While I was in High School, my mom went to Graduate School for a Master's Degree in Social Responsibility. Inspired by her as she worked on a portfolio of activism, and subtly learning Marxist theory alongside her, I began participating in the National Day of Silence as an out queer youth. After my second or third year of participating, I started my High School's Gay-Straight Alliance with my Art teacher. By the time I got to Higher Education, I was writing for local independent radio and covered the Minneapolis branch of Occupy Wall Street in an episode of their podcast series before helping organize my small city's branch of the movement as well.
But at 19, disaster struck that no one saw coming. I had a Psychotic Break that surprised even my psychiatrist. I was catatonic for six weeks total, and the doctors told my mom to take guardianship of me moving forward. I was deemed a lost cause. None of the nurses in the psychiatric ward had ever seen a patient hit rock bottom so hard. I was indeed plagued by delusions and hallucinations, but even as I was put on antipsychotics and the symptoms faded, I never let go of the belief that this had happened because of some sort of spiritual reason. My mother watched on as I began to read tarot, study witchcraft and start communicating with pagan deities.
Although she knew in her heart I had psychic gifts alongside my diagnosis, she didn't affirm them until I moved out on my own. I had received my social security benefits miraculously within the first year of my psychotic break, but she didn't want me to further unground myself. This changed when I moved out after another miraculous acquisition of social support as I received my first housing voucher within four months of beginning my search for independent housing. I spent the time at the one of the worst residential treatment centers imaginable in the interim, but it was revealed as more than worth the struggle as I adapted to living on my own in my new apartment.
Now that I've been living on my own and a potential local in-house tarot reading gig is in the cards for me as employment, my mom has been exploring her own psychic gifts and tending to our ancestors. Throughout this whole ordeal, a local journalist has been keeping track of my recover as a future Health & Wellness story in my city's newspaper. I recently contacted her after the news of my potential employment after so many years of working on my mental health, and I have begun to realize the magnitude of the miracles present within my life and the social impact social safety nets like SSI have on communities, and how my story is potentially a shining example.
It is my understanding that, compared to becoming financially independent at the risk of my health, remaining on government benefits has the potential to allow myself, my family, my clients and my loved ones to have a far greater social impact just because I am given the opportunity to put my health first. I was a teenage activist, and the urge to contribute to society meaningfully in ways that benefit social welfare has never left me. While I may not be a big name influencer because of my inability to hustle, my impact is actually far greater than if I were to be successful in the eyes of Capitalism.
If I were to become financially independent despite my health problems, I would merely be another instance of inspiration porn. I, too, would be capitulating to Capitalism at the risk of my health and wellness and all of the meaningful contributions I make to society just by having the energy to be a good friend, family member and partner to those around me. My loved ones are not even able to think about the things I have the time and energy for, as a spirit worker, because they are being worked to death. It is my hope that my story can be a shining light in the darkness of what life would look like with Universal Basic Income and Medicare for All.
Not only is this a look into the future of a more economically sustainable future focused on wellness, but it also implies the necessity of spiritual practitioners for personal and public wellness goals. I would not be anywhere near as functional, if I did not regularly check in with my spiritual mentor, make my weekly offerings to my deities, read tarot for myself or had the opportunity to read it for others. Truly, I come back to my assertation that this has happened for a reason related to my path as an activist. Just because I am not on the frontlines of protests does not mean my contributions are less valuable than doing more easily recognizable praxis. The health of yourself and your relationships matter, too.