Ragin' Cagein'

This is a space dedicated to the anomaly that is Nicolas Cage and his egregious yet fantastic film career.  Join me as I review the worst of his movies as I question his life choices as well as my own. 

[ragincagein4life]

Outcast

Yikes...I think we’re about to have a Stage 5 catastrophe on our hands.  Let me set the scene:

1. 5% on Rotten Tomatoes 2. A wig game of epic proportions: “The film may be best remembered for costar Nicolas Cage's warrior coif, perhaps his most unflattering movie hairdo yet - and that's saying a lot.” -Gary Goldstein, Los Angeles Times 3. A trailer that boasts a confusing plot and horrendous accents, specifically by NC Hammer:

How dreadful! 

4. This looks like another story about white men coming to the rescue, in this case, to save the Chinese from themselves.  Classic.

I’m so glad Hollywood is embracing Native American actors oh wait--

And here we goooooo! So already we’re off to an interesting start as this movie is supported by none other than MEDIABIZ!!  Or Media Metrics as featured on their website:

Fuck yeah.

Oh. My. Accents.  I don’t know what is coming out of NC’s mouth- a mix of a British and Scottish accents?  And Oh Lord, that WIG.  He’s either wearing extensions or a full blown wig.  Either way, his hair is fashioned in a sad excuse for a braid.  Our other leading man, Hayden Christensen, is sporting a pompadour (his new name throughout this post) and is butchering what I assume to be a British accent. 

"’Ello Puppet, care for a spot of teabag-I mean tea?”

I roped my boyfriend into watching this dumpster fire and already he’s noticed something familiar about this plot...it’s almost as though we’ve seen it before...it’s coming to me now...Russell Crowe...”busy little bees”...the Colosseum...oh yeah, now I remember.  This movie is a ripoff of Gladiator except I doubt ol’ Pompadour will ever be standing on stage accepting an Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role.  Whoever wrote this film needs to be careful...Russell Crowe doesn’t fuck around.  The poor gent or lady might find a phone thrown at his/her head.  

So far Pompadour (or Pompy) and NC are introduced as soldiers of some kind, although I’m not sure who or what they fight for.  Pompy is getting too heated during the opening battle and allegedly kills women and possibly children.  Well NC is NOT down with that (this is no “Season of the Witch”) so I assume this is how Pompy become the outcast.

Serious question, why does Hayden Christensen insist on being terrible?

We’re then transported to China where the dying King gives the throne to his youngest son to promote a time of peace.  He gives his son the sacred seal (no idea why it’s important) and instructs his daughter, the Princess, to flee with Princey Poo. Well, turns out the oldest son, and heir to the throne, is a sociopath, a la Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator.  We’ll call this dick bag Norman Bates. Well, Norman threatens to nail a soldier’s children to a wall and rape his wife (again...Gladiator) if he doesn’t pledge his loyalty, tells everyone to leave, then stabs his father with no witnesses.  Norman blames his younger brother for the murder and sends his soldiers to capture and kill him.

“Only trash kill their fathers with knives.  A pillow is forever.” 

The Boyfriend pipes in, “This dialogue!  I’ve heard better dialogue in pornos.”  Fact.  Aaand he’s excused himself from the rest of the movie.  I shall continue this journey solo.  

Norman’s soldiers come across Princey Poo and his sister at what I assume is an opium den where Pompy just happens to be getting high.  Right before they’re about to execute the boy and capture the Princess, Pompy sets aside his drugs and defends the royals.  I guess the three are now a rag tag gang of misfits.  What jumped out to me most during this scene is not the half-assed fight sequences or the horrendous accents, but the following line: 

“Cool man, I just want my sword back.” 

I swear I heard someone say that! Then a few minutes later, Princey Poo utters this gem:

“I thought white devils didn’t bathe”  This movie using the name White Devil isn’t great.

NC is back!! Oh how I’ve missed his luscious head merkin.  But it’s just for a fleeting moment.  We find out through very artsy flashbacks that NC taught Pompy to become a warrior and now Pompy will do the same for Princy-Poo.  And I’m slowly realizing NC is in a supporting role and not the lead.  ERRONEOUS ON ALL COUNTS!!  And without my delightfully entertaining Cagey-kins, I’m pretty check out.  

...Mediocre fight scene....Terrible dialogue....Pompy’s eye-melting hair.....Snooze.

And we’re back!  Pompy is attacked and wakes up to a deep voice and snakes...could it be...our Wig and Savior Nesus Chage??  It is!!!!  The two seem to still hate each other and I’m so glad because it inspires gems like this:

“I should have left you in the woods...for crow meat!”  

Might as well be a siren’s song luring me to the rocks because I. Am. In. After berating Pompy for essentially being the worst, which he deserves for the hair alone, NC yells at Princy-Poo for calling Pompy “the White Ghost.”  NC is the TRUE White Ghost...not sure why that’s a title he insists on having but I digress.  Princy-Poo, who is apparently supposed to be 14 (going on 7), tries to persuade NC to help them defeat Norman Bates by offering a reward.  Alas, NC figures it would just be easier to sell Princy-Poo and the Princess to Norman soooo to be continued.

Weeeeeerk that wig, Daddy! 

Meanwhile back at the palace, Norman trains by battling multiple men at once.  How erotic!  And he’s shirtless?  Things are getting interesting.  But then he receives a note and orders the soldiers to get the horses.  End of scene.  

Cut to a love scene (kind of?) between Pompy and the Princess and it’s awful.  Between her baby mouse voice and his cringe-inducing acting, it’s hard to watch.  Pompy soon heals and reveals that he didn’t kill any children during the battle at the beginning of the movie; their own mothers killed them before dying of suicide.  Great.  I guess that grim piece of information means NC and Pompy are all good since he isn’t as murdery as we thought. 

“At one time she had the most beautiful singing voice.  But the God’s cut out her tongue!! Blind in my right eye.  But I still have hair, which is all that really matters.”  What the fuck is NC talking about and did the director give him poppers and tell him to improvise?  I actually hope that’s the scenario over someone actually writing this trash.  

“I’m a simple man, easily bedazzled by swift talking princes.”  What. What. WHAT. 

Well, I guess Norman’s army found out Princy-Poo is in the mountains with NC and they’re heading up to attack.  Luckily, NC and his head-beaver find out with enough time to coordinate an attack with the other outlaws.  SMOKE!  ARROWS!  WIGS!  OH MY!  And the battle leads to one of the best Nic Cage scenes I’ve seen in a while:

YEEESSSSSSSS!!!!  Of course I’m upset his character will no longer be gracing the screen- the movie is worthless without him- but that acting gave me life!  Now that I guess all of the outlaws are dead except Pompy, they surrender to Norman.  Princy-Poo tries to stand up to his big bro by yelling, “Father would hate what you’ve become!”  Right.  Pretty sure your dad already knows how terrible Norman is since he stabbed him to death.  Anyway, Princy-Poo puts up the lamest fight and is immediately kicked to the ground, which leads to this quote by ol’ Norman to Pompy:

“You’ve spilled a lot of blood today.  Let’s see how much you have left.”  

Please note that while delivering this superb piece of writing, he was fancily tossing aside a black cape.  I think it just got hotter in my living room!  What can I say, Mama’s got a thing for capes and shit dialogue.

Norman and Pompy face off in a battle fit for a sloth and it lasts about two minutes, which is still too long.  It ends with Princess Baby Mouse threatening to stab Norman, tries to, and Norman sort of stabs her.  She mostly just lazily falls on his sword.  Apparently this is beyond Norman’s level of coping because he becomes distracted allowing Pompy to come in with a lethal blow.  What. A. Mess.  

(Apologies for the terrible quality)

As soon as the leader of Norman’s army realizes the cape-wearing psychopath is dead, he and the army bow down to Princy Poo.  Pompy buries NC then escorts Princess Baby Mouse and Princy-Poo back to the palace.  Screen fades to black.  This movie is worthless.  

So many questions come to mind, but mostly, who in God’s name is responsible for this movie??  After some very extensive research on the scholarly website, IMDB, we can thank James Dormer for writing the script  and Nick Powell for directing.  Let’s just take a moment with Nick Powell.  After looking at his page on IMDB, it’s very apparent that he’s not an experienced director (he’s directed two films including Outcast) but is a stunt man/coordinator.  That explains so much.  I didn’t mention this before but the camera work is all over the place and I say that with the confidence of someone who has no film experience.  I will say though, Nick Powell has worked on some pretty great films as a stuntman, including Cinderella Man where he coordinated the boxing.  I’ll give credit where credit is due...well played, sir.  

And of course, I needed to see if Nic Cage gave any interviews about Outcast and the internet delivered, specifically, here is he talking about the director:

Please note NC’s hair...either he’s still wearing his wig from the movie or he got extensions.  Either way, this needs to be the new man-bun.  And “I have high hopes.”  Oh, Nicy-Poo, never change.  

When all is said and done, I was planning on giving this movie 1/5 Ragin’ Cageins but after witnessing NC’s over the top performance and wig game, I’ve decided 2/5 is more appropriate. 

But don’t get it twisted...avoid this movie.  Just don’t.  

And before wrapping up, it’s worth mentioning not everyone hated this movie, in fact, some loved it.  Behold a 10/10 review from IMDB written by gwidden_1:

I am voting this 10, as I found it very entertaining, and can't believe how negative the reviewers are here. I watch a lot of Asian drama, subtitled, and I was thrilled to see an attempt to bridge the gap this way. When you watch subtitled drama, you soon find out that the bilingual Western actors are embarrassingly bad. It was a joy to have the movie all in English, with all the things I love most about Asian cinema...great direction, cinematography, action, and pacing. Never a dull moment. Cage was unnecessary,except as an attention-getting name. As for the literally-minded out there...go watch a documentary. Suspending disbelief is a necessary talent when watching drama. You get to focus on other things. My only complaint is I would have enjoyed more martial arts by some of the talented cast. More please!

NC wasn’t unnecessary???!  How. Dare. You.  I won’t even dignify gwidden_1 with a response.  

Well my fellow trashy movie watchers, that does it for my review of Outcast.  Stay tuned for future posts and be sure to comment below or on Instagram if you have any requests!

Peace, Love & Wigs 

xoxo

[ragincagein4life]

Ragin’ Cagein’ Takes On Instagram

Hello lovely readers.  First, thank you for indulging my ridiculous past time of watching and reviewing terrible movies.  Second, Ragin’ Cagein’ now has an Instagram!  Please follow and share with friends, family, or really anyone you feel like would appreciate this garbage art form.  

https://www.instagram.com/ragincagein/

I’ll post about new blog entries, upcoming reviews, and any random thoughts Nic Cage related.  Please enjoy!

Peace, love and wigs xoxo

[ragincagein4life]

USS Indianapolis

I haven’t posted a Ragin’ Cagein’ review in months; a grave offense on par with Nicy Poo’s hair (wig? spray paint?) in our next film: USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage.  You probably haven’t heard of this movie because Cagey Kins churns out blockbusters (we’ll use that term very loosely) like he needs to pay back the IRS after bankruptcy…oh wait.  Before pressing play, I decided to do a little research on the old Goog to see what pops up.  It currently has 5.1/10 stars on IMDB, which is actually pretty good for our resident screamer.  But then I saw the review on Rotten Tomatoes…9%...me thinks we found a winner.  If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching this tasty treat, here is the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExSDMWJhm_Q

Before diving in (pun intended…too soon?) here’s a little background on the event this movie attempts to recreate on screen, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Her sinking led to the greatest single loss of life at sea in the history of the U.S. Navy. On 30 July 1945, after a high-speed trip to deliver parts for Little Boy, the first atomic bomb used in combat, to the United States air base at Tinian, the ship was torpedoed by the Imperial Japanese Navy submarine I-58 while on her way to the Philippines, sinking in 12 minutes. Of 1,196 crewmen aboard, approximately 300 went down with the ship. The remaining 900 faced exposure, dehydration, saltwater poisoning, and shark attacks while floating with few lifeboats and almost no food or water. The Navy learned of the sinking when survivors were spotted four days later by the crew of a PV-1 Ventura on routine patrol. Only 317 survived.

U.S.S Indianapolis

Needless to say, this was and still is an incredibly tragic moment in U.S. history that should be treated with respect.  So why was Nic Cage chosen to star in this film?  Great question.  And why I am choosing to review this movie in my snarky voice?  Because it’s my duty as an American! (No it’s not). 

I’ll be honest, I’m already pretty excited to watch this movie because it’s been several months since my last Cage experience and the opening credits is like a desert oasis when I saw this…

A FILM BY

MARIO VAN PEEBLES

Jesus take the wheel.  Or should I say helm?  Anyway, on with the show! 

“There will always be war until we kill our own species.”   

With writing like that, I’m shocked this wasn’t a shoe in for an Oscar Meyer hotdog.  Alas, the graphics are horrendous!  It looks like a computer game played on Windows 95.  Already this plot is tough to follow, one minute NC is writing a letter to his wife (I assume), the next we’re following two young seaman on their romantic interludes (unfortunately isn’t not with each other).  Then we switch to a Japanese submarine where of course all the lighting is red (EVIL!) and they’re sacrificing themselves when it doesn’t even seem necessary.  New characters are introduced in practically every scene with “subtle” foreshadowing about sharks, specifically, their rows of sharp teeth and that humans are at the bottom of the food chain when swimming in the ocean.  

Wait, is that Tom Sizemore?  He’s actually looking pretty good (thank you Dr. Drew and Celebrity Rehab) and I’m glad to see he’s still making war movies...even if they star a melted candle in a wig (seriously though, what is going on with Nic Cage’s face??  His complexion looks gray).  

One of the more flattering shots I could find.

And the glorious writing just keeps coming.  “This isn’t a minstrel show..this is the UNITED STATES NAVY.”  Another cutting line from a naval officer.  Seaman are notorious for dicking around at minstrel shows.

Quick side note. I Googled “minstrel shows” and this was the first image that came up:

Apparently this form of entertainment originated in the 19th century and was performed by white people in black face.  Later on, especially after the Civil War, these shows were performed by actual black people.  Did Steve Bannon write this movie?  Maybe NC Skat Cat’s gray bloat-face pays homage to the human trash pile who also served in the Navy:

Fun fact, you’ll find the picture on the left in the dictionary under “Melanoma” 

Well, the Japanese torpedoes finally hit and the U.S.S Indianapolis melts into lackadaisical chaos.  You might be thinking, “But Katie, doesn’t that phrase contradict itself?”  You are correct, however, the actors in this movie make it an art form on par with Method Acting.  It’s a delightful combination of screaming yet jogging, shrieking orders while lazily jumping off the ship.  Is it time for the sharks to arrive?  

Well, the ship is gone, the men are drifting in the water and I wish the sharks would hurry up so I don’t have to listen to this horrendous dialogue.  I’ll be honest, I was zoning out until random people were pulled under.  Oh, and Tom Sizemore’s character is begging for morphine...how appropriate.  The best part of the water scenes is NC rowing his raft with a comically small ore as seen at the beginning of this delightfully dubbed clip: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MoXLSU_s84 

This movie is abysmal.  Each scene lasts a couple of minutes that either depict ridiculous shark attack scenes or late night confessionals by the survivors about their love lives or the afterlife. 

“Do you think it’s luck who lives and who dies? “It was his time.”

Oh. Was it?

But in all seriousness, this event is considered the worst Naval disaster in our nation’s history where hundreds of men lost their lives in terrifying ways.  They were stranded for four days in shark infested waters while their distress calls went unanswered.  So, yeah...kind of a big deal and not surprisingly, this movie and the characters don’t do it justice...at all.   I think the most fitting line of movie was spoken one of the rescuing soldier:

“This is a class A clusterfuck.” 

Indeed.  I need a pallet cleanser (or an enema for my eyes).

So the men are rescued and there’s still about 30 minutes left in the movie and what comes next feels like it should be a different film altogether.  There’s a lot going on:

-One character, nicknamed ‘Bama’ (gross), marries his best friend’s pregnant girlfriend after he dies at sea.

-Some of the surviving soldiers get together to throw a party the night before the trial.  “What trial?” you might ask...

-Nic-y kins is on trial for not “zig zagging as an evasive maneuver” and “failing to abandon ship in a timely manner” (wait what?) aka you weren’t prepared for a possible attack by the Japanese and didn’t react appropriately.  Basically, the military fucked up big time and are trying to throw him under the bus.  As you can see, our military likes to repeat history.  

-OH SHIT!  During the trial the United States Military calls the Captain from the Japanese submarine that attacked the USS Indianapolis.  Slap in the face to Wig Master Cage.  But I think he lied on the stand to help Cage...blooming friendship on the horizon? 

-NOT GULTY...on one count but they found Cage guilty for not zig zagging.  What is going on in this movie.

-Okay I’ll admit, there’s a scene between NC and the Japanese Captain about forgiveness that I actually kind of liked.  

-I take that back because the movie ends with NC shooting himself in the head.  WHY?!

-The most powerful part of this movie is the ending credits.  Two veterans describe the experience of the shark attacks followed by actual footage of the rescue.  So basically the parts that Mario van Peebles had nothing to do with.  

I think it’s pretty clear how I feel about this movie.  Two hours of actors bumbling on screen, desperately trying to recreate and pay homage to a tragic moment and failing miserably.  I don’t recommend this movie to anyone, even if you’re under the influence of anything...weed, alcohol, paint thinner, etc.  That said, I give this movie 1/5 Ragin’ Cageins.

But not everyone feels the same way.  The following 9/10 star review is from scottwolf-26710 on IMBD:

I am wondering whether the people who posted bad reviews saw the same movie as I did, It was historically good , acting fair, story excellent CGI a little cheesy. But overall very entertaining. I studied this incident and knew an old sailor, who helped off load the bomb on Tinian. Maybe the movie didn't have enough sex and foul language for the people who gave it bad reviews.

You might be on to something old Scotty boy.  I would have enjoyed “U.S.S Indianapolis” so much more if there was a budding love story throughout.  Perhaps something like this:

After abandoning his ship, NC is brought to a raft by a shark who, unlike his brothers and sisters, doesn’t see humans as food.  Rather, he feels a strong connection towards them...maybe even love?  

NC is confused himself.  He should hate the sharks, after all, they’re killing his men!  But there’s something about that first shark, the one he believes saved him that night.  Or was it just a dream?  His mind tells him to remember his wife!  But his heart keeps remembering those beautiful, black shark eyes.  

Over the next four days, NC and the shark steal wanting glances and NC even hits the shark with his tiny ore to cover up his true feelings.  NC knows they can never be and the shark understands that if he truly loves this melting wax figure, he should let him go back to his wife.  

During one particularly lonely night, NC spots his savior in the water just below the raft.  The shark swims quietly to the surface- he knows he shouldn’t be here but the connection is too strong.  As the shark breaks the surface, NC simply says “It’s you.”  With that, the two begin a passionate affair lasting until daybreak.  

On the day of the rescue, the sea was extra salty with the lovers’ tears.  As NC sails away, he looks back one last time and says a silent goodbye to the creature who saved his life but stole his heart.  Just before the screen fades to black, he whispers, “In another life.” 

El Fin 

Potential movie poster?

With that dear readers, I end my review of this ghastly film.  Stay tuned for the next post and if you have any requests, please submit in the comments.

Peace, love and wigs xo 

[ragincagein4life]

Pay the Ghost

I’ll be honest, I had hoped to post this review on Halloween but life became hectic and I wasn’t able to prioritize old NC as much as I’d like to.  Anyway, in honor of the holiday, I thought it would be appropriate to cover the 2015 horror movie “Pay the Ghost” starring photoshop and our favorite over the top actor, Wigs McScreamy.  Wonder why I mentioned photoshop?  Please look at this picture from the movie poster:

Yes, McScreamy, I too am confused, specifically because your face looks like a bloated candle...I say that with love.  But I digress...

The movie begins by taking us back to 1679 where we see a group of children, huddled in what looks like a dark cellar while someone (or something!) bangs on the door above them.  Each kid is wearing some sort of animal headpiece that I think are made from the actual animal...so there’s that.  We then hear a woman screaming and the youngest child, who has a crow on his head (gross), cries out “Mother!”.  Oh shit.  Silence.  Then something blows a hole in the cellar door...the children scream!!! And scene.  Roll title.

We’re then transported to Halloween of 2015 where a child, Charlie, wakes up for an unknown reason.  While he walks around his room looking for the source, a shadow appears outside of his window.  He wakes his mother, Kristen, claiming something is outside his window.  Of course, her first thought is he’s having a nightmare...something tells me (literally any horror movie) this is no dream!  It’s about to get reeeaaaalllll.  

Then we’re introduced to NC’s character- a glasses wearing (of course!), sweater vest-loving, professor, with a devastating widows peak named Mike Lawford.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term “widows peak”, it describes a certain hairstyle:

Delightful.  Anyway, he’s late again getting home (to Charlie and Kristen)- what is it with him and playing a distant father?  Is it part of his contract that if he plays some sort of paternal figure, he has to start the movie with ambivalence?  Ugh who knows, either way, “Mike” puts his son to bed and basically guilts his wife into getting busy.  Egads.  

We learn old candle face is a professor of history, or literature, or who cares, and he likes to do dramatic readings that apparently captivates the young adults sitting in the audience.  The camera keeps focusing on young women giving him seductive looks like he’s Indiana Jones.  See below:

That looks is directed at this:

How. Dare. You.  It’s like those Dollar Store (no offense to Dollar Stores) devil horns mean nothing. 

We then cut back to Charlie riding on his scooter in the house.  This scene is basically a rip off of “The Shining” when Danny is riding his big wheels in the hotel hallways.  PS, if you’re looking for a truly wonderful horror movie, pause any NC movie you might having playing and watch “The Shining” immediately.  Nic Cage may be able to scream his lines but a Jack Nicholson he is NOT.  Anyway, Charlie then shows his mom a picture he drew in art class, to which she says, “Charlie, that’s really scary.”  No Kristen, it’s really not.  

Bewwaaarreee of the phantom scribbles oooOOoooOO

Apparently, this is his depiction of what he saw outside of his bedroom window. Charlie, you in danger girl!  Not surprisingly, he doesn’t seem at all concerned that something was lurking outside of his window (even if it does look like a haunted rectangle), he only cares about carving a pumpkin and where his dad is.  Oh Charlie, when will you learn?  Your father will only care if you disappear and/or die.  

Not surprisingly, Mike is late getting home and misses Trick or Treating.  Luckily, there’s a Halloween fair a block away.  Mike convinces Kristen to let him take Charlie to the fair, just for a half an hour.  What could go wrong?  Spoiler: everything.  While they’re on the hunt for ice cream, Charlie see’s a scary spirit and a vulture (?).  The Charlie says, “Dad, can we pay the ghost?”  I can’t.  Mike takes his eyes off of Charlie for a few seconds and when he looks back, Charlie has disappeared!!  And out comes hysterical Nic Cage acting..God bless.  

Kirsten and Mike desperately search for Charlie- they run around the fair calling his name, they call the police, but eventually, they give up for the night.  Mike goes upstairs to Charlie’s room where Charlie appears looking unamused: 

“Why can’t I wear an actual eye patch?” 

Charlie tells Mike to look back out the window where he witnesses what looks like black smoke traveling down the street.  Then a gross looking face pops in the window and I’ll admit it, I jumped. We then flash forward one year (three days until Halloween) to Mike living in a grim apartment, alone.  Guess Kristen is still pissed he lost their kid...

A wall of Mike’s studio is covered in articles, pictures, etc. trying to find any link to Charlie’s disappearance.  We discover that everyone at the police station knows him by name because Mike constantly shows up with ground breaking information, such as names of recently released sex offenders...pretty sure the police have access to that, Mike.  But they won’t listen to him!  Damn it! Don’t the know it’s almost Halloween again?! The day when predators are on the lookout for new victims (according to noted crime expert, Mike)?!?  

And now, I would like to take a moment of silence for Cage’s hair piece. It. Is. Garbage.  

Well, I’m thirty minutes into this film and so far it isn’t too terrible, this is no “Season of the Witch”.  However, for the sake of your sanity (and mine) I’ll do my best to speed my review along:

Odd things start happening to Mike, including “seeing” Charlie on a bus still in his Halloween costume.  Mike chases said bus, catches up, and discovers Charlie isn’t there (duh).

Mike sees the vultures and follows them to an abandoned building with “Pay the Ghost” written on the side in red. Delightful.  Mike enters the abandoned building and discovers a homeless camp downstairs.  He asks around if anyone knows what “Pay the Ghost” means.  A weird moan goes through the camp and a blind guy with dreads shows Mike a wall with “Pay the Ghost” written all over it.  And then Mike leaves.  Cool.

Mike asks Kristen if she thinks Charlie is trying to communicate with them, she freaks out.  

Creepy things start to happen to Kristen, most notably, Charlie’s scooter moving around the house as if he’s riding it.  Now she believes!! 

Using his super sleuth skills, Mike “discovers” that missing New York kids are less likely to be found if they go missing on Halloween.  Therefore, all of these cases could be connected.  Great line of thinking, Mike.  You should go tell the detectives (not). 

He does!! Ugggghhhhh

The main detective shuts Mike down immediately and yet decides that there could be something to his theory.  Okay then.  Detective Dumb Dumb visits parents of missing children and discovers there’s a paranormal link, primarily that kids mention a ghost before disappearing.  I’m starting to take back my thoughts that this movie isn’t terrible.

Mike and Kristen have a romantic dinner alongside weird visions of children.

 I too feel dead inside, little ones.

Kristen goes all in and hires a psychic.  Sadly, the main ghost (I assume) blows in through a window and strangles the psychic while burning her from the inside.  Gross.  

Mike enlists the help of his colleague to figure out the mystery behind the missing children.  Turns out that about 300-ish years ago a woman and her three children were burned at the stake due to their Celtic background.  Not surprisingly, a group of men thought she was the reason the village was having problems because, duh, she’s a woman and she’s from a different culture.  SO BURN HER! (This movie brought to you by Trump 2016...too soon?)

Fun fact: Cage and Trump have the same hair guy...probably.  Hair resembling a tumbleweed IS the look.  

Right before she died, the woman vowed to return each Halloween and take three children with her to the spirit world as a replacement for the children she lost.  I hate this movie.

Okay, now we’re at the end of the film.  Mike realizes the portal to the spirit world, which is only open on Halloween, is located in the decrepit building shown earlier in the movie.  As he and Kristen rush to that building in a taxi, three vultures kamikaze bomb the car causing it to crash!  Luckily, Mike is able to flee the scene making it to the portal just in time (it’s only open until midnight because...of course).  Apparently, only children taken one year prior are able to return to the human world while the portal is open...all the other kids are fucked.  

Mike locates the three children taken last Halloween, including Charlie, and rushes them to the bridge between the two portals.  But before they can safely cross, Mama Ghost swoops in and starts to strangle Mike!  NooOOOooOO said no one.  I’ll be honest, part of me just wanted M.G to finish the job.  Luckily, the spirits of the missing children prevent Mama Ghost from killing Mike, allowing him and the three children (still in their Halloween costumes) to escape across the bridge.  

Mike brings Charlie home to Kristen and they realize Charlie doesn’t remember anything from the last year. He just thinks they’re coming back from the Halloween fair, which okay, I guess you could argue is a good thing but to keep the lie going, Mike and Kristen will have to tell family, friends, colleagues, teachers, etc. to go along with it.  I don’t think Charlie is worth the effort.  Clearly, I’m reading too much into this movie...I blame Cage’s hair!  It’s hypnotizing.  

Anyway, moral of “Pay the Ghost”, if you’re a woman, quit being different- otherwise you’re just asking to be called a witch and we all know how that ends.  Spoiler alert: flames.  

Put your hand down little girl!  A man (boy) is present.  

Despite wanting to strangle NC myself towards the end of the movie, I’m feeling generous so I give this movie 3/5 Ragin’ Cagein’s.  

Yes, it’s tough to get through at times but there are some pretty ridiculous moments, which would be excellent to share with friends and booze.  In essence, if you’re a fan of terrible hair pieces, eye-role-inducing plots, and above all, Nicolas Cage, than I vote next Halloween you sit down with loved ones and a few cocktails (or straight bleach) and watch this turd of a movie.

To conclude this review, I decided to see if I could locate any clips from Nic Cage’s press tour while promoting “Pay the Ghost” and yet again, the internet did not disappoint:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7IfNY_axPU

Oh my dear Cagiekins, never let go of that sweet, sweet delusion. 

Peace, love and wigs xo

[ragincagein4life]

Season of the Witch

More like “Season of the Wigs”.  Yes, I realize I constantly reference Cage’s wig game but I mean look at this:

It looks like Peter Pan’s biggest fan dyed his hair blonde, gave it beach waves, and then slept on it for three days.  What a mess.  But, per usual, I’m in.  Even while I watch a montage of Nic Cage (character name: Behmen...I’m going to call him Wigglet) and Ron Perlman (character name: Felson) bro out 14th century style while murdering thousands of people...I’m in.  Even when the “accents” are all over the place...I. AM. IN! 

After years of killing people during the Crusades, Wigglet suddenly grows a conscious after one particular battle in which innocent women and children are slaughtered (this can’t be the first time he’s witnessed this).  It looks like he’s on the outs with his rag tag band of murdering knights so Felson tries to calm him down by uttering the classic 14th century phrase “Let’s get the hell out of here.”  With that, Wigglet and Felson hit the road towards home.  

Upon arrival, they realize the plague is basically killing everyone but before anything else can happen, Wigglet and Felson are arrested as deserters. It’s crazy they were recognized, especially since Felson transformed himself: 

Before:

After:

Amazing.

After being arrested, the ex Crusading bros were brought to a cardinal aka the fanciest plague victim there ever was.  There they learn the current theory is the Black Witch (no idea who that is) brought the plague from Hell and the only way to eradicate it is to take her to an abbey where monks will read from the last copy of The Book of Solomon.  The fancy plague pants cardinal commands Wigglet and Felson to take the witch because, you know, women are the worst.   

“Schmeeeeeeg”

Wigglet is not feeling it because he's above that life now and doesn’t take orders from the church- just ask his new wig! 

If his wig doesn’t change, does time really pass?

Well, Cardinal Schmeeg isn’t down with rejection so it’s off the dungeon for Felson and Wigglet.  Low and behold, the woman accused of being the Black Witch is sitting in a cell directly across from them.  Shockingly (but not really), the accused is an attractive young woman and for other reasons totally unrelated to her age/looks, Wigglet changes his mind after about two seconds of looking at her.  He decides she couldn’t possibly be a witch because, you know, hot girl, so Wigglet agrees to escort her ONLY IF she receives a fair trial.  Ahh yes, one of those famously fair trials of the Middle Ages you were always hearing about.  And because Felson literally does nothing other than wear hoods and agree with Wigglet, he is IN!

Innocent until proven guilty...said no one in the Middle Ages

To help navigate the journey to the abbey, Wigglet and Felson recruit a criminal who sounds like he’s from modern day New York.  (No time for accents!  A plague is afoot!)  While they’re on their way, Wigglet and crew are followed by a former alter boy with scraggly facial hair looking to join their adventure in return for a knighthood recommendation.  Not sure why he chose a group of deserters for a recommendation but I digress.  Meanwhile, the “witch” (we’ll call her Cartoon Eyes) basically just stares at her captors and then she tells Wigglet she fears for her fate.  He of course promises her she’ll receive a fair trial (why does he believe that??).  Oh, and there are a couple other people in the crew but they’re basically indistinguishable white men with beards- I think one is a knight and one is a priest.

Well, in a TWIST (not really), Cartoon Eyes escapes her cell on wheels by stabbing the priest’s hand with his own cross!  WITCH! WITCH!  They chase her to a mass grave/labyrinth where the other knight hears his daughter’s voice...or is it WITCHCRAFT?  He chases the voice through the labyrinth and unknowingly sneaks up on Scraggle Face who accidentally stabs him.  Uh, oh Spaghetti O’s, alter boy is dust.  Felson then finds Cartoon Eyes in the shadows, she tackles him, Wigglet throws her against the wall, and she begs them not to take her back to the priest (they do).  At this point, you’re pretty sure she’s manipulating the group, specifically Wigglet, but I think we as the audience are supposed to be on the edge of our seats (spoiler: we’re not) wondering if she’s a witch (she is).

The snooze inducing journey to the abby continues and here’s a summary: 

The group has to cross a rickety bridge, which almost collapses but they make it across (honestly, the movie could just end with them all falling off the bridge and I wouldn’t be mad).

Wigglet is still trying to decide if Cartoon Eyes is a witch even though she clearly is but FAIR TRIAL.

The group is attacked by wolves after Cartoon Eyes summons them with a howl (or did she??? She did).  Sadly (but not really) New York accent is lost during the wolf attack.  

Wigglet the tries to kill Cartoon Eyes because we’re to assume he now blames her for the previous deaths.  Don’t worry, Felson changes his mind and convinces Wigglet to stand down. Aaaand the movie continues...

How I feel realizing there’s still 30+ minutes left in the movie

Okay, the crew finally makes it to the abbey where they promptly discover all of the monks are dead from the plague, because, of course.  Weirdly enough, they all died while leaning over desks like their last breaths were taken mid book report or whatever monks do.  Upon this discovery, the priest who traveled with Wigglet and Felson, goes nuts, says prayer is the only answer even though the original plan was just to read out of an old book.  Why someone else just couldn’t do that, remains unclear.  

Luckily, with the encouraging words of Wigglet, “Can’t you just perform the ritual?” the priest is inspired to destroy Cartoon Eyes and with her, the plague (allegedly).  At this point, the fair trial Wigglet kept droning on about has been thrown out the window and he just wants to see things get nasty. Pretty girl tricked him so pretty girl must pay!  While the priest reads a passage to destroy the witch, he soon realizes that Cartoon Eyes is no witch...nay...she is some sort of DEMON!  Using the best graphics (and by that I mean worst) a 40 million dollar movie budget can buy, Cartoon Eyes transforms into her demon form and flies into the abbey.  SNAP!  The priest says it best when he utters, “We’re going to need more holy water.”  Fuck yeah, priest, fuck yeah.

Are we sure this isn’t Ghost Rider?

So, we’ve arrived at what I assume is the big plot twist: the demon (formerly Cartoon Eyes) posed as a witch so it would be taken to the abbey because that’s where The Book of Solomon is located.  Turns out the demon wants to destroy The Book of Solomon to maintain power...or something.  Oh, also apparently tiny demons are possessing the dead monks, causing them to attack Wigglet and friends.  I don’t know, it’s supposed to be a twist but I just don’t care at this point (I may or may not have taken a break and had three cocktails between the wolf scene and now).

This is supposed to be the terrifying demon...it just looks like a woodland fairy on steroids.  This confirms that most of the 40 million dollar budget was spent on wig construction...

During the final battle with the demon, Wigglet, Felson, and the priest are killed but luckily (I guess) the demon is destroyed by The Book of Solomon (read by Scraggle Face).  After the demon bursts into flames, Cartoon Eyes lies naked on the floor, finally free from the demon’s possession.  Thankfully, she’s able to make weird eye contact with Wigglet before he dies (gross).  Scraggle Face (or should I say Sir Scraggle Face because he was knighted by Wigglet) rides off with Cartoon Eyes as she narrates the final scene.  

According to Cartoon Eyes, people just remember the plague dying off like a fever, but weren’t aware of the real sacrifices and lives lost to end this horrible disease.  Bitch please! It’s estimated between 75-200 million people died of the plague...pretty sure they were WELL aware of the lives lost.  

I won’t lie, I went into this movie prepared to give at least 3/5 Ragin Cagein’s, especially because I gave the last two movies 2/5 and I hoped to mix it up.  Alas, I had to watch this movie in about five installments because I was that bored.  I would recommend watching this Nic Cage film only if you’re playing a drinking game throughout. For example. anytime someone uses a terrible English accent, take a shot.  You’ll be dead by minute 20.  With that said, I’ve downgraded “Season of the Witch” to 2/5 Ragin’ Cagein’s:

Although I didn’t enjoy this film, there are people who loved it.  Today’s featured 10/10 IMDB review is by VeganHorseGal:

This movie had me on the edge of my seat! Cage was great as always, he was absolutely gorgeous. He looked so young in this movie. The acting was superb for the whole cast. Well done! I will watch again and again. Hope there is a second, third and so forth. The theatrics were amazing, the sets, horses were factual and I didn't see one Friesian! Which is unusual for movies in this era. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't like this movie. Obviously they didn't see the same movie I did. I am a huge Nicolas Cage fan and hate what his accountant did to him, but his acting has not been affected by it. He is a true star. Nicolas rocks!!

I too am glad there weren’t any Friesians in this film...if I had a dime for every time I had that thought...I’d have zero dimes because that’s a ridiculous thought to have.  PS, for all you none horse peeps out there, here is a Fresian:

It’s possible the film could have secured a Fresian or two had they not spent so much on wigs.  

Well, that wraps up my thoughts on “Season of the Witch”.  

Peace, love and wigs xo

[ragincagein4life]

Left Behind

Oh boy…what a film.  Right out of the gate we’re introduced to some pretty heavy themes: the existence of God, possible infidelity, and surprise, neglecting your family (I’ll give you a clue who is instigating the neglect…he’s wearing a terrible wig and has a weird thing with glasses).  

Nicolas Cage plays Rayford Steele…yes you read that correctly, his name is Rayford, a commercial pilot who wears aviators in the airport, flirts with young flight attendants- specifically one named Hattie, and you guessed it, looks for any excuse not to be home.  He skips out on his surprise birthday party to fly to London and while at the airport, runs into his daughter, Chloe Steele, who after landing herself, just finished arguing with a Bible literalist (with the bad hair) about God, you know, as you do in an airport.  Rayford (I can’t.) and Chloe briefly catch up about life, and by that I mean how she never visits and he’s always gone, the mom/wife has become deeply religious and Chloe would understand if Rayford just left the family.  Typical father-daughter talk.  And Ray-Ray then delivers the following line:

“If she’s going to run off with another man, why not Jesus?”

Yes, Ray Ray.  Why not, indeed.

We’re also introduced to Buck Williams (he goes by Cameron Williams) played by Chad Michael Murray, a weirdly popular reporter who’s constantly asked for his autograph and recognized everywhere he goes.  He’s immediately attracted to Chloe after she challenges Bible Literalist with the bad hair and promises to call from London (yes he’s on Ray Ray’s flight).  

After over thirty minutes of what I guess could be considered plot development (I’ll sum it up: being really religious is bad and don’t stare at little people or offer them assistance- yes it’s that random in the movie), people begin disappearing leaving behind piles of clothes.  Because the theme of religion is as subtle as a freight train, we can safely assume the disappearance has to do with the rapture. 

When the rapture begins, Chloe is at the mall with her younger brother, Ramey, a delightful child whose dream gift is a baseball glove from the airport.  Honestly, this subplot is pretty boring so to summarize: other people go missing along with Ramey, chaos ensues, Chloe is running around, the end.  Back to the plane.

Ray Ray attempts to keep the passengers calm and in their seats by depressurizing the cabin (is that a thing pilots can do??), then he dodges a plane that is on their flight path but it clips the wing, all the while trying to get in contact with air traffic control.  Apparently airport workers- specifically those in charge of flight paths, are among the most innocent and pure of heart (or biggest believers? I’m not sure how it works) because they were all raptured (I don’t know if that’s a verb but I’m using it anyway). 

Meanwhile, the little person in first class suspects the only Muslim onboard is a terrorist (because OF COURSE), one woman thinks she’s on a bad drug trip and shoots up in the bathroom, and Buck Williams is trying to solve the case by filming empty seats with his camera and asking questions such as “Did you hear a bang or see a bright light before people vanished” (a reporter NEVER STOPS).  And I know what you’re all wondering, “How is Cage’s wig game??” to which I’m happy to report- on point!  Even under pressure, every synthetic hair remains in place. 

What’s up guuuurl?  You down to join the mile high club?

Of course, there’s also an Asian nerd onboard who proposes they could have passed through a worm hole into an alternate universe.  Snooze- go back to economy, nerd.  Then Jordan Sparks (yes Jordan Sparks is in this movie) goes nuts after her daughter disappears, claiming someone probably drugged her so the plane could land allowing her NFL playing husband to abduct their child. Oh, and she was able to get a gun on the plane because she starts pointing it wildly around the cabin then turns it on herself, threatening suicide.  BUT WAIT!  Buck Williams has a relatable story in his arsenal about how he found his mother dead from suicide when he was a child (what the deuce is going on??).  Obviously, Sparkles is touched by this story and changes her mind.  If you’re confused by this paragraph, you now have a little taste of how random this movie is.  

Hattie wondering how she was fooled into believing Ray Ray’s hair was real…oh yeah, and realizing he lied about being married.  Woops!

Eventually, Ray Ray gets in contact with Chloe (who is about to jump off a bridge- what is it with this movie and suicide?) telling her that he’s alive but the plane is running out of fuel.  Lucky for Ray Ray, Chloe apparently has years of experience riding motorcycles and is able to locate one, allowing her to get to an abandoned construction site with just enough room to be an impromptu runway- what are the odds??  As tension builds (not really) and the fate of all the passengers (who cares) rests in Ray Ray’s likely sweaty hands, he lands the plane safely.  He even avoids a random tank of gasoline and a semi truck full of hazardous waste (what kind of construction zone is this??).  

The movie ends with Chloe reuniting with Buck and Ray Ray and while they hold hands, staring into the distance, they realize that everything is about to get worse because they were left behind to face God’s wrath (or Satan’s wrath?  Again..I’m not sure how this is supposed to work).  So really, it might have been for the best if Chloe jumped off the bridge and the plane exploded mid-flight.

Honestly, I was hoping for more when I started watching this movie but it failed to deliver the gloriously horrendous dialogue and hilarious character development I’ve come to expect from his films.  Specifically, NC didn’t scream nearly enough of his lines.  That said, I give this movie 2/5 Ragin’ Cagein’s:

Instead of researching 10/10 reviews on IMDB, I decided to see if I could find any Nic Cage interviews during his press tour to promote this turd of a film.  It’s as though my prayers were answered because not only is there an interview, it’s conducted on Fox News:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzYl7_Mt-sI

Okay, a few things:

1. I wasn’t aware this movie is a remake of the Left Behind trilogy starring Kirk Cameron (gross- if you don’t know who he is, look him up.), which is based on a series of Christian novels.  That explains a lot.

2. Willie Robinson from Duck Dynasty is a executive producer on this “film”?! I’m shocked they didn’t include a scene of a gay teenager realizing he was just choosing to be gay all along.  

3. Apparently Nic Cage likes to make movies that “stimulates conversation.”  Mission accomplished.  

Well, that wraps up my review of “Left Behind” and even though I usually recommend watching Nic Cage movies while drinking with friends, you can go ahead and skip this one.  But before I go, I’ll leave you with the saddest birthday picture I’ve ever seen, brought to you by Kirk Cameron:

Again, look up Kirk Cameron if you’re not familiar with him.  He doesn’t deserve those foot longs!  And the lady in the doorway knows what’s up:

Peace, love and wigs xo

[ragincagein4life]

Trespass...

...or as I like to call it “Yelling with Wigs” because that pretty much sums up this movie.  For what feels like five days but is really only 90 minutes, Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman scream at intruders and each other while their wigs/extensions hold on for dear life.  

I couldn’t agree more Cagey-kins.  Also, can someone confirm that his glasses actually have lenses?  I’m 80% sure he’s just wearing frames, like a child playing dress-up or a poorly aging hipster.

Anyway, back to Trespass.  We open on Nicolas Cage’s character, Kyle Miller, driving on what appears to be a country road while talking business accompanied with shots of a briefcase because BUSINESS.  It’s clear we need to understand he’s a very important/successful BUSINESSman who more than likely has very little time for silly matters like being a good husband and raising his child(ren).  

Kyle Miller arrives home to his arguing wife (played by a frozen-faced Nicole Kidman) and daughter (played by It Doesn’t Matter) and our initial thought is confirmed: his daughter can’t stand the mother (or boundaries! But why can’t she go to the party???!), he and his wife have no relationship (I blame the rose tinted glasses- see below), and Kyle’s priority is his diamond business (because of course he has an ambiguous job in diamond sales), not his family.

“Yes...diamonds...tell me more.” 

Long story short, Nicole Kidman (character name: Sarah) dresses up to serve Kyle dinner (what?), only to be rejected per usual, Kyle needs to leave again because his diamonds are calling, and their daughter sneaks out of the house to go to a party with her friend who we learn is “fast” with the boys (why is that part of the story?).  But before Kyle can flee from Sarah, who has a personality of boiled broccoli, they’re held hostage by intruders posing as security guards!  

You might be wondering, who are these masked men and why did they choose to hold Kyle and Sarah hostage?  Well, I wish I could answer that for you but at this point in the movie, there has been zero introduction as to who these people are and why they’re breaking into the Miller house.  Oh, and the group of intruders includes three men and one woman who spends the entire time crying, watching baby videos of Kyle and Sarah’s daughter, and smoking crack or meth- I don’t know she’s an addict okay??! 

Hold on wigs!!

For the next 40 minutes (or five hours, or three days- time is suspended in this movie and not in a good way) we’re taken on a wild ride where we learn the main thief (who looks like if Chris Parnell and Gary Oldman had a baby) needs money to pay back a drug dealer so he and his girlfriend (old Weepy McCrackpipe) won’t be killed, hot thief kissed Sarah (Volchock for you O.C. fans) when she thought he was just a repair man but was not into it, the daughter is held hostage when she returns from the party, and Kyle reveals he’s allegedly broke after opening an empty safe.  

Well, as you can imagine an empty safe and empty excuses won’t do! So the robbers shift from wanting to kill Kyle for his life insurance to having the daughter steal money from the rich kids at the party.  And by the way, hot thief apparently has psychosis but his doctor prescribed him tic tacs in a bottle...anyway he starts having a mental health crisis in the middle of all this.

Shirtless hot thief brought to you by a meaningless movie flashback.  Also, sweet tank, Sarah.

With about 20 minutes (or 10 hours) to spare, the movie cranks up the heat from simmer to lukewarm.  The main thief (Gary Oldman- Chris Parnell mash up) is killed by hot thief (also his brother), Kyle actually has money that he stored in the wall of a remodeled part of the house, the daughter seriously injures or kills Weepy McCrackpipe (we learn her name is Petal...what??) in a car crash and returns for her parents, hot thief is obsessed with Sarah and wants to run away with her, Kyle sets the remodeled room and money on fire, and then ends up shooting hot thief who then falls in said fire.  The movie ends with Kyle, Sarah, and Who Cares laying in a dog pile on the lawn, the house burning up (along with some of my self-respect) in the background, and sirens wailing in the distance, signaling long awaited help.  

Moral of the story, don’t wear tinted glasses and a bad wig because the universe will punish you and your family.  

Although this movie had some of the best/worst lines I’ve ever heard on screen, the plot made zero sense, too many actors screamed their lines, and I know I’ve already said this but it bares repeating, ROSE TINTED GLASSES.  That said, I give this movie 2/5 Ragin’ Cagein’s:

While I didn’t particularly enjoy this movie experience, there are people out there who loved it- so much so they gave it 10/10 stars on IMDB.  VirtualSurf writes 

Trespass is good. The last 60 minutes are much better since I can see more of Cam Gigandet [hot thief]. Cam's role is indeed the most interesting. His performance is the most captivating and touching. He plays that likable and psychotic bad boy so well. At the end, his being engulfed in flames is painfully disturbing. I almost want to jump into the flames and die with him. He is the one who saves Nicholas and Nicole's lives, but Nicholas ends up killing Cam ('s character). A better end would be: Nicholas not burning his own house and money, and let Cam take some of the money and run away. It's against rational story telling, but I actually like to see Nicole run away with Cam. They are so cute together. I love to see more shirtless and sexy scenes of Cam, and more love scenes of Cam and Nicole.

Well said VitalSurf, well said.  

That wraps up my first Nicolas Cage movie review.  To anyone still reading, thank you and stay tuned for another review/ Nicky-poo news!

Peace, love and wigs xo

[ragincagein4life]

Welcome Friends

Have you ever watched a movie and wondered, “What the deuce am I watching?”  Or, “This movie is so ridiculous I feel nauseous and enthralled at same the time”? If your answer to either of these questions is no, I strongly suggest you watch any Nicolas Cage movie from the 1990′s up.  Now, I’m not sitting here criticizing old NC- rather, I’m thanking him.  His movies have brought me hours of entertainment; I’ve laughed, I’ve groaned, at times I’ve wished I could get back the two hours of my life I spent watching one of his performances. 

You might be wondering why I’ve created a blog dedicated to this particular actor.  Besides having a love-hate relationship with his movies, I’m genuinely fascinated by Nicolas Cage.  His performances are consistently over the top, his movie selections are all over the board, and his hair situation keeps me on the edge of my seat. Oh, and he gave birth to this human being: 

The glorious Weston Cage

My hope is that anyone who reads this blog can laugh along at the ridiculousness of Nicolas Cage movies while appreciating the art of films so terrible, they cross over into the realm of genius...okay maybe not genius but you get what I mean...maybe.

So sit back, relax, and join me on a magical journey where our companion is a 52 year old actor who once did mushrooms with his cat.  To be fair, it was the polite thing to do: 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2010/jul/15/lost-in-showbiz-nicolas-cage