Why are my sinuses draining so much tonight? We don't have rain forecast until Tuesday, so it's not the usual low pressure system affecting me.
Had a good day of snuggling, as I tried and eventually did sleep. Bed sheets aren't as soft as the last set, but they were better for regulating temperature.
Folded the clean laundry and brought it upstairs. I plan to start tackling the task of putting things away after dinner. Whatever clutter I can clear away from in front of my wardrobe will be a bonus.
I misplaced my Froud Faerie oracle deck in this clutter back in 2024. It would be such a blessing to find it under all that disorganized (but clean) laundry. (Lots of stuff I pulled from my wardrobe and never put back, but also never wore. I am not always wise, clearly.)
Junk Food Friday will be ready in about 10 minutes. But I'm still debating my sensory needs. I'm better with pajama pants for a few hours at a time, but socks are a bit troublesome lately.
Starting TdF this year with no plan and no spinning wheel! I'm travelling for the first ten days, and wheel travel logistics were daunting for a three-city tour to visit friends and family, PLUS I want to increase my confidence with doing more work on my spindles anyway. I have with me my green glasspin, four braids from a six braid gradient set I've been picking my way through for years, and the very start of my work for TdF 2026!
Finally getting around to doing chores is embarrassing, realizing how far behind you are. Even though I've done small batches of laundry for daily essentials, the bedsheets are another story. And with how sensitive I am to fabrics still, I'm trying to acclimate to an old flat sheet that is no longer soft.
It's time to invest in new linens, anyway, by now. I had bought a set of green sheets at Target last year, then took my sweet time before actually using them. Literally had to mitigate a panic attack from the texture, just so I could get a little rest that night. Big oof!
I needed this last month or so to really rest my brain. Feeling mostly ready to tackle the chores. When I can put away clean laundry, it will open up room to move around things. That means dad will finally get to finish the bookshelf!
As I sort through clothes, I want to purge my closet - both of clothes and whatever else has been thrown in there. Lots of things to try on but also to wash the dust off of. My closet doesn't have a door, because I never got around to hanging up a curtain. It's been done for nearly 20 years. It's just hard to finish up final details on projects when there are so many new things to tackle, haha!
But today was good, even though I didn't plan for things to happen today. (It's like 1:30am on Friday, so assume I'm talking about Thursday.) And considering I postponed counseling this week, I'm doing better than expected.
Guess my calls with Jay really inspire me to participate in life. I love that she cheers me on, as I work through things. She said my hair looks really nice, after my shower (still experimenting with conditioners). I joked about how my skin didn't look real in the pic, but it's likely that it's just different because I was able to do skincare. Usually, I'm in "survival mode" with most things.
I swear, when I'm able to maintain things on a regular basis again, I'll post some new selfies. I'm still my adorable self, but you can really see how much I glow when I have the energy to put in the efforts.
====
Still need to figure out what to paint my nails next. If the thinner works well overnight, I may dive into the Urban Decay colors I mentioned.
As for laundry and other chores, I will keep going slow with tasks, taking long breaks in between. I can be a snail with this, as I build up momentum. Every little bit is progress.
It's been nearly 3 months with this big box of nail polish. Obviously, I haven't been able to wear everything yet. But I'm only just now getting around to swatching the last few bottles. Feels crazy.
Working on the Urban Decay 20th anniversary colors. I have 5 out of the original 12 they reproduced: Frostbite, UV-B, Bruise, Mildew, and Plague. Dark blue, bright blue, brown and green?, green, and purple, respectively.
They all needed thinner, but Frostbite was fine. I added a drop to be safe, though.
These pics are from May, when I first opened the big box from @etooz.
Bruise is my fav of this group, but Mildew is a close second. Gosh, I haven't even seen them in daylight yet!
Ugh, I feel kinda cheated. I felt on the brink of tears during part of my shower, but they would not come forth. Like, a shower is the perfect time to cry, especially with the overstimulation that I already have. I even had good tunes playing.
I had the same problem yesterday - needing to cry but can't. I'm drying out in front of the fan now, feeling frustrated and grumpy and not able to enjoy the cool air.
I took off my nail polish and trimmed my nails before the shower. They were getting long, and I could see the edges starting to crack. No big chips, thankfully.
Kinda funny that thinking about nail art helps me calm down, even though the maintenance can be part of what overloads my senses. Oh cruel fate! *dramatic swoon*
Will consult Jay and @etooz for what colors might come next. I have a few combos planned, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood for them yet. I want to save the linear holos and Cirque Colors for when I get a magnet.
And the orange combo will be for the second half of August, with my mom in mind. Not her fav colors, but it's for OPI #Virgoals, which is orange and fiery like late summer.
I have some ideas for what she might pick as her fav colors, so those could be for her actual birthday. Then the oranges can be next. Even if I wear both combos for 2 weeks each, that would still cover Virgo season.
The first half of October will likely be Chanel Taboo, maybe paired with Essie Wicked? I'll have to revisit my swatches to check. I could pair it with the other Chanel color, Èmerauld, but I still have other similar greens that still need combos.
If/when I go shopping before my birthday, I think I want to fill in my collection of colors with some basics, like white and other solid cremes. Other than white and maybe some grays, I'm not sure if I'll remember what colors I want.
I've just been watching some nail art videos lately, and some designs need a contrasting background to help show off the design.
cheese sits on the toilet while we take showers, and i like to stand on my tip toes and draw his silhouette in the steam from a high angle, then stand back to see how warped it is from his actual shape
Spent more time resting, after canceling counseling yesterday. A tiny bit of tidying, but it's not enough to brag. But better than nothing. I'm not feeling restless yet, so I'm trying to be patient with myself. I've needed so much more rest and quiet than I realized. And it's def making a difference with my anxiety.
Had a late call with Jay after dinner, then tried to pull tarot after. After getting the runaround, with the cards avoiding answering my questions, I focused on imagining a scene. Will discuss that below the cut.
It's almost time for Moscow to fetch me for breakfast. There's a Dunkin drink waiting for me in the fridge, left from yesterday. Life is quiet but rich, and I am content to be healing like this.
I'm still hesitant to discuss this newer story thing openly, though I think I've mentioned bits here and there. It relates to exploring spiritual things and new tools with counseling. I don't have the language to frame it, to explain easily and without judgement. Just trust that it's another narrative that helps me sort my thoughts.
Because it's a different approach than usual, I am constantly surprised by how the story undolds. Speaking out loud, saying the first idea that rises up. I let my unconscious side take the wheel, sorta. And she is steering me into strange places, haha.
Eh, maybe there's not enough to share without the backstory. I tried, sorry. I've already recorded myself talking about it, so it's at least preserved for later.
Speaking of which, I haven't listened to the remaining 7 files of last year's Aug 4 rant yet. Still processing those first 40 minutes. I feel good on the surface, and it felt good to reflect with Jay. We both know there's no good rushing this, too.
"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past
izzy806
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
