloved hand against his cheek. he didn't lean away; instead, he tilted his head into your palm, his gaze holding yours with a vulnerability that completely undid you.

"i thought i did too," he admitted, his voice barely a rough whisper in the quiet of the study. a bitter, self-deprecating smile touched the corners of his lips. "i convinced myself of it for years. every time you crossed my path, every time you challenged me or threw that bloody pall-mall ball into the brush, i told myself your existence was merely an irritation."

he reached up, his larger, bare hand covering yours where it rested on his cheek, his thumb tracing the soft silk of your glove.

"but it wasn't hatred," he continued, the realization raw and heavy between you. "it was fear. i was terrified because you were the only person in the ton who refused to be managed by me. you were the only one who looked past the viscount and saw me. every sneer, every sharp remark i threw your way, it was a defense mechanism. i despised how much i noticed you. i despised how your laughter across a crowded drawing room could draw my attention away from everything else. but tonight. . ."

anthony’s dark eyes searched yours, his grip tightening ever so slightly on your hand.

"tonight, when i saw you out there on the floor, looking every bit the perfect lady you labored to become, i realized the truth. i did not hate your dedication. i hated the facade. i hated that you felt compelled to twist yourself into some hollow, obedient mold just to be deemed acceptable by a society that doesn't deserve you." anthony whispered, his eyes sparkling as they gazed across your face.

"it infuriated me to watch you lock away your brilliant, fierce spirit behind a manufactured mask just to please them. the hatred was merely a defense, a pathetic attempt to hide the fact that i have been utterly, completely consumed by the real you for longer than i care to admit."

anthony’s gaze dropped to your lips, the final remnants of his restraint completely evaporating. before you could utter another word, he closed the remaining distance between you.

his mouth met yours in a kiss that was sudden, fierce, and brimming with the years of unspoken tension that had built up between you. his hands slid from the mahogany desk to frame your face, his fingers tangling into the loose tendrils of your hair as he pulled you closer, as if trying to erase every inch of space that had ever kept you apart. you gasped against his lips, the sudden warmth and intensity of him stealing the air from your lungs, but your hands instantly gripped his shoulders, holding on tightly as the room spun around you.

the kiss softened, turning from a desperate clash into something deeply tender, heavy with a longing he could no longer hide. anthony broke away for a mere fraction of a second, his breath hitching as he rested his nose against yours, his lips brushing yours with every word he whispered.

"you are so beautiful," he murmured, his voice a rough, ragged low cadence against your skin. "so utterly brilliant. i cannot bear the thought of any other man holding you."

his thumbs gently wiped away the tear tracks on your cheeks, his dark eyes looking down at you with a reverence that made your heart swell. "no more masks," he whispered fiercely, pressing another soft, lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth. "never again for them. you are entirely perfect as you are, and i will spend every day ensuring you never feel the need to hide from me."

the kiss deepened once again, growing more intense as the initial shock melted away into a frantic, breathless rhythm. anthony’s hands moved from your face to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him as he deepened the kiss.

his mouth moving over yours with a desperate, overwhelming hunger. your fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, completely lost in the warmth of him, the room around you ceasing to exist as your hearts raced in perfect unison.

he pulled back for a fraction of a second, his forehead resting against yours as you both caught your breath, before he slid his lips down to the column of your neck, making you gasp softly. "you are mine," he murmured against your skin, his voice rough and laced with an intensity that made your knees weak. "tell me you know it."

"anthony," you breathed out, your hands tightening on his shoulders as he brought his lips back to yours, drowning out any reply you could have given.

suddenly, the sharp sound of heavy footsteps echoing down the corridor shattered the silence outside the study door.

"anthony? are you in there?" benedict’s muffled voice came from just down the hall, followed by the distinct rattle of the doorknob.

you both froze instantly. your eyes flew open, wide with panic, your hands instantly pushing against anthony's chest. anthony’s expression hardened, a curse muttering under his breath as he quickly stepped back, smoothing down his waistcoat in one fluid motion while shielding you from the door's line of sight.

"just a moment, benedict!" anthony called out, his voice remarkably steady despite his ragged breathing, though his eyes remained locked on you, dark and completely untamed as you frantically patted down your hair and smoothed your gown.

you quickly pressed the back of your hand to your lips, trying to cool the heat that still burned there, while your eyes darted frantically around the room.

anthony cast one last lingering, intense look your way before he crossed the study in two swift strides, turning the key in the lock just as benedict was about to rattle the handle again.

anthony swung the door open halfway, blocking the entrance with his broad frame. "what is it, benedict? i am occupied with estate matters."

benedict peered past his brother's shoulder, his eyes instantly catching sight of you standing near the desk, your cheeks flushed pink and your hair just slightly less pristine than it had been in the ballroom. a slow, knowing smirk spread across benedict's face.

"estate matters, is it?" benedict mused, raising an amused eyebrow. "right. well, mother is demanding your presence in the drawing room to bid farewell to lord tewkesbury. it seems he is leaving early, complaining of a sudden headache and a rather cold reception from the host."

anthony didn't look back at you, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward. "tell mother i shall be down momentarily."

"do not keep her waiting too long, brother. you know how she loathes a scene," benedict said with a cheeky wink, finally turning and walking back down the corridor, his laughter echoing faintly.

anthony closed the door, though he didn't lock it this time. he turned back to you, the heavy, serious air returning to his gaze as he walked back to where you stood. he took your gloved hands in his, his grip firm and reassuring.

"i must return to the guests," he murmured, his thumb rubbing the back of your wrist. "and you must slip back into the ballroom through the gallery entrance."

you looked up at him, your heart still hammering against your ribs, the remnants of the facade you had carried all evening completely gone. "and what exactly has changed, my lord?"

"everything," he said softly, a rare, genuine smile breaking across his features. "the season is over for you. you are done checking boxes for other men. tomorrow, i am speaking to your family, and i will be the one courting you. properly."

he pressed one final, fierce kiss to the palm of your hand before releasing you, leaving you breathless but entirely certain that the long years of hatred had finally brought you exactly where you belonged.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18 @kksturns

[rafeobx]

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 12 of WANNA BE YOURS

the walk back to the chateau was a blur of exhausting trails and heavy, suffocating silence. by the time clementine pushed open the creaking screen door, her eyes were dry, her heart felt entirely hollowed out, and her jaw was set.

the living room was exactly how she had left it, only the tension had mounted. maps were scattered across the floor, and john b was huddled over the table with pope, while jj paced like a caged animal. sarah sat quietly on the edge of the couch, her eyes snapping to the door the second clementine stepped inside. she gave clementine a subtle, searching look, trying to read the damage.

"where the hell were you?" jj snapped, though his anger was clearly fueled by pure panic over the missing gold. "you just vanished, clem."

"i was looking for answers," clementine said, her voice eerily calm as she stepped into the light of the single overhead bulb.

john b's shoulders visibly dropped, a sudden, breathless laugh escaping his lips as he looked up from the table. "wait, did you find something? did you track down where ward put it?"

"oh, thank god," kiara breathed, leaning against the doorframe as a wave of collective relief seemed to sweep through the tense room. jj stopped his frantic pacing, his defensive posture instantly softening as he looked at her with newfound hope. "tell me you figured out his shipping route or something, clem. give us some good news."

clementine swallowed the lump in her throat, the guilt of their misplaced hope twisting tightly in her stomach. she looked directly at john b. "ward doesn't have the gold. and neither does rafe."

the room went completely still. john b dropped his pencil. "what do you mean they don't have it?"

"i mean they're completely in the dark," clementine explained, crossing her arms tightly to keep from shaking. "ward is losing his mind because he thinks we have it. rafe has been tracking us because they're desperate for a lead. whoever cleaned out that cargo hold, it wasn't the camerons."

pope rubbed his temples, staring at his charts. "if ward didn't salvage it, and we didn't salvage it then who the hell did?" but john b's eyes never left clementine's.

john b stepped closer, his brow furrowed as he scanned clementine's face. "wait a second. clem, how do you even know that? how can you be so sure ward and rafe don't have it?"

"i just- i overheard some rafe down near the water," clementine said, shifting her weight and looking down at the scattered maps on the floorboards. "i'm telling you, they're completely blind."

"overheard rafe?" jj asked, crossing his arms, his eyes narrowing to sharp slits. "you just happened to stumble onto a top-secret cameron family meeting in the middle of the night? come on, clem. that's total bullshit. who did you talk to?"

"it doesn't matter who i talked to, jj." clementine's voice cracked, her hands clenching into fists inside her pockets. "what matters is the information. they don't have the gold!"

"it absolutely matters," john b shouted, stepping right into her space, his brow furrowed with deep suspicion as his eyes burned into hers. "we are risking everything out here. if you're getting intel from tannyhill, we need to know exactly who is feeding it to you. how can you be so sure they don't have it?"

pope looked between clementine and sarah, noticing the tight, strained silence passing between the two girls. "sarah, do you know what's going on?"

sarah swallowed hard, looking at clementine with a pleading glance, but the pressure in the room was reaching a boiling point. clementine knew she couldn't keep dodging john b's gaze.

the truth was suffocating her, pressing down on her chest until she could barely draw a breath. looking at the furious, exhausted faces of her friends, the weight of her silence became entirely too heavy to bear. they were spinning out, completely broken by the loss of the gold, and the fragile foundation of trust they all relied on to survive was already fracturing right in front of her.

every second she spent dodging john b's burning, suspicious glare only made the guilt twist tighter in her gut. she could see the phantom shadows of every lie she’d told over the past few weeks catching up to her all at once, trapping her in a corner. she had spent so long trying to walk the impossible line between protecting rafe and staying loyal to the pogues, stubbornly believing she could keep both worlds separate forever.

but standing in the harsh glare of the chateau's overhead light, she realized she had finally run out of room to hide. she couldn't let them go on thinking she was working against them, and she couldn't stand the thought of them tearing the island apart looking for a fortune that wasn't there.

the secret had become a poison, and the only way to stop the bleeding was to lay it all bare, no matter how badly it was about to destroy everything.

"i didn't overhear anything," clementine whispered, her voice trembling as she finally looked up, meeting john b's suspicious eyes. "i went to tannyhill. i went to see rafe."

"you went to see rafe?" john b repeated, his jaw tightening as he stared at her, completely stunned. "why the hell would you go to him?"

"because," clementine whisper, fighting back tears, the confession tearing out of her. "because we’ve been seeing each other. for weeks."

the living room went dead silent. the only sound was the low hum of the marsh crickets outside the screen door. jj stopped pacing, his face twisting into an expression of pure, unadulterated shock before it hardened into fury. pope slowly sat down, his eyes wide.

kiara let out a sharp, breathless laugh, her hands flying to her head as she backed up a step. "rafe? are you kidding me, clem? rafe cameron? the guy who is actively trying to ruin our lives, the guy who beat pope's head in with a golf club? you've been sneaking around with him?"

"did you tell him?" john b demanded, his face flushing red as his suspicion turned into outright anger. he stepped even closer, his glare cutting right through her. "did you tell him about the gold? about the wreck? is that how they found out?"

"what? no! never!" clementine cried, tears finally spilling over her cheeks as she backed up against the wall. "i swear to god, i never told him a single thing about the gold! i didn't even know he was tracking us until pope said something the other day! i would never betray you guys like that!"

"how can we believe you?" jj snapped, gesturing wildly toward tannyhill. "you've been sneaking around with the enemy for weeks, lying to our faces, and now the gold magically vanishes from the wreck? it looks like a setup, clem!"

"sarah, come on, look at her, she's lying to us!" jj yelled, turning to sarah for backup.

"she's not lying, jj!" sarah shouted, stepping directly between clementine and the rest of the group, her arms raised defensively. "she didn't tell him anything. rafe didn't get a single piece of information from her. i know because i've known about them, okay? i've known this whole time."

the room somehow managed to get even quieter, the tension turning thick and volatile.

jj let out a harsh, mocking laugh, taking a step back as he stared at sarah in pure disbelief. "you've known this whole time? are you kidding me right now? what, is this a family tradition? keeping secrets from the rest of us while we're out here working our asses off?"

"jj, back off!" john b ordered, though his voice cracked with a heavy, dangerous weight. he didn't look at jj, and he didn't look at sarah. his eyes remained locked entirely on clementine, the betrayal cutting deeper than any physical blow could. "sarah, you knew? you covered for her?"

"i didn't cover for her to hurt us, john b," sarah pleaded, her voice dropping as she looked around at the furious faces of her friends. "i found out, and i tried to protect her because i knew how messed up the situation was. but i know clem. she loves us. she would never sell out this family for my brother. you have to believe her."

"it doesn't matter if she kept her mouth shut about the coordinates, sarah!" john b yelled, the frustration finally boiling over as he gestured wildly around the small, dim living room. "she hid him from us! you lied to us, clem. every single day. every time we sat around this table planning our next move, you were going back to him."

"it doesn't even fucking matter anymore!" clementine suddenly shouted, her voice cracking as the raw emotional exhaustion of the entire night finally broke through.

she pulled herself away from the wall, tears streaming freely down her face as she looked at the judgmental circle of her friends. "it doesn't matter, because it's over. rafe and i are completely over. so think whatever you want about me, but don't act like i didn't choose you guys in the end."

the sudden outburst left the room completely stunned for a fraction of a second, but the apology wasn't enough to clear the heavy air.

"oh, so we're supposed to thank you?" jj snapped back, his voice rising again as he refused to back down, his eyes blazing with a mix of hurt and fury. "we're supposed to throw you a party because you finally decided to stop sleeping with the enemy? you still lied to us for weeks, clem. you brought him into this."

"i didn't bring him into anything, jj! i was trying to protect you." clementine yelled back, her chest heaving as she glared at him through her tears. she was furious that they couldn't see the sacrifice she had just made, furious that her guilt was being weaponized against her when her heart was already in pieces.

"you protected him," kiara countered sharply, her voice trembling but cold. she crossed her arms tightly, refusing to soften even as clementine sobbed. "you can be as mad as you want at us for judging you, clem, but you broke our trust. you don't get to just say sorry and expect everything to be fine."

john b stood by the table, his face set in a hard, distant line. he didn't yell this time, which somehow felt worse. "we're glad you chose us, clem. really. but it doesn't change the fact that you looked us in the eye and lied every single day. we can't just forget that because you're hurting right now."

the finality in his voice was the last straw. clementine couldn't take the suffocating weight of the room anymore, the judgmental glares, or the realization that she was completely alone on both sides of the island now.

wiping a fierce hand across her wet cheeks, she spun around and headed straight for the front door.

"clem, wait..." sarah called out, stepping forward with her hand outstretched, her voice laced with worry. "clem, just stay, please-"

but clementine didn't listen, she didn't slow down, and she didn't look back. she threw the screen door open, letting it slam shut violently behind her, and ran down the porch steps into the cool, dark marsh night, leaving the chateau and the broken remains of her family behind.

---

the salty breeze off the ocean hit her face, but it did nothing to cool the burning sting of her tears. clementine walked aimlessly along the shoreline, her feet sinking into the damp, heavy sand as the tide lapped at her sneakers. the beach was completely deserted, illuminated only by the pale, distant glow of the moon filtering through the heavy storm clouds.

every muscle in her body ached, but the thought of heading back home instead of the chateau made her stomach turn. she couldn't go back there. not tonight. the porch lights would probably be off, the living room smelling of stale beer and cheap whiskey, and her dad would either be passed out on the couch or looking for a fight. she couldn't handle his drunken shouting on top of the wreckage of her entire life.

running out of energy, her legs finally gave out. clementine collapsed onto the sand just above the high-tide line, pulling her knees tightly against her chest. she buried her face in her arms and let the heavy, sobbing breaths break through her throat completely.

the sound of her crying was swallowed up by the rhythmic, indifferent crashing of the dark ocean waves. she had lost rafe, she had lost the pogues, and she had nowhere safe left to go on the entire island. she just sat there in the dark, entirely isolated, letting the tide wash away the tracks of her tears as she broke down completely alone.

"clem?"

she slowly lifted her head from her knees, squinting into the darkness. a silhouette was standing just a few feet away on the wet sand.

it was rafe.

he stepped closer, his shoes sinking into the damp sand before he dropped down, kneeling directly in front of her. without a word, he reached out with both hands.

with one hand, he gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing across her skin to wipe away the fresh tears. with his other hand, his heavy silver rings caught the dim moonlight as he softly caressed the side of her head, moving the tangled, wind-blown hair out of her eyes and tucking it safely behind her ear.

the harsh, short bristles of his buzzcut caught the pale moonlight as he bowed his head slightly, his forehead almost resting against hers. the contrast between his rough, calloused hands and the absolute gentleness of his touch made a fresh sob catch in clementine's throat.

he looked completely undone. his shirt was wrinkled, and the rigid, icy mask he had worn in his bedroom had entirely cracked. the manic anger was gone, replaced by a desperate, hollow exhaustion that matched her own. he had clearly followed her all the way from tannyhill in the dark.

"whats wrong clem?" rafe whispered softly, his dark eyes glowing in the moonlight.

clementine shook her head, a ragged breath escaping her lips as she looked down at the sand. "everything," she whispered back, the word carrying the full weight of the night. "the pogues know about us. i had to tell them, rafe."

rafe's posture stiffened slightly, his jaw tightening as he processed her words, but he didn't pull away. instead, he remained kneeling in front of her, the distant sound of the waves filling the tense silence between them. "what did they say?"

"they hate me," she said bluntly, a single tear escaping and tracking down her cheek. "john b, jj, kie, pope. . . they look at me like i'm a stranger. they told me i broke their trust, and they're right. i lied to them for weeks."

rafe let out a low, bitter breath, his eyes searching hers. "so you chose them and they still threw you out?"

"i left," clementine corrected, her voice trembling but sharp. "because staying there felt like suffocating. but i can't go back to my house either, and i just... i don't have anywhere left to go."

rafe looked at her for a long moment, the manic edge completely gone from his expression, leaving only a quiet, grounded focus. he reached out again, his heavy silver rings cold against her skin as he gently nudged her chin up so she had to look at him.

"you have me," he said softly, his voice steady despite the chaos of the night. "i know we just blew up at each other. i know everything is completely messed up right now. but you're not staying out here on the beach alone, clem. come back to tannyhill. just to sleep. no talking, no fighting. just to sleep."

"okay," clementine hesitated, her eyes searching rafe's. he didn't waste a second. he stood up and offered her a hand, his heavy silver rings cold against her palm as he pulled her up from the damp sand.

the walk back to tannyhill was completely quiet, but the air between them felt different now--heavy, thick, and charged with a strange, magnetic pull that hadn't been there when they were screaming at each other earlier.

when rafe pushed open the back door to tannyhill, the house was completely dark and dead silent. he led her up the stairs, his shoes making almost no sound on the carpeted steps, until they reached his bedroom.

he clicked on a small bedside lamp, bathing the room in a dim, amber glow. the sudden closeness of the four walls made the space feel incredibly small. clementine stood near the edge of the bed, suddenly acutely aware of how close he was standing, the warmth radiating off him in the air-conditioned room.

rafe walked over to his dresser, pulling out a clean, oversized black t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatshorts. he turned around, his dark eyes instantly locking onto hers. he stepped closer, holding the clothes out, but he didn't let go of them right away when she reached to take them.

their fingers brushed, and the tension in the room snapped tight like a rubber band. rafe's gaze dropped to her lips for a fraction of a second before lifting back to her eyes, his breathing catching slightly in his throat. clementine felt her heart hammer against her ribs, the sheer magnetic pull of him making it hard to think straight.

they both wanted to close the tiny distance between them, the unsaid words hanging like smoke in the air, but neither of them dared to break the fragile boundary they had just set.

"bathroom's through there," rafe murmured, his voice incredibly low and rough as he finally let go of the clothes, clearing his throat and stepping back a fraction of an inch.

clementine took the clothes, the soft fabric a comforting weight against her hands, and nodded quietly. "thanks," she whispered, her voice barely carrying in the quiet room.

she stepped into the bathroom and shut the door, leaning her back against it for a long moment just to breathe. the mirror showed the exhaustion etched into her face. her eyes red-rimmed, hair tangled from the beach wind, and a smudge of sand on her cheek.

she washed her face with cold water, scrubbing away the salt and the tears, before changing into rafe's oversized clothes. the t-shirt smelled like him. a mix of clean laundry, expensive cologne, and a faint hint of weed. it swallowed her whole, the hem falling halfway down her thighs.

when she pushed the bathroom door back open, the main lights in the bedroom were off. only the faint amber glow of the bedside lamp remained, casting long, dramatic shadows across the floorboards.

rafe was sitting on the edge of the mattress, his head resting in his hands, his short buzzcut bristling between his fingers. he had changed into a pair of dark shorts, his bare shoulders looking broad and tense in the dim light. when he heard the door click, he looked up, his dark eyes instantly tracking her as she stepped back into the room.

the thick, unspoken tension rushed right back into the space between them. rafe slowly stood up, his height dominating the room as he closed the distance between them by a few paces. he stopped just a foot away, his gaze dropping to the way his t-shirt hung loosely off her frame before snapping back up to meet her eyes.

"you okay?" he asked, his voice a low, gravelly rasp that vibrated in the quiet room.

"i'm fine," she lied softly, her eyes locked onto his.

up close, she could see the pulse jumping in his jaw, the slight tremor in his hands before he shoved his thumbs into his pockets. the air felt heavy, almost suffocating with everything they weren't saying. he wanted to reach out, she could see it in the way his shoulders leaned in, and she wanted nothing more than to sink into the warmth of him and forget the entire outside world. but the boundary was there, invisible and fragile.

rafe swallowed hard, his eyes dropping to her lips for a lingering second before he forced himself to take a half-step backward, breaking the magnetic pull just enough to speak. "you take the bed. i'll sleep on the floor."

"you don't have to do that," clementine said quickly, her voice cutting through the quiet room before he could grab a blanket. "the bed is huge, rafe. just... stay."

rafe froze, his dark eyes snapping back to hers, searching her face to see if she was serious. the silence stretched between them, thick and heavy, until he slowly nodded. "okay."

he walked around to the other side of the mattress, the sheets rustling as he climbed in. clementine slid under the covers on her side, keeping her back toward the edge, completely hyper-aware of his presence. the bed was king-sized, leaving a wide expanse of mattress between them, but the space felt completely electric.

rafe lay on his back, staring up at the dark ceiling, his chest rising and falling in slow, heavy breaths. in the dim amber light of the lamp, clementine turned her head slightly, her eyes tracing the sharp line of his jaw and the tight set of his shoulders. right as she looked, rafe turned his head toward her.

their eyes locked in the dark.

neither of them moved. the heat radiating from his side of the bed seemed to bridge the distance completely, a magnetic, suffocating pull that made her skin tingle. rafe shifted slightly, his arm resting on the mattress just inches away from hers, his silver rings catching the faint light. she could hear the slight catch in his throat, seeing the way his gaze dropped to the small space dividing them before lifting back to her eyes, burning with a desperation to pull her closer.

the tension was unyielding, thick with everything they were fighting not to do, leaving them both suspended in the quiet, charged dark.

clementine slowly shifted beneath the covers, turning her body so she was fully facing him. the fabric of the sheets rustled softly against the mattress, the sound amplified in the quiet bedroom.

rafe didn't blink. as she moved, his head remained turned toward her, his dark eyes tracking every shift of her shoulders until they were looking directly at each other, mirroring one another in the dark.

the space between them felt even smaller now. with her facing him, the heat radiating from him was palpable, a constant reminder of how close he actually was. rafe’s gaze softened just a fraction, lingering on her face, tracing the curve of her jaw and the way his oversized black shirt slipped slightly off one of her shoulders. his fingers twitched against the mattress, his heavy silver rings catching the faint amber glow of the lamp, but he kept his hands still, holding himself back by a thread.

"clem," he whispered, his voice incredibly low, almost rougher than before. he didn't finish the thought, his jaw tightening as if the rest of the words were stuck in his throat.

"yeah?" she breathed back, her heart thumping against her ribs.

he didn't answer right away. he just kept his eyes locked onto hers, his breathing heavy and uneven in the silence. the unsaid things between them--the fight on the docks, the betrayal at the chateau, the absolute mess of their lives outside this room--seemed to evaporate, leaving only the sharp, magnetic pull drawing them together in the dark.

rafe slowly slid his hand across the small expanse of mattress separating them, his silver rings cool against the bedsheets until his knuckles just barely brushed against hers. the tiny point of contact felt like an electric shock in the quiet room.

"i'm sorry," he murmured, the words scraping out of his throat, his eyes scanning hers with a raw intensity. "for everything i said earlier. i didn't mean it."

clementine looked down at their touching hands, her breath hitching slightly before she looked back up into his dark eyes. "i know," she whispered.

the restraint in the room was almost unbearable. rafe shifted closer, closing the physical gap between them until she could feel the literal warmth of his chest radiating against her. his gaze dropped to her lips again, lingering there for a long, heavy second before he forced his eyes back up, his jaw tight with the effort of not crossing the final line.

he lifted his hand from the mattress, his fingers hesitating in the air before he gently rested the back of his hand against her cheek, his thumb softly tracing her cheekbone. clementine leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment as the sheer comfort of him washed over her, drowning out the chaos of the pogues and her dad.

when she opened her eyes again, rafe was watching her with a quiet, burning focus, his face just inches from hers. neither of them said another word, the suffocating, heavy tension holding them completely captive in the dark.

rafe's thumb stopped its tracing on her cheek, his hand sliding slowly up to cup the back of her neck, his fingers tangling into the damp strands of her hair.

the sudden silence that settled over the bedroom felt heavier than any of the chaos that had brought them there. rafe was lying beside her, the amber glow of the lamp catching the sharp lines of his face as he stared at her, his voice dropping into a quiet, unprotected register that she had never heard from him before.

"i love you," he murmured.

---

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18 @kksturns

[viviansturns]

i wanted to post this here just because i agree with every word of it.

[rafeobx]

soo i was thinking, psycho!reader is also a kook, rafe's childhood friend, they met in middle school when rafe became a bit troubled (as rose mentioned there's been something wrong with him since he was 10)

reader on the other hand has always been weird, has always had a bad temper and never let anyone push her around, she's not a bad person at heart but you definitely don't wanna cross her :p

they had their own fights too but she puts him in place, she's the only one who puts up with him because they are two sides of the same coin

eventually they started dating bc reader always had a lil crush on rafe, and rafe felt like she was the only one who cared about him and he always liked her too but he doesn't show it much, though she definitely knows that

i have a little scene in mind where ward called rafe to take care of gavin's body;

reader is sleeping over and she hears rafe getting out, she follows him and overhears them talking about how gavin blackmailed them with the gun rafe used. she comes out asking why did he lie to her (that it was john b who did it) and rafe and ward freak out because they think she's gonna turn them in, but she's actually just mad at him for hiding the truth and thinking he cant trust her. he is already tearing up and trying to explain and begging her not to leave, she reassures him by agreeing that it was necessary in order to protect his dad and shit, she's like idc just don't lie to me anymore 😭 she goes back inside saying she "saw nothing and was sleeping the enitre night" and lets them deal with their business

if you want you could turn it into a series with scenes like this were rafe is doing crazy shit and she'd do anything to make sure nothing happens to him, she doesn't mind getting her hands dirty either hihi

i was also thinking about that episode where rafe accidentally shoots sarah, maybe he could shoot reader by accident and completely lose his shit cuz he almost killed the one person who truly loves him but again she's fine, not even mad at him cuz "it was an accident", she just loves him blindly and in her eyes he can do no wrong

wait i love thissss :))))) i would love to write it!!

[rafeobx]

I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 11 of WANNA BE YOURS

"all right, gear up," john b said, adjusting the straps of his vest as the group prepped the diving equipment. within minutes, john b and jj were slipping into the rolling waves, their dive lights cutting thin, bright beams through the murky water below.

clementine stood by the water's edge, helping pope hold the guide lines. every second felt like an eternity. her mind kept drifting to rafe, wondering if he was already on his way here, or if he was still standing frozen on the deck of the druthers.

"we've got something!" jj's voice broke through the surf as he surfaced, spitting out his regulator and grabbing onto the side of the rocks. "there's a hull down there, completely wedged into the shelf. it's the merchant, guys. it has to be."

excitement surged through the group as john b surfaced right behind him, nodding fiercely. "the lower cargo hold is split open. we're going in."

for the next hour, the tension was suffocating. clementine watched the bubbles break the surface until finally, both boys scrambled back onto the pale sand, dragging themselves up the beach. but they weren't hauling heavy iron chests or gold bars. their hands were completely empty.

john b pulled off his mask, his face tight with a mixture of shock and sheer devastation. He looked up at the group, his voice trembling. "it's gone."

"what do you mean it's gone?" jj demanded, slamming his fins onto the sand in frustration. "the wreck is right there! we found the exact spot!"

"the cargo hold is completely clean, jj," john b said, his voice dropping into a hollow, defeated whisper. "the wood was splintered recently. someone used underwater salvage gear. someone already took it."

"no, no way," pope said, his eyes widening as he stared at the handwritten logs. "the coordinates were exact. nobody else had these records."

sarah stood completely still, her flashlight beam shaking against the sand as a terrible realization washed over her features. she slowly turned her head, looking at the high limestone cliffs, then back toward the open ocean. "my dad," she whispered, her voice cracking. "he didn't just find out about it today. there's no way he's been ahead of us the entire time."

jj let out a harsh, bitter yell, pacing the shoreline. "so that's it? the camerons win again? they just take everything we work for?"

clementine felt a cold, paralyzing weight settle deep into her chest. she stared at the empty dark water, the phantom echo of rafe's voice flashing through her mind: 'i'll fix this for him... i'm doing this so we don't have to hide anymore.' he hadn't been using her to find the coordinates. ward already had them. rafe had been tracking them to keep them away from the cove because the gold was already gone, moved into the tannyhill vaults days ago.

"we need to get back to the chateau," john b said quietly, the exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders as he began packing up the wet gear. "we can't stay out here in the open. we need to figure out our next move."

the ride back in the twinkie was completely silent, the celebratory energy from earlier entirely crushed. when they finally pulled up to the chateau, the screen door banged shut behind them as they piled into the dimly lit living room, dropping the empty bags onto the floorboards.

jj collapsed into a chair, his jaw set in a hard, furious line. "someone has to have gotten it out of the wreckage recently. if ward has it, it's sitting right inside tannyhill."

sarah sat on the edge of the table, burying her face in her hands. "if it's inside the house, he’s already planning to move it off the island. we're completely out of time."

clementine stood near the window, staring out into the dark marsh. she was entirely surrounded by her family, sharing their crushing defeat, while carrying the heavy, agonizing truth that the boy she loved was currently standing guard over the very fortune that had just broken their hearts.

john b ran a hand through his damp hair, pacing the length of the living room floorboards. "if ward already cleaned out that wreck, he’s going to try and get it off the island as fast as possible. a paper trail, a private flight, something. we need to figure out where he's holding it."

"it's gonna be locked down tight," jj muttered, kicking a stray piece of rope across the floor. "we can't just stroll into tannyhill."

clementine stood frozen by the window, her mind racing a mile a minute.

if ward has it, then rafe knows exactly where it is.

the thought hit her with a sudden, sharp clarity. rafe had been working right alongside his dad for days. he knew the logistics, the security, and where the gold was hidden.

even though she had just broken his heart on the docks, a desperate part of her believed she could still get the truth out of him. she just needed to see him one more time, away from the group.

quietly, clementine backed away from the window and slipped through the front door, letting the screen door click softly into place behind her. the humid night air hit her face as she stepped off the porch and began walking quickly toward the gravel driveway, her hands shaking as she reached into her pocket for her phone.

"clem! wait up!"

a voice cut through the dark, making clementine's stomach drop. she spun around to see sarah hurrying down the porch steps, her expression a mix of fierce intensity and deep suspicion.

"where are you going?" sarah asked, stopping just a few feet away, her eyes locked onto clementine's pale face.

"i just- i needed some air, sarah," clementine lied, stepping back slightly. "it's suffocating in there right now."

"you've been needing a lot of air lately," sarah countered, her voice dropping into a low, sharp whisper so the boys inside wouldn't hear. "clem, look at me. earlier tonight you lied about where you were, you came back looking like you'd seen a ghost, and the second we find out the gold is missing, you try to slip away. you're going to see him, aren't you? are you selling him info or something?"

clementine’s jaw dropped, a sharp sting of hurt slicing through the panic in her chest. "selling him info? sarah, are you serious? you think i would betray you guys?"

"i don't know what to think anymore!" sarah whispered fiercely, stepping closer, her eyes flashing in the moonlight. "you're hanging out with my brother as if you're best buddies all of a sudden! you've been acting distant for weeks, hiding your phone, running off into the dark. and now we find out my brother is actively hunting us down for my dad, and the first thing you do is try to sneak away? it doesn't look good, clem."

"i'm not helping rafe hunt you guys," clementine said, her voice shaking as she tried to keep it down. tears prickled the edges of her eyes again, hot and angry. "i would never do that to any of you. you're my family."

"then look me in the eye and tell me the truth," sarah pressed, her tone softer now but completely unyielding. "no more beach walks, no more dead battery excuses. where were you really before we went to the cove? who were you with?"

clementine swallowed hard, the weight of the secret crushing down on her. she looked back at the chateau, where the dim lights showed the silhouettes of the boys still frantically trying to figure out a plan.

she knew if she told sarah the complete truth, that she had been seeing rafe in secret, that she had fallen in love with him, and that she had just broken his heart on the tannyhill docks, it would change everything.

but she also realized she couldn't keep carrying the lie alone, not when everything they were fighting for was falling apart.

"i was at the docks," clementine confessed, her voice dropping to a raw, trembling whisper. "i went to confront rafe."

sarah froze, her eyes widening as she processed the words. "you went to see rafe? why?"

"because i thought he was using me," clementine choked out, a tear finally escaping and slipping down her cheek. "pope said he knew about the gold and that he was tracking us, and i thought he only stayed close to me to get information on what we were doing. i went there to look him in the eye and end it."

"end what, clem?" sarah asked, her voice breathy with shock as the puzzle pieces finally began to click into place. "what was there to end?"

clementine took a shaky breath, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "we've been seeing each other, sarah. in secret. since the night at the churchyard."

sarah stared at her, completely speechless, her jaw slightly slack as she tried to process the sheer weight of the confession. "you and rafe? clem, he's—"

"i know who he is," clementine interrupted, her voice breaking completely as a heavy wave of tears finally spilled over her eyelashes. "i know what everyone says about him, and i know what he's doing right now. but it didn't start out like this. when it was just us, he was different. and i tried so hard to stop it, sarah, i really did. but i couldn't."

she squeezed her eyes shut, her shoulders shaking as she let out a ragged, agonizing breath. "i'm in love with him. i fell in love with him, and it's killing me because i just had to look him in the eye and walk away forever to protect the people i care about."

the fierce, defensive anger that had been stiffening sarah's posture instantly dissolved. she looked at clementine, seeing the absolute, raw agony etched into her face, and the suspicion vanished entirely.

she pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes quickly with the back of her sleeve as her jaw set with a newfound resolve. "i have to go."

sarah blinked, surprised by the sudden shift. "what? go where?"

"if your dad already moved the gold, rafe is the only one who knows where it is right now," clementine explained, her voice growing steadier. "he knows the layout of tannyhill, and he knows what ward is planning. if i go to him alone, away from the docks, he might actually tell me where it is."

sarah looked at her with a mix of worry and caution. "clem, you just broke his heart. are you sure you can face him again right now?"

"i have to," clementine insisted, backing up toward the dark tree line. "i'm the only one who can get close enough to ask. go back inside and keep the boys distracted so they don't follow me."

"okay," sarah agreed softly, nodding as she watched her friend. "just please be careful."

clementine gave a tight nod before turning on her heel and slipping into the shadows of the trail, leaving the chateau behind as she made her way back toward tannyhill to face rafe once more.

the night air felt cooler now against the damp tracks of her tears as clementine moved through the dark brush, her focus locked on the silhouette of the cameron estate rising up in the distance. tannyhill was illuminated like an fortress against the pitch-black sky, light spilling out from the towering second-story windows onto the manicured lawns.

she kept to the shadows of the tree line, her mind racing with a hundred different ways this could play out. rafe was unpredictable under the best of circumstances, but tonight she had shattered the one piece of stability he thought he had. if he believed she was just returning to manipulate him, the entire thing would blow up in her face.

navigating around the side of the property, she avoided the main gravel driveway and slipped toward the back terrace. the druthers was no longer humming down by the private slips, indicating he had likely shut the engine down and come inside after she left him.

the french doors leading into the sunroom were unlocked. clementine pushed one open with a faint, agonizing click, stepping onto the cool marble floor. the house was unnaturally quiet, save for the low, rhythmic ticking of a grandfather clock down the hall.

the shadows of the sprawling house seemed to stretch over her as she navigated the quiet corridors, her heart thumping against her ribs. she knew the layout well enough to avoid the main living areas where ward might be lurking. making her way up the back staircase, she headed straight toward rafe's wing of the house.

when she pushed open the heavy wooden door to his room, the smell of cheap liquor and stale sweat hit her immediately.

the room was a disaster. a bedside lamp had been knocked over, casting a harsh, slanted glare across the floorboards. rafe was sitting on the edge of his mattress, his head buried in his hands.

a half-empty bottle of bourbon sat between his feet. when the door clicked, he snapped his head up, his eyes bloodshot, wild, and completely unfocused. the manic, volatile edge that usually terrified people was radiating off him in waves, but underneath the chaotic glare was a raw, hollow destruction.

"what are you doing here?" he rasped, his voice tearing out of his throat, rough and laced with alcohol. he staggered to his feet, swaying slightly as he glared at her, a bitter, unhinged laugh escaping his lips. "came back to finish the job, clem? came back to tell me what a monster i am again?"

"rafe, just listen to me—"

"no! you don't get to talk!" he shouted, throwing his glass of bourbon across the room, though he instantly lowered his voice, casting a paranoid glance toward the door before stepping closer to her.

he didn't touch her, but he paced around her like a caged animal, his hands twitching at his sides. "you broke my heart, clem. on the docks. you looked right at me and you threw me away. you think i was using you? i would have given you anything! i was doing all of this for us!"

"rafe, you're drunk," clementine said softly, her voice trembling as she watched him unravel. despite the terrifying, unpredictable energy vibrating off him, she could see how badly he was hurting.

"yeah, i'm drunk! because my dad thinks i'm a screw-up and the only girl who ever looked at me like i mattered just told me we're done!" he slammed his hand against the wall, the thud echoing in the tight space, but his eyes never left hers, filled with a desperate, fractured plea. "why are you here, clem? if you hate me so much, why are you in my room?"

"i don't hate you, rafe," clementine whispered, the truth tearing out of her chest as she watched him pace. tears blurred her vision, reflecting the harsh light of the overturned lamp. "if i hated you, it would be so much easier. i wouldn't have run all the way back here. i wouldn't be standing in this room right now."

rafe stopped his frantic pacing, his boots clicking heavily against the floorboards. he stared at her, his chest heaving under his shirt as he tried to process her words through the haze of alcohol and exhaustion. the manic, defensive glare in his eyes flickered, revealing the deep, painful vulnerability beneath it.

"then why?" he asked, his voice suddenly dropping from a shout to a broken, desperate plea. he took a half-step toward her, his hands still twitching but hanging loosely at his sides, careful not to crowd her space. "you said we were done. you said you didn't want me."

"because the future you're building with your dad is a trap, rafe," she said, her voice shaking but filled with a profound sadness. "look what it's doing to you. look at how it's tearing you apart. you're hurting yourself, you're hurting me, and you're hunting down the only people who have ever had my back."

she took a slow, tentative step closer to him, keeping her movements completely predictable. she could see the raw, shattering pain radiating from him, the classic, dangerous unravelling she knew he was capable of, but she also knew he would never direct that violence toward her.

"we went to the cove, rafe," clementine confessed softly, watching his jaw instantly tighten at the mention of the coordinates. "we went down to the shelf. the wreck is completely empty. someone already cleaned it out with salvage gear recently."

rafe’s eyes widened slightly, a flicker of cold, calculating reality cutting through his drunken state. he swallowed hard, his gaze shifting to the floorboards as if the pieces of a puzzle were suddenly shifting in his own mind.

"ward has it, doesn't he?" clementine pressed gently, her heart hammering against her ribs as she watched his expression closely. "you got to it before we could, didn't you?"

rafe let out a short, breathless laugh that sounded completely hollow, his head shaking slowly as he kept his eyes glued to the floor. he turned to clem, inching closer, his eyes narrowing on her.

"no," he whispered, his voice shaking with a mix of frustration and exhaustion. "no, clem. we don't have it. my dad doesn't have it either. we're still looking for it. he’s been running me ragged tracking your every move because we are completely in the dark, and he's losing his mind thinking you guys are going to beat us to the gold."

clementine stared at him, the sudden shift in the narrative catching her completely off guard. "but the wreck was completely empty, rafe. someone used salvage gear recently. if it wasn't ward, then who—"

"i don't know!" rafe cut her off, his hands fly up in frustration before he dropped them heavily back to his sides. he stepped even closer, his bloodshot eyes searching her face with an intense, desperate focus.

"all i know is that my dad is threatening to throw me out of this house if i don't figure out where it is. i've been driving around this island for days, barely sleeping, trying to find a single lead for him. i didn't use you for information, clem. i swear to god, i didn't. i was trying to keep you out of the crossfire."

the raw panic vibrating off him was undeniable. he wasn't standing guard over a fortune; he was trapped in the middle of a desperate race, terrified of failing his father, and completely broken by the realization that the gold might be gone for good.

"rafe, if nobody has it, then the wreck was cleaned out a long time ago," clementine said softly, her heart aching as she looked at his frantic state. "the coordinates we all have, they might just be pointing to an empty grave."

"no, it's out there. it has to be," rafe muttered, his jaw tightening as he paced back a step, the manic determination creeping back into his voice. "it's the only thing that fixes this. it's the only way he'll ever look at me like i'm his son."

"you don't have to prove anything to him, rafe," clementine said, her voice dropping into a fierce, quiet whisper. she took a definitive step closer, ignoring the heavy tension in the air, wanting nothing more than to clear the fog of panic in his eyes. "you are tearing yourself apart for a man who doesn't deserve the pieces. you don't need the gold to have value."

rafe stopped, his breath hitching as he stared down at her. a bitter, devastating smile flickered across his lips, his head shaking back and forth in absolute despair.

"you don't get it, clem. i do," he rasped, his voice cracking on the words. "if i lose him, i have nothing left. i'm completely invisible in this house."

he stepped closer, his chest heaving as he looked down at her, the wildness in his eyes fracturing completely into a raw, bleeding honesty. he reached his hands out, his fingers trembling in the space between them, desperate to touch her but too terrified of pushing her away again.

"i already watched you walk away from me on those docks tonight," rafe whispered, the admission sounding like it was being ripped straight out of his throat. "i already felt what it's like to have the room go completely dark because you're not in it anymore. if i lose his approval too, there’s nothing left of me."

the utter desolation in his voice sent a sharp, agonizing ache straight through clementine's chest. she could see the absolute, terrifying truth of his words. he had staked his entire existence on two things, and he was currently watching both of them slip right through his fingers.

clementine took a sharp step backward, the heavy, suffocating intensity of his words slamming against her like a physical force. she felt the cool, unyielding surface of the bedroom wall hit her shoulder blades as she backed away, her hands coming up instinctively to press flat against the plaster behind her.

"rafe, stop," she whispered, her voice trembling as she shook her head.

the raw, pleading desperation in his eyes was too much to take, and the walls she had spent the last few hours building around her heart were suddenly screaming to be put back up. she couldn't let herself get pulled back into his orbit, not when the chaos surrounding him was this volatile, and not when her friends were waiting for her back at the chateau.

rafe froze, his outstretched hands dropping slightly as he watched her retreat. the sudden distance between them seemed to hit him like a cold shock, the manic edge in his posture stiffening as he realized how far she had backed away from him.

the vulnerability that had fractured his expression just moments before vanished, replaced instantly by a familiar, icy mask. he drew himself up to his full height, his shoulders squaring as his jaw locked into a rigid, unyielding line. the desperate boy who had just been begging her to stay was gone, buried deep beneath a sudden wall of pure detachment.

he let out a short, biting laugh that didn't reach his eyes, his gaze turning sharp and mocking as he looked down at her.

"right," he said, his voice dropping into a low, freezing register that made the room feel entirely devoid of warmth. he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, casually tilting his head. "i get it now. you didn't run all the way back here because you actually cared, clem. you came to see if we were ahead of your little pogue crew."

"rafe—"

"save it," he interrupted, cutting her off with a harsh flick of his wrist. he took a slow step back, deliberately creating his own distance as he looked at her with total indifference.

"if you came here looking for the gold, you're out of luck. i already told you we don't have it. so you can go back to john b and the rest of them and tell them they're chasing a ghost. we're done talking."

the coldness in his voice sliced through the last of her defenses, leaving a raw, aching hollow in her chest. clementine looked at him, desperately searching his face for any glimpse of the boy from the cove, but the shuttered, unyielding expression on his features told her everything she needed to know. he was gone, hidden behind the walls he used to survive his father's house.

"i'm not trying to play you, rafe," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the roaring silence of the room. "i just wanted the truth."

a flicker of something broken crossed his eyes at her words, a momentary crack in the ice, but he didn't move. he didn't step forward, and he didn't call her baby. he just stood there, shadowed by the dim, slanted light of the overturned lamp, breathing heavily.

tears blurred her vision completely as she pulled herself away from the plaster wall. she didn't look down at the shattered glass on the floorboards, and she didn't give him another chance to push her away. turning on her heel, clementine walked toward the door.

each step felt heavy, like dragging her feet through wet sand. when she reached the threshold, she paused for a fraction of a second, her hand gripping the cold brass knob, hoping to hear his boots on the floor behind her.

she couldn't stop herself from turning her head, throwing one last look back into the dim room.

rafe wasn't facing her anymore. he had turned his back completely, staring out the dark window into the empty night, his shoulders rigid and tense. he looked completely unreachable, cast in the harsh, slanted light of the overturned lamp.

clementine swallowed the lump in her throat, letting go of the small hope that he would turn around. she stepped out into the hallway and pulled the heavy wooden door shut, the finality of the click echoing down the quiet corridor.

as she hurried down the back staircase and out into the cool night air, leaving the fortress of tannyhill behind, she knew some breaks could never be fixed.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

haaiii, I was wondering if you'd be interested to write about psycho!rafe (s2) x psycho!reader 👀

let me know and I'll send you some details i had in mind in the next ask :))

ofccc i would love to! let me knoww :)))

[rafeobx]

crawling back to you, r.c

pair: ex!rafe + maybank!reader

masterlist

plot: *takes place in season 4 of obx* rafe is your ex and you haven't really spoke in a few months and the wound is still fresh. when rafe decides to come along and help the pogues in morroco, your relationship rekindles and you realize your feelings for him never changed.

trying out a new font lol

the heat in morocco is heavy, but the tension between you and rafe is heavier.

it’s been months since you guys called it quits, right before everything went completely off the rails and he somehow ended up on the same side as the pogues.

you didn’t expect to see him here, let alone be crammed into the back of a sketchy transit van sharing joint with him while jj and john b argue about a map upfront.

"you look hot," rafe says softly, his voice cutting through the noise of the engine.

you glance over, eyebrow raised. "like-like attractive or like i'm sweating to death?"

a small, familiar smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. the kind that used to make your heart skip. "both. but mostly the second one."

"hilarious, cameron," you mutter, but you can't help the tiny smile that tugs at your own mouth.

it’s supposed to be fine. you both agreed before the flight that whatever happened back in the cut and figure eight stayed there. you’re here for the treasure, he's here for whatever redemption arc he’s trying to pull off, and you're supposed to be just friends. or at least, civil exes.

but then the van takes a sharp turn down a dirt road, throwing you sideways. rafe’s arm shoots out instinctively, catching your shoulder to steady you before you hit the door. his hand lingers for a second too long, his thumb brushing against your collarbone. his skin is warm, and the sudden contact sends a jolt straight down your spine.

you look up, meeting his blue eyes. the easygoing smirk is gone, replaced by that intense, heavy stare that always used to make you forget what you were saying.

"you good?" he asks, his voice dropping an octave.

"yeah," you breath out, suddenly hyper-aware of how close he is. "i'm good. thanks."

he doesn't move his hand right away. his eyes dip to your lips for a fraction of a second before he pulls back, clearing his throat and looking out the dusty window.

"just don't need you breaking an arm," he mutters, though his tone lacks any real bite. "your brother would blame me.

the mention of jj sours the air instantly. it’s the reminder of the massive, jagged line drawn between your past and your present. jj's hatred for rafe isn't just pogues versus kooks anymore.

it’s deeply personal, a volatile mix of old figure eight grudges and the fact that rafe represents everything that's ever hurt your family. jj looks at rafe and sees the guy who nearly drowned his best friend, the guy who walked around with unearned immunity while the rest of you bled for every inch of survival.

"he's right to blame you," you say softly, the words hanging between you in the stifling heat of the van. you don't pull away, though. instead, you let your gaze drop to his hand, which is still resting just an inch from your knee on the worn vinyl seat.

"he's trying to protect me, rafe. you can't exactly blame him for not trusting you after everything."

the weight of 'everything' sits heavy in the small space between you. it’s the history jj can't look past, but for you, the pain is entirely different. you had loved him so deeply, more than you had ever loved anyone, and when you were alone, he treated you like you were his entire world, doing absolutely everything for you.

however, you couldn't block out the reality of what happened whenever he stepped outside your door. even while he was holding you close, he was turning around and hurting the people you considered family, constantly putting your friends in danger.

you were trapped in a brutal cycle of loving a guy who would give you the world, but would ruthlessly destroy theirs. in the end, you couldn't live with the guilt of choosing your happiness over your friends' survival, and you had to walk away from the only boy you ever truly wanted, breaking both of your hearts in the process.

"i know what i did," he says, his voice dropping to a rough whisper that barely carries over the rattling engine. "but i'm here now. i'm helping you guys. i'm helping you."

"are you?" your breath catches as his eyes lock onto yours, heavy and searching. the space between you feels microscopic, charged with months of unspoken texts, angry breakups, and the lingering heat of how things used to be before the world fell apart. "or are you just running away from the obx?"

"i'm not running," rafe says, his gaze dropping down to your mouth, holding it there long enough to make your pulse hammer against your ribs. the tension is thick, suffocating, a dangerous reminder of how easily you two always collided.

his hand moves, his fingers brushing the fabric of your shorts as he shifts even closer. "if i wanted to run, i wouldn't have come to the one place where everyone hates my guts. think about it." up front, jj barks out a laugh at something john b says, the sound loud and abrasive, shattering the quiet bubble you and rafe are trapped in.

you blinks, the spell breaking just enough for him to pull back a fraction, though his eyes remain dark and fixed on you. "just-don't do anything stupid out there," you mutters, your voice strained as he looks out the window.

he swallows hard, his jaw tight as he processes your words. for a second, it looks like he wants to argue, to give you one of those defensive, reckless excuses he used to use back in the outer banks. but instead, he just lets out a slow, heavy breath, looking away from you and staring out at the blurred horizon of the moroccan desert.

"i'm not trying to make things harder for you," he says quietly, his voice completely stripped of the usual cameron bravado. "i know i messed up with your friends, with you. but i’m trying to fix it. for you"

you look down at your hands, your fingers tightly laced together in your lap to keep them from shaking. the proximity of him, the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the dusty heat of the van, is making it impossible to think straight.

"you can't fix everything in one trip, rafe," you murmur, your voice barely audible over the hum of the tires on the dirt road. "and you can't expect me to just forget."

"i don't expect you to forget. i just- i need you to know that losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me. and being near you right now, pretending like we're just strangers sharing a ride, is tearing me apart."

the honesty in his voice hits you like a physical wave. it’s the exact tone he used when it was just the two of you, away from the chaos of his family and the loyalty to your friends. it's the rafe you fell in love with, the one you had to leave behind.

you swallow hard, trying to blink away the sudden sting in your eyes. "rafe, don't. don't do this here."

"i'm serious," he presses on, leaning a fraction closer, his warmth radiating across the small gap between you. "every time i see you look at me with that look in your eyes, like you're waiting for me to screw up again, it kills me. i did everything for you. you know that."

"but you also hurt the people i love," you whisper back, the reminder sharp and painful. "you can't separate the two, rafe. you can't be everything to me and a nightmare to them. i couldn't keep carrying that guilt."

his gaze drops to your lips for the third time, the silence between you suddenly loud and suffocating. the air in the van is hot, but the pull between you is an electric current, dragging you both backward into memories of late nights, quiet promises, and a love that was too heavy to survive.

"alright, we're here!" john b’s voice suddenly booms from the front, the abrupt sound shattering the heavy quiet in the back.

the van brakes hard, sending you forward slightly, but this time rafe doesn't reach out. he just holds your gaze for one last, agonizing second before the side door is thrown open by jj, letting the harsh moroccan sunlight pour into the cramped space.

jj’s eyes immediately dart between the two of you, his brow furrowing as he takes in the lingering tension. he holds out a hand to help you down, his posture rigid. "come on," he mutters, shooting a brief, cold look at rafe before guiding you away from the van.

the moroccan heat hits you the second your boots touch the dusty ground. the group clusters near the back of the vehicle, huddled around a worn map spread out on the hood. john b, jj, pope, and kiara are in deep conversation of how to follow the clues to find the blue crown.

the group moves further into the market, the crowded streets forcing everyone to walk in pairs. john b and jj lead the way, while sarah deliberately slows her pace to walk side-by-side with rafe.

"you're staring," sarah says quietly, her eyes scanning the colorful stalls but her attention completely on her brother.

rafe tears his gaze away from your back, looking down at his sister. "i'm not staring."

"rafe, you're practically burning a hole through her," sarah replies, a soft, teasing smile on her face. it's a massive change from how things used to be between them; the sharp edges of their past have finally started to blur into real, mutual support. she shifts her map to her other hand. "she still loves you, you know. she just-she carries a lot of jj's weight."

rafe sighs, running a hand through his hair. "i know. she's his sister, sarah. every time he looks at me like he wants to kill me, i can see it tearing her apart. i hate that i put her in the middle of that."

"so show her you're different now," sarah says gently, bumping her shoulder against his. "you're doing it with me. you can do it with her too."

rafe looks ahead at you again. the crowd suddenly surges as a vendor moves a large display, and you're pushed slightly off balance. before jj can even turn around, rafe steps forward instinctively, his hand catching your elbow to steady you.

"i got you," he murmurs, his grip warm and solid.

you look up, your eyes meeting his blue ones, and the familiar spark between you two flares up instantly. his hands instantly find your waist to steady you, his touch firm and certain amidst the chaos. you don't pull away. instead, you let your hand rest against his forearm for a lingering moment. "thanks, rafe."

jj turns around then, his eyes immediately dropping to rafe's hand on your arm. his jaw clenches, but before he can snap, sarah steps in smoothly, grabbing jj's attention with a question about the map.

"you okay?" he asks, his voice low, his head tilting down so his breath brushes your forehead.

"yeah," you whisper, looking up into his eyes. the harsh moroccan sun catches the blue in them, but the look he's giving you is soft, entirely stripped of the anger that used to define him. "i'm okay."

up ahead, sarah notices the shift. she catches your eye over jj’s shoulder and gives you a small, encouraging nod before deliberately asking jj another loud question about the map, keeping his back turned to give you both space.

rafe doesn't let go of your waist, and you don't move your hands from his chest. the noise of the market seems to dull into background hum, the heavy guilt and the painful memories of the outer banks finally starting to give way to the simple, undeniable pull that has always existed between you.

the crowd swells again, a sudden rush of people separating the two of you from the rest of the group. rafe takes your hand, his grip firm and reassuring, and gently guides you down a quieter, shaded alleyway to get out of the main path. the noise of the market fades, replaced by the quiet rustle of tapestries hanging from stone walls.

you stop against the cool stone, catching your breath. rafe stands close, blocking out the rest of the world, his eyes scanning your face with an intensity that makes your heart race.

"we lost them," you breathe out, looking back toward the busy street.

"sarah knows what she's doing. she'll keep jj busy," rafe says, stepping a fraction closer. the shade of the alley does nothing to cool the sudden heat flare between you. "i'm glad we're alone. i feel like i haven't been able to actually talk to you without feeling like a target."

"it's hard, rafe," you say, looking down at his shirt before meeting his gaze again. "being near you... it brings back everything. the good things, but also how much it hurt to leave."

"i know i put you through hell," he murmurs, his voice cracking slightly. he reaches up, his fingers gently brushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his touch so tender it makes your eyes sting. "but i swear to you, i'm trying to be the guy you always deserved. i haven't stopped thinking about you. not for one second."

the honesty in his voice cracks the last of your restraint. the tension that has been building since you first sat next to him in the van completely takes over, thick and heavy with months of unspent longing.

"i never stopped thinking about you either," you admit softly.

rafe’s breath hitches. his gaze drops down to your lips, and this time, he doesn't pull back. he leans down, closing the remaining distance between you, and presses his lips to yours.

the kiss is slow at first, full of all the unspoken words and built-up ache of your time apart, but it quickly deepens as his hands move to cup your face. it feels exactly like coming home, the chaos of the treasure hunt and the complicated family ties melting away into the quiet alleyway, leaving just the two of you finally finding your way back.

the kiss shifts, the slow hesitation completely melting away as rafe pulls you flush against him. his hands slide from your face down to the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair to hold you close, while your hands grip the fabric of his shirt. the sheer weight of the months you spent apart pours into the space between you, making the moment feel desperate and electric.

he presses you slightly back against the cool stone wall of the alley, his lips moving against yours with a fierce, possessive intensity that completely blocks out the rest of the world. it’s heavy, breathless, and packed with all the tension that had been building since you first looked at him in the back of the van. you can feel the slight tremble in his touch, a silent admission of how much he’s missed you, and you pull him even closer, letting go of the past entirely.

when he finally pulls back a fraction, his forehead rests against yours, both of your breaths coming in short, uneven gasps. his thumb gently traces your lower lip, his blue eyes dark and completely blown out as he looks down at you.

"i'm not letting you go this time," he whispers, his voice rough and certain in the quiet shade. "i don't care what it takes."

the sound of rapid footsteps echoing down the stone alleyway shatters the quiet, and you both jump apart just as the pogues round the corner.

within seconds, you're completely surrounded. jj steps out in front, his face flushed from the heat and his jaw locked so tight you can see the muscle ticking. john b, pope, and kiara form a tense semi-circle behind him, while sarah lingers slightly to the side, looking between you and rafe with wide, knowing eyes.

jj ignores rafe entirely at first, stepping directly into your space. his blue eyes scan your face, searching for any sign that you're hurt or in trouble. "where the hell did you go?" he asks, his voice low but vibrating with protective anger. "we turned around and you were just gone. i told you to stay right behind me."

you try to focus on your brother, to listen to his voice, but your gaze instinctively drifts past his shoulder.

standing just a few feet away, rafe is leaning casually against the stone wall, his hands tucked loosely into his pockets. he isn't even trying to look innocent. instead, his eyes are fixed entirely on you, and a slow, smug grin is spreading across his face.

"i'm fine, jj," you say softly, your voice still a little breathless, though your eyes never leave rafe's. "the crowd just pushed us back."

jj glances between you and rafe, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the flushed, happy look on your face and the unmistakable grin on rafe's. he lets out a sharp breath, clearly not buying the story, but the urgent shouting of merchants down the main street cuts off whatever he's about to say.

"we need to move," john b says, stepping between jj and rafe, his hand on jj's shoulder to pull him back. "the guys we're looking for are heading toward the square. we don't have time for this right now."

as you're led out of the alley, you look back over your shoulder one last time. rafe is falling into step right behind you, his hands in his pockets, his grin softening into something more genuine as his eyes lock onto yours. the secrets, the danger, and your brother's anger are still waiting, but as you walk out into the crowded heat, the heavy weight in your chest is finally gone.

[rafeobx]

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

trope: brother's best friend + friends w/ benefits

masterlist

part 2 to boyfriend

warnings: fluff

you were still sitting in dean's lap, your hands resting against his chest, but the looming shadow of your older brother felt incredibly loud in the quiet living room.

"we can't do this," you whispered, though you didn't actually make any move to get up. you were still mere inches away from dean, your noses touching and your mouths still parted against one another, breath mingling in the quiet space between you.

dean's eyes flicked down to your lips before meeting your gaze again, his hands staying steady on your hips. "define 'this.' because from where i'm sitting, it felt like we already did it."

"you know what i mean. garrett will literally murder you," you said, your voice barely a breath against his. "and besides, you don't do commitment. you don't do drama. i just got out of a massive disaster with hunter, and the last thing i need is a relationship."

dean leaned back just a fraction, his nose sliding against yours as he studied your face. "so, we keep it between us," he suggested, his voice low and private. "no drama. no strings attached. just friends with benefits. garrett never has to know, the campus never has to know, and you get a distraction from your ex."

you blinked, your heart skipping a beat. the idea was dangerous, completely reckless, and bound to complicate things. but looking at dean, with his messy hair and the intense way he was waiting for your answer, you knew you were already past the point of turning back.

"friends with benefits," you repeated, testing the words out loud. "no feelings. no telling my brother. the second sunday comes and the guys get back, we go completely back to normal."

"completely normal," dean agreed, a slow grin spreading across his face. he leaned up, pressing one last, lingering kiss to the corner of your lip. "it's a deal, sweetheart."

dean’s smile faded into something dark and focused, his gaze dropping to your mouth before he leaned back in. the touch of his lips was heavy, instantly cutting off any thought of your brother or the stormy night outside. he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his mouth moving against yours with a slow, deliberate heat that sent a rush of adrenaline straight through you.

his hand slid up from your hip, his fingers tangling into the fabric of the oversized briar jersey at the back of your neck to pull you closer, anchoring you to him. you wrapped your arms tightly around his shoulders, your fingers clutching at his shirt as the rhythm of the kiss grew more urgent.

it was entirely consuming, the kind of kiss that left you completely breathless, with nothing but the sound of the rain outside and the warmth of him filling the quiet room.

every point of contact felt heightened in the quiet house, the steady weight of his hands on your waist grounding you while the kiss continued, deep and uninterrupted. there was an effortless shift in the way he moved against you, a slow, magnetic pull that made it impossible to think about anything beyond the living room.

your hands slid from his shoulders up into his messy hair, pulling him a fraction closer as the heat between you flared. he let out a low, ragged groan against your mouth, shifting his weight slightly on the cushions to bring you flush against his chest.

the intensity of it was dizzying, a blur of motion and warmth that left both of you completely caught up in the rhythm they had started, completely tuning out the world outside the front door.

dean lifted you from the couch, making his way up the stairs to his bedroom. he dropped you on the bed, his lips never leaving yours as he pinned your hands on the side of your head. dean was completely on top of you, his knee in between your legs.

the kiss deepened, entirely consuming, until the sudden, heavy thud of the front door slamming downstairs echoed straight through the floorboards.

"yo, dean! we're back!" garrett's voice boomed from the entryway, followed by the unmistakable sound of heavy hockey bags hitting the floor. "they canceled the rest of the weekend games because of the storm! i'm home!"

dean froze instantly, his lips breaking away from yours as his head snapped toward the bedroom door. your eyes widened in pure panic, your heart hammering violently against your ribs as the reality of the situation crashed down.

"shit," dean muttered under his breath, his voice rough and laced with sudden adrenaline.

"oh my god," you whispered, frantically scrambling backward on the mattress to get some distance. "he's downstairs. garrett is downstairs. what do we do?"

"just breathe," dean hissed in a rushed, quiet whisper, running a hand through his completely wrecked hair to try and smooth it down. he looked down at his shirt, then at you in the giant hockey jersey, his usual cool confidence replaced by genuine panic. "if he comes up those stairs right now, we're dead."

"dean? you up there?" garrett's voice called out again, his footsteps already moving toward the kitchen. "did my sister make it over?"

"yeah! she's here!" dean shouted back, trying to force his voice into its usual casual, bored drone. "what are you doing?! are you fucking insane?" you whisper-yelled, your heart was pounding so loudly against your ribs you were convinced garrett could hear it from the first floor.

he pointed a finger at you, his eyes wide as he gestured wildly toward the door. "go. run to garrett's room right now. i'll stall him."

you didn't need to be told twice. you scrambled off dean's bed, practically diving out into the hallway as quietly as possible. you threw open the door to garrett's room across the hall, slipped inside, and shut it just as the stairs began to creak.

you pressed your back against the heavy wood of garrett’s door, holding your breath so hard your chest ached. your hands were still shaking as you smoothed down the front of the garret's oversized hockey jersey and shorts, trying to erase any evidence of the chaos that had just gone down across the hall.

outside, the floorboards groaned under garrett's heavy basketball tread.

"yo, dean," garrett’s voice was closer now, right at the top of the landing. "man, the drive back was brutal. flooded roads everywhere. tucker almost hydroplaned us into a ditch. where's my sister?"

"in your room," dean’s voice cut in. you could hear him leaning against his own doorframe, his tone perfectly capturing that lazy, unbothered cadence he always used around the guys. if you hadn't just seen him panicked two seconds ago, you would have believed he’d been doing nothing but playing video games all night. "she got in a little while ago. soaking wet and completely exhausted. i told her to just crash in your bed."

"she okay?" garrett asked, his voice instantly dropping into protective older brother mode. "did she say anything about hunter?"

"not much," dean replied smoothly. "just that it's over and she needed a place away from him. i gave her some tea and told her to get some sleep. i'd leave her be until morning if i were you, man. she looked wiped."

a heavy silence hung in the hallway for a second, and your heart did a violent double-thump against your ribs. you prayed garrett wouldn't decide to turn the doorknob just to check on you.

"yeah, alright," garrett finally sighed, the sound of his footsteps moving away toward the bathroom. "good looking out, di laurentis. i'm gonna hit the shower and pass out myself."

hear his bedroom door click shut, followed by garrett turning on the shower down the hall, you finally let out a massive breath, sliding down the back of the door until your knees hit the carpet.

your lips were still tingling, your mind was completely reeling, and you realized that surviving the weekend with dean di laurentis was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

you fell back onto the bed, running your hands over your face when your phone pinged.

dean: that was way too close baby

dean: fuck i miss your lips already

you stared at the screen, your heart doing a fresh flip as you read the messages. you quickly typed back, keeping your thumbs flying across the keyboard in a frantic whisper of taps.

you: you're insane he's literally across the hall

you: and stop calling me baby we're supposed to be normal now

a second later, the dots appeared, and his reply popped up almost instantly.

dean: i am normal. just a normal guy who happens to think his friend's sister is a very good kisser.

dean: but fine, rules are rules. get some sleep. see you at breakfast

dean: baby ;)

you stared at the glowing screen, a mix of panic and a helpless smile washing over you. you quickly typed back a reply, your fingers moving as fast as possible to avoid making any sound.

you: you are literally impossible. goodnight, dean.

locking your phone, you slid it under your pillow and pulled garrett's heavy comforter up to your chin. the sound of the shower down the hall finally cut off, replaced by the quiet, steady hum of the house and the relentless rain outside.

your mind was spinning in a thousand different directions. just a few hours ago, you were fleeing your own apartment, completely overwhelmed by the disaster with hunter. now, you were hiding in your brother's bedroom, your lips still tingling from a secret hookup with his best friend.

if garrett found out, he would kill dean.

dean was a notorious player, your brother's teammate, and completely off-limits. but as you closed your eyes and tried to settle into the quiet room, you knew that maintaining the "friends with benefits" boundary with someone like dean was going to be a lot easier said than done.

taglist:

@purplerainx1

[rafeobx]

YOU LIED, YOU LIED, YOU LIED

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 10 of WANNA BE YOURS

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO LOGICAL BY OLIVIA RODRIGO WHILE LISTENING TO THIS (ON REPEAT) lol

the morning sun was just starting to climb over the tree line, casting long, sharp shadows across the north ridge clearing as john b pointed his flashlight toward the faint, carved symbol on the base of the old stone structure.

"this aligns perfectly with the parcel coordinates," he whispered, his voice tight with adrenaline. "if we dig right here, we're ahead of the game."

clementine nodded, trying to force her mind to focus on the crumbling stone, but her chest felt completely tight. the memory of rafe's hands and lips lingered, making her skin tingle despite the chilly morning air up on the ridge.

she could still feel the phantom sensation of his long fingers wrapping around her waist, and the intoxicating weight of him calling her baby still echoed so loudly in her ears it drowned out the boys' hurried whispering. the terrifying reality that she was completely, irrevocably in love with him made the ground beneath her sneakers feel completely unsteady.

"we think so," john b whispered, pointing his light closer toward the faint, carved symbol on the base of the old stone structure. "this aligns perfectly with the parcel coordinates. if we dig right here, we're ahead of the game."

clementine nodded, trying to focus on the task at hand, but the distant, low rumble of an engine out on the water kept echoing in her mind. she knew rafe was out there, driven by a desperate need to prove himself to his father, and time was rapidly running out for all of them.

meanwhile, inside the grand, wood-paneled office at tannyhill, the heavy silence was shattered as ward slammed his fist down onto the mahogany desk. maps, old shipping logs, and property deeds rattled under the force of the blow. ward paced behind the desk, his breathing heavy, his face twisted with an intense, desperate pressure that had been building for days.

"they're closing in on it, rafe," ward said, his voice dropping into a harsh, urgent whisper as he pointed a finger at the charts. "those pogues are digging around where they don't belong, and we cannot let them get to it first. i need you on this. i need you to help me intercept it before they take everything. can i count on you to do what needs to be done?"

a switch seemed to flip inside rafe as he listened to his dad. the lifelong, desperate need to finally be the son his father wanted completely took over, drowning out any hesitation or late-night promises.

a sharp, intense focus locked into his features, and his jaw tightened into a hard, unyielding line. the volatile, unpredictable drive that always lurked just beneath his surface flared to life as he looked at his father.

"i'll handle it, dad," rafe said, his voice dropping into a low, chillingly calm register. "i'll find out exactly what they know. those pogues aren't taking anything from us."

over the next few days, rafe threw himself into the task, spending his mornings driving around the island with ward to map out the pogues' recent movements and his nights tracking leads near the old parcels. his mind became a blur of pressure to deliver for his father, leaving him almost entirely unavailable.

meanwhile, clementine sat on the porch of the chateau, staring down at her phone as the afternoon sun began to dip. the contrast between the loud, chaotic laughter of the pogues around her and the sudden radio silence from figure eight was starting to make her stomach twist. pulling up their texts, she typed out a quick message, hoping for the boy who had held her on the beach.

clem: hey. are you going to be at the churchyard later tonight? miss you.

she waited, watching the screen until the little typing bubbles finally appeared, only to disappear again. a few minutes later, a brief, freezing reply popped up on her screen.

rafe: can't tonight, i'm busy helping my dad.

clementine frowned, a cold knot of anxiety forming in her chest. she tried to tell herself he was just dealing with family issues at tannyhill, but the abruptness felt like a total step backward, leaving her completely in the dark while rafe slipped further and further into his father's world.

across town, pope was trying to finish up his grocery deliveries at the midday docks when a familiar voice cut through the humid air. he ducked behind a stack of shipping pallets, he saw rafe pacing the deck of his boat, a phone pressed to his ear.

"i don't care what it takes!" rafe yelled, gripping the railing. "my dad needs this settled. if those pogues are anywhere near the parcel, you tell me immediately. that gold belongs to us"

pope’s eyes widened in panic. waiting just long enough for rafe to turn around, he abandoned his delivery run and sprinted toward his truck. he ran all way back to the chateau, slamming the chateau's screen door open.

pope burst into the living room, dripping with sweat. "guys, we have a massive problem. it's rafe." he panted "he knows about the gold. he's trying to intercept it for ward."

the room went dead silent. clementine felt the blood run entirely cold in her veins, her fingers freezing against the old merchant map.

"what do you mean he's tracking us?" john b demanded, slamming his hands flat against the table. "how does he even know about the parcel?"

"i don't know, but he was screaming on his boat," pope panted, wiping his forehead. "he said ward needs it settled and that he's not letting the us touch a single piece of it. he sounded completely unhinged."

jj let out a harsh, furious laugh. "of course he did. because the camerons can't let us have a single damn thing. i knew that psycho was lurking around for a reason."

sarah stood up slowly, her face pale. "if my dad has rafe hunting for it, they aren't going to stop." she shifted her gaze, looking over at clementine with a sudden, sharp intensity.

a suffocating wave of panic pressed down on clementine's chest. the abrupt text messages, the short rejections--rafe wasn't just pulling away because he needed space. he was working for ward, actively hunting the people closest to her, all while she had been sitting on the porch missing him.

"clem?" sarah's voice cut through her thoughts, her eyes locked on clementine's pale face. "are you okay?"

"yeah," clementine choked out, forcing her hands to stop trembling. "yeah, i'm just... shocked."

"well, i'm not," jj snapped, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. "if rafe cameron wants a fight over this gold, he's gonna get one. john b, let's go."

"wait, stop," clementine said, stepping into the middle of the room to block the doorway. "just hold on a second. if you go out there looking for a fight, it's only gonna make things worse. this is exactly what he wants. he wants you guys to get angry and sloppy so he can catch you and take everything."

sarah stepped up beside her, nodding slowly. "she's right. if my brother is doing this for my dad, he's looking for an excuse to shut us down completely. if we rush out there furious, we're walking into a trap."

"so what, we just sit here and let him find it first?" jj demanded, gesturing wildly toward the door.

"no, we don't sit here," clementine insisted, forcing her voice to stay steady despite the terror tightening her throat. "but we have to be smarter than him. we use the maps, we find the parcel quietly, and we avoid him entirely. if he doesn't know where we are, he can't intercept anything."

as the pogues piled into the twinkie, their loud, tense brainstorming filling the cramped van, clementine sat near the back window, her mind completely elsewhere. the second the van pulled up near the marsh drop-off to scout the trails, she waited for the group to get distracted by the brush before quietly slipping away into the thick trees.

he didn't care about getting caught by ward or sarah anymore; the anger and betrayal overrode every bit of caution she had left.

her eyes caught the sleek outline of the druthers idling by the private tannyhill dock, the low hum of the engine vibrating through the humid air. rafe was on the deck, tossing a set of heavy tie-down ropes into a locker, his movements sharp and intensely focused.

clementine marched down the wooden planks of the dock, her sneakers slapping loudly against the wood until she threw her weight over the boat's railing.

"are you fucking serious!" she shouted, her voice shaking with a volatile mix of anger and hurt as she confronted him.

rafe spun around, his eyes widening in pure shock as he took her in, his jaw instantly tightening as he glanced back toward the main house to make sure they were still alone. "clem? what the hell are you doing here?"

"you're tracking my friends, rafe?" clementine's voice cracked, a volatile mix of anger and absolute betrayal vibrating through her entire frame. "all those nights we spent talking? did you just stay close to me to get information? were you using me this whole time to find out how close the pogues were to the gold?"

rafe stepped toward her, his hands coming up defensively as his jaw clenched. "what? no! clem, that’s insane, you know that’s not true--"

"is it?" she pressed, taking a sharp step back, refusing to let him get close enough to touch her. "because the second your dad gives you a chance to play the golden boy, you turn around and use everything against us. you've been avoiding me all week because you were too busy planning to rob the people i care about."

"clem, listen to me," rafe urged, his voice dropping into a desperate, frantic whisper as his eyes darted toward the tannyhill lawn. "my dad needs me on this. if i don't fix this for him, i'm nothing. i lose everything. i'm doing this for our future too, so we don't have to keep hiding."

"if protecting 'our' future means hurting my friends in the process, i don't want it," clementine whispered, a cold, unyielding clarity settling over her chest. the love she felt for him didn't vanish, but the sharp realization of what he was willing to do completely broke something inside her. "you're losing your mind over what ward wants, and i'm not letting you drag me down with you. we're done, rafe."

rafe froze, his chest heaving as the words hit him like a physical blow. the manic intensity in his eyes instantly fractured, replaced by a raw, devastating look of utter despair as he stared at her. "clem, please, don't do this," he pleaded, his voice cracking with a sudden, panicked desperation as he reached out for her. "baby, just tell your friends to back off the parcel and nobody gets hurt. don't make me choose."

"you already made your choice," clementine said, looking him dead in the eye as she stepped backward toward the boat's railing. "don't ever text me again."

she threw her weight over the side of the druthers, her sneakers hitting the wooden planks of the dock with a heavy, final thud. she didn't look back at him as she broke into a dead sprint, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she flew down the trails toward the north ridge cut-off, leaving him behind in the shadows of tannyhill.

there were three missed calls from john b and a string of texts filling the group chat.

jj: where the hell did you go clem? we're at the north ridge cut-off. get over here.

sarah: clem, we need you. john b thinks he found the trail marker but we need to move before anyone sees us.

another one from sarah:

sarah: please tell me you're not with rafe.

clementine’s breath hitched in her throat as she stared at the last message from sarah, the text flashing on the screen like a physical warning. please tell me you're not with rafe. sarah's instincts were too sharp, and the fact that she was already putting the pieces together made the panic flare up ten times worse in clementine’s chest. she could hear the distant roar of the druthers engine behind her, a low rumble cutting through the humid air, reminding her that rafe was already putting his plan into motion.

she forced her trembling fingers to type out a quick, frantic reply to sarah, her heart hammering against her ribs.

no. just got caught up at the chateau getting extra flashlights. heading to the north side now. see you in ten.

she pushed through the final row of thick vines, her sneakers skidding slightly on the loose gravel before the ground flattened out. clementine froze, the breath catching completely in her throat as she looked around the clearing.

her stomach dropped into a cold, sickening knot. out of all the hidden corners on the island, the parcel coordinates had led them straight down the steep, rocky path to the exact same secluded cove.

the pale sand still looked almost white under the sun , and the water lapped against the shore in the same gentle, crystal-clear ripples. but the thick blanket, the warm amber glow of the lantern, and the low music were gone. instead, the quiet, romantic sanctuary where rafe had held her just days ago was now a dark, high-stakes battlefield. the massive, jagged limestone bluffs that had once made her feel safe from the rest of the world now felt like high walls locking her into a trap.

"this is it," john b whispered, his voice low and tense as he stepped out onto the beach, his flashlight beam cutting across the pale sand. "the old boundary road used to end right above these bluffs before the erosion. the well house foundation should be buried right against the stone wall."

"man, nobody comes up this far north," jj muttered, dropping a heavy burlap gear bag onto the sand with a dull thud. he looked around "it's completely isolated. perfect place to hide a fortune."

clementine couldn't move. her eyes stayed fixed on the exact patch of sand where they had fallen asleep in the pink dawn light, back when he had pulled her close and whispered baby against her forehead. the phantom warmth of his hands cupping her face felt so real it made her chest ache, but it was instantly crowded out by the memory of his raw, devastated expression on the boat when she told him they were done.

"clem? you good?" kiara asked softly, stepping up beside her and shining her light toward the base of the cliffs. "you look freezing."

"i'm fine," clementine managed to say, her voice hollow as she forced her feet to move across the sand. she kept her hands shoved deep in her pockets so no one would see them shake.

sarah walked past her, her flashlight tracking the edge of the limestone until the beam settled on a crumbling stack of old stone mortar hidden behind a cluster of overgrown sea oats. "john b, over here. i found the foundation."

clementine couldn't move. she felt her eyes sting, blinking back tears that threatened to spill over.

she stared at the exact patch of sand where they had fallen asleep in the pink dawn light, back when he had pulled her close and whispered baby against her forehead. the phantom warmth of his hands cupping her face felt so real it made her chest ache, and the memory of his shattered, devastated expression on the boat when she ended things felt like a fresh, open wound.

"clem? you good?" kiara asked softly, stepping up beside her and shining her light toward the base of the cliffs. "you look freezing."

"i'm fine," clementine managed to choke out, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve before the tears could fall, forcing her voice to stay steady as she stepped onto the beach. she kept her hands shoved deep in her pockets so no one would see them shake.

pope shone his flashlight out over the breaking waves, checking the handwritten logs in his hand. "based off our coordinates and the old shipping logs, the currents from the main channel should have pushed the merchant right into the deep shelf of this cove."

"then let's not waste any more time," jj said, already unzipping the gear bag to pull out the dive lights and ropes, his face set with a fierce, determined focus.

clementine took a slow, deep breath, forcing the cold air into her lungs to ground herself. she watched her friends move into action, their shared purpose a heavy, anchoring weight that pulled her out of her own head. she couldn't change what had happened at the tannyhill docks, and she couldn't rewrite the way her heart was aching, but she could stand by the people who had always stood by her.

wiping the last trace of dampness from her cheeks, she stepped forward into the flashlight beams, leaving the shadows of the bluffs behind as she reached down to help jj with the lines. the secrets of the past few weeks were still heavy in her chest, but as they stood together on the edge of the dark shoreline, clementine knew there was no turning back. they were a family, and whatever came out of the dark next, they would face it together.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

STUPID SONG

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 9 of WANNA BE YOURS

the afternoon heat over the marsh was thick enough to wear, but on the porch of the chateau, nobody seemed to care. pope had successfully rigged a makeshift misting fan using an old plastic tubing kit and a rusted bracket, and every time the breeze shifted, a cool cloud of water vapor drifted across the deck. jj was balancing precariously on the porch railing with a half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a fishing lure in the other, arguing loudly about the boat motor while kiara leaned her back against the weathered house siding, laughing and kicking his foot lightly to keep him from falling into the hydrillas.

clementine let out a genuine, ringing laugh, the sound bubbling up from a place in her chest that had felt locked tight for weeks. she was sitting cross-legged on a faded woven outdoor rug, helping john b untangle a massive nest of braided fishing line. for the first time in what felt like an eternity, the heavy, suffocating fog in her mind had completely cleared. john b looked over at her with a soft, relieved smile, glad to see her acting like herself again, and jj even nudged her shoulder to tell her how good it was to have her back.

she loved them so intensely it almost ached. they were her family, her safety net, and the ones who had pulled her out of every dark spot she had ever been in. the guilt of keeping a secret from them still pricked at the edges of her conscience, but sitting here in the bright glare of the sun, she realized she didn't have to choose between two completely different worlds. she could hold onto this safety and pure happiness while still keeping her promise to rafe.

when the night finally rolled around, the hum of the crickets was the only sound as clementine slipped her sneakers on by the back screen door. she moved like a shadow, waiting for the rhythmic, heavy breathing of john b from the living room couch to signal it was safe.

when she finally stepped out onto the damp grass, the cool night air felt like a secret universe waiting just for her. she didn't take the main roads, sticking instead to the marsh paths with her flashlight turned off to avoid drawing attention, letting the silver glow of a crescent moon guide her toward the old churchyard.

climbing the creaking attic stairs, her heart didn't hammer with the agonizing panic of the previous weeks; instead, it raced with pure anticipation. she pushed the door open to find rafe already there, leaning against the old wooden bench where the sharp, clean lines of his buzz cut were softened by the shadows. his eyes locked onto hers the second she entered the room, and he crossed the floor in three long strides, closing the distance until the heat radiating from him completely enveloped her.

he reached out, his long fingers gently catching the back of her neck while his thumb traced the soft skin right behind her ear. clementine leaned into his touch, her eyes closing as the sheer relief of his presence washed over her, and he pulled her into a slow, deep kiss that tasted like the humid night air and quiet certainty. there was no frantic desperation this time, just a steady, grounding reassurance before he whispered against her lips "wait," he spoke "i wanna take you somewhere."

rafe had parked his motorcycle miles back, hidden deep within a thicket of sea oats where the road dissolved into the northern reaches of the island. he held clementine’s hand tightly, his fingers intertwined with hers as he led her down a steep, rocky path toward a tiny, secluded cove completely hidden by massive, jagged limestone bluffs. the sand here was pale, almost white in the moonlight, and the water lapped against the shore in gentle, crystal-clear ripples. spread out on the sand was a thick, dark blanket with a small lantern casting a warm, amber glow next to a vintage insulated cooler and a small portable speaker playing a low melody.

clementine stopped in her tracks, her breath catching as she looked down at the blanket and the soft glow of the lantern. "rafe, what is all of this?"

rafe rubbed the back of his neck, a sudden flash of nervousness crossing his features as he looked from the setup back to her. "i, uh-i used to come here when i was a kid, you know? nobody ever comes up this far north because of the bluffs." he paused, his jaw tightening slightly before he looked right at her. "since we can’t exactly go out to a normal restaurant in figure eight without everyone talking, i wanted to bring a real date to you."

the gesture made clementine’s heart do a violent, joyful flip. she didn't care about the risk, or the island, or the divide between their worlds right then. step by step, she moved onto the thick wool blanket, a soft smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand. "it's perfect, rafe. really."

she pulled him down onto the sand with her, sitting cross-legged as the tension melted out of his shoulders. rafe reached into the vintage insulated cooler, pulling out two glass bottles of soda and a small container of fresh strawberries. "i didn't really know what kind of food you'd want for a middle-of-the-night picnic," he admitted, popping the caps off the bottles and handing one to her.

clementine laughed softly, taking the cold glass bottle from him. "strawberries are great."

they spent the next two hours talking in whispers, the rest of the world completely fading into the background. for the first time, rafe didn't mention ward, or the pressure of tannyhill, or the constant friction with the pogues on the island.

"i've been looking at this old center-console boat down at the marina," rafe said, his voice low and animated in a way she hadn't heard before as he gestured with his hands. "it's totally stripped down, hull needs a lot of fiberglass work, but the lines on it are perfect. i want to buy it and restore the whole thing myself. from scratch. no help from my dad's mechanics."

"you should do it," clementine murmured, watching the way the amber lantern light caught the sharp lines of his face. "you're really good with engines, rafe. you don't need anyone's permission to build something that's just yours."

she leaned back against his knees, looking up at the sky. "sometimes i think about just getting on a ferry and seeing how far the roads go. i want to see the mountains, like real mountains, not just sand dunes."

"we could do that," rafe whispered.

as the music played softly from the small speaker, rafe shifted closer, wrapping his long arm around her shoulders to pull her back against his chest. clementine rested her head in the crook of his neck, her fingers lightly tracing the soft, worn fabric of his dark hoodie.

"i like seeing you like this," rafe murmured into her hair, his chest rising and falling steadily against her back. "glorious and laughing. with me. not just when you're over there at the chateau."

clementine tilted her face up, her eyes meeting his dark ones under the vast canopy of stars. "i am happy, rafe. right here."

he leaned down, his lips meeting hers in a soft, lingering kiss that felt entirely different from the hurried secrecy of the church attic. here, surrounded by the quiet rhythm of the ocean, the boundaries between the cut and figure eight didn't exist at all, leaving only the steady, calming beat of his heart and the beautiful, quiet space they had carved out for themselves in the dark.

the sky was just starting to turn a pale, dusty pink when clementine shifted against rafe’s chest. they had fallen asleep right there on the thick wool blanket, the fire in the lantern long dead and the tide having pulled back to leave the sand damp and cool around them.

the pink light of dawn was just beginning to bleed across the edges of the bluffs, casting a soft, hazy glow over the secluded cove. rafe’s arm remained a warm, heavy weight anchored around her waist, his steady breathing a quiet rhythm against the side of her neck. for a fleeting moment, wrapped in the cool morning air and the gentle sound of the tide, everything felt entirely still and perfect.

then, clementine caught sight of the sky's shifting color, and her chest tightened in sudden panic as the reality of the hour hit her all at once. they'd slept through the night.

she shot up from the blanket, her sudden movement pulling her completely out of rafe's embrace. her fingers scrambled in the cool sand for her phone, and the second the screen illuminated, a cold wave of panic washed over her. the display was a chaotic wall of missed calls and urgent texts from the pogues, all sent within the last hour.

there were five missed calls from jj, three from john b, and a string of frantic messages from kiara.

kie: clem where are you?? john b found the coordinates kie: we’re loading up the pogue right now

jj: where the hell are you clem??? we were supposed to go out to look for the merchant. jj: clem?? jj: we're leaving without you

john b: clem seriously we need to leave before the charter boats get out on the water. meet us at the dock ASAP.

the royal merchant.

fuck, she forgot.

they were going out on the hms pogue this morning to trace the exact coordinates they had spent weeks hunting for, and she was supposed to be right there with them, hauling gear and keeping watch.

rafe groaned softly, the sudden shift of the blanket pulling him from his sleep as the cool morning air hit his chest. he rubbed a hand over his face, his movements heavy and uncoordinated in the early dawn light. his eyes were half-closed, completely blurred with exhaustion as he tried to blink away the sleep, his new buzz cut looking slightly messy as he squinted up at her.

"clem? what time is it?" he mumbled, his voice incredibly deep and thick with sleep. he started to push himself up on one elbow, his shoulders slumping under the weight of the early hour. "it's like the crack of dawn. what's the rush?"

she looked down at rafe, who was still blinking up at her with heavy, groggy eyes, looking completely harmless and exhausted in the dim pink light. a part of her desperately wanted to just tell him the truth, to explain why she had to get out of there.

but as she opened her mouth, sarah's harsh, urgent whisper from the side porch of the chateau echoed perfectly in her mind.

he's my brother, but he is completely unstable. you shouldn't trust him. he's just going to drag you into his chaos.

sarah was his sister. if anyone knew how rafe would react to hearing about the merchant or the gold, it was her. if rafe found out john b was closing in on the coordinates, would he tell ward? would the volatile, angry side of him come back out and ruin everything her friends had been working so hard for?

"i have to go," she whispered, her hands shaking slightly as she stuffed the phone deep into her pocket, deliberately turning her screen away so he couldn't see the flashing names of her friends.

"just tell me what's going on," rafe said, his voice dropping into a low, guarded murmur as he stood up beside her. the relaxed boy from a few hours ago was instantly gone, replaced by the cautious, sharp edge of the boy who was used to people keeping things from him. his dark eyes scanned her face, tracking the absolute panic in her eyes. "why do you have to go?"

"i just... i really have to go, rafe," she said, her voice shaking slightly as she stood up completely, brushing the cold sand off her legs with frantic, rushed movements. "i messed up. i slept right through my alarms."

rafe let out a tired sigh, slowly dragging himself up into a sitting position on the blanket. he ran a hand over his short hair, shaking his head slightly to clear the fog from his brain, though his dark eyes were already narrowing as he took in her pale, panicked face. "clem, it's literally five in the morning. what could they possibly need you for right now?"

"i didn't think we'd sleep out here all night," clementine said, her voice rushing out in a breathless blur as she stepped off the blanket and onto the firmer sand closer to the path. her hands were buried deep in her pockets, her fingers tightly gripping her phone to stop herself from checking it again. "john b and jj... they're getting the boat ready. we have a huge trip out to the marsh for some salvage gear before the charter boats crowd up the creeks. if i'm not at the dock in twenty minutes, they're going to come looking for me."

rafe swung his legs around, sitting on the edge of the dark wool blanket as he watched her. the grogginess was still heavy in his blinking eyes, but a sharp, intuitive edge was fast replacing the sleep. he looked down at his own bare feet in the sand, then back up at her, his brows pulling together in a hard line. "so that's it? you just jump up and sprint back to them the second they pull the leash?"

"it's not a leash, rafe," she pleaded softly, her eyes darting toward the bluffs. the urgency was eating her alive, but the fear of making him angry--or worse, making him suspicious of what the pogues were actually hunting for--kept her rooted to the spot for just a second longer. "they're my friends. they know i'm not asleep in my room at the chateau. if they find out i'm with you..."

"they'll be pissed, i know" rafe finished for her, his voice losing its morning warmth and turning flat, the gravelly edge cutting through the quiet sound of the waves. he stood up slowly, stretching his arms, his tall frame blocking out a portion of the pink dawn light. "god forbid any of them find out you actually want to be around me," rafe muttered, his voice dropping into a bitter murmur as he looked away from her and toward the water.

"that's not what this is," clementine said quickly, stepping closer to him, her hands trembling in her pockets. the guilt was making her sick, but the mental image of the hms pogue pulling away from the dock without her was keeping her in a state of pure panic. "i just need to get back before they start asking questions that i can't answer. please, rafe. just help me get back to the cut."

rafe stared at her for a long beat, his dark eyes searching her face, trying to pierce through the sudden wall she had built between them since waking up. the vulnerability from the night before seemed to evaporate into the chilly morning air, replaced by the familiar, tense divide that always kept them on opposite sides of the island.

finally, he let out a harsh breath through his nose and reached down to grab his keys from the corner of the wool blanket. "fine. let's go."

before he turned toward the path, the hard line of his jaw softened, the residual sleepiness catching up to him as he looked down at her frantic expression. he stepped into her space, wrapping his long arm around her waist to pull her flush against his chest one last time. he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers in a quick, gentle peck that lingered just long enough to anchor her amidst the panic.

"hey, breathe, baby" he murmured against her forehead, his voice deep and rough from the early morning air. "come on, i'll get you back there fast."

the unexpected word lingered in the cool air between them, sending a sudden, sharp jolt straight through her chest. it was the first time he had ever used a pet name like that, and the casual, intimate weight of it left her completely breathless, her mind momentarily short-circuiting despite the frantic ticking of the clock.

her heart did a frantic, completely different kind of flip against her ribs, the sheer shock of his softness melting away the last remnants of her panic for one beautiful, suspended second, and she suddenly felt weak in the knees.

she nodded against his chest, her fingers tightening into the fabric of his dark hoodie as she tried to find her voice. "okay," she whispered, her cheeks flushing a bright, sudden crimson in the pale dawn light. "let's go."

rafe gave her waist one last reassuring squeeze before releasing her, heading up the steep, rocky path toward where the motorcycle was hidden deep in the sea oats. clementine followed close behind, her mind completely reeling from the quiet gravity of his words.

he kicked the engine to life, the loud, mechanical roar breaking the early morning silence of the bluffs. he handed her the spare helmet, his dark eyes holding hers for a lingering beat to make sure she was okay before she climbed onto the back. she slid her arms tightly around his waist, burying her face into his shoulder as he pulled out onto the empty, winding roads of the island. the wind was freezing against her skin, but the memory of his voice kept her completely warm.

he navigated the turns with an easy familiarity, driving fast until the sprawling trees and dirt paths of the cut began to blur into view. instead of dropping her off right in the open where anyone could see, rafe intentionally slowed the bike down a couple of blocks away from the hardware store intersection, pulling into the deep shadow of an overgrown oak tree well out of sight of the main docks.

the second the bike idled, clementine slid off the back, quickly unbuckling the helmet and handing it over to him. her pulse was hammering in her ears, her eyes already darting down the gravel road toward the water where she could hear the distant, faint hum of the hms pogue's motor.

rafe reached out, his long fingers catching her wrist gently to stop her from sprinting off just yet. "be careful out there today, alright?" he said, his expression completely serious as he looked up at her in the morning light.

"i will," she whispered, her throat tightening with a heavy, complicated wave of guilt as she thought about the secret coordinates in her pocket. she gave his hand a quick, lingering squeeze before letting go. "thank you, rafe."

she turned and broke into a full sprint, her sneakers kicking up dust as she flew down the path toward the chateau's dock, her mind racing to construct a believable story for her friends while the phantom warmth of his lips and the echo of his voice still burned in her mind.

as clementine rounded the final bend of the dirt path leading to the chateau, the sound of the hms pogue’s idling engine grew louder, cutting through the quiet morning. she was out of breath, her lungs burning as she skidded onto the wooden planks of the dock.

"there she is!" jj shouted, slamming the plastic cover of the outboard motor shut. he was covered in light grease, his hair a wild mess from the early morning wind. "where the hell were you, clem? we were literally about to drop the lines and leave your ass behind."

kiara swung around from the bow of the boat, a massive canvas dry bag gripped in her hands. her eyes scanned clementine from head to toe, taking in the slightly disheveled clothes and the pale, breathless look on her face. "clem, we’ve been calling you for an hour. your phone went straight to voicemail at first. john b was losing his mind."

john b emerged from the chateau's screened porch, carrying a heavy rusted anchor and a spool of rope. he dropped them onto the deck with a loud, metallic clatter and wiped his brow, looking at her with a mix of frustration and profound relief. "seriously, clem. the charter boats are already starting to clear the marina. if we don't get the boat past the marsh before the sun gets any higher, everyone is going to see us out at the coordinates. where were you?"

clementine swallowed the massive lump of guilt in her throat, her hands still jammed deep into her pockets as she stepped onto the boat. the phantom heat of rafe's touch still felt incredibly fresh against her skin, and the echo of his voice was still ringing in her ears, making the loud, chaotic energy of the dock feel completely jarring.

"i'm sorry, guys," she lied, forcing her voice to sound steady as she reached for a stray dock line to help tie down the gear. "i just--i couldn't sleep last night, so i took a walk down beach to clear my head. i must have lost track of time because i fell asleep and my phone battery was completely dead until i found a portable charger in my bag. i ran the whole way back."

"yeah, you look like shit," jj said, though his tone was fond as he reached out and plucked a stray piece of sea oats right out of her tangled hair. he tossed it into the water with a lopsided grin. "sleeping on the beach without a blanket? you're turning into a regular pogue, clem. next time wake me up and we can at least bring some snacks."

"thanks, jj. love the compliments," clementine muttered, forcing a small, breathless laugh as she felt a massive wave of relief wash over her. she quickly climbed into the boat, her heart still hammering against her ribs from the sprint and the sheer weight of the lie.

kiara didn't look completely convinced, her eyes lingering on the neat, pressed fabric of clementine's collar before she shook her head and handed over a life jacket. "just glad you're safe. we were seriously about to start a search party. come on, john b is itching to drop the throttle."

john b nodded from the captain's chair, his hand already firmly on the gear shift. "alright, lines are clear! let's go get this gold, guys."

the hms pogue roared to life, the bow lifting as the old boat cut cleanly through the smooth, glass-like water of the marsh. the cool morning wind whipped through clementine's hair, stinging her cheeks and forcing her to focus on the blue horizon ahead. she leaned against the boat, watching the shoreline of the cut shrink in the distance.

just a few miles away, rafe was probably pulling into the tannyhill driveway, completely oblivious to what she was doing right now. she was sitting right next to the people who would die for her, heading out to find the royal merchant, but as the salt spray hit her face, her mind stayed stubbornly trapped back on that secluded beach, the lingering echo of his voice still making her heart feel completely unsettled.

the wind cut sharp across the bow, but clementine barely felt the chill. every time she closed her eyes against the salt spray, the quiet gravity of rafe's deep voice and the way he kissed her rushed right back into her mind, making a sudden, intense heat bloom in her cheeks.

a fierce blush crept up her neck, and she had to turn her face completely away from kiara to stare out at the open water, terrified that the sheer intensity of her thoughts was written all over her face.

breathe, baby.

the word repeated on a continuous loop in her head, heavy and terrifyingly real.

it wasn't just a secret arrangement in a dusty attic anymore; it felt like something dangerously solid. she pressed her palm against her face, pretending to wipe away the ocean spray just to hide the permanent smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"hey, clem, pass me that wrench under the console!" jj yelled over the roar of the engine, his voice completely shattering her daydream.

clementine jumped slightly, her heart doing a frantic bounce as she snapped back to the reality of the hms pogue. she scrambled down, digging around the floorboards to find the tool, desperately hoping the flush on her face just looked like a sunburn from the morning light. she handed the heavy metal wrench to jj, forcing her voice to stay flat. "here."

"you good?" pope asked, looking up from his map with a slight squint as the boat bounced over a rough wake. "your face is bright red, clem."

"just the wind," clementine giggled to herself, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up over her ears to block out his view.

the boat slammed hard against a heavy rolling wake, sending a spray of salt water over the bow that cut straight through clementine's thoughts. she blinked, looking down at her hands tightly gripping the weathered fiberglass edge of the seat, her knuckles white.

kiara moved over to clementine’s side, dropping a heavy coil of nylon rope between them with a dull thud. "hey," she said softly, her voice barely carrying over the motor as she nudged clementine's knee with her own. "you're completely quiet today. you sure you're okay after sleeping out on the beach?"

"yeah," clementine said, forcing her eyes away from the distant horizon and looking at her friend. "just tired. my head is spinning a little bit."

"we're almost there," kiara promised, misinterpreting the tension in clementine's posture as nerves about the royal merchant. she reached out and squeezed clementine's arm, her grip tight and loyal. "whatever happens down there, we do it together. pogue style."

the fierce, protective love clementine felt for kiara and the boys at that exact moment was undeniable, but as she looked down at kiara's hand on her arm, a sudden, terrifying realization hit her like a physical blow. the warmth in her chest wasn't just split between her loyalty to the cut and her secret hours in the dark with rafe. it had completely shattered into something else.

she didn't just want rafe because it was thrilling, or because the secrecy made the world feel small, or because he was the only one who looked at her without expectations.

she was in love with him.

the truth settled deep into her stomach, heavy and inescapable.

she could still feel the exact phantom sensation of his long fingers wrapping gently around her waist to pull her flush against his chest in the dawn light. it was the way his rough morning voice had softened into that single, quiet word against her skin.

she remembered the intense, steady heat of his hands as they slid up to cup the sides of her face, his thumbs tracing the line of her jawline with a quiet, fierce desperation that felt like he was trying to anchor her to him forever. it was the way his lips had brushed against her skin, soft and lingering, completely stripping away the chaotic armor he wore for the rest of the world.

it was the terrifying reality that despite sarah's warnings, despite the massive divide between figure eight and the cut, and despite the fact that she was currently sitting on a boat hunting for a legendary treasure that could change her friends' lives forever, her heart was still entirely anchored back on that pale sand with him.

she looked at john b's focused profile, then back at jj laughing at something pope said, a wave of pure dizziness washing over her. she was completely surrounded by the people who kept her safe, heading straight toward the biggest secret on the island, while carrying a truth that could destroy everything if it ever came to light.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

BOYFRIEND

trope: brother's best friend

masterlist

plot: you just broke up with your toxic boyfriend, hunter, and he won't stop coming to your apartment. so, you decide to stay at your brother, garret, house for the weekend. . . . with his roommate dean.

the rain was hitting the windshield so hard, you could barely see the briar university campus signs as you sped away from my apartment.

your phone was vibrating out of control in the cup holder--name after name, text after text, all from the guy you had finally, thankfully, kicked out of your life an hour ago. he wouldn't stop calling, and he knew exactly where you lived. you couldn't stay there tonight.

panicked, you dialed the one person you knew would have your back no matter what.

"hey, what's up?" garrett’s voice came through the speakers, instantly grounding you.

"garrett," you choked out, trying to keep your voice steady. "i just broke up with hunter. he won't stop calling and he's literally outside my door. can i please stay at your place for a couple of days?"

there was a sharp pause, and you could hear the sudden tension in garrett's posture even through the phone. "yeah. absolutely. get over here right now. i’m away for a game with logan and tucker until sunday, but dean's home. i'll text him and let him know you're coming so he doesn't freak out. you're safe there, okay?"

"okay. see you sunday."

ten minutes later, you were sprinting from your car to the porch of the massive hockey house, clutching a duffel bag of hastily packed clothes. you stood on the porch, shivering as the rain poured down around you, clutching your duffel bag tightly against your chest. when nobody answered your first knock, you banged on the heavy wooden door again, harder this time.

finally, the lock clicked, and the door swung open.

dean di laurentis stood there, looking completely caught off guard. he was wearing sweatpants and a rumpled t-shirt, his hair slightly messy. but before you could even say hello, you noticed a girl standing just a few feet behind him in the hallway, putting her coat on and looking equally confused.

dean looked at you, then down at your packed bag, and blinked. "uh, hey? what are you doing here?" dean’s always thought you were beautiful, but he purposely kept his distance out of respect for garrett. plus, everyone on campus knows dean di laurentis strictly avoids relationship drama and commitment.

"garrett didn't text you?" you asked, your voice shaking slightly from the cold and the adrenaline.

dean pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping the screen. his eyes widened slightly. "oh. shit. my phone was on silent. i didn't see it."

the girl behind him cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "i should probably head out anyway," she said, looking between the two of you. "i'll see you around, dean."

"yeah, sorry about that. night," dean muttered, stepping aside to let her walk out into the rain before shutting the door firmly behind her.

he turned back to you, the casual, easygoing smirk he usually wore completely gone. he took in your dripping wet clothes, your pale face, and the way your hands were trembling on the handle of your bag. the silence in the house suddenly felt very loud.

"hey," he said, his voice dropping into a much softer, more grounded tone than you were used to hearing from him. "garrett's text says you need a place to stay for a few days. what happened?"

you looked down at your wet sneakers, the weight of the entire night suddenly crashing over you. you gripped the strap of your duffel bag tighter, your knuckles turning white.

"it's... nothing," you muttered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the rain still drumming against the door outside. "i just needed a place to crash. garrett said it was okay."

dean didn't move. he just watched you, his eyes scanning your face, clearly not buying the deflection for a second. he was used to being the guy everyone wanted to talk to, but right now, he looked genuinely concerned.

"hey," he said quietly, stepping a little closer but keeping enough distance so you didn't feel crowded. "you're shivering, you're soaking wet, and you look like you just saw a ghost. you don't have to give me the whole story if you don't want to, but you're not standing out here in the hallway all night."

he reached out, his hand hovering for a second before he gently took the heavy duffel bag from your hand. "go upstairs and get out of those wet clothes. garrett’s room is clean. i’ll make some tea or something."

you swallowed hard, nodding gratefully because your jaw was literally chattering from the cold. "thanks, dean," you whispered, avoiding his eyes as you started up the stairs.

by the time you changed into a pair of dry sweatshorts and one of garrett's oversized briar hockey hoodie, the shaking had mostly stopped, but the anxiety was still hovering right under your skin. you walked back down to the living room, finding dean sitting on the couch. two mugs were steaming on the coffee table.

he looked up when you walked in, shifting over to give you space. "better?"

"yeah," you said, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch and pulling your knees up to your chest. you stared at the steam rising from your mug, the silence stretching between you.

dean let the quiet linger for a minute, giving you time to settle. "garrett's text was pretty vague," he finally said, his tone casual but careful. "just said you had some stuff going on at your place and needed to stay here until sunday."

he paused, looking at the way you were practically trying to disappear into garrett's hockey hoodie, before leaning back against the cushions. "how's that little boyfriend of yours anyway? hunter, right?"

hearing his name felt like a physical blow. you bit the inside of your cheek, your gaze dropping instantly back down to the steaming mug between your hands. you didn't say anything, but the sudden stiffness in your shoulders gave everything away.

dean’s eyes narrowed slightly, the trace of casual amusement completely dropping from his expression. he was smarter than people gave him credit for, and it took him about two seconds to put the pieces together--your packed bag, the frantic arrival, and the mention of your boyfriend.

"we broke up," you whispered, finally looking up to meet his eyes. "and he wouldn't leave my apartment. he was outside my door, so i'm here."

dean's jaw tightened, a hard, protective look passing over his features before he forced himself to relax so he wouldn't scare you. "he's not coming near this place," he said, his voice dropping into a firm, steady register. "you're safe here. i mean it."

you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat, but your mind suddenly flashed back to the hallway just ten minutes ago. the image of the girl putting on her coat, looking pretty and completely at ease in dean's space, flared up in your chest. an uncomfortable, sharp twist hit your stomach, making you feel suddenly self-conscious in garrett's giant, oversized hockey hoodie.

"i'm sorry again for interrupting," you muttered, staring down at your thumbs. "with... whoever that was. you didn't have to kick her out because of me."

"who, marissa?" dean let out a short, dry laugh, shaking his head. "trust me, you didn't interrupt anything important. she was already leaving."

"right," you said, a little too quickly. "i just know you usually have a lot of...visitors. i don't want to get in the way of your weekend plans."

dean paused, studying your face. a slow, faint smirk began to creep back onto his lips, though his eyes remained soft. "are you worried about my social life, or are you just jealous?"

"jealous? no way," you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up. you'd always thought dean was impossibly attractive. everyone on campus did, it was a known fact but you'd always kept your distance because he was garrett's friend and a notorious player. now, sitting this close to him on the couch, the sudden urge to defend your territory from random campus girls felt weirdly intense, even if you didn't quite understand why you cared so much.

"well.." dean grinned, his eyes locked on you. "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

you shifted slightly on the couch, your face flushing even deeper at his words. you rolled your eyes, pulling garrett's oversized hoodie tighter around yourself to hide the flutter in your chest.

"is that your professional advice, di laurentis?" you asked, trying to match his playful tone even though your heart was beating a little too fast. "because it sounds like a line you've used about a hundred times."

dean laughed, a rich, genuine sound that made the remaining tension in your shoulders melt away. he leaned back against the cushions, his arm resting along the top of the sofa behind you, not quite touching you but close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him.

"maybe a little cliché," he admitted, his grin softening into something more genuine. "but seriously, you look like you're carrying the weight of the world right now. you don't have to think about him, or campus, or anything else tonight. you're off the grid here."

you took a slow sip of the tea, letting the warmth settle in your chest. looking at him now without the usual crowd of hockey players or random girls surrounding him, he seemed different. less like the untouchable campus legend and more like someone who was genuinely looking out for you.

"okay," you said quietly, meeting his gaze. "no talking about exes. what are we doing instead?"

"well, i have an idea... but they might get me in trouble with your brother."

dean tilted his head, a slow, playful grin spreading across his face that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.

"what kind of trouble?" you asked, raising an eyebrow and holding your mug with both hands.

he moved closer to you, his face now inches from yours. "do you want to find out?" his eyes flicking down to your lips.

you held his gaze, your heart hammering against your ribs as the space between you completely vanished. the playful banter died out, replaced by a sudden, heavy silence that made the breath hitch in your throat.

"yeah," you whispered, the word barely leaving your lips before dean leaned in and closed the distance.

the kiss was instant heat, a sudden release of all the built-up tension from the entire night. it wasn't gentle or tentative; it was hot and messy, his mouth moving against yours with an intensity that took your breath away. dean’s hand slid up your waist, tightening his grasp on your hip and pulling you into his lap.

you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your fingers gripping the soft fabric of his shirt as the rest of the world completely faded into the background. the rain continued to beat heavily against the living room windows, but the inside of the house felt entirely warm, safe, and removed from everything else.

when he finally pulled back a fraction to catch his breath, his forehead rested against yours. his hands remained securely on your hips, his thumbs tracing slow, calming circles against the fabric of the oversized hockey hoodie.

"i've been wanting to do that for a really long time," dean murmured, his voice lower and rougher than usual, his eyes locking onto yours with total sincerity.

you let out a soft breath, a small smile finally breaking through. "yeah? even with garrett's voice probably screaming in the back of your head right now?"

dean let out a quiet, breathless laugh, his grip tightening just a little as he pulled you a bit closer against him. "honestly? worth it. let him lock me out. i'm not going anywhere."

[rafeobx]

12 TO 12, I LOOK FOR YOU

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 8 of WANNA BE YOURS

warnings: BUZZ CUT RAFE (my fav), lots of kissing

day one: sunday, 11:45 pm

the dust in the church attic didn’t move unless she was there to kick it up. clementine sat on the old wooden crate for two hours that night, her eyes locked on the spot where the moonlight cut across the floorboards.

every time a stray branch scraped against the stained glass window, her chest tightened with a sudden, desperate hope that it was the sound of rafe's heavy boots on the stairs. but the staircase remained completely silent, and the heavy space beside her stayed empty.

she kept thinking about the rigid way he had pulled his arm away from her at the fuel shack, the dark lenses of his sunglasses forming an unreadable wall she couldn't break through. the just friends label she had fought so hard to keep felt like a trap she had built for herself, and the crushing quiet of the empty attic was the only answer she was getting.

day four: wednesday, 4:15 pm

she saw him from a distance near the edge of the cut, pulling out of the pharmacy parking lot. he was behind the wheel of his truck, and topper was in the passenger seat laughing loudly about something.

rafe looked straight through the windshield, his jaw set in a hard, frozen line as he completely ignored clementine standing by the roadside bike rack.

the complete lack of acknowledgment felt like a physical blow, sparking a sharp, suffocating wave of jealousy that stayed with her all through her evening shift.

she went straight to the churchyard the second she was off the clock, climbing the attic stairs in the dark. he wasn't there. she left a small, smooth piece of blue sea glass on the old bench right next to the spool of copper wire he had used for her pendant, a silent confession that she was still waiting for him to clear the dust.

day ten: thursday, 12:10 am

the piece of blue sea glass was exactly where she had left it, untouched and gathering dust. rafe hadn't been back to the churchyard at all. the agonizing routine of waiting was starting to make her feel completely unraveled, the frustration of the hidden boundary lines growing heavier with every passing hour.

every phantom touch they had ever shared, the brush of his shoulder in the crowded shadows, the intense heat of his thumb wiping the tear from her cheekbone, played on a continuous loop in her mind. she had spent weeks being terrified of what would happen if jj or sarah found out about them, but standing alone in the damp darkness of the attic, a much worse fear settled deep in her stomach. she was absolutely terrified that rafe was actually listening to her warnings, and that he was finally letting her go for good.

day twelve: saturday, 11:30 pm

the friction of pretending grew completely unbearable during the bonfire at the boneyard. the pogues were gathered around the roaring flames, and jj threw a careless arm over clementine's shoulder to drag her into some loud conversation about a boat motor.

her eyes kept drifting toward the tree line, half-hoping and half-fearing she would see a familiar dark hoodie lurking in the shadows, but there was nothing but the crackle of the wood.

the moment the fire began to die down, she slipped away from the group unnoticed and ran all the way to the old churchyard, her lungs burning by the time she hit the attic stairs. she knew he wasn't gonna be there. but she hoped anyways. when she finally got up to the attic, the room was empty.

the walk back to the chateau felt endless, the humid night air pressing heavily against clementine’s skin as she dragged her feet up the porch steps. inside, the screen door banged shut behind her, cutting through the low murmur of conversation in the living room.

john b and jj were crashed out on the couch, surrounded by empty soda cans, while pope was quietly flipping through a manual at the kitchen table. clementine kept her head down, her eyes burning with unshed tears as she tried to slip down the hallway unnoticed, her heart still aching from the suffocating emptiness of the church attic.

but sarah noticed

"clem, wait up," sarah’s voice called out softly from the kitchen doorway.

clementine paused, her shoulders dropping as she turned around, forcing a tired smile that didn't even reach her eyes. "hey, sarah. i was just heading to bed."

sarah didn't say anything at first. she just looked at her friend, taking in the pale look on clementine's face, the slight tremor in her hands, and the sheer exhaustion radiating from her. without a word, sarah reached out, grabbed clementine’s wrist, and gently pulled her away from the boys, leading her out onto the quiet, screened-in side porch where the only sound was the distant chirping of crickets.

"you've been going to the old churchyard, haven't you?" sarah asked, her voice dropping into a serious, tense whisper the second the door clicked shut behind them.

clementine froze, the air catching sharply in her throat as she stared at sarah in pure panic. "what? how do you-"

"don't lie to me, clem," sarah interrupted, her expression shifting into a mix of deep worry and protectiveness. "rafe came home a few nights ago completely unraveled. he told me everything. about the attic, the sea glass pendant, all of it. i know about you and him."

the reality of the words hit clementine like a physical blow, her jaw tightening as she looked away, unable to meet her friend's eyes. the secret she had been carrying like a heavy weight was suddenly out in the open, and the shame of it made her chest feel painfully tight.

sarah stepped closer, placing a cautious hand on clementine’s shoulder, her tone dropping even lower. "clem, listen to me. i know how rafe gets. i know he can make you feel like he's the only one who understands you, but you shouldn't trust him. he's my brother, but he is completely unstable. he's just going to drag you into his chaos, and i don't want to see you get hurt."

clementine pulled her shoulder away from sarah's touch, the heavy weight of the past week crashing down on her all at once. she stared out at the dark, marshy yard of the chateau, her arms crossing tightly over her chest as she swallowed the bitter lump in her throat.

"it's fine, sarah," clementine whispered, her voice flat and completely exhausted. "you don't have to worry about it. whatever this thing that me and rafe had-it's over"

sarah searched her face, her brows furrowing deeply. "clem..."

"i'm serious," clementine cut her off, finally looking back at her with shiny, tired eyes. "he made it perfectly clear at the country club last week. we're done talking. he's staying on his side of the island, and i'm staying here. there is no chaos left to get dragged into."

before sarah could say anything else, clementine turned around and walked quickly toward her bedroom.

the bedroom door clicked shut, the sound final and heavy in the small space. clementine pressed her back against the wood, letting the fake composure she had maintained in front of sarah completely slip away. the room was dark, illuminated only by the faint silver moonlight cutting through the screen window, casting long, familiar shadows across the floorboards.

she slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor, pulling her knees tightly against her chest. everything sarah had said was supposed to make sense. it was exactly what clementine had been telling herself for weeks. rafe was dangerous, he was unpredictable, and the divide between figure eight and the cut was a line no one crossed without getting burned.

but knowing the rules didn't stop the ache in her chest.

her hand moved instinctively to her neck, her fingers searching for the smooth shape of the copper-wrapped sea glass pendant that wasn't there anymore. the silence of the chateau felt completely different from the silence of the church attic; here, it felt suffocating, filled with the pressure of a part she was supposed to play, while her mind was still trapped in the shadows of the fuel shack, remembering the desperate, fracturing look in rafe's eyes right before he walked away.

---

day one: sunday, 10:15 pm

rafe sat on the edge of his bed at tannyhill, staring blankly at the ceiling while the silence of his room pressed heavily against his ears. his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his knuckles still white from how hard he had gripped the steering wheel on the drive home from the club.

he knew clementine was probably waiting at the old churchyard right now, sitting on that wooden crate in the dark and checking the door every time the wind blew. he was purposely avoiding her, forcing himself to stay anchored right where he was because the pain of her rejection at the fuel shack was still too fresh.

he didn't want to see her, didn't want to risk breaking down again, so he let the hours tick away, keeping himself locked on his side of the island while she sat alone in the dust.

day four: wednesday, 11:45 pm

rafe only allowed himself to go to the churchyard long after he knew she would be gone, specifically choosing a time when he wouldn't run into her.

he climbed the creaking wooden stairs of the attic, his breathing shallow in the heavy, humid air. switching on his pocket flashlight, the beam cut through the dark and immediately caught on something shiny sitting on the edge of the old workbench.

he stepped closer, his heart dropping into his stomach as he saw the small, smooth piece of blue sea glass she had left behind, resting right next to his spool of copper wire. it was proof that she had been there waiting for him, trying to bridge the gap he was actively widening. rafe reached his hand out, his fingers hovering just millimeters away from the cool glass, but he froze. he didn't touch it. he couldn't bring himself to disturb it, leaving the token exactly where she placed it.

day ten: thursday, 12:10 am

rafe cut the engine of his motorcycle a block away from the churchyard, letting the bike coast to a silent halt under the heavy shadow of an oak tree. he had spent hours driving aimlessly, swearing to himself that he wasn't going to go near the attic, but the pull had been too strong to fight. he pulled off his helmet and walked quietly toward the edge of the property, keeping to the tree line. but just as he reached the gravel path, his chest tightened. a familiar silhouette was moving through the dim light near the side entrance.

clementine was just walking into the church yard, her head down and her shoulders hunched against the night air. rafe froze in the shadows, his pulse hammering against his ribs as he watched her disappear inside. every instinct screamed at him to follow her up those stairs, to close the distance and break the silence, but the memory of her rejection at the fuel shack kept his boots glued to the dirt. he couldn't face the sad, conflicted look she would give him.

instead of leaving, he stayed. for two agonizing hours, rafe leaned against the rough bark of the oak tree, his eyes locked on the faint, dusty glow of the attic window. the night air grew colder, but he didn't move, torturing himself with the proximity of her just a hundred yards away. it wasn't until the clock crept past three in the morning that the side door finally creaked open again.

clementine stepped out into the damp night, her posture slumped with a heavy, hollow disappointment as she walked back down the gravel path alone. rafe shrank deeper into the darkness, holding his breath until the sound of her footsteps faded completely into the night, leaving him alone with the quiet wreckage of what they used to be.

day twelve: saturday, 12:00 am

he stood by the tannyhill docks in his dark hoodie, his eyes locked on the distant, fading orange glow of the bonfire across the water at the boneyard. he had spent the entire night ensuring their paths wouldn't cross, steering clear of the cut and staying far away from the churchyard until the night was almost over. he knew clementine had been over at the beach, surrounded by her friends, living the life she was so terrified of losing. a dangerous, volatile jealousy flared up in his chest, but it only made his resolve harden. he wasn't going to go to the attic and let her look at him with those sad, conflicted eyes again. he didn't know that she had run up those attic stairs just a half hour prior, her lungs burning, only to find the room empty because he had chosen to stay away.

---

the following weeks, the sun beat down heavily on the chateau's dock, casting a bright, golden glare over the marsh. clementine sat on the edge of the wooden planks with her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on her arms as she watched the water ripple around the hull of the hms pogue. she felt low, a heavy, unshakeable quiet settling over her that she couldn't quite shake off, though she tried her best to hide it.

behind her, the porch was alive with the familiar, messy noise of the pogues. jj was arguing loudly with john b about a fouled spark plug, waving a greasy wrench in the air, while pope sat on an upturned cooler, calmly correcting jj's terrible math with a small smirk. Kie was balanced on the porch railing, tossing cheese puffs at jj’s head whenever he got too dramatic.

listening to them, a profound wave of gratitude washed over clementine. she loved them so fiercely it made her throat tight. these were the people who had pulled her out of every dark spot she’d ever been in, the ones who shared their food, their shelter, and their fiercely loyal hearts without ever asking for anything in return. they were her safety net, her home, and looking at them now, she knew she would do absolutely anything to protect them.

the memory of rafe slipped back into her mind, heavy and persistent. getting to know him in the attic hadn't been what she expected at all. beneath the volatile kook armor and the defensive arrogance his friends encouraged, she had seen the fractured, desperate boy who just wanted someone to actually look at him without disappointment. she genuinely cared about him, more than she ever thought she could care about a kook.

she leaned her head back against the wooden post of the dock, closing her eyes as the warmth of the sun hit her face. it was impossible to block out the memory of how he used to touch her when they were tucked away in the shadows of the attic.

she missed the quiet, steady pressure of his hand resting against the small of her back, the way his fingers would gently tangle in her hair to hold her gaze, and the intense heat of his thumb tracing the line of her jawline whenever the world outside became too loud.

those small, private moments had felt so grounded, completely stripped of the chaos that usually followed him everywhere else.

"hey, clem, you want a soda?" jj's voice suddenly boomed from the porch, breaking the silence and pulling her instantly out of her thoughts.

clementine blinked her eyes open, her hand instinctively dropping to her side as she looked back over her shoulder. jj was leaning over the railing, holding up a cold can with a goofy, lopsided grin, while kie waved her over to join them on the porch.

"yeah, thanks jj," she called back, a smile forming on her face. she walked back toward the porch, the familiar laughter of her friends wrapping around her like a protective shield. but even as she dropped into the empty seat next to pope and accepted the cold soda from jj, the phantom warmth of rafe’s touch lingered on her skin, a quiet reminder of the dangerous, beautiful mess she was trying so hard to leave behind.

she needed to see him, even if it meant breaking every rule she had set for herself. slipping away from the chateau while the others were distracted by dinner, she took the old dirt paths, avoiding the main roads until the manicured gates of tannyhill rose up through the dusk. the estate looked massive and imposing, the grand house glowing with bright, golden lights that made her feel entirely out of place in her faded cut clothes.

her heart hammered wildly against her ribs as she walked up the long gravel driveway, her sneakers making a soft crunching sound that felt incredibly loud in the quiet night air. she didn't go to the front door; instead, she skirted around the side of the house, heading toward the back lawn where she knew his bedroom windows overlooked the grounds.

standing in the shadow of a massive oak tree, clementine looked up at the glass panes. a faint light was burning inside his room, casting a familiar silhouette against the curtains. she swallowed the massive lump in her throat, her hands trembling in her pockets as she took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to bridge the gap between them.

clementine bent down, her fingers searching through the dark grass until they closed around a few small, smooth pebbles. she stood up, took a shaky breath, and tossed the first pebble against the glass.

click.

the sound was quiet, barely cutting through the hum of the outdoor cicadas. she waited, her eyes locked on the window, but the silhouette behind the curtain didn't move. her stomach twisted with a sudden wave of nerves, the fear of being caught by ward or sarah pulsing through her veins.

she threw another one, slightly harder this time.

clack.

this time, the shadow inside the room froze. clementine held her breath, her fingers tightly gripping the remaining rocks in her palm as she watched the curtain pull back.

the glass slid upward with a dull scrape, the curtain pulled back completely, and rafe leaned out into the humid night air, his hands resting on the window frame. clementine’s breath caught instantly in her throat.

clementine’s breath hitched in her throat, a sudden, unexpected wave of heat rushing to her cheeks.

the curtain pulled back completely, and rafe leaned out into the humid night air, his hands resting on the window frame. clementine’s breath caught instantly in her throat.

he had shaved his head into a clean, sharp buzz cut.

the new look completely altered his face, stripping away any boyishness that had been left and making the sharp, angular lines of his jaw and cheekbones look incredibly pronounced.

without the familiar strands of hair falling into his face, he looked intensely striking, the raw, dangerous edge he always carried suddenly magnified tenfold in the pale moonlight.

rafe stared down at her, his expression frozen in a mix of utter disbelief and a sudden, guarded tension. his dark eyes scanned her face, tracking the way her gaze traveled over his new haircut before his jaw tightened, the muscle twitching in his cheek as he broke the silence.

"what are you doing here, clem?" he called down, his voice a low, gravelly whisper that barely carried across the lawn.

clementine took a small step out from the shadow of the oak tree, her hands still shoved deep into her pockets as she looked up at him. the sight of him--sharp, intense, and completely different with the buzz cut--made her heart do a violent flip against her ribs.

"i needed to see you, rafe," she whispered back, her voice tight but clear enough to cut through the quiet hum of the night air. "please. just come down."

rafe looked down at her for another long moment, his dark eyes searching her face in the moonlight before he finally exhaled, the tension in his shoulders dropping just a fraction.

"come inside," he muttered, turning on his heel.

clementine followed him quietly across the grass, her heart racing as they slipped through the side door and moved down the silent, carpeted hallways of tannyhill. the house felt massive and empty, the heavy silence making every floorboard creak feel like an alarm.

he led her up the back staircase and straight into his bedroom, closing the heavy wooden door behind them with a soft, final click. the room was dimly lit by a single bedside lamp, casting long shadows across the neat, upscale space. rafe walked over to the center of the room and turned around, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood by the edge of his bed, his sharp new buzz cut catching the light as he waited for her to speak.

clementine stood near the door, her fingers digging into the fabric of her pockets. the silence in the room was suffocating.

"why are you here, clem?" he asked, his voice low and sharp, cutting through the quiet.

"you've been avoiding me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked up at him, the new edge of his buzz cut making him look like a stranger. "you wouldn't even look at me at the club. you didn't show up at the attic."

rafe let out a harsh, dry laugh, shaking his head as he stepped closer. "avoiding you? you're the one who drew the line, clem. you told me we were done. you told me we couldn't do this anymore because of your friends."

"because it's complicated, rafe! you know how dangerous this is for both of us," she shot back, her chest heaving as the frustration flared up. "but you completely shut down. you wouldn't even give me a second."

"what did you want me to do?" he demanded, his jaw tight as he stared down at her, his dark eyes flashing with a mix of anger and hurt. "you expect me to just sit there and act like nothing happened? to watch you walk back to the cut like i don't even exist to you? i can't do the casual friend thing with you, clem. i told you that."

"so you just freeze me out completely?" she stepped toward him, her hands coming out of her pockets, trembling slightly. "i went back there. i waited for you! i left the pendant because i thought you were done with me."

"i saw it," he whispered, the anger suddenly dropping into something raw and heavy. "i went there after you left. i saw the glass. but you're the one who walked away first. don't act like i'm the one who ruined this."

"i didn't mean to ruin anything," clementine said, her voice cracking as she took another step closer, the distance between them shrinking until she could feel the heat radiating off him.

"it doesn't look like it," rafe spat out, though his breath was ragged now, his chest rising and falling heavily. "you have your whole life over there. you have everyone. i have nothing, clem. and you just expect me to let you go without a fight?"

"i'm standing right here in your room, rafe!" she shouted softly, her hands reaching out to grip the front of his shirt, her fingers bunching into the fabric. "how can you say i'm letting you go?"

rafe's eyes dropped to her hands on his chest, his jaw clenching so hard the muscle violently twitched. the anger in the room was thick, suffocating, and charged with everything they had been burying for the last week. he grabbed her wrists, his grip tight and desperate, but instead of pushing her away, he pulled her flush against him.

he cut off the rest of her sentence, crashing his lips down onto hers in a messy, chaotic blur of built-up frustration and pure relief.

the kiss was frantic and heavy, filled with all the silent frustration of the past week. rafe’s hands moved from her wrists up to the sides of her face, his fingers sliding over her cheeks and gripping her jawline to hold her close. clementine leaned into him, her fingers tangling tightly into the fabric of his shirt as the built-up tension between them completely dissolved.

it was messy and breathless, driven by the sheer exhaustion of staying apart. rafe pulled her in closer until there was no space left between them, his breathing ragged against her mouth. every boundary they had spent days trying to build fell away in the dark room, leaving only the quiet, desperate reality of how much they hadn't wanted to let go.

rafe backed up, pushing her until her knees buckled onto the bed. he pulled back slightly, his breathing heavy in the quiet room as the initial rush of anger and relief began to settle. he let out a slow, ragged exhale, looking down at her with a expression that was still guarded, but no longer furious.

clementine sat on the edge of the mattress, her hands resting on the bedsheets behind her to steady herself. the tension in the room hadn't vanished, but the chaotic edge was gone, replaced by a heavy, quiet stillness.

"we can't keep doing this, clem," rafe muttered, running a hand over his short, buzzed hair as he stepped back a couple of inches, creating a thin boundary of space between them. "it's driving me completely crazy. one day you're telling me it's over, and the next you're throwing rocks at my window."

clementine looked up at him, her chest still rising and falling rapidly. she looked at the sharp lines of his face in the dim lamplight, the reality of being back in his room finally sinking in. "i know," she whispered, her voice low and exhausted. "i know, rafe. but staying away wasn't working either."

"i just don't know what we're doing," he admitted, his voice dropping into a quiet, tired murmur that sounded completely different from the sharp edge he'd had earlier. "it's like we're constantly running in circles."

clementine shifted, turning slightly to look at his profile in the dim light. the manicured, upscale perfection of his bedroom felt a million miles away from the chateau.

"i didn't mean to mess with your head," she said softly, her hands resting in her lap. "when i said we needed to stop, i was just-- i was scared, rafe. everything is changing so fast, and the lines are getting so blurry."

clementine reached out, her fingers gently touching his arm to pull his attention back to her.

"i want you, rafe," she said softly, her voice steady and completely honest in the quiet room. "i know it's a mess, and i know everything outside this door is completely against us. but i don't want to keep pretending that I don't care, or that staying away is what i actually want."

rafe looked down at her hand on his arm, his expression softening as the words hung in the air between them. the walls he had spent the last week trying to build up seemed to completely disappear, leaving just the raw truth of how much they both needed each other.

"i want you too, clem," he murmured, his voice dropping low as he turned his hand over to catch her fingers. "i've been losing my mind trying to force myself not to."

clem looked down at their tangled fingers, a quiet, serious intensity settling over her face. "if we do this, rafe, nobody can know. not my friends, not your family. it has to stay exactly between us."

"i know," rafe whispered back, the reality of the risk sending a sharp thrill through him. "it's the only way."

with the hidden boundaries finally drawn, the last of their hesitation evaporated. rafe reached out, his hand sliding to the back of her head, his fingers shifting to firmly pull her hair back as he tilted her face up and met her lips again.

this time, the kiss was deeper, fueled by the relief of finally giving in to what they both wanted. his grip anchored her to him as clementine leaned into his chest, her hands finding his shoulders. the quiet room faded away around them, the secret of what they were doing only making the moment feel more urgent and completely inescapable.

clementine rested her hands flat against his chest, feeling the steady, rapid beat of his heart beneath his shirt. it was a slow, heavy rhythm that matched the quiet intensity of the room, every ounce of the past week's distance completely melting away between them.

rafe shifted closer, his other hand coming up to rest gently against the side of her neck, his thumb tracing the sharp line of her jaw. it was the exact touch she had been missing all week. there was no anger left in the way he held her now, just a quiet, desperate reassurance that they were finally on the same page.

rafe’s thumb lingered at her jaw like he was memorizing the shape of her, like letting go again was something he physically couldn’t survive. the air between them felt too small for how fast both of them were breathing.

clementine tilted her face up into his touch without thinking, like her body already knew where it wanted to be even when her mind had spent weeks trying to deny it. the kiss deepened again, slower this time, less chaos and more of that unbearable pull that had been building in all the empty spaces they kept leaving behind.

rafe leaned back slightly as if to pull her with him, and this time she didn’t hesitate. the distance she’d been living with for weeks finally stopped feeling like something she had to survive.

his grip stayed firm but no longer chaotic, anchoring, like he was trying to convince himself she wasn’t slipping away again. and for a while, neither of them said anything that could pull them back into the world outside the room.

only the quiet tension of two people who had spent too long pretending they could walk away, finally stopping.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

BEGGED

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 7 of WANNA BE YOURS

plot: rafe's pov

the tires of rafe’s truck kicked up loose gravel as he tore down the driveway of tannyhill, the engine roaring in sync with the chaotic noise spinning inside his head. he slammed his hands against the steering wheel, a sharp, breathless curse escaping his lips as he cut the ignition. his hands were still shaking. the taste of her was still on his lips, a phantom warmth that made the ice-cold realization of her rejection cut even deeper.

and what makes you think this is what i want, rafe?

the words repeated in his mind like a physical blow, over and over, completely fracturing whatever confidence he had left. she didn't want him. to her, he was just the villain the pogues warned her about, the dangerous kook who destroyed everything he touched.

he pushed the truck door open and stumbled out into the humid night air, his breathing heavy and erratic as he marched toward the massive, brightly lit estate. his chest felt painfully tight, packed with a volatile mix of leftover adrenaline and the suffocating weight of being completely cast aside. he didn't want to go inside. he didn't want to risk running into ward, or reading the cold disappointment etched into his dad's face, but he had nowhere else to go. the church attic was gone now; the one sanctuary he had on the island was completely ruined.

rafe pulled the heavy front door open, slipping into the grand, silent foyer. the house felt too big, the polished marble floors reflecting the ambient light in a way that made him feel entirely exposed. he kept his eyes locked onto his sneakers, pulling the hood of his dark sweatshirt up to hide the unmistakable redness around his eyes, his boots clicking heavily as he hurried across the floorboards toward the stairs.

"rafe?"

the voice cut through the quiet hallway, sharp and sudden.

rafe froze mid-step, his jaw clenching tightly as his entire body went rigid. he closed his eyes for a split second, forcing his features to harden into a cold, defensive mask before turning around to face the source.

sarah was standing by the entrance of the kitchen, a glass of water gripped in her hand. her blonde hair was messy, a towel thrown over her shoulder, but her eyes were wide, completely focused on him. she took a step forward, her brow furrowing deeply as she took in his tense posture, the erratic rise and fall of his chest, and the raw, unhinged energy radiating off him.

"where have you been?" sarah asked, her voice dropping into a quiet, suspicious murmur as she stepped entirely into the hallway. "dad's been looking for you since dinner. he's pissed, rafe. he said you were supposed to check the boat inventory hours ago."

"i was out," rafe snapped, his voice dropping into a harsh, gravelly whisper that vibrated with leftover anger. he shoved his hands deep into his hoodie pockets, his knuckles turning white as he refused to meet her gaze directly. "mind your own business, sarah. just get out of my face."

sarah didn't back down. instead, she stepped closer, her eyes narrowing significantly as she caught sight of his face under the rim of his hood. the typical arrogant, mocking smirk he usually wore when he wanted to annoy her was entirely missing. he looked completely unraveled, his breathing shallow, his eyes bloodshot and heavy with a dark, fractured look she had never seen on him before.

"are you losing your mind?" sarah whispered, her eyes tracking the nervous way his jaw twitched. "you look completely out of it. what did you do, rafe? did you get into another fight with the pogues? because if you're messing up dad's business over some stupid territory grudge—"

"i said back off!" rafe erupted, stepping directly into her personal space, his eyes flashing with a dangerous, volatile intensity that made sarah instantly catch her breath. his chest pressed forward as he glared down at her, a desperate, breaking-point energy filling the narrow hallway. "you don't know anything about what i do! you don't know anything about me! just stay with your little pogue boyfriend and leave me alone."

"don't lie to me, rafe," sarah said, stepping directly into his path as he tried to brush past her toward the stairs. she set her glass of water down on the console table with a loud thud. "you don't look like you just got into a fight. you look completely destroyed. what happened tonight? who were you with?"

"i said get out of my way, sarah," rafe muttered, his voice shaking as he kept his eyes locked on the floor, his hood still pulled down low over his face.

"no, i'm not moving," she insisted, her voice dropping into a firm, unyielding whisper. she grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. "you've been sneaking out at all hours of the night for weeks. you're pacing the halls, you're completely distracted, and now you come home looking like you're about to break down. are you high again? have you been going to barry's? tell me what is going on with you, right now, or i swear i'm going to wake up dad and tell him everything."

the mention of barry and the threat of their father hit him like a physical blow, breaking through the last of his anger. rafe froze, his chest heaving violently as he looked at his sister. the pressure inside his head finally ruptured, and the defensive wall he had built up completely collapsed.

"i was with clementine." rafe finally choked out, his voice cracking loudly in the quiet hallway, yanking his arm back from her grip.

"it's been her this whole time. we've been meeting out at the old churchyard. ever since we started talking, it's the only time my head actually stops spinning, sarah. i even made her this pendant out of sea glass i found, just to show her- just to show her i cared."

sarah stared at him, her eyes widening in pure shock as she listened to the words pour out of him. the suspicion of drugs or barry instantly vanished, replaced by complete disbelief.

"but tonight on the boat, seeing her laugh with jj, it drove me crazy," rafe whispered, his breathing shallow and erratic as he confessed everything. "i went to the church, and i lost it. i told her i was jealous, and i kissed her. and for a second, she kissed me back, sarah. she did. but then she pulled away and told me she couldn't do it."

he finished, looking completely hollowed out and raw, standing in the middle of the hallway while sarah stared at him in utter silence. the heavy, ragged sound of his breathing was the only thing filling the space between them.

rafe trailed off, his voice cracking on the last word. he stared down at the floorboards, his shoulders shaking slightly as he swallowed the massive lump in his throat. the hallway fell into a heavy silence.

sarah just stood there, her jaw slightly slack as she processed everything he had just admitted. seeing him looking so broken stopped her from completely yelling at him, but a sharp wave of protectiveness for clementine immediately took over.

"rafe..." sarah started, her voice dropping into a tense, serious whisper. "i don't think it's a good idea for you guys to be talking. at all."

rafe's jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with a defensive edge. "what do you mean by that?"

"i mean that clementine is my friend, rafe," sarah said, standing her ground but keeping her tone measured so she didn't set him off. "she's a pogue. she belongs with us on the cut, and you know how messy things are right now. you're completely unraveling over this, and you're just going to drag her into your chaos. i don't want you messing with her head or hurting her just because you're angry."

rafe stared at her, his breathing shallow as her words hit him. he didn't say anything back, his chest heaving under his hoodie as the reality of her warning settled in the quiet hallway.

whatever, sarah," rafe muttered, brushing past her shoulder forcefully as he headed up the stairs.

he didn't look back to see her expression. his heavy boots slammed against the wooden steps, each stride fueled by a suffocating mix of humiliation and lingering anger. he needed to get away from her voice, away from the bright, mocking lights of the tannyhill hallway, and back into the dark isolation of his bedroom.

pushing his door open, he stepped inside and slammed it shut behind him, clicking the lock into place with a sharp, final snap. the room was dead quiet, illuminated only by the pale moonlight filtering through the large windows overlooking the manicured grounds.

rafe ripped the dark hoodie over his head and threw it onto the floor, running his hands through his hair as he paced the length of the room. sarah's words were ringing in his ears, overlapping with clementine's voice from the attic until his chest felt so tight he could barely catch his breath.

you're just going to drag her into your chaos.

and what makes you think this is what i want?

his gaze flicked to a stray roll of copper wire sitting under the desk lamp, the exact same wire he had spent hours meticulously twisting and smoothing out just to make something perfect for her.

a sudden, violent wave of frustration crashed over him. he grabbed a heavy glass paperweight from the desk and hurled it across the room, watching it shatter against the far wall with a deafening crack. shards of glass rained down onto the carpet, but the destructive release did absolutely nothing to quiet his mind.

he wasn't trying to drag her into chaos. he wasn't trying to mess with her head. she was the only person on the entire island who didn't look at him like he was a disappointment or a ticking time bomb. when he was with her in that dusty church attic, the constant noise in his brain actually stopped.

rafe walked over to his bed and collapsed onto the edge, dropping his head into his hands. his breathing slowly began to even out in the quiet of the room, the anger draining away and leaving nothing but a hollow, agonizing ache behind. the memory of how she had kissed him back, just for a second, before the shadow of the pogues ruined everything, burned in his chest.

he knew sarah was wrong. he knew he could be what clementine wanted. but as he stared blankly into the dark corners of his bedroom, the memory of the tears in clementine's eyes and the absolute finality in her voice made him realize that the lines separating them might be too deep for either of them to cross.

---

the bright morning sun beat down on the pristine clay courts of the figure eight country club, but rafe felt entirely frozen out. he stood by the outdoor pro shop, a racket balanced against his sneaker, though he hadn't played a single set. his chest felt tight, the lack of sleep from the night before catching up to him in a dull, throbbing ache behind his eyes.

he was trying to focus on what one of his dad's friends was saying about a real estate deal, nodding blindly, when his gaze flicked toward the outdoor patio.

his heart instantly dropped straight into his stomach.

clementine was standing near the juice bar, holding a tray of clean glasses. she was wearing a standard country club staff polo and her hair was tied back, completely exposing her face to the harsh daylight.

rafe stopped listening to the conversation entirely. his hand tightened around the grip of his racket until his knuckles turned white.

as if feeling the weight of his stare, clementine looked up. across the crowded, sunlit patio filled with wealthy kooks in tennis whites, her eyes locked directly onto his.

the entire world seemed to go dead quiet. the easy warmth they had shared in the dark attic felt like a lifetime ago, completely crushed under the weight of the night before. clementine froze, her grip tightening on the edges of the tray, her expression a fragile mix of surprise, guilt, and lingering sadness.

rafe didn't look away this time. the anger from last night had burned itself out, leaving only a raw, desperate ache. he wanted to walk over to her, to drag her away from the pristine tables and the judgment of figure eight, but sarah’s warnings and clementine's own crushing words echoed in his head.

she took a slow, hesitant step forward, as if she wanted to say something, but just as she moved, a club member called out her name, waving her over for service. clementine snapped her gaze away from rafe, swallowing hard as she forced a polite, employee smile onto her face and turned her back to him.

rafe let out a shaky, uneven breath, the rejection stinging just as sharply in the bright daylight as it had in the dark. he shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away from the patio and walking blindly toward the docks, the suffocating angst of the unsaid space between them heavier than ever.

rafe walked back up toward the shaded pavilion, his head pounding as he navigated the crowded patio. he spotted topper, ruthie and kelce sitting at one of the prime umbrella tables overlooking the water, laughing about some jet ski stunt from the weekend.

rafe dropped into an empty wicker chair beside kelce, propping his sunglasses over his eyes to block out the blinding glare and the hollow ache in his chest.

"yo, rafe, finally," topper said, leaning back and squinting up at him. "where were you last night?"

"nowhere," rafe muttered, keeping his voice flat as he stared blankly at the glass tabletop.

ruthie stirred her iced drink, looking at him with a critical eye. "well, you're missing out. the weather's perfect," she said, before shifting her attention back to her phone.

kelce added, snapping his fingers loudly to get the attention of the waitstaff. "hey! can we get some service over here?"

rafe's stomach twisted when he saw clementine turn around. she held her order pad tightly against her side, her shoulders pulling back as she forced herself to walk over to their table. she kept her eyes completely focused on her notepad, avoiding rafe's silhouette entirely, though the slight tremor in her hands gave her away.

"what can i get for you guys?" clementine asked, her voice quiet but tight as she kept her pen hovered over the pad.

topper leaned back in his chair, a slow, mocking smirk spreading across his face as he looked her up and down. "well, look who it is."

clementine’s jaw clenched, a flush of heat creeping up her neck, but she forced herself to maintain her professional stance. "do you want to order or not?"

"watch the attitude, pogue," kelce chimed in, leaning forward on his elbows with a smirk. "you're lucky we're even letting you take our order. go get us three iced teas. and make sure the glasses are actually clean. we know how you guys live over there."

rafe sat completely frozen beside them. every protective instinct in his body slammed against his ribs, screaming at him to tell kelce to shut his mouth, to wipe the smug look off topper's face. but the crushing weight of last night kept him locked in place. he stared straight ahead through his dark sunglasses, his jaw clenching so hard it ached, pretending he was a million miles away.

clementine lingered for a fraction of a second, her eyes finally flicking down to the side of rafe's face. the absolute silence from him felt infinitely worse than any of the insults his friends were throwing. she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, turned on her heel, and walked quickly back toward the kitchen.

"unbelievable," topper muttered, shaking his head. "they really need to keep them on the other side of the island."

ten minutes later, clementine returned with the tray. she set the drinks down one by one, her movements rigid. when she reached rafe's side, she placed his iced tea down slightly closer to his hand than the others. kelce and topper were already distracted again, laughing at something on a phone, while ruthie was busy adjusting her sunglasses.

as clementine picked up the empty aluminum tray, she didn't step back. instead, she leaned down slightly, her voice a raw, desperate whisper that barely carried over the laughter of the table.

"rafe," she whispered, her eyes searching his hidden gaze, completely tight with angst. "rafe, please can we talk?"

before kelce or topper could even look up from the phone, rafe reached down and wrapped his fingers firmly around clementine's forearm. the sudden touch sent a sharp jolt through both of them. he didn't wait for her to react, immediately leading her away from the table and pulling her briskly across the concrete patio.

clementine stumbled slightly, her sneakers clicking against the ground as she tried to keep up with his long, urgent strides. she didn't fight his grip, her heart hammering wildly against her ribs as he steered them past the rows of white umbrellas, completely ignoring the curious glances from a few nearby club members.

he led her down the gravel path toward the back of the property, rounding the corner of the weathered wooden fuel shack near the edge of the marina. the moment they were completely hidden from the view of the pavilion, rafe pulled her into the narrow, shaded alley between the shack and the high privacy fence.

he let go of her arm but didn't step back. instead, he pressed forward, trapping her against the wooden wall of the shack.

the space between them vanished instantly. they were standing so close that clementine could feel the intense, ragged heat radiating off his chest. rafe pulled his sunglasses off with a trembling hand, tossing them blindly onto a nearby bait crate, his dark, bloodshot eyes locking directly onto hers with a desperate, suffocating intensity.

the silence in the narrow space was deafening, filled only by the sound of their heavy, uneven breathing. clementine’s back was pressed flat against the wood, her hands still clutching the metal serving tray against her stomach like a shield, though it did nothing to lessen the magnetic pull vibrating between them.

rafe leaned down slightly, his jaw clenched so tightly a muscle twitched in his cheek. his face was only inches from hers, his gaze dropping down to her lips for a agonizing fraction of a second before snapping back up to meet her eyes, his expression completely torn between a volatile anger and a raw, breaking-point ache.

"what are you doing to me, clem?" rafe whispered, his voice incredibly low, rough, and completely stripped of the arrogant facade he had worn at the table. his breath fanned across her cheek, warm and heavy in the humid shade. "you tell me last night that we're nothing. you leave me standing alone in that attic. and then you show up here, looking at me like that, asking to talk? what do you want from me?"

clementine looked up at him, her eyes searching the raw fracture in his gaze. she set the metal tray down on the bait crate beside his sunglasses, her hands trembling so much it made a dull clinking sound against the plastic.

"i didn't mean to mess with your head, rafe," she whispered, her voice cracking as she leaned slightly away from the wooden wall, bringing her face even closer to his. "but watching you sit there and say absolutely nothing while topper and kelce talked down to me... it hurt. it made me feel like everything we talked about in the attic, everything you said to me, was completely fake the second you got back around your friends."

rafe let out a harsh, breathless laugh, his head tilting down as his forehead almost brushed against hers. the proximity was suffocating, making his chest heave against the tight constraints of his polo shirt.

"fake?" rafe repeated, his voice dropping into an incredibly bitter, desperate murmur. "you think i'm the one being fake, clem? i sat there because i didn't know what else to do. you're the one who drew the line in the dirt last night. you told me i'm not what you want because of the pogues. so what was i supposed to do? start a fight with my best friends over a girl who won't even look at me when her boyfriends are around?"

he reached out, his thumb instinctively brushing against the side of her neck, just above the collar of her faded staff polo. his touch was warm but tense, tracking the rapid, erratic beat of her pulse.

"i didn't sleep a single second last night because of what you said," rafe muttered, his eyes dropping back down to her lips before flashing back up to her gaze with a dangerous, heavy angst. "and then you show up at my club, looking like this, standing right next to me-it's driving me crazy. you can't just keep me a secret in the dark and then expect me to protect you in the light."

clementine swallowed hard, her breath hitching as his thumb lingered against her skin. the heat between them in the narrow shade of the fuel shack was unbearable, thick with all the words they hadn't been able to say out loud.

"i'm not trying to keep you a secret, rafe," she said, her voice dropping into a breathless whisper, her eyes wide as she looked up into his fractured gaze. "i'm just trying to survive the mess we're both in. you think this is easy for me? i'm terrified. every time i look at sarah, every time jj asks me what's wrong, i feel like i'm lying to everyone who keeps me safe. but when i'm with you, everything just gets complicated."

rafe's hand moved from her neck, his fingers sliding up into her hair, his grip tightening just enough to hold her gaze right where he wanted it. he leaned in until his nose brushed against hers, the space between them completely disappearing.

"then let it be complicated," rafe murmured, his voice rough and laced with a desperate edge that seemed to vibrate straight through her. "just don't look at me like i'm a stranger out there. i can't handle it, clem. i can't sit at a table and pretend i don't know exactly what you look like in the moonlight."

he closed the last remaining inch between them, his forehead pressing firmly against hers as they both stood frozen in the quiet shadows, caught in a magnetic pull that neither of them had the strength to break.

clementine let out a soft, shuddering breath against his lips, her hands rising instinctively to rest against his chest. she could feel the rapid, heavy thud of his heart beneath his shirt, matching the chaotic rhythm of her own.

"rafe, please," she whispered, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt as if she couldn't decide whether to push him away or pull him closer. "you know how this ends. we're on completely different sides of this island. if anyone sees us—"

"i don't care about the island," rafe cut her off, his voice cracking with a fierce, reckless intensity. his fingers remained tangled in her hair, holding her face inches from his. "i don't care about the cut, or figure eight, or any of them. i just care about you, clem. why can't you see that?"

the sheer desperation in his voice made her chest ache with a sharp, suffocating angst. she looked up into his dark, bloodshot eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability he only ever showed her, completely stripped of the cold, arrogant kook persona he wore out on the patio. it was the boy from the attic, the one who had carefully wrapped a piece of sea glass in copper wire just to see her smile.

"because it's not that simple," clementine said, a single tear slipping down her cheek and wetting his thumb. "it's never that simple, rafe."

rafe stared at her, his jaw clenching as he watched the tear fall. slowly, his grip on her hair softened, his fingers sliding down to trace the line of her jawline. the anger seemed to drain completely out of him, leaving behind only a quiet, hollow defeat that felt infinitely heavier than his rage.

rafe watched the tear trace a slow path down her cheek, and the last of his rigid posture seemed to give way. slowly, he brought his hand up, his thumb gently catching the drop of moisture and wiping it away from her skin before it could reach her jaw. his touch was surprisingly light, completely detached from the tense, angry grip he’d had on her arm just moments before.

"don't cry, clem," he muttered, his voice dropping into a rough, strained whisper that felt almost entirely hollow. "i'm not- i'm not trying to make you cry."

clementine kept her hands resting against his chest, her breathing shallow as she felt the slight tremor in his fingers against her face. the warmth of his thumb against her cheekbone only intensified the heavy, suffocating ache between them, making the narrow space behind the fuel shack feel completely cut off from the rest of the world.

he let his hand linger there for a second, his palm cupping her cheek as he stared down at her with a quiet, desperate intensity.

"i just hate that they get to have you out in the open," rafe murmured, his eyes shifting across her face, searching for some kind of sign that she felt the same way. "and i only get you when nobody else is looking."

clementine leaned into his palm slightly, the contact sending a sharp, painful ache through her chest. she closed her eyes for a brief second, unable to look at the sheer vulnerability in his face.

"it's not about them having me, rafe," she whispered, her voice trembling as she opened her eyes to meet his gaze again. "they're my family. they're the ones who look out for me when everything else falls apart. i can't just throw that away."

rafe’s jaw tightened, his thumb smoothing over her cheekbone one last time before his hand slowly dropped away, leaving a cold space between them. he took a half-step back, the sudden distance making the humid air feel thick and heavy.

"and what about me?" rafe asked, his voice cracking slightly as he looked down at her. "who looks out for me, clem? you're the only one who actually sees me. but to you, i'm just a liability."

"that's not true," she protested softly, stepping forward to close the gap he had just made, her hand reaching out to touch his arm. "if i didn't care, i wouldn't be standing back here with you right now. i wouldn't have asked you to talk."

rafe looked down at her hand on his arm, his expression a mix of bitter irony and longing. the distant sound of laughter from the patio drifted over the fence again, a sharp reminder that their time in the shadows was running out.

"talking doesn't change anything, clem," rafe murmured, his eyes flicking back up to hers, filled with a final, heavy angst. "either you're with me, or you're not. and we both know what you chose last night."

he looked down at her hand on his arm for one more long, agonizing second before he gently but firmly pulled away.

clementine's hand dropped to her side, the loss of his warmth hitting her instantly. she watched him reach over to the bait crate, picking up his sunglasses and sliding them back over his eyes. the dark lenses immediately masked the raw, bloodshot vulnerability that had been on display, bringing back the cold, unreadable armor of the kook she had seen up on the patio.

"rafe, wait," she whispered, her voice tight with a desperate plea.

"i have to get back to the table," rafe said, his tone flat, completely hollowed out. "topper and kelce are going to start asking questions."

he didn't wait for her to reply. he turned and walked out of the narrow alley, his boots crunching heavily on the gravel path as he headed straight back toward the bright, sun-drenched pavilion without a single backward glance.

clementine stood alone in the shadow of the fuel shack, her breath shaking as she listened to his footsteps fade away. she looked down at the metal serving tray sitting on the crate, the cold reality of the divide between them feeling wider and more permanent than it ever had before.

she looked down at her hands, still trembling from where they had been resting against his chest just seconds ago, feeling the ghost of his heartbeat still lingering against her palms.

she had spent weeks telling herself that this was just a mistake, a dangerous distraction that she needed to put an end to before someone got hurt. she had given him every logical reason why they couldn't work: the pogues, the cut, the boundary lines that everyone on the island took as gospel.

but as she stared at the empty gravel path where he had just walked away, the truth hit her with a sudden, suffocating clarity.

she didn't want to be away from him. ever.

the memory of how he had looked at her without the anger, just raw and completely breaking down as he wiped the tear from her cheek ached in a way she couldn't ignore. for all his chaos, rafe was the only person who made the rest of the world completely fade into the background. she had tried so hard to protect the life she knew, but standing there alone, the reality settled heavily in her stomach.

she wanted him. despite the mess, despite the warnings, and despite every single rule she was supposed to follow, she didn't want to let him go.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

RUN FOR THE HILLS

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 6 of WANNA BE YOURS

warnings: a kiss (finally). . . .

rafe shifted his weight against the support beam, stretching his legs out in front of him. the heavy tension from before was completely gone, replaced by a quiet, lingering curiosity.

"so," he said, breaking the silence in a low voice. "when you're not busy searching for gold and sinking boats with the pogues, what do you actually do?"

clementine frowned slightly, her head tilting as she looked at him through the shadows. "wait. how do you even know about the gold, rafe? we haven't told anyone about that."

rafe let out a dry, quiet laugh, looking down at his boots. "clem, this is a small island. your boyfriends aren't exactly quiet when they're running around the cut acting like treasure hunters. people talk. word gets around." he glanced back up at her, his expression softening. "but i don't care about that right now. i'm asking about you."

clementine watched his face for a second, looking for any sign of a threat, but finding none. she let out a soft laugh, leaning her head back against the brick chimney. "honestly, i spend a lot of time just trying to get away from everything. i collect things. weird stuff i find on the beach."

"like what?" rafe spofe softly

"smooth sea glass, old brass buttons, weirdly shaped driftwood. my room is full of it." rafe looked at her, a faint, intrigued smirk appearing on his face. "sea glass? that's what you do? you're a hoarder."

"it's not hoarding, it's preserving," she shot back playfully, nudging his boot with her sneaker. "what about you, cameron? what's your secret hobby? and don't say country club tennis."

rafe scoffed, pulling a loose splinter off the wooden beam beside him and flicking it away. "i don't do country club sports, clem. it's a joke," he said, his voice dropping into that familiar, restless edge, though it lacked his usual malice. "i usually just take the boat out to the flats. completely out past the breakers where you can't see the docks or the houses anymore. i just drop the anchor and do some spearfishing or crabbing. out there, you're just tracking the movement under the surface. it's completely quiet, nobody is asking you for anything, and my dad can't call my phone because there's no service. you just focus on the water. it's the only time my head actually stops spinning."

clementine watched him, noticing the way his tone changed when he talked about it.

she watched the way the light hit his face, casting sharp shadows across his jawline and softening the restless, defensive edge he always carried out on the cut. for a second, he didn't look like the volatile kook the pogues warned her about; he just looked tired, like he was carrying a weight too heavy for his shoulders.

"it sounds nice," she said softly, her voice barely a whisper in the quiet attic. "just being somewhere where you don't have to prove anything to anyone."

rafe glanced over at her, his dark eyes catching the pale moonlight. he didn't look away this time, and the silence between them stretched out, no longer awkward or heavy, but completely still.

"yeah," he murmured, his jaw relaxing slightly. "it is."

she cleared her throat, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the small space.

"i should get going," she said softly, offering a small, breathless smile. "before the boys start wondering where i disappeared to."

rafe nodded slowly, his expression shifting back to something more guarded, though his eyes stayed fixed on her until she disappeared down the wooden ladder.

over the next few days, clementine threw herself back into the rhythm of the cut. she spent her afternoons out on the water with the pogues, helping jj patch up the surfboards and sitting on the marsh docks with john b and pope as they talked about their next moves. she tried her best to laugh at their jokes and match their energy, but her mind kept drifting back to the quiet sanctuary of the old church. every time she looked toward the island's borders, she felt a strange, lingering pull she couldn't quite shake.

at the end of the week, she found herself walking back down the dirt path toward the churchyard after dark. when she climbed into the attic, she found rafe already waiting, sitting against the same wooden support beam.

"rafe?" her voice cutting through the silence. rafe turned around, a smile forming on his face. "i was hoping to run into you." rafe spoke "i have something for you."

she sat down across from him, he reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a small object, sliding it across the dusty floorboards toward her.

clementine picked it up. it was a small, smooth piece of deep blue sea glass, wrapped carefully in a thin, neat braid of copper wire he must have taken from his workbench, forming a simple, handmade pendant.

"found it on the beach near my place," rafe murmured, looking away and clearing his throat. "figured since you like collecting that stuff... you might want it."

a genuine smile broke across clementine's face as she ran her thumb over the smooth, frosted texture of the glass. the copper wire was wrapped tightly, a little rough around the edges but clearly put together with careful effort. it felt completely detached from the rafe cameron everyone else on the island knew.

"rafe, this is really cool," she said softly, her voice carrying a warmth that seemed to catch him off guard. "thank you. seriously." she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling. "did you-did you make it?"

rafe looked down at his sneakers, a sudden flush of color rising up his neck that he tried to hide by pulling at the strings of his dark hoodie. he cleared his throat, shifting his weight against the wooden support beam as he let out a low, slightly embarrassed laugh.

"yeah," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "i mean, it's just some copper wire I had lying around in the garage. used some pliers to twist it around so it wouldn't fall out. it's not perfect or anything, clem."

"no, it's perfect," clementine corrected gently. she carefully lifted the pendant, slipping the cord over her head so the deep blue glass rested right against her collarbone. she looked up at him, her smile widening. "i love it. really."

rafe watched her, his restless eyes finally settling as a genuine, quiet smile broke through his usual guarded expression. it wasn't the arrogant smirk he wore on the golf courses or at the country club; it was soft, relaxed, and entirely real.

"good," he said quietly, his voice dropping an octave as he leaned his head back against the beam. "i'm glad."

that moment cemented a shift between them. over the next few weeks, the old church attic completely transformed into their secret world. they didn't talk about the pogues, and they didn't talk about ward cameron.

instead, they built a friendship out of the small, normal things they couldn't share with anyone else. clementine found out that rafe was incredibly stubborn about his music tastes, refusing to admit that some of her favorite bands were actually good, while rafe learned that clementine could never sit still for too long, always tracing patterns into the dusty floorboards or adjusting the items in her pockets. they shared old childhood memories from before the island lines were drawn so sharply, laughing at things that felt a million miles away from the current reality of the cut and figure eight.

yet, sitting side by side in the dim moonlight night after night, the space between them felt smaller and smaller. the easy comfort they found in the shadows was turning into a magnetic pull that both of them carefully avoided acknowledging, fully aware of the chaos waiting for them the second they climbed down the ladder.

---

the blazing afternoon sun beat down on the deck of the hms pogue as it cut through the choppy green water of the marsh. john b was at the wheel, a faded baseball cap backwards on his head, while jj stood on the bow, shouting over the roar of the engine and pointing wildly toward a secluded cove. kiara was adjusting the dive gear, her brow furrowed in concentration, and pope was hunched over a crumpled piece of paper, muttering calculations under his breath.

right beside john b stood sarah cameron. she was laughing at something he muttered, her hand resting easily on his shoulder, completely glowing in the seaside heat.

clementine leaned against the rusted railing of the boat, a cold soda pressed against her cheek to fight the humidity. despite the heavy thoughts spinning in her head, a wave of affection washed over her as she looked at her friends. these were the people who had her back through everything.

"hey, clem, catch!" jj called out, tossing a bag of chips her way with a wide grin. she caught it easily, laughing as he practically tripped over a loose rope.

kiara looked up from the dive gear, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead, and smiled warmly at her. "don't let him distract you, clem. we actually need your eyes on the horizon today."

"i'm on it, kie," clementine promised, stepping closer to her. she reached down to help kiara untangle a strap, their shoulders brushing in a familiar, grounding way. it was in these small moments that clementine felt the fierce, unbreakable bond she had with the pogues. they were her family, the ones who kept her safe when her own home felt like a war zone.

yet, even surrounded by their warmth, a part of her mind remained anchored elsewhere.

every time the boat bounced over a wave, she felt the slight weight of the deep blue sea glass pendant bouncing against her collarbone, hidden safely beneath her shirt. her fingers instinctively twitched, wanting to reach down and touch the copper wire rafe had twisted with his own hands.

she caught herself looking over at sarah, who was currently high-fiving pope after he solved a tracking coordinate. a sudden, cold knot of anxiety twisted in clementine's stomach. sarah was rafe's sister. they lived under the same roof. clementine watched the easy, bright smile on sarah’s face, and a paranoid thought flashed through her mind: does she know? did rafe say something? had he mentioned finding sea glass, or leaving the house late at night? clementine quickly looked away, swallowing hard and forcing herself to focus on the marsh grass shifting in the wind.

just then, john b called out from the helm, "all right, crew, we're over the spot. let's get to work!"

jj immediately slid over next to clementine, bumping his elbow against hers. "you and me on the anchor line, clem? like old times?"

"always, jj," she said, looking into his bright, loyal eyes. the genuine comfort of his presence anchored her to the deck. she gripped the cold metal of the chain alongside him, throwing her strength into the effort with the pogues, even as the quiet memory of the church attic continued to whisper in the back of her mind.

as they hauled the heavy anchor chain up together, her muscles aching in a familiar, comforting way, jj let out a loud groan, leaning his weight into her shoulder playfully to make her carry more of the load.

"come on, clem, put some muscle into it!" jj teased, a wide, boyish grin splitting his face as he bumped his hip against hers, nearly knocking her off balance. clementine shoved him back with a breathless laugh, her fingers tangling with his for a split second as they both grabbed the next link of the chain. jj laughed loudly, reaching up to mess up her hair with a sandy hand, his arm draping naturally over her shoulders for a brief moment in that easy, affectionate way he always did.

for a second, the heavy thoughts in her head completely vanished, replaced by the warm, simple safety of being with jj.

but as she wiped a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and looked past jj's shoulder toward the shore, her heart instantly dropped into her stomach.

they were idling just close enough to the figure eight side of the marsh, right near the edge of a private, weathered boat dock. standing at the very end of the wooden pier, completely still, was rafe.

he was leaning against a post, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark hoodie, watching the hms pogue. his eyes weren't on john b, or the dive gear, or even his sister sarah. they were locked directly onto clementine.

from across the shifting green water, she could see the exact moment his posture went completely rigid. his jaw clenched tightly, a dark, volatile shadow crossing his features as he watched jj’s arm rest over her shoulders, watched the way she had just been laughing so easily with him. the quiet, vulnerable rafe from the church attic was completely gone, replaced by a sharp, burning jealousy that seemed to radiate across the distance between them. he looked dangerous, his eyes narrowed as his gaze flicked between jj and her, his knuckles white inside his pockets.

clementine froze, her hand still gripping the anchor line alongside jj. jj followed her gaze, his smile dropping. "yo, john b, look at the dock," jj muttered suddenly, his playful mood instantly vanishing as his arm dropped from clementine's shoulder. his grip on the anchor chain tightened, his posture locking up as he stared past her toward the pier. "we've got company."

john b cut the engine to a low, muffled idle, the sudden quiet making the tension on the boat skyrocket. everyone moved to the railing, their eyes following jj's gaze across the water.

"is that rafe?" kiara asked, her voice dripping with immediate disgust and caution. she stepped closer to pope, her eyes narrowing. "what is he doing out here?"

pope pulled his notebook tightly against his chest, his brow furrowed as he scanned the shoreline. "he must have tracked us. he knows we're surveying the marsh coordinates. if he figures out exactly where the topography lines bleed into the old wreck site, he's going to tell ward."

sarah stepped up to the edge of the bow, shielding her eyes from the afternoon sun as she stared at her brother. she let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, her shoulders dropping. "he's trying to figure out what we're looking for," she said, her voice laced with a mix of exhaustion and worry. "he's probably trying to see if we have any equipment out yet. he wants the gold for ward, john b. he thinks if he finds it first, he'll finally prove something."

"well, he's not getting near it," john b said quietly, his hand resting firmly on the steering wheel, ready to hit the throttle if rafe made a move toward a boat. "we've been working too hard for him to just come in and steal everything."

clementine stood completely paralyzed among them, the heavy fabric of her oversized shirt suddenly feeling hot against her skin. she listened to their rapid whispers, their completely logical conclusions, and the guilt in her chest expanded until it was almost unbearable.

they all thought he was hunting the royal merchant. they thought he was calculating coordinates, tracking their movements, and planning his next move to strip the wealth right out from under the pogues.

but clementine knew better. she could see the exact line of his vision, cutting straight through the humid air, completely ignoring the dive gear, ignoring the maps in pope's hands, and completely ignoring his own sister. his dark, burning gaze remained entirely fixed on her, his chest rising and falling heavily as he stood solitary on the edge of that wooden pier. he didn't care about the gold right now. he didn't care about the island or the rivalry. he was entirely consumed by the sight of her standing beside jj.

he wasn't gonna go after the gold, right? just to impress ward? he wouldn't do that to her.

the thought spun around in clementine's mind, making her stomach twist into knots.

"clem, it's okay," jj murmured, misinterpreting her frozen silence for fear. he stepped into her line of sight, effectively blocking her from rafe's view as he glared across the water. "don't let him intimidate you. he's just a kook looking for a fight."

from behind jj's shoulder, clementine saw rafe's jaw clench even tighter as he lost sight of her face, his entire body radiating a sharp, frustrated energy.

john b finally slammed the throttle forward. the engine roared back to life, and the hms pogue lurched ahead, cutting through the wake and leaving the figure eight dock, and rafe, behind.

"good riddance," jj muttered, spitting over the side of the boat into the churning water. he turned back around, his features instantly relaxing into that familiar, easygoing grin as he looked down at her. "you good, clem? you look like you saw a ghost."

"yeah," she lied softly, forcing her eyes away from the shoreline and back to the safety of the deck. "just the heat, i think."

kiara stepped over, handing clementine a cold water bottle from the cooler. "don't let him get to you. rafe is all talk anyway. he's just trying to freak us out so we mess up our coordinates."

"exactly," pope chimed in, already looking back down at his maps, his pencil flying across the page. "if we maintain this speed and angle, we'll hit the perimeter of the south marsh in ten minutes. we're completely clear of his view now."

sarah stayed near the bow, her eyes fixed on the horizon ahead, but she reached back to lightly squeeze clementine's arm as she passed by. it was a quiet gesture of solidarity, a reminder of the fierce loyalty that bound the group together.

clementine clutched the cold water bottle tightly against her palm, nodding along as jj started rambling about what he was going to buy first when they found the gold. she tried so hard to focus on the sound of her friends' voices, on the comforting weight of the pogue family surrounding her, but the memory of rafe's intense, burning glare remained scorched behind her eyelids.

she knew he was unpredictable. she knew what he was capable of when he was trying to prove himself to ward. but as she secretly touched the small copper-wrapped sea glass pendant hidden beneath her collar, she desperately hoped that whatever they had built in the quiet shadows of the old church attic was enough to keep him from tearing her world apart.

---

the sun had barely dipped below the horizon when clementine stood up from the porch of the chateau. she rubbed her temples, looking at the pogues who were still huddled around the porch table arguing over the topography maps.

"hey guys, i'm heading out," clementine said, forcing a tired yawn. "my head is completely pounding from the sun today. i think i'm just gonna go home and sleep it off."

"you want me to walk you back, clem?" jj asked instantly, half-rising from his chair with a look of concern.

"no, it's fine, jj, seriously. stay and help pope," she said, offering a reassuring smile that felt entirely fake. "i'll see you guys tomorrow."

she left the chateau behind, her footsteps quickening the moment she was out of sight. but she didn't head toward the outskirts of the cut. instead, her sneakers guided her straight down the overgrown path toward the weathered old churchyard.

when she pushed the heavy front doors open, the silence of the sanctuary greeted her. she climbed the wooden ladder rungs one by one, pushing open the trapdoor and stepping into the dim attic.

rafe was already there. he was pacing the narrow space between the support beams, his jaw clenched tightly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark hoodie. the moment he saw her face, his eyes darkened, and the soft, vulnerable version of him from the previous weeks was completely gone.

"took you long enough," rafe snapped, his voice sharp and dripping with bitter sarcasm. "i figured you were too busy celebrating on the marsh boat with your little boyfriends to bother showing up."

clementine froze, the attitude instantly catching her off guard. "what is your problem, rafe"

she asked, her voice rising in frustration as she stepped entirely into the attic, letting the trapdoor thud shut behind her. "i just walked all the way across the island to see you, and you're instantly acting like a jerk."

"my problem?" rafe scoffed, taking an aggressive step toward her, his breathing heavy as he looked down at her. "i saw you on the water today, clem. i saw the way you were laughing with jj. i saw him hanging his arm all over you like he owns you. you looked real comfortable out there."

"he's my friend, rafe! we were pulling up an anchor!" clementine yelled back, tears of frustration stinging the corners of her eyes. "you don't get to stand on a dock, glare at me like you want to kill someone, and then come up here and interrogate me about my life."

"i don't care about your life!" rafe erupted, stepping directly into her personal space. his chest was rising and falling violently, his eyes searching hers with a desperate, chaotic intensity that completely filled the small room. "i just-"

he cut himself off, his breath hitching as he looked down at her face, his gaze dropping to her lips. before clementine could even process the movement, rafe reached out, his hands trembling slightly as they caught the sides of her face, and he pulled her into a sudden, intense kiss.

it was frantic and full of all the unsaid, messy tension that had been building between them for weeks. clementine’s heart hammered violently against her ribs as she kissed him back, her fingers automatically reaching up to grip the fabric of his hoodie, the whole world spinning out of focus in the dark attic.

rafe backed her up against the wall, his lips never leaving hers.

rafe slammed his hands against the dusty wood of the support beam on either side of her head, completely trapping her as the kiss deepened, fueled by weeks of unspoken frustration and the suffocating pressure of the island divide. clementine’s mind went entirely blank, the sharp ache of reality dissolving into the overwhelming warmth of his mouth against hers. it wasn't a gentle admission; it felt like a collision of two completely broken worlds, a desperate attempt to erase the boundaries of kook and pogue that constantly threatened to pull them apart outside these walls.

she gripped the thick fabric of his hoodie, pulling him closer as if she could anchor herself to him, her heart hammering wildly against her ribs. rafe leaned his full weight into her, his lips fierce and demanding, carrying all the chaotic, unhinged energy that usually consumed him, but right now, it was entirely focused on her. for clementine, the kiss was a breathless release of the agonizing guilt she’d been carrying, a sudden, blinding confirmation that whatever was happening between them was too powerful to control. for rafe, it felt like a drowning man catching his breath, a sudden, fierce possessiveness that made him forget about ward, forget about the gold, and forget about the expectations crushing his chest.

but just as the intensity peaked, the sudden reality of what they were doing seemed to crash through the rafters. rafe abruptly pulled away, his breathing ragged and uneven.

his chest heaved as he stumbled back a step, running a hand through his hair, his features instantly twisting into a look of panic and regret.

rafe's breathing was ragged and uneven as the reality of what they were doing crashed through the rafters. slowly, he let out a long, shaky exhale, leaning his forehead gently against hers. his grip on the support beam loosened, his hands sliding down slightly as he closed his eyes.

"i'm sorry," rafe muttered, his voice dropping into a rough, strained whisper that vibrated between them in the dark space. "i'm sorry, clem. i just-i get jealous. seeing you out there with him, laughing like that, it drives me crazy."

clementine kept her eyes closed for a second, her forehead resting against his, feeling the intense warmth radiating off him. her heart was still hammering violently against her ribs, the taste of the kiss lingering, but the reality of the island and the heavy burden of her loyalties instantly flooded back into her mind.

she slowly pulled back, just enough to look into his dark, troubled eyes. "rafe, i can't," she whispered, her voice cracking with a raw, aching sadness. "i can't do this. because of my friends. they're my family, and you know what's between all of you. we can't be anything more than this."

rafe swallowed hard, slowly nodding his head as he stepped back, completely releasing her from the narrow space. his expression hardened, the vulnerability in his eyes instantly turning into a cold, sharp anger. he let out a harsh, mocking laugh as he took another step back, running a hand through his hair.

"your friends?" rafe spat, his voice laced with sudden bitterness. "that's bullshit, clem. you're seriously letting a bunch of pogues dictate what you do? you're just going to ignore how you actually feel because you're scared of what they'll think?"

clementine's jaw dropped slightly, anger flaring through her sadness. "and what makes you think this is what i want, rafe?" she shot back, her voice shaking as she stood her ground.

rafe froze, her words hitting him like a physical blow. the anger drained from his face as quickly as it had appeared, leaving behind a raw, fractured look. his eyes grew shiny, a sudden gloss of tears catching the dim moonlight as his jaw clenched tightly to stop his face from breaking. he stared at her for one long, agonizing second, looking completely hollowed out by the rejection.

without saying another word, rafe turned on his heel, yanked the trapdoor open, and climbed down the ladder, leaving clementine completely alone in the heavy silence of the dark attic.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens @ellabou18

[rafeobx]

DADDY ISSUES

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 5 of WANNA BE YOURS

warnings: alcoholic parents

the fight between the pogues and rafe was over, for now, but the chaotic noise spinning inside clementine’s head wouldn't stop. every time she closed her eyes, she didn't see the grass or the crowd; she just saw rafe. she saw the sudden, terrifying shift in his eyes when she fell, felt the memory of his frantic hands trying to check if she was alright, and heard the raw panic in his voice when he called her nickname. it made her sick to her stomach. she had shouted at him, she had told him she hated him. she did, she truly did.

the silence inside the twinkie on the drive back had been suffocating, and it didn't get any better once they reached the chateau. a heavy, sickening guilt settled deep in her chest. she was supposed to be a pogue. she was supposed to feel the same blinding, uncomplicated hatred for the kooks that the boys did. but rafe’s expression when she hit the grass kept flashing behind her eyelids, a total shattering of his arrogant mask just because she was hurt. it didn't make sense, and it terrified her.

she stayed at the chateau for a little while, trying to blend into the background while jj paced the floorboards, but the walls felt like they were closing in on her. eventually, she couldn't take the collective anger of the boys anymore. she needed to face reality, even if reality was the last place she wanted to be.

she left the safety of the chateau and walked back to her actual home on the outskirts of the cut. the walk back to her actual house felt like marching toward a gallows. she left the warmth and the noise of the chateau behind, the gravel crunching beneath her worn sneakers as the shadows of the cut grew longer and darker. she didn't want to go back. she never wanted to go back. but she couldn't hide at john b's forever, not with the suffocating guilt eating at her chest.

when she pushed the front door open, the heavy, sharp scent of stale beer and cheap whiskey hit her instantly, clogging her throat. the house was completely dark except for the flickering, pale blue glow of a television screen in the living room.

her dad was slumped in his usual recliner, a glass loosely gripped in his hand, his eyes bloodshot and heavy as they flicked up to meet hers. the air in the room instantly turned ice-cold, thick with a volatile tension that made the hairs on the back of clementine's neck stand up.

"look who finally decided to show up," he muttered, his voice slurred, rough, and dripping with an old, familiar bitterness. he gestured aggressively with his glass, spilling a few drops onto the stained carpet. "running around all night with those good-for-nothing boys, throwing your life away in the dirt. look at you. you're a mess."

clementine stood frozen by the door, her hand still resting on the rusted doorknob. her chest tightened until it physically ached, the faint bruise on her temple from topper's elbow throbbing in sync with her racing pulse. "i was just out with my friends."

her dad stalked over to her, aggressively grabbing her wrist, his grasp hard as he twisted it. "your friends are street rats, clementine!" he roared before pushing her hand away and walking back to his seat, slamming his glass down on the side table so hard the wood splintered.

the words tore right through her defenses, cutting deeper than the tight ache lingering in her wrist. he didn't care that she was hurt. he didn't care where she had been. to him, she was just a target for his own regrets, a ghost of everything he had lost. the walls of the tiny, suffocating house felt like they were collapsing inward, crushing the breath right out of her lungs.

"i hate you," she whispered, her voice cracking with a raw, jagged pain.

before he could shout back, clementine stormed off to her room, slamming the door.

the sound of the wooden door rattling in its frame echoed through the small house, leaving a heavy, ringing silence in her bedroom. clementine leaned her back against the door, sliding down until her knees hit her chest, her hands trembling against her jeans. outside, the muffled, heavy footsteps of her father retreated toward the kitchen, followed by the clink of another glass and the low hum of the television turning back on.

she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, trying to force the image of her father's angry face out of her mind, but it wouldn't stop spinning. the house felt too small, the air too thick with old regrets and stale smoke. she looked across the dark room at her window, the pale moonlight filtering through the dusty screen and catching on the leaves of the oak trees outside.

without another thought, she shoved the window pane upward, the old wood scraping loudly before clicking into place. she climbed out onto the low roof, dropping down into the damp grass of the yard with a soft thud. she didn't look back at the house as she slipped through the broken wooden gate, her sneakers hitting the dirt path as she walked away into the cool night air.

she walked aimlessly for twenty minutes, her feet instinctively guiding her away from the crowded parts of the cut and toward the marshy, overgrown borders where the island properties blurred together. she needed space to breathe, somewhere where nobody was expecting her to be anything at all.

her footsteps slowed as she came to a stop in front of the weathered old churchyard, the exact spot where she and rafe had shared that strange, quiet moment a few nights back, where rafe told her he hated being the villian. she sighed, pushing the heavy front door open, she stepped into the silent sanctuary and looked around the shadowed room. her eyes drifted to the very back, landing on a wooden ladder that stretched up toward a small trapdoor in the ceiling. wanting nothing more than to escape the rest of the world, she climbed the rungs one by one and pushed the heavy attic door upward, slipping into the darkness above.

she sat down on the dusty floorboards, pulling her knees tightly to her chest in the quiet gloom. for a long time, the only sound was her own uneven breathing and the distant creaking of the old wooden building.

the sudden, distinct sound of the church's heavy front doors groaning open shattered the silence.

clementine froze, her heart instantly leaping into her throat. she held her breath, leaning closer to the edge of the open trapdoor to peer down into the main room below.

through the shadows, rafe stepped into the church, the moonlight catching the familiar edge of his dark hoodie. he didn't look around, his posture completely rigid as he paced down the center aisle, his heavy boots echoing loudly against the floor. he looked utterly restless, his jaw tightly clenched as he ran a hand through his hair, radiating a sharp, defensive energy that seemed to fill the empty room.

clementine closed the trapdoor, holding her breath, pressing her palms against the dusty floorboards as she strained to listen to the space below. for a few seconds, there was nothing but a heavy, unbearable silence. she stared at the closed wooden trapdoor, desperately hoping the sound of his heavy boots would start moving back toward the church entrance.

instead, the distinct, rhythmic creak of the wooden ladder rungs began to echo through the empty building. he was coming up.

her heart hammered violently against her ribs as the sound grew closer and closer. she scrambled backward into the shadows of the attic just as the wooden trapdoor was abruptly shoved upward, letting in a sliver of pale light from the church main floor.

rafe’s head and shoulders emerged through the opening, his dark hoodie pulled up, his features tense and guarded. when his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the attic and landed directly on her, he paused, a brief flicker of genuine surprise crossing his face before it was instantly wiped away by his usual cold, defensive expression.

he climbed the rest of the way up, letting the trapdoor drop shut with a muted thud behind him. he didn't stand up completely under the low, sloped roof, instead resting his weight against one of the thick wooden support beams.

"what are you doing up here, clementine?" rafe asked, his voice cutting through the damp, heavy silence of the attic.

clementine scrambled backward until her spine hit the dusty brick of the old chimney, her heart hammering against her ribs. "i asked you first," she said, her voice shaking as she tried to pull her knees to her chest, keeping her eyes locked onto his dark silhouette. "this is the cut, rafe. you don't belong here."

rafe let out a low, humorless laugh, shaking his head as he pulled his hands out of his hoodie pockets. "i've been coming to this church for months, clem. nobody comes here. it’s the one place on this island where people aren't constantly watching me, waiting for me to screw up."

"well that's too bad because you screwed everything up rafe." rafe's face darkened instantly, his jaw clenching so hard the muscle twitched as he took another aggressive step forward, completely trapping her in the narrow space between the support beams. "i screwed up? you think this is all on me, clementine? your little boyfriends are the ones who can't keep their mouths shut, always pushing and pushing until someone has to put them in their place."

"putting them in their place?" clementine let out a sharp, breathless laugh, her eyes flashing with a dangerous mix of anger and leftover tears as she refused to back down an inch. "you beat pope up with a golf club rafe! and then you proceeded to beat jj up to get back at them when you're in the wrong!"

"why do you even care what i do?" rafe snapped "i'm nothing to you. and you're nothing to me."

"you're right, rafe, you are nothing to me," clementine said, her voice shaking but cutting through the narrow space between them like ice. "but i care because they're my family. they're the only people on this island who actually look out for me, while you and your country club friends just destroy everything in your path because you're bored and bitter."

rafe let out a sharp, ragged breath, his jaw clenching tightly as her words hit him. he didn't pull back; instead, he leaned in even closer, his dark eyes fixed on hers with a volatile, unreadable intensity. "family? you think they care about you, clem? the second things get ugly, they're going to leave you behind."

"don't you dare talk about them," she hissed, her hands balling so tightly into fists that her fingernails bit into her palms. she could feel the heat radiating off him, the heavy scent of rain and leather filling her senses in the cramped attic. "they actually know what loyalty means. you wouldn't know anything about that because the only person you ever look out for is yourself."

"you don't know anything about what i do!" rafe erupted, his voice dropping into a harsh, gravelly whisper that vibrated right through her chest. he stepped entirely into her personal space, his chest pressing against her shoulders, forcing her back until her head rested against the slanted wooden roof. "i do everything for my family. everything. and nobody appreciates it. nobody sees what it takes to keep things together."

"because you do it by hurting people, rafe!" clementine yelled back, tears of frustration finally spilling over her lashes, tracking hot paths down her dusty cheeks. "you think power is making people bleed. it's pathetic. you're just a bully who hides behind his dad's name."

the words seemed to strip away the last bit of his arrogant kook persona. rafe didn't yell back this time. he just stared down at her, his breathing heavy and erratic, his chest rising and falling violently against hers. the raw, unhinged anger in his eyes suddenly looked a lot like desperation, a dangerous, breaking-point energy that filled the tiny rafters until the air felt too thick to breathe.

rafe's breath hitched, his fingers tightening against the wooden beam as he stared at the tears on her face. for a long, agonizing second, neither of them moved.

rafe kept his face buried in his hands for a long moment, his chest rising and falling in ragged, uneven breaths. the volatile energy that usually surrounded him had completely flattened, leaving nothing but a heavy, raw silence in the small attic room.

clementine watched him from her spot against the wall, her own breathing finally slowing down. the hot anger that had been driving her for the last hour was entirely gone, replaced by a deep, hollow ache. seeing him look so completely stripped of his armor made the distance between figure eight and the cut feel entirely meaningless.

slowly, clementine slid down until she was sitting directly on the dusty floorboards, wrapping her arms tightly around her shins.

"my dads an alcoholic," she said quietly, her voice barely carrying across the small space, breaking the silence without any of the previous bite. "he was sitting in the dark, totally wasted. he told me i was a disappointment, rafe. he said i was just like my mother and that i’m going to end up with absolutely nothing."

rafe’s hands slowly dropped from his face. he turned his head, his dark eyes fixed on her through the shadows of the rafters. the sharp, mocking kook smirk was entirely gone. he looked at her with a strange, quiet intensity, taking in the exhaustion etched into her features.

"ward does the same thing," rafe confessed, his voice dropping into a low, gravelly murmur that sounded completely hollow. he leaned his elbows on his knees, staring down at his own knuckles. "he doesn't have to drink to do it, either. he just looks right through me. i spent the last three weeks trying to fix up that boat for him, trying to show him i can handle the business, and he just called me an embarrassment. he told me i don't have what it takes to be a cameron."

clementine looked up, meeting his gaze. a heavy, understanding silence settled between them. it was the first time either of them had admitted out loud how much those words actually tore them apart.

"it's like no matter what we do, we're already the villains in their stories," clementine murmured, a bitter, faint smile touching her lips before fading away.

"yeah," rafe agreed softly, his jaw clenching slightly, but this time without any anger. he slid off the wooden crate, moving to sit on the floorboards a few feet away from her, leaning his back against the same support beam. "it's exhausting. always playing the part everyone expects you to play."

"then stop playing it," she said, turning her head to look at him. "you don't have to be the person they want you to hate, rafe. and you don't have to prove anything to ward."

rafe let out a short, quiet breath, looking at her with a raw vulnerability that shook her to her core. "okay," he said, the word barely a whisper as he stared at the space between them. "but it's not that easy, clem. when you've been the bad guy for so long, people don't just let you change the script."

clementine leaned her head back against the wall, watching the way the moonlight cut through the dusty air of the attic. "i know," she admitted softly. "every time i step out of my house, i feel like i'm carrying a label i didn't ask for. but out here? right now? nobody is looking at us. nobody is expecting us to fight."

rafe let out a small, tired breath that sounded almost like a laugh. he unclasped his hands, letting them rest loosely on the floorboards. "it's weird," he murmured, looking over at her. "if anyone saw us sitting here like this, they’d think we lost our minds."

"let them think whatever they want," clementine said, turning her head to meet his eyes. the tension that usually defined them was completely gone, replaced by a quiet, shared understanding. "just for tonight, we don't have to be a pogue or a kook. we can just be out here."

rafe nodded slowly, his shoulders relaxing completely for the first time since he had climbed up the ladder. the old church attic remained completely still around them, offering a rare, temporary sanctuary from the chaos waiting on the rest of the island.

they sat in silence for a few minutes, side by side. the quiet between them didn't feel heavy anymore; it felt like a relief. for the first time, neither of them had to be on the defensive or maintain the exhausting reputations they carried out in the real world. sitting side by side in the dim attic, the silence became a space where they didn't have to explain themselves.

without speaking, they both understood the constant, crushing pressure of trying to measure up to a father's impossible expectations, and the deep bitterness that came with always being misunderstood. rafe knew the exact brand of isolation clementine felt when she looked at her home, and clementine recognized the desperate, reckless need to prove oneself that drove rafe's worst impulses.

they were from completely different worlds on the island, but in the dark of the old church, the boundaries completely eroded. they were just two people who knew exactly what it felt like to be completely unseen by the people who were supposed to love them most, finding a strange, comforting solidarity in their shared isolation.

taglist:

@cheapdocmartens

[rafeobx]

THE GRUDGE

pair: rafe cameron x pogue!reader

trope: forbidden/secret romance, enemies to lovers

masterlist

face claim for female oc: elena glibert/nina dobrev

chapter 4 of WANNA BE YOURS

plot: rafe cameron is stuck in clementine's head and jj, john b, and pope get their revenge by sinking toppers boat. however, rafe wants his vengeance too. he ambushes the pogues and clementine sees that he might be what everyone says he is after all.

the next morning, clementine woke up to the sound of hushed, intense whispering coming from the porch. her bones felt heavy, her mind still clouded by the terrible realization that she might not hate rafe cameron as much as she says she does. she rubbed her face, trying to shake the memory of his cologne from her senses, and stepped out into the living room.

"i'm telling you, pope, we can't just sit here and take this," jj hissed, his voice low but vibrating with raw adrenaline. "rafe thinks he owns this island. he thinks because he lives in a mansion on figure eight he can just use a golf club on one of us and walk away? no way. we're giving him a taste of his own medicine."

pope looked up, his jaw clenched tightly. the usual rule-following, straight-a student demeanor was completely gone, replaced by a cold, dark anger that clementine had never seen in him before. "i don't want to just sit here either, jj. i want him to feel exactly how I felt on that pavement."

clementine sat at the edge of the kitchen table, her fingers wrapped tightly around a mug of cold coffee she hadn’t touched. across from her, jj was pacing the floorboards, his eyes bloodshot and blazing with a manic, restless energy. pope was still crashed on the couch, his breathing heavy and uneven, while john b leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed, staring blankly at the floor.

john b sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "jj, we need a plan. if you go rolling up to figure eight with a gun, you’re the one who ends up in handcuffs, not rafe."

"i don't give a damn about a plan!" jj snapped, turning his gaze toward clementine. "clem, back me up here. you saw him last night. you were furious. where the hell did you even go yesterday anyway?"

clementine’s heart did a violent flip against her ribs. the scent of rafe's cologne felt like it was still trapped in her lungs. she forced her expression to stay completely flat, praying the morning light wouldn't betray the sheer panic coursing through her veins.

"i just drove around," clementine said, her voice steadier than she expected. "i was angry, jj. but john b is right. if you go after rafe blind, you’re playing right into his hands. that’s exactly what he wants."

jj scoffed, tossing his lighter onto the table. "since when do you defend rafe cameron? the guy is a psycho."

"i’m not defending him!" she shot back, a little too quickly, her defensive walls slamming up. "i'm trying to keep you out of jail. if you get locked up, rafe wins. is that what you want?"

jj stared at her for a long second, his eyes narrowing slightly before he threw his hands up in frustration. "whatever, i'm not listening to this." clementine got up, storming off to her room.

jj watched her walk away before turning to john b and pope. "fine. no guns. but we’re getting revenge. pope deserves payback, and i know exactly how to do it." he leaned over the table, a dark, vengeful smirk spreading across his face. "rafe loves that expensive dirt bike of his more than anything. and topper’s precious boat? we’re going to show them what happens when you mess with a pogue."

john b looked up, his jaw tightening. "the boat?"

"yeah," jj said, his voice dropping into a malicious whisper. "we sink it. or we wreck it. we take away the toys their daddies bought them. it’s perfect."

"i'm in," john b said quietly, his voice hard. "they need to learn a lesson."

the rest of the morning passed in a blur of quiet, anxious preparations that clementine couldn't bring herself to fully participate in. her chest tight with a heavy sense of dread that she couldn't shake.

as the hours dragged on, she tried to lose herself in chores around the chateau, but the silence between her and the boys grew thicker, weighed down by the secrets she was harboring. by the time midday arrived, the sun was beating down mercilessly on the cut, mirroring the suffocating heat of her own thoughts.

the heat from the burning afternoon carried straight into the evening, heavy and thick with tension. clementine left the boys sitting on their blanket, volunteering to grab snacks from the concession stand near the edge of the woods just to get a moment to breathe away from the group.

she was walking back with the drinks when a figure stepped out from the darkness of the trees, blocking her path entirely.

it was rafe.

"hey, clementine," rafe said, his voice dropping low as he stepped into her space.

"what do you want, rafe?" clementine asked, her grip tightening around the cups, her eyes darting between the three of them.

"you know exactly what we want," rafe said, his expression hardening as he leaned in closer. "your friends think they can just do whatever they want on this island and get away with it. they think there are no consequences."

"i don't know what you're talking about," clementine said, trying to step past him, but topper shifted to block her exit.

"yeah, you do," rafe hissed, his eyes locked onto hers with a sharp intensity. "you tell your little pogue boyfriends that we know what they did."

"get out of my way, rafe," she said, her voice shaking slightly but holding her ground.

rafe stared down at her for a long, heavy second, the silence stretching between them under the blue light of the projector, before he finally stepped back and let her pass into the dark.

clementine didn't just walk back to the blanket; she practically ran, the plastic cups rattling in her trembling hands. the heavy, sweet scent of popcorn in the air felt completely sickening now. her chest was heaving with a mix of leftover adrenaline from confronting rafe and a sudden, freezing spike of panic.

we know what they did

the words repeated like a broken record in her head. she burst through the crowd of townies sitting on their beach towels and dropped the drinks directly onto the blanket, right in front of jj, john b, and pope.

the three boys looked up, startled by her sudden arrival. jj already had a smirk forming on his face, reaching for a cup, but it vanished the second he saw the look on her face.

"whoa, clem, what's wrong?" john b asked, sitting up straighter. "you look like you just saw a ghost."

"what did you guys do?" clementine demanded, her voice a sharp, fierce whisper that barely carried over the sounds of the movie projector. she looked directly at jj, her eyes wide with accusation.

jj blinked, shifting uncomfortably but quickly trying to play it cool, leaning back on his elbows. "i don't know what you're talking about, clem. we're just enjoying the film."

"don't lie to me, jj!" she snapped, dropping to her knees on the edge of the blanket so she could get closer to them, keeping her voice low enough so the surrounding families wouldn't hear. "i just ran into rafe by the concession stand. he told me to tell my little pogue boyfriends that he knows what you did. he said there are consequences."

pope froze, his gaze immediately darting to john b, his jaw tightening as the reality of the situation set in. john b’s expression went completely serious, his eyes narrowing as he looked toward the tree line where clementine had just come from.

"he confronted you?" jj asked, the playful demeanor completely vanishing, replaced by an instant, protective anger. he started to stand up, his hands balling into fists. "where is he? is he alone?"

"sit down, jj!" clementine hissed, grabbing the sleeve of his flannel shirt and pulling him back down. "answer my question. you guys did something today after i walked out of the room, didn't you? what did you do to rafe?"

john b let out a heavy breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at her. "we didn't do anything to rafe, clem."

"then why is he threatening me?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly with frustration.

"because," pope said quietly, breaking his silence as he looked up from the ground, his voice hard and entirely devoid of regret. "we didn't touch rafe. we went after topper's boat."

clementine’s heart stopped. the image of the pristine, expensive kook boat flashed through her mind, followed instantly by the memory of rafe’s dark, unstable expression just moments ago. "what do you mean you went after it?"

"we sunk it, clem," jj whispered, a small, defiant glint returning to his eyes despite the danger. "it's at the bottom of the marsh right now."

the air left clementine's lungs completely. she looked between the three of them, horror washing over her. they hadn't just played a prank; they had declared an absolute war, and rafe was already looking for a reason to snap.

"you did what?" clementine whispered, the words scraping against her throat. she stared at jj, then at john b, waiting for one of them to tell her it was just a bad joke. but nobody laughed. pope just kept staring at the grass, his expression cold and unmoving.

"it was the only way to hit them where it hurts, clem," john b said, trying to keep his voice steady and reasonable, but there was a flicker of nerves in his eyes now. "they think they can destroy us and we'll just take it. we had to draw a line."

"a line?" clementine’s voice rose slightly before she caught herself, squeezing her eyes shut for a second to stop the room from spinning. "you didn't draw a line, john b. you just handed them the matches. do you have any idea what you've done?"

"oh, come on, clem," jj muttered, though he wasn't looking at her anymore. his eyes were scanning the edges of the crowd, his body completely tense. "they're kooks. they'll just get a check from their daddies and buy a new one. it’s fine."

"it's not fine!" she hissed, her hands balling into the fabric of her jeans. "topper is one thing, but rafe-you don't know him. you don't know what he's like when he loses control."

the words slipped out before she could stop them, heavy and loaded. jj’s head snapped back toward her, his blue eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"and how exactly do you know what rafe cameron is like when he loses control?" jj asked, his voice dropping into a dangerous, quiet register.

clementine froze, the blood running completely cold in her veins. john b and pope were both looking at her now, their attention locked entirely on her face. she could feel the trap closing in around her, the weight of her secret pushing down on her chest until she could barely breathe.

"i just mean-" she stammered, frantically searching for an excuse, her eyes darting away from jj's intense stare. "i saw him last night." she confessed, finally "i went to look for him after he hurt pope. he's unhinged, jj. he’s not thinking straight. if you think a sunken boat is going to make him back down, you're completely blind."

jj stared at her, the silence between them suddenly louder than the audio blasting from the projector screen. john b froze mid-motion, the blanket hanging loosely from his hand, while pope looked up with wide, shocked eyes.

"you went to see him?" jj’s voice was dangerously low, the kind of quiet that meant a storm was about to break. "after what he did to pope, you went straight to his house?"

"i was angry, jj!" clementine whispered fiercely, her eyes burning as she defended herself. "i wanted to look him in the eye and tell him exactly what he is. i wanted him to know he couldn't get away with it."

"are you out of your mind, clem?" john b hissed, stepping between her and jj before jj could boil over. "rafe cameron is dangerous. you don't just walk up to a guy like that alone in the dark. what the hell were you thinking?"

"i wasn't thinking!" she admitted, the truth tearing out of her. she couldn't tell them the rest. she couldn't tell them how close he had gotten, or the things he had whispered against her skin, or the terrifying fact that she had kept his secret. "but i saw the look in his eyes. he's looking for a war. and sinking topper’s boat just gave him the perfect excuse to start one."

pope let out a rough, dry laugh, shaking his head. "he started it when he brought a golf club to a food delivery, clem. we just finished it."

"you didn't finish anything," clementine said, her voice dropping into a desperate, hollow whisper. "you just made sure it’s going to get worse." clementine ran a hand through her hair, looking around for rafe, her eyes finding him right away. the boys must have noticed the change in her expression because they all turned around in the direction of her gaze. topper, rafe, and kelce sat a few rows behind them.

topper, rafe, and kelce sat a few rows behind them, their faces illuminated by the pale, cold glare of the movie screen. they weren't moving, just watching the pogues with an unsettling, quiet intensity that made the hairs on the back of clementine's neck stand up.

"don't look at them," john b muttered under his breath, his hand gripping jj’s shoulder before jj could make a move. "we're leaving. right now."

jj’s jaw was clenched so tightly a vein was throbbing in his temple, his eyes locked onto rafe. rafe didn't blink, his expression completely blank, but there was a dark promise in his eyes that sent a shiver straight down clementine's spine. he was waiting, and they all knew it.

"come on, pope," john b said, keeping his voice steady as he guided pope toward the outer edge of the crowd, completely bypassing the rows where the kooks were sitting.

clementine followed closely, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm against her ribs. but before they could make it to the van, rafe and his boys stepped out in front of them.

rafe stepped into the center of the gravel path, cutting off the route to the twinkie. topper and kelce moved in right behind him, their shadows stretching out long across the grass. the movie audio hummed in the background, but between the two groups, the air went completely dead and silent.

"where do you think you're going?" topper asked, his jaw tight as he stared down john b.

jj didn't wait. he shoved his way past john b, stepping right up into rafe's personal space, his eyes blazing. "get out of the way, cameron. unless you want to do this right here in front of everybody."

rafe didn't even look at jj. his gaze remained entirely locked onto clementine, his eyes heavy with a cold, intense scrutiny. "i told you back by the trees, clementine. you really should have stayed home tonight."

"she's with us, rafe," john b said, his voice dropping into a low warning as he anchored himself right next to jj. "back off."

"she shouldn't be," rafe whispered, his voice dangerously smooth as his eyes finally flicked over to john b and jj. "you guys think you're clever, don't you? you think you can sink a boat and just slide back to the cut like nothing happened?"

"we don't know anything about a boat," jj lied right to his face, a mocking smile stretching across his lips, though his posture remained completely rigid and ready for a fight. "but we know what you did to pope. so maybe we're just getting started."

kelce scoffed, stepping up closer to topper. "you pogues are a joke. you think you can play dirty and not get burned?"

clementine felt the panic rising into her throat, a suffocating heat making her chest tighten. she looked at the dark, unstable glint in rafe's eyes and knew that one wrong move from jj would break the fragile dam keeping him back.

"pope, let's just go," clementine said quickly, her voice shaking slightly as she grabbed pope's arm, trying to force a path around the side of the tree line.

rafe's eyes snapped back to her instantly, watching her hand on pope's arm. a sharp, bitter edge flickered across his face, his jaw clenching tightly in the dim light. he stepped in front of clementine, his body so close she could feel his breath on her neck.

jj stepped up instantly, slamming his hand hard against rafe’s shoulder to force him away from clementine. "i told you to back off, cameron."

before rafe could even react, topper bypassed them completely, stepping right into pope’s face with pure fury written across his features. "that was some nice work you did on my boat, heyward."

pope didn't back down, his jaw tight as he stared him out. "i told you, man, i don't know what you're talking about."

"take one more step, topper, and i'll rip that prepubescent face off," jj threatened, stepping up to intervene, but kelce immediately lunged forward, grabbing jj from behind and pinning his arms back.

topper kept pressing into pope's space, the taunting too much to handle. before clementine could even scream for them to stop, pope’s restraint snapped. he threw a heavy first punch straight to topper's jaw.

all hell broke loose.

topper and pope crashed into the grass, grappling wildly. jj was shouting, furiously trying to break free from kelce’s grip, while rafe immediately threw himself into the chaos, targeting jj. clementine could only watch in absolute horror as the blue light of the screen illuminated the sudden, frantic blur of movement.

"let go of him! asshole!" clementine screamed, rushing forward toward the center of the scuffle. she reached down, desperately grabbing the back of topper’s shirt to yank him off of pope.

but topper swung his arm back blindly to shake her off. his elbow caught clementine hard across the side of the head. the impact sent her stumbling backward, losing her footing entirely until she hit the grass, the ground rushing up to meet her as the chaos blurred around her.

the sound of the crowd and the shouting seemed to instantly muffle the second clementine's back hit the ground. a sharp throb pulsed against her temple where topper's elbow had connected, making her blink rapidly against the flickering blue light of the projector screen.

through the blur, the weight of the fight shifting away from her was almost immediate.

"topper, stop! get off him!"

the voice wasn't john b's or jj's. it was rafe.

before clementine could even push herself up onto her elbows, rafe had dropped to his knees right beside her in the grass. the cold, untouchable anger that had been frozen onto his face all night was completely gone, shattered into a frantic, chaotic panic. his hands hovered over her shoulders, trembling slightly as if he wanted to pull her up but was terrified to touch her.

"clem? hey, look at me," rafe rushed out, his voice dropping into a raw, breathless whisper that was completely swallowed by the surrounding noise. his fingers brushed against her jaw, tilting her head slightly toward him so he could scan her face. "are you okay? did he hit you?"

clementine blinked up at him, her breath hitching as the scent of his cologne and sweat clouded her senses once again. his eyes were wide, completely dark, and fixed on her with a desperate intensity that had absolutely nothing to do with the war between the pogues and the kooks.

"i'm fine," she got out, her voice raspy as she tried to pull away from his touch, but her arms felt heavy.

just a few feet away, the scuffle was still happening, but rafe didn't even glance back at topper or jj. he stayed completely crowded over her, his chest heaving as he blocked the rest of the world out. "you shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it," he hissed, though the anger in his voice was entirely laced with fear. "you shouldn't have been here."

clementine shoved his hands away, the throb in her temple fueling a sudden spike of pure heat. "don't touch me," she spat, her voice shaking with raw anger as she scrambled backward on the grass, putting distance between them.

rafe’s expression faltered, a flash of hurt cutting through his frantic worry before his face hardened back into that defensive, rigid mask.

"i'm serious, rafe, get away from me," she hissed, pushing herself up to her feet even though the world tilted slightly for a second. she glared down at him, her eyes burning. "you bring your friends here to ambush us, you start a literal riot, and then you act like you care if I get hurt? you are the reason any of this is happening!"

rafe stood up quickly, trying to step closer to her again, his hands half-raised. "clem, topper didn't mean to hit you, he was-"

"i don't care what he meant to do!" clementine shouted over the noise of the crowd, backing up until she was entirely out of his reach. "you completely ruin everything you touch. i told you last night that i hate you, and i meant it. stay away from me and stay away from my friends."

before he could answer, john b and jj broke away from the scuffle, rushing over to flank her. jj immediately shoved himself between rafe and clementine, his jaw set, while john b grabbed her arm to steady her. rafe froze, his dark eyes locked onto clementine’s face, watching the absolute fury and disgust written across her features until he finally stepped back into the shadows of the tree line.

the drive back to the cut was entirely silent, the tension inside the twinkie so thick it felt impossible to breathe. jj sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window with his jaw clamped shut, his knuckles split and bleeding onto his jeans. john b kept both hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel, while pope sat in the back next to clementine, holding a makeshift ice pack against his ribs.

clementine leaned her head against the cool glass of the window, staring out at the passing shadows of the marsh. the side of her face throbbed where topper's elbow had connected, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the chaotic noise spinning inside her head.

every time she closed her eyes, she didn't see the fight. she saw rafe.

she saw the sudden, terrifying shift in his eyes when she fell. she felt the frantic touch of his hands trying to check if she was alright, and she heard the raw panic in his voice when he called her nickname. it made her sick to her stomach. she had shouted at him, she had told him she hated him. she did, she truly did but the fact that he had looked at her like that in front of everyone made the secret between them feel ten times heavier.

the silence inside the twinkie was suffocating, but it was nothing compared to the noise inside her own head. she pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the dark silhouettes of the marsh trees blur past.

a heavy, sickening guilt settled deep in her chest. she was supposed to be a pogue. she was supposed to feel the same blinding, uncomplicated hatred for the kooks that the boys did. but rafe’s expression when she hit the grass kept flashing behind her eyelids. the genuine panic, the total shattering of his arrogant mask just because she was hurt. it didn't make sense, and it terrified her.

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