What’s Today?!

Incorrect quotes, memes, & a sprinkle of my life.

[marisatomay]

Did you see the moon is wet?? I think that's why people aren't handling things well

i found out like this

[f1rstperson]

I went to look this up and this was the first article

[goodzillo-deactivated20220127]

Love that everyone collectively and without words agreed to not be normal about this

[raging-bi-87]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Me: *hits blunt* how does the ice machine in a fridge work?

My mom: please stop

Me: no seriously we use the ice and then poof there’s more ice like what?

*two weeks later*

Me: I’ve decided it’s witchcraft

[kyleehenke]

hey do you have a tumblr

no sorry

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you don’t have a tumblr 

[raging-bi-87]

Mabel: there’s only one thing worse than “disappearing”

Mabel: *rips off paper to reveal “dipper disappearing”

Mabel: boom

Pacifica: dipper

Mabel: NO

[raging-bi-87]

Mabel: why is that kid blank

Dipper: you know tattoos don’t transfer from parent to child right?

[raging-bi-87]

Dipper: are you crying?

Mabel: no I’m having an allergic reaction

Dipper, panicking: to what?!

Mabel, sobbing harder: life

[raging-bi-87]

Dipper: everyone synchronize your watches

Ford: I do not know how to do that

Stan: I don’t wear a watch

Mabel: time is a construct

[raging-bi-87]

Stan: why would you give Mabel a knife?

Ford: she felt unsafe

Stan: well now I feel unsafe

Ford: I’m sorry

Ford:

Ford: would you like a knife?

[raging-bi-87]

Pacifica, about the pines family: y’all are all so dumb. It’s like all of you share one brain cell.

Dipper: *can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not his turn to use the braincell*

[raging-bi-87]

Mabel: you’re an idiot!

Dipper: I’m sure you’re right but why?!

[raging-bi-87]

Ford: that information is classified.

Stan: god Ford just tell us what you want for your birthday.

[raging-bi-87]

Mabel: what are we doing?

Dipper: wasting our lives

Mabel: I meant for lunch

[raging-bi-87]

Dipper: you know those moments when I tell you something isn’t a good idea?

Mabel: and then I ignore you? yeah

[raging-bi-87]

Dipper: you call it a near death experience...

Mabel: we call it a vibe check from god

Ford: *eye twitches*

[raging-bi-87]

*Mabel starting a YouTube channel*

Mabel: Hi friends! Welcome to Mabel’s guide to everything.

Mabel: today we are looking at glitter, specifically can you eat it?

Mabel: *pulls glitter out of pocket* *stuffs glitter in mouth* *chokes on glitter*

Mabel: in all *cough cough* glitter tastes delicious *cough cough* would I recommend eating it?

Mabel: yes. Yes I would

[raging-bi-87]

Kidnapper: We have your kid.

Stan: Which one?

Kidnapper: Um... brunette, feisty, has glitter pouring out of the pockets and somehow... oh my god the glitter keeps coming

Stan: Oh! You mean Mabel, yeah you don’t have her... she has you.

[raging-bi-87]

Ford: nothing in life is free

Dipper: adventure is free

Wendy: life is free

Mabel: love is free

Stan: everything in life is free if you take it without paying