Rei

I don't need your oπnion. The FBI agents watching me always: 1. Get fired for going insane, or 2. Quit. I know because I'M 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙄𝙍 FBI AGENT

[ragulopan]

I'm just gunna say it.

Brock from Adventure Bros is just the Yo Mama guy and Hank from Adventure Bros is just Fred Jones

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How the fuck did it get up here

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Did Ms. Frizzle steal the mushrooms?? We'll never know!

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I'm at a hospital and sOMEONE PUT A CUBICLE AROUND A HAND SANITIZER DISPENSER

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I was friends with (Or in a gay relationship with) Klaus from The Umbrella Academy but we were in trouble with the police cuz we kept murdering people and such.

So at one point he gets arrested and I go to see him and I get arrested too.

I'm like "yo wtf" until they put me in a cell with him.

He's in an orange jumpsuit with cuffs all the time and he knows the place like he's been there for YEARS

He keeps referring to the horrible things that happen and then brings me to where they happen, and sometimes I saw the torture right in front of my eyes. Some of the staff know Klaus very well and have become his friends, apparently. At the end I'm talking to some lady with a fancy brown rag dress and red hair and then she fades away. I turn to Klaus and he fades away too. I realize they were all dead.

Then I woke up

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Is it just me... Or is the smell of weed like.... Naturally nostalgic? Even if you've never smelled it, you remember someone your dad knew or some shit

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So I accidentally called Hi-C "HIV" today

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What if "Homie" isn't Homer's nickname Marge gave him and Marge just uses gangster language

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Me to my brother: I will personally peel off all your skin and feed it to you

Him: Feed it to me? I'll just regrow it.

Me: *unearthly screaming*

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"Is it just me or are pirates just hobos with earrings?"

...This lights a fiery rage deep within me.

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Sheriff: "No admittance! this is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started."

Scooby: "You're showing them a movie?"

Shaggy: "Yeah, aren't they like, magically frozen with gnome-y magic?"

Sheriff: "I already saw the movie, believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in"

I'M SORRY WHAT--

THIS SHOW IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME

P.S: The guy who does the voice of the sheriff is the voice actor of Joe from Family Guy.

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Daphne: "MOM! Your vampiring is tearing this family apart! I'm sorry but you've left me no choice! I'm going to have to stake you!!"

[ragulopan]

"Is it just me or are pirates just hobos with earrings?"

...This lights a fiery rage deep within me.

[ragulopan]

Sheriff: "No admittance! this is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started."

Scooby: "You're showing them a movie?"

Shaggy: "Yeah, aren't they like, magically frozen with gnome-y magic?"

Sheriff: "I already saw the movie, believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in"

I'M SORRY WHAT--

THIS SHOW IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME

P.S: The guy who does the voice of the sheriff is the voice actor of Joe from Family Guy.

[ragulopan]

"Is it just me or are pirates just hobos with earrings?"

...This lights a fiery rage deep within me.

[ragulopan]

"Son," The king said, resting his hands upon my shoulders. "Isth thou of the homos?"

"Yes, father." I replied. "But of course."

I had noteth known his intentions, therefore I feared.

There waseth a kingdom next to ours that hadeth a prince, but no nearby kingdoms hadeth a princess.

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WHO THE FUCK IS WILLIAM AND WHATS UP WITH HIM SHAKING FUCKING PEARS??

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*screenshots a Tumblr meme and posts it instead of reblogging*

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You do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about

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*shuffles on Spotify*

My Trains by Lemon Demon: GUNNA SHOW YOU MY BEAUTIFUL BASEMENT

*skips*

Weak by AJR: No thank you-