I will Heal

A blog for my comfort and a space to vent about depression, post angst, and how my f/os help me through. Interacts from Rain-Selfships

[rapidpunches]

"SURVIVING"

[rainy-days-comfort]

I just want someone to tell me they will always love me

I want someone to promise that they aren't going anywhere, even if it's hard for me to believe. Even if in difficult. Everyone always leaves. But even if it's a lie I just. Need to hear it so bad.

I wish my brain would function normally and that I could stop feeling so fucking broken and afraid and alone all the time

Nothing is okay

Nothing nothing nothing

I want to die

[rainy-days-comfort]

Every day I hate myself more and more

Every day I wish I could bash my head so hard that it jolts whatever is wrong with my brain and I can finally be a normal fucking person who isn't so terrified of being left that they're having their third breakdown this week

[rainy-days-comfort]

Nobody is obligated to talk to me, I need to remember that. I have to actually be interesting for people to want to talk to me, and I'm just... Not that. Spending a while alone won't kill me. I've got to face my fears of being alone sometime or another, and I guess now is as good a time as any. Just pretend that I can handle it, and maybe I'll find that I can.

I'm just so scared of being left alone

[rainy-days-comfort]

I feel like I do not belong anywhere

[rainy-days-comfort]

How lomg an I going to live like thiss

[rainy-days-comfort]

I'm just. Meant to be alone

[rainy-days-comfort]

My brain is screaming and I don't like it

I don't like this

I was doing so good

Now everything hurts

[rainy-days-comfort]

My anxiety is so high, I feel so useless, I just want to be worth something

[rainy-days-comfort]

I'm not even good enough for someone fictional to love.

Fuck

Fuck!!

[rainy-days-comfort]

I feel dead

I want to hit things

I want to hurt myself

Maybe that will make this pain go away

Maybe that will change something

[rainy-days-comfort]

I feel like I want to scream, but nobody will hear me

[rainy-days-comfort]

I've already cried all day, I might as well cry myself to sleep too, sure

[rainy-days-comfort]

Will I ever feel okay again? I'm going to be broken forever

[rainy-days-comfort]

I can't stop crying this is so fucking embarrassing I want to go home

[rainy-days-comfort]

I dont want to have a future. I dont want to be hurt anymore

I'm so scared of what the future will bring. Of all the people who will leave me. Of all the ways I'll be left behind

I'm so scared to live and to let myself get attached to people who will leave me again

Dont leave me. Please please dont leave me again

[rainy-days-comfort]

I'm too fucked in the head to live