Our Journey to a Rainbow

C & M: 2014 👼🏼: 11/17/2016 @ 17 weeks 🌈: 7/23/17 @ 26 weeks

[behind-the-student]

My therapist: you need to trust yourself

[beardedchrisevans]

[sekhmetic]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[rainbow-mama]

I.. Just.. what? How is my little peanut this huge? I am making a literal heart eye face right now.

[spicymemesociety]

[gahdamnpunk]

Men really think that women’s liberation is about whether or not we let them view our bodies lmao

[rainbow-mama]

I talked to my grandma on the way to my therapist and she asked where I was going so I told her “to see my therapist” because I don’t really care about people knowing.. more people should talk about it to normalize it. Anyways, her parting words to me were, “chin up dear, I know you can do it!” She is hilarious and so, so sweet at the same time. I miss her so much. 😍

[van-dyne]

me: *staring out the window* 

friend: hey, what are you thinking about?

me:

[gahdamnpunk]

ALL OF THIS ^^^^

Stop making women carry your emotional baggage!

[rainbow-mama]

No idea what the hell is going on

But F decided he wasn’t going to bed last night, and then when I finally got him settled he would only sleep for short bursts despite being obviously exhausted. Now today he is refusing to nap and of course it’s on a day M has a faculty meeting so he’s not here to step in and help. 

[rainbow-mama]

This is my first night without Felix home &

It feels really weird. He is spending the night with my mom and from what I’ve heard took to it well. I miss him like crazy, but at the same time I am very much looking forward to lying in bed and not having to get up tomorrow. F will be 2 in July and this is the first ever night I’ve spent away from him. I had major anxiety leading up to it, but feel slightly better now. It is something I need to talk to my therapist about tomorrow because I’m not sure what it is that freaks me out. Obviously I know my mother can take care of a child.. I am here.. so I don’t get it. I think it’s more related to something possibly happening to him and not being able to be there to help him. Who knows..

[baby-yoda]

i’m upset 3000

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

That time of night as an adult where you’re desperately tired and want to sleep but you also don’t want to give up the day yet bc there’s stuff you wanna do. I’m calling it the toddler hour

[knitbelove]

This post came into my bedroom and punched me in the face

[coach-taylor]

[pacificwanderer]

My fucking hero forever.

[rainbow-mama]

I have my first meet with a therapist today and I have major anxiety about it. I should have gone long ago, right after we lost Rowan, but I thought I could get through it on my own. Then all the drama of almost losing Felix and his first three months alive being in the NICU and then this last lost.. I just feel defeated. I have been on Zoloft for over a year for post partum depression. It makes me feel better, but after a couple weeks of taking it I can’t sleep at all so I usually end up stopping. I’m so worried I’m just going to end up crying then entire hour. The thought of telling a stranger all of the worst things that have happened really freaks me out. She specializes in trauma, anxiety, post partum, etc so it seems like a perfect fit. Today is a first meeting just to make sure we match well.

[pulpfiction]

i googled “why do cats run around and meow at night” and one of the results listed this as a cause: