???

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm like a plant in the way that I need water and sunlight and that if someone takes care of me I can get quite fruity

[rainenightshade]

I’m like a plant the way I generate energy through photosynthesis

[rainenightshade]

“Naan” and “gone” rhyme and this is why I can’t spell for sh*t!

[rainenightshade]

In other news I’m out of naan

[houseofcucci]

Stop saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I’ve got my eye on one specific, emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues

[beggars-opera]

I'm personally after the white whale that took my leg

[loubuttons]

I also want the whale that took this guys leg

[beggars-opera]

Not amab or afab, but a secret third thing. Hmm what could we call it

[circular-k]

sorry if you've already gotten this @plaguedocboi

[rainenightshade]

“Naan” and “gone” rhyme and this is why I can’t spell for sh*t!

[breadmantm]

I was talking with a friend. I tried to say mort from Madagascar but I said mort from the Magnus archives. And then this happened

If I had to make it you have to see it

[breadmantm]

Hello demons it’s me, ya boy

I have sinned again but this time it’s tumblers fault

[zathebooknerd]

@rainenightshade

[rainenightshade]

I resent how much I love this

[i-am-a-fish]

the average tumblr user will see this post. they will feel compelled to open up the comments. when they do this they'll see that nearly every comment written is identical.

they all say "Man, I sure do love the hivemind".

with that exact same punctuation and capitalization.

upon scrolling further they might find comments that do not say this.

they will be compelled to reply to that comment with the word "Anomaly". and nothing more.

[rainenightshade]

I’m watching The Nightmare Before Christmas

I didn’t know the fucking US MILITARY got involved in this!!!

I was just watching a spooky silly little movie about fantastical and creepy fictional creatures and now there are TANKS?!?!?

[farmer-attorney-at-law]

It's too late, Odin. Your train has been fucked.

[redstonedust]

if you abandon gender hard enough you can unlock the secret state of nirvana where all clothes give you the thrill of crossdressing

[rainenightshade]

Can confirm

[koikoi67]

god I hate this

[dorykinny]

Rip stanley you would have loved Avon

[rainenightshade]

Are there like… do you think there are homophobic people on Tumblr?

Like I’m sure there must be but I just can’t picture it

[rainenightshade]

SAIKI K IS AROACE AND I WILL NOT HEAR ANYTHING TO THE CONTRARY!!!!!!!!!!

(yes this is targeted)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

alternatives to "ladies and gentlemen"

cads and wastrels

fellow scoundrels

ladies, gentlemen, and interesting miscellanea

beloved friends & tolerated acquaintances

entities of interest

paying audience members & assorted freeloaders

the fbi's most and least wanted

discerning guests & those of you with fuck all else to do on a tuesday evening

esteemed gutter filth

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

more from the notes

welcome friends and enemies

ladies, gentlemen, and others

scalliwags and roustebouts

all ya'lls

sworn nemeses and esteemed henchpersons

mommy bloggers and twitter dads

friends, family, and freeloaders

allies, enemies, and those I'm still deciding about

a warm welcome to everyone who managed to sneak past the guards

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

first day at college chem lab and your TA opens with this

[jackyjackdraws]

I got this idea at 3am.

No, I won't elaborate further

[headspace-hotel]

[gemsandjunk]

the two types of billford content