Rakes and Hoes

Historical romance novels make all the pretty maidens drop their lacy polyester petticoats

[rakesandhoes]

Apparently making a match involves asking your fairy godmother for help.

[rakesandhoes]

Of course this picture immediately reminds me of Atonement so.......hopefully this ends up being a different kind of rumor

[rakesandhoes]

The war's death toll was innumerable. Worse, the royal ironing maid was the first casualty.

[badromancenovelcovers]

She ran off, yelling "Master has given a sock!"

It happened every time he stripped.

It kind of broke the mood.

Hellfire — Kate Douglas

[elizabethplaid]

My father shall hear about this!

[badromancenovelcovers]

Run along now — Daddy’s a bit busy.

Come back in… 2 hours.

[rakesandhoes]

Alternate cover for Anna Karenina

[rakesandhoes]

"Yes my dear, I know the azaleas didn't bloom promptly on May 1st as we requested. The gardening staff has been sacked. Be strong, darling. We have to be strong..."

[rakesandhoes]

I have seen hats made of birds, but hats made of bird’s nests with their mangled corpses sticking out is a new one, I must say.

[rakesandhoes]

Final Fantasy XX: Scottish Dub

[rakesandhoes]

"It was an accident, I swear" *Looks at the camera like on The Office*

[rakesandhoes]

I feel like this guy's chest is staring at me.

[rakesandhoes]

It figures the one guy in the historical romanceverse that doesn't employ extreme manscaping is the one guy who most severely needs it.

[rakesandhoes]

Yes, there is nothing more that the overwhelmingly female audience of this book would ever want to see than a headless woman showing off her legs while wearing a garter that is neither holding up a stocking or a weapon. Of course this was designed by a fellow woman. Why would I want to look at anything else in my spare time?

…

*jiggles thighs sadly*

[rakesandhoes]

When exactly did choking become sexy? This appears to be a common problem on romance covers. I know you're inbred and have been raised by governesses, ladies, but you should know how to chew by now.

[rakesandhoes]

Oh my gosh you guys, I'm not dead! Classes are coming to a close and soon I'll have time for pleasure reading again. HALLELU.

Shameless plug: I am starting an experimental blog based on a community I was in on livejournal during the dark ages of the internet, called What Was That One? This is a community ask blog where people can submit questions about things they can't remember - a tv show you used to watch from your childhood, the name of that one actor who's in the background of everything, that song that has no lyrics but's just so catchy...

The only way something like this will work is if there is a diverse group of followers who like puzzles, reblogging, and helping people out, so if this sounds like something you'd be interested in please follow!

Here's the link again

Love you all

[rakesandhoes]

The 10-inch length difference between Lady Julianna's legs hindered her ability to climb into the bed, but Lord Rupert wasn't going to let that stop them.

[rakesandhoes]

Pistol Pete couldn't believe he had to pay shipping to send his mail order bride back to Ukraine. But he just couldn't stand her doily addiction.

[rakesandhoes]

Stock background, model doesn't bother getting dressed all the way, poorly applied watercolor filter...yup, this one's going to be the next Pride and Prejudice, I can feel it.