Raised by a BPD Mother

Navigating life as the daughter of a borderline mom ・I am not a therapist! This is mostly a vent account.

[raisedbybpd]

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a therapist. I created this blog as a means to vent about my experiences and hopefully connect with other people who were also raised by untreated BPD parents.

This isn't a safe space for individuals with BPD. If you are a Borderline yourself, you will not find any comfort, or relatable content in this blog. Everything discussed here stems from my own personal trauma and is catered towards other people who have also suffered similarly, so keep in mind that I will not be discussing the disorder from a professional's perspective, but rather from the biased point of view of a victim of emotional and physical abuse.

Again, everything discussed here is greatly personal. This blog is just an outlet for all those things I felt growing up and nobody in my life could understand.

If you happen to relate to what I have to share, then consider yourself hugged; You are not alone. ❤︎‬

[catsofyore]

Fairy puff! Postcard from my collection, mailed 1912.

[raisedbybpd]

growing up i secretly wished mom would just hit me real bad so i had a legitimate reason for not wanting to be around her anymore— maybe if i showed up with a black eye people would actually believe that i had an abusive parent. maybe i was also trying to convince myself that i wasn't a bad daughter for harboring so much resentment for the things she put me through.

but then it finally happened and it did nothing to convince my family. i wasn't special for being assaulted by my own mother— she did that to everyone else, so it must be normal. we all get punched around by mom when she's feeling especially bad, don't we?

[raisedbybpd]

growing up with a borderline mom means never knowing when things are truly okay. it's about constantly looking for signs of her being upset, then begging her to look at you after she locks herself up in her own misery– pleading, "i'm not your enemy, don't try to fight me again, it hurts."

i know to pay attention to the sound of her footsteps– is she in a rush, or is she angry again? when she tells me we're okay, am i allowed to take that at face value? can i trust her to be honest with me, or should i have learned to gauge her unspoken demands by now?