I drew some purple whatevers
I KNOW I HAVENT BLOGGED IN LIKE A YEAR BUT LOOK AT MY TWO FAVOURITE BABIES
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

shark vs the universe
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almost home

Love Begins
Keni
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Kiana Khansmith
Xuebing Du
$LAYYYTER

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Misplaced Lens Cap

Andulka
DEAR READER
will byers stan first human second
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JBB: An Artblog!
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@raincloudsplusrainbows
I drew some purple whatevers
I KNOW I HAVENT BLOGGED IN LIKE A YEAR BUT LOOK AT MY TWO FAVOURITE BABIES
I think the biggest german discussion is when you meet someone from a different area in Germany and they call things differently and you are just like “nooooo that is not what it’s name is!!!” But the other person just won’t see your point because they think the same you think. Friendship can break over this folks.
Story time: The other day my friend and I got into a discussion about gender pronouns for various german words, such as butter, nutella or schorle (a schorle is usually drink made of water mixed with juice or something). Anyhow, she is from NRW, I am from Ba-Wü. She wanted to convince me it’s die butter, die nutella und die schorle (all female). Where I come from, it’s der butter (male), das nutella (neutral) und das schorle (also neutral) however. It turned into a somewhat heated discussion in public, so much so that even strangers that were walking past us had to chime in and put in their two cents. It turned into a huge ass discussion with like 3 strangers, so lemme tell ya, Germans are very passionate about dialects.
the worst one is definitely people from NRW saying “Sose” instead of “Soße”. i’m literally ready to kill whenever i hear Sose.
Why you’re all coming for us in NRW like that especially when you say fucked up shit like der Butter and das Schorle?! That’s just so wrong! I never ever heard that in my life? Is it really what you say down there? Lmao 😂😂 That reminds me of the time I found out all of Germany calls Berliner Berliner except Berlins population. They’re called Pfannkuchen there! Why??
“Der Butter” broke my heart and made me cry tbh. Please don’t do this!
Als ob Leute “das Schorle” sagen, wie kann man der Schorle das nur an tun.
It is obviously die Butter (feminine), das Nutella (neuter), und die Schorle (feminine).
Everyone else can go home and think about about they did wrong in life that led them to such great lapses in judgement.
okay FIRST of all, it’s not Berliner everywhere in Germany, because Bavarians are actually civilised and call them Krapfen so kindly fuck off. (and NO those tiny little fried dough thingies are NOT Krapfen, those are Schmalzkuchen, so jot that down. And also, really Berlin? we ALL know Pfannkuchen are pancakes, learn some manners please)
also ofc it’s das Nutella and die Schorle, you animals. I’m torn on butter because I say die, but parts of my family say der, so I’m okay with that as long as you don’t say das
and if we’re on the topic already, will the rest of Germany PLEASE finally accept that it’s die Breze (or Brez’n if you’re feeling fancy) and NOT BrezeL. We invented the damn things so we get to PICK THE FUCKING NAME jfc
also anyone who calls rolls anything but Semmel is a dumbass.
I am with @tracomalfoy here
@the-real-heinz-christian-strache suling und oulfoan
Why would you say “der Butter”, stop abusing our poor language like that, you heathen. It’s die Butter, die Schorle and DIE(!!!) Nutella. Also, Krapfen are little fried dough balls with powdered sugar, Pfannkuchen are bigger and filled with jam, and Eierkuchen are what you bake in a pan at home. And 11:45 is dreiviertel Zwölf.
I’ve never seen/heard Austrians arguing like that among ourselves - I think we, with all our dialects, are all united in the knowledge that The Germans Are Wrong.
Like … what are you even talking about here with your Berliner and Pfannkuchen and Schmalzkuchen and Krapfen and Eierkuchen and… what? There are Krapfen and there are Palatschinken, and those two things are nothing like each other, what is even going on in Germany?
And Schorle is a weird word, it’s a gspritzter [fruit of your choice]saft. (Not just a Gspritzter, that would be wine, not juice).
I’m extremely amused that this entire conversation is happening in English.
So basically what you’re telling me is that I can stop worrying about figuring out when to use die das and der bc it’s different all over Germany anyway?
Right. I have now given up my aspirations of learning German.
I object to the part of this post that says that Bavarians are civilised. Also Austrians get off your high horse you’re two cents from bankrupt and call potatoes “earth-apples”.
Manchmal sieht man Narben auch an anderen Leuten. Z.B. an der Kassiererin deren Ärmel ein Stückchen hochgerutscht ist. Und dann sieht man nicht mehr nur eine Fremde, man sieht eine Person die genauso viel Mist erlebt hat wie man selber. Man sieht, dass man nicht allein ist.
Freundin: Was ist das??
Ich: Das war meine Katze.
Freundin: Du hast keine Katze!
Ich: Dann war es vielleicht auch nicht meine Katze.
So, fine.
Everything is supposed to be perfect, except it isn’t.
Everything is great, except my life is still my life and film endings don’t exist and I don’t have the heart to tell people that things aren’t going as well as they think, but more than that, no one understands. That’s the worst bit, this isolation: I don’t tell the people I love that I’m developing an eating disorder, that it was noteworthy that I ate more than one meal today, that I desperately want to talk to people but I also want to tell the world to just fuck off because I don’t want affection, I don’t want hugs, I don’t want sympathy and I definitely don’t want any fucking one telling me about the positives of my own life, trying to point out the happy things or the good things or what I have to look forward to, because guess fucking what? I already know, and I don’t give a shit, because sometimes you’re upset, and that’s that, and sometimes you don’t tell people because actually, fuck it, I have a very good reason for being upset and wanting to shut myself off. I have no idea what I’m going to do for Christmas. I still haven’t talked to FUCKING ANYONE about the time I spent in the psych ward. Or, in fact, the events leading up to it. I keep remembering things I left behind that will now be in a skip, because I couldn’t save my things fast enough. I keep remembering I have no idea how I’ll even see my friends in London and who I’ll stay with that I can actually hack staying with and I hate the fact that every time I buy something I think about whether I need it and usually don’t buy it because I know how much it will hurt to throw it away because guess what, guys? Binning your life HURTS. I’m justified in being angry, and I don’t want to be told otherwise. But mainly, I just want to tell the world to fuck right off, and that it didn’t care and if it does, it doesn’t know what to say, so just leave. My old life is disappearing like grains of sand through my fingers. I hate everything. I can’t keep pretending I’m the same person and nothing’s happened.
well, well, well
how did mr eaten do on his most recent exam?
well.
how do you know mr eaten is a men’s rights activist?
because of the well, actually.
how does mr eaten like his steak?
well done.
how do you know mr eaten is still a capitalist space bat?
his favorite book is the well-th of nations.
what does the card mr veils sends mr eaten on his birthday say?
get well soon.
what’s mr eaten’s favorite aspect of programming?
he likes to ensure things are well-defined.
why does mr eaten spend so much money on his car?
he likes to keep it well-oiled.
where does mr eaten keep his money?
wells fargo.
what’s mr eaten’s favorite play?
all’s well that ends well.
why do people seek the name?
because they’re concerned for their well-being.
what’s mr eaten’s first language?
welsh.
what happens when mr eaten gets sad?
the tears well up.
1920s Slang we should bring back for the 2020s:
Dewdropper: A lazy person
Giggle water: Alcohol, liquor
Bee's Knees: An extraordinary person/thing/idea
Butt me: "Can I have a cigarette?"
Cat's Pajamas: See "bee's knees"
Dolled up: Dressed up
Egg: A rich person
Flapper: A stylish, opinionated modern woman
Get a Wiggle On: Get going
Heebie-Jeebies: A spooked feeling
Ossified: Someone who is drunk
Putting on the Ritz: Doing something with style
Swell: Wonderful.
Freundin: Was ist das??
Ich: Das war meine Katze.
Freundin: Du hast keine Katze!
Ich: Dann war es vielleicht auch nicht meine Katze.
Es gibt keinen anderen Weg…
Manchmal fuehle ich genau so. Ich will kein Schmerz mehr, ich will immer Gluecklich zu fuhlen. Meine Mutter will sterben, da ich ihr so viel Sorge macht. Ich esse im Moment viel zu wenig und ich will Ritzen, aber keine kann mir hilfen. Aber ich hab Angst vor Tod, und zu vielen Leute wird mich vermissen.
Ich fuehle mich immer schlecht, aber hab doch bald Pruefungen und mussen mein Hausaufgaben machen und Lebensmittel kaufen und mit meinen Mutter leben. Es geht einfach nicht, aber ich muss es irgendwie schaffen.
mother's day reminder
as mother’s day approaches, please remember that not everyone has a healthy, stable relationship with their mom, and posts that say “if you don’t love your mom you’re a terrible person” and “you’re pretty heartless if you don’t tell your mom you love her on mother’s day” are really emotionally manipulative and akin to guilt tripping. so please be mindful of what you post/reblog this mother’s day!
*laughs disproportionate amount*
I PROMISE you that every single depressed person has been told to exercise already, you are never ever ever going to be the first person to suggest that to any depressed person ever.
i started working out to feel less sad, but it just made me sad with great forearms
THIS THIS THIS I HAVE NO ENERGY NO MONEY AND NO TIME, TRUST ME I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY OF EXERCISING BUT THESE THINGS CALLED A LEVELS REALLY MEAN IT'S NOT EASY. It costs a fiver to go swimming and it's freezing outside to jog and I have lessons after school every day and don't want to use the school gym. Pleaseeee stop telling me to exercise like it will be a magic fix. I am working on it.
Hi, I'm auditioning for the role of Richard Dawkins, and I'll be singing 'Take Me To Church' by Hozier.
Antidepressants are:
✔ A type of medication designed to make you feel better when ill. Just like any other medicine
✔ Your own choice whether to take or not.
Antidepressants are not:
✘ Scary personality-altering drugs
✘ A sign of weakness
✘ A moral issue.
✘ A source of ‘artificial’ happiness
✘ Anyone’s business but your own.