This wasn't my idea from the start (I have no plan, don't let me fool you, I just let the thirst take me where it needs me to go) but I've been eyeing San's Warriors dance video for a while 👀
So imagine this!
A/b/o but make it like kinda feudal. A poor little alpha boy works at the palace, lowest on the pecking order, treated no better than a slave. Falls in love with the alpha lord's daughter, is beaten half to death for it and sent away to die.
Little alpha boy survives but the gentle little boy is gone, growing up to be ruthless and feared, vowing to take revenge on everyone who ever mistreated him.
Once he grows strong enough he brings his new pack to the palace and takes his revenge, saving the former alpha lord's daughter to keep for himself. But the sweet boy she loved as a child is seemingly nowhere to be found, in his place a feral, unpredictable, warlord who seems to have turned the love he used to have for her into something dark and twisted.
This man is officially trying to kill me! Who the fuck let him out of his enclosure?!! The hair, the shoulders, the tongue, THE FUCKING EYES!!! SAVE ME!
Summary: When you originally auditioned for KQ, you got rejected, and went back to Australia and your older brother to lick your wounds. For a couple of years you tried to forget your dream and be happy with the humble life you built, but there was always something in you that longed for the stage and the lights. One day you got the call, and left to live your dream. But maybe this dream shouldn't have been chased?
Warning/content labels: 9th member, bullying, sexual harassment/assault, alienation, xenophobia, suicide, regression trope, time travel, mentions of alcoholism, restrictive eating, extreme guilt and second chances, and grave formatting issues that I blame on Tumblr.
A/N: Thank you everyone for the super sweet birthday wishes, they made me so happy! Everyone say hi to my darling @gooddaykate whose hard work is keeping this story's momentum going! As always, let me know if you want to be tagged in rest of this, either by comment or ask. Enjoy!
Before You Go Masterlist
Chapter 13 Chapter 15
Mingi doesn’t leave until the early hours of the morning. He'd seemed reluctant about going back to his room for some reason, and you hadn't wanted to be alone.
You talk, you watch YouTube, you drink a lot of tea.
If someone was to ask you what you talk about, you wouldn't be able to tell them. The topic doesn’t matter. It’s not even about getting to know each other. Just two lonely people who don’t want the quiet to swallow them whole.
You're able to get a couple of hours of sleep before Minseok knocks on your door, ready to take you to breakfast. Thankfully, the upper floors where your group is staying have their own lounge and breakfast bar, which is blissfully empty seeing how late it is.
Yeosang and Seonghwa join you after a little while, both of them having slept in, but Mingi is nowhere to be seen. You can’t say you blame him; you’re going back to sleep as soon as breakfast is over.
Seonghwa's still fussing over you, and he doesn't look like he's gotten much sleep either. In fact, out of everyone at the table, Yeosang is the only one who seems to have caught more than three hours of sleep, and while he seems a bit confused about everyone’s appearance, he doesn't mention it.
You'd messaged Hongjoong after you'd gotten out of bed that you're okay with him telling the guys what had happened last night, and after he checked that you were sure three times, he said he’d handle it.
He obviously hasn't done it yet because Yeosang seems none the wiser, but you imagine it'll be difficult for him not to say anything when Kwan's absence becomes clear. Or if he's still here, the guys will demand an explanation as to why the captain looks ready to murder their photographer.
You shouldn't care if he's still on set working. You're not there, it's not like he's going to come at you again. But you are worried about Hongjoong causing a stir.
Even just a hint of tension on set can get blown out of proportion, and you really don't need another media shit storm. It was bad enough after you'd been caught out on a date last year, with everyone but Minseok refusing to even look at you the next day.
It hadn't even been a good date.
"Chan-ah, are you okay?" Yeosang asks, pulling you out of your thoughts, the question immediately putting both Minseok and Seonghwa on high alert.
"I'm not that hungry today." You say with a placating smile, not wanting to lie by telling him you're fine, but also not wanting to rehash last night's events with any of the members who don't already know.
You'll leave that to Hongjoong, and move on with your life.
"I can get you something else if you want?" Sweet, lovable Yeosang says, standing up from his seat as if he’s about to do just that. "They have like five different kinds of melons."
"It's okay." You chuckle, silently urging him to sit back down. "I'll eat more at lunch. Promise."
Cuteness aggression is a thing. Yeosang leaning over the table, holding his pinky out towards you with a serious look on his beautiful face, proves it.
"Pinky promise." You laugh, hooking your finger with his, and watch as the smile settles on his face.
"So, what's everyone's plan today?" Seonghwa asks once the other is back in his seat, and you're sipping your tea.
"I'm going to the gym." Yeosang says. "Then maybe the pool. Other than that, just chilling."
"Sounds very you." Seonghwa chuckles before turning his attention to you, and by extension Minseok because he knows the man is not leaving you alone today. "What about you, Chan-ah? Any ideas?"
"Sleep." You shrug, trying your best to hide a yawn behind your hand. "Maybe go out, find some nice place to have lunch if I wake up before noon."
"You want some company? I was going to head out later myself, but it's always more fun with other people. What do you say?"
You glance at Minseok whose facial expression makes it clear the decision is completely up to you. He goes where you go.
"Sure." You say, picking at what remains of the eggs on your plate as you give Seonghwa a neutral smile. "Why not?"
"Hey, can I ask you for a favor?" You ask Seonghwa when you're heading back to your room, needing to get the thing that's been weighing on you off your chest.
"Of course, what's up?"
"I know this is going to sound stupid, but do you think you could check on Mingi-ssi?"
Whatever Seonghwa had expected to hear, it wasn't that.
"Yeah... Why though?"
"He came to my room last night and we ended up having a talk," You say before hurrying to clarify when the older looks like his eyes are about to bug out of his head. "Everything was fine, nothing happened, it's just... He didn't seem like he wanted to go back to his room. I don't know, like I said it's probably stupid, but it felt like something was waiting for him or something?"
The shock evaporates into worry, and you watch Seonghwa's face take on a look of understanding, but he doesn't explain.
"I'll check in on him." He instead says, shooting you a gentle smile as he, much like yesterday, reaches out, this time towards your shoulder, but stops himself before he can touch you, like he thinks better of it. "Thank you for telling me. And for caring."
"He helped me last night." You shrug, choosing to ignore the way you find yourself wanting to step into the missing touch. "It's the least I can do."
You decide to text each other around lunch time to see how you're doing and split up. You go to your room, while Seonghwa heads to Mingi's.
Your explanation had been vague, but the older still feels his stomach turning. They hadn't taken the mini bar into account when it came to Mingi having his own room, and after witnessing what happened to you, there's no way his head is where it should be.
Seonghwa's knocking on the door is obnoxious, but it's supposed to be, enough to be able to wake his friend and brother out of a drunken sleep.
The Mingi that eventually greets him in the doorway looks worse for wear. He’s barely conscious, hair a mess, with the entire room stinking of alcohol. The mini bottles of liquor spread out over the little kitchenette make Seonghwa's stomach drop.
"Mingi-ah..." The older sighs, watching his brother slump down on the bed, squinting at him when he walks over to the bottles.
"I didn't drink, hyung." Mingi mumbles as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes.
"It stinks in here, Mingi." Seonghwa sighs.
"I know but I didn't drink them." He says. "I poured them out so I couldn't."
The older watches him, eyes searching for any sign that he’s not telling him the truth.
"I kept seeing her face." He mumbles, sounding close to tears. "I knew the alcohol would help me forget, so I got rid of it. I only had tea and water. Promise."
Seonghwa doesn't say anything as he walks over and sits beside him on the bed, wrapping an arm around younger's shoulders.
"The bill's going to be fucking expensive." Mingi chokes out a wet laugh.
"We'll take that any day over the alternative." Seonghwa says as he hugs him tighter. "I'm proud of you, Mingi-ah."
"This fucking sucks, hyung." Mingi sniffles, and Seonghwa can only assume he means all of it.
"It does. And I know I didn't tell you last night, but I'm so proud of you for stepping in. It was a scary situation that's going to stick with you for a long time, but you protected her when no one else did."
"Wasn't enough." The younger mumbles.
"I bet you it means the world to Chan-ah. You did the right thing, and I know she's grateful."
"She should hate me."
"Well, she's the one who asked me to check on you because she was worried, so even if she does, I'd say you’re not as screwed as you think."
"Really?" Mingi looks at him, and Seonghwa's heart aches at the fragile hope shining in those wide, sweet eyes that he adores so much.
"Really." Seonghwa smiles, leaning his head against his little brother's. "You did good, Minki."
"Do you feel okay to be alone or should I ask Yeosang to come keep you company?" He asks once Mingi has calmed down a bit more. "I'm going to go with Chan-ah and Mr Lee to find a good lunch spot, otherwise I'd offer to stay."
"I don't want to ruin his plans." Mingi says, which they both know is a definite 'no' to if he wants to be alone without saying it.
"From what I understood, his plans are going to the gym, the pool, and then just hanging out at the hotel all day. If anything, you'd be entertaining him." Seonghwa chuckles as he pets Mingi's bright hair, the need to smooth the bed head down giving him something to fidget with.
"Does he know?"
"Not yet. But Hongjoong is going to talk to the others, so if you want, I can talk to him, so you don't have to."
"Is... Does Chan-ah..."
"She's okay with it. I think she just wants to get it over with, if I'm being honest."
"Yeah..." Mingi says. "I got that feeling last night too."
"So. You spent some time in her room." Seonghwa says, and he can't help but chuckle at the blush that spreads across the younger's face.
"Nothing happened." He mumbles and Seonghwa leans his head against him again.
"I know, Minki. You're not a monster, even if your brain has convinced you that you are."
He knows his words hit their target when Mingi shivers.
"She couldn't sleep either." He says. "We talked. Drank tea. Watched videos. We... We said we'd start over."
"That makes me happy to hear." The older says softly, blinking the tears out of his eyes before Mingi has a chance to spot them.
Out of all of them, he's been the most worried about the rapper since they got you back.
"It might take time," Seonghwa cautions, even though he's well aware that Mingi knows this. "But just getting a second chance is a big step. You should be proud of that."
Mingi isn't, but maybe someday he will be.
"So, are you going to tell us why we're not having a photoshoot today, or do you want us to guess?"
Hongjoong takes a deep breath as he looks up at Wooyoung, then the others.
They're gathered in the dressing room, the managers and security having all left. They're the only ones there, as the captain hadn't felt it appropriate to air the details of your situation to anyone outside the core group.
The director had said he'd take care of everyone else who needed to know.
"The photographer has been removed from the project." Hongjoong says with a sigh, steeling himself for the tidal wave of emotions he knows are about to hit all of them. "He assaulted Chan-ah last night, so we will no longer be working with him. Any pictures he's taken will be scrapped, and we'll do pick-ups when we get back home with someone else."
The silence that fills the room is one of confusion, and while Hongjoong expected it, the weight of it is still unbearable.
"What?" San's voice is quiet as he stares at his captain, almost like he's begging him to say that he's joking.
"What does that mean, 'he assaulted her'?" Yunho asks, struggling to cling onto the disbelief that's threatening to give way to pure rage.
"He got her alone." Hongjoong says, the words are making him nauseous, but he forces himself to continue, to be the captain they all need. "He groped her, choked her and said all sorts of disgusting things to her. Mingi managed to step in and get her away from him before it got any further, but she wasn't doing well afterwards."
The crash of a bag hitting the wall startles them, and they all watch as San starts pacing the room like a feral animal ready to maim. It's rare to see him truly angry, but the murderous look on his face is a clear sign to everyone, even Wooyoung, to stay away.
"Where the fuck was security?" Wooyoung asks, looking about as ready to kill as San, as he stands frozen, staring at his captain.
"Where was Mr Lee?" Jongho adds quietly, having mostly retreated into himself to deal with his emotions the best way he knows how.
"She didn't have security." Hongjoong sighs, the severe oversight in the planning having haunted him since last night. "Minseok was deemed to be enough but he was... Dealing with a personal issue."
"What kind of personal issue?" Wooyoung demands to know, and even though Hongjoong can't say he's okay with how your manager handled the situation, he can understand it.
"His wife is pregnant. She called him last night because they thought she was having a miscarriage, and she was on her way to the hospital. Chan-ah told him to take the call, so he stepped away. Apparently, she's okay, but... Yeah."
The dressing room once again falls silent. The only sound to be heard is the buzzing of a light, and San's pacing and deep breaths to keep himself from exploding again.
None of them can say anything to that. They know that if they'd been in the manager's position, they would have done the same thing, but the consequences of that decision are severe, and very much real.
"How's Chan-ah doing?" Yunho eventually asks, his tone level enough that you'd be fooled into thinking his emotions are under control, but the look in his eyes is one all of them had hoped they'd never have to see again.
"She says she's fine, but we all know that could mean anything." Hongjoong says, slumping back in his seat as the tension in the room lessens ever so slightly. "Seonghwa's spending the day with her, so hopefully she'll open up a bit more to him about it. But yeah, it's a fucking mess."
"What about Mingi-hyung?" Jongho asks, everyone's eyes going to him. "You said he intervened. How is he doing?"
"He's... Not doing great. I talked to him last night when they came back to the hotel, but according to Seonghwa he had a rough time after that. Had to pour out all the alcohol so he wouldn't be tempted to drink it, apparently."
"Jesus Christ." Yunho whispers before he gets his phone out, instantly texting his best friend to check in.
"What happens to Kwan?" San storms over, still fuming but looking slightly less like he's about to go on a murder spree right this second.
"The director's looking into it, but Chan-ah didn't seem sure how she wanted to proceed."
"Seriously?" Wooyoung scoffs in disbelief but fixes his face when four pairs of eyes bore into him.
"She was just assaulted, Wooyoung." Hongjoong stares at him. "She's allowed to take as much time as she needs."
"I didn't mean it like that." Wooyoung mumbles, his lack of filter once again getting him into trouble. "I just meant that anyone who does that to another person deserves to go to prison, not walk around free, being allowed around other people like everything's fine."
"I don't think anyone disagrees with you, hyung." Jongho says, ever the voice of sensibility in the sea of emotion that is the group. "But definitely try to phrase it that way from the start next time."
"I'm doing my best trying to stay off the war path right now, give me a break." Wooyoung grumbles, indeed doing his best to keep breathing through the rage burning a hole in his chest.
"Mingi's with Yeosang." Yunho says, looking up from his phone. "He says he's exhausted but okay. They’re spending the day together."
"That's good." Hongjoong says, watching San as he goes back to pacing in the background, and he doesn't have it in him to ask him to stop. He needs to get it out, or they all know he'll explode for real.
"So how do we handle this? With Chan-ah?" Yunho asks.
"Don't let the fox talk to her." Jongho shoots his hyung a little mischievous smile that helps lighten the heavy mood of the dressing room.
"Haha, very funny." Wooyoung deadpans but there's a softness returning to his eyes at the joke. "Seriously though."
"She said she's okay talking about it but maybe don't be in her face about it. And no touching unless she initiates it either. Just to be safe."
"You ready for adventure?" Seonghwa asks when you open your door, mask and ball cap already in place.
"Yes. Just need to grab my wallet and I'm all set."
"You won't need it," Seonghwa says with a grin. "Captain's orders."
You really don't want to think about the amount of money that's been spent on you recently, so you force yourself not to.
"O-Okay." You say, ignoring the wrong feeling of leaving your wallet behind as you grab your room key and leave the room. "As long as you're sure."
"Trust me, I'd somehow spend more money if you weren't here." He chuckles, and even though you don't understand his logic, you nod.
Minseok, who has been outside your room since you returned from breakfast, falls into step behind you as you make your way to the elevator.
He's no doubt been on high alert the entire time you slept and got ready, and there's a twinge of guilt in your chest at how much safer it makes you feel. Normally it would make you feel suffocated, or like a child like when Yi won't let you out of her sight, but none of that is present now. If anything, you're that much calmer because of it.
It's technically not his job keep you safe to this extent, but he shoulders the new role with grace. Even though you know his mind keeps replaying last night's events over and over again.
You're sorry for putting him in this situation, even though logically you know that neither of you are to blame. Opportunity makes the thief after all, and Kwan saw you alone and naive, and he acted on it. It was circumstances, neither yours nor Minseok's fault.
Or at least that's what you want to believe. You should have known better. Shouldn't have interfered with Minseok's work. Shouldn't have trusted Kwan the way you did. Should have raised your voice and called out for help the second he started making you feel uncomfortable. But you hadn't. And while logic is telling you the only one to blame is the person who hurt you, your mind is having a harder time believing it. You've spent so long being blamed for every little thing that goes wrong that it's become part of your identity, the black sheep of Ateez.
The irony of Yangchan's design strikes you once again. Your sweet little black nosed friend.
"I know a couple of good places to eat." Seonghwa's voice brings you out of your thoughts, and you look up at him where he walks beside you. "Are you feeling like anything specific?"
He aims the question at both you and Minseok, and you're not sure why him so easily including the manager makes your heart warm.
"I'm good with anything. You know, just, maybe not something too heavy?" You say as you try to ignore how unfamiliar making demands feels, but Seonghwa acts like there's nothing weird about it, even grinning like he's proud of you for it.
"What about you, Mr Lee?"
"I eat literally everything." Minseok chuckles, placing a featherlight hand on your back to guide you out of the way of someone barreling their way through the streets.
He's taking his guard dog duty seriously today.
"Great!" Seonghwa grins as he turns to wave down a taxi. "Then I'm taking you to my favorite restaurant, you're going to love it."
And somehow you don't doubt it. Seonghwa is known as the foodie of the group after all.
The little restaurant on the corner street is bright and modern, yet intimate. There are maybe seven tables in total, but only a couple of them are occupied, so you're able to tuck yourselves away in a corner.
The boys let you have the corner seat where no one can come up behind you, and you feel like some kind of movie star where you're safely boxed in between your manager turned bodyguard, and one of the most beautiful men in the world.
Even when you had your issues with Seonghwa, his beauty was never in question. He’d even been the first member to catch your eye the first time you saw them all together when they debuted.
A waiter comes up to the table, asks for your drink orders and hands you the menu to look over while he goes to get those ready.
Everything sounds good. Delicious even.
There's Thai stewed pork ribs and eggs, vegetable and seafood soups, stir fries, curry, Tom Kha. You want to try all of it!
"Neither of you worry about the price." Seonghwa says, looking up from the menu, his eyes shining like they have a tendency to do around good food. "Director Kim is picking up the check."
You're about to say something, maybe some sort of protest even though you wouldn't be able to afford this on your own, but Minseok's chuckle interrupts before the words can tumble out of you.
"I've never had my boss' boss buy me lunch before."
"It's nice, right?" Seonghwa laughs, before he looks over at you. "What are you thinking of getting?"
You stare down at the menu again. The voice in your head, that sounds a lot like Yi's, is screaming at you to get a clear vegetable and shrimp soup and nothing else. But your stomach, and some rebellious part of you, is telling you to order half the menu.
"We can share if you want to try stuff." Seonghwa kindly offers and you're sure the indecision is written on your face. "Can I show you what I got last time that I liked?"
You nod, and he does, Minseok watching the interaction with a smile on his lips as he sees you relax ever so slightly.
He didn't sleep well last night, his mind too focused on worrying about Seonyeong, their baby, and you, to get much rest. He's never felt more useless in his life, even when he wasn't allowed in the delivery room after Seonyeong took a turn for the worse while delivering their daughter.
Not only was he unable to be next to his wife last night when she was terrified about losing the baby, he wasn't there to protect you when you needed him the most.
He hears what you're both ordering, and picks something different for himself. This way you'll be able to taste most of the menu, even if you won't be able to eat all of it.
He's seen Seonghwa eat before. He doubts, between the three of you, even if you order everything off the menu, that there will be any leftovers to speak of.
"Somebody roll me out of here." Minseok sighs as he leans back in his seat, perfectly mirroring Seonghwa sitting across from him. "I don't think I've ever been this full in my life."
"Tell me about it." Seonghwa groans, rubbing his stomach. "It was so good though."
"You're being total dads right now." You can't help but chuckle as you watch them.
"You saying you're not full?" Seonghwa asks incredulously, his face softening when you laugh at him.
"Oh no, I am. I'm just wondering how you two are acting the same age."
"Everyone knows I'm an old man at heart." Seonghwa chuckles.
"And I'm a spring chicken." Minseok groans as he straightens in his seat to the sound of his back cracking. "God, how am I supposed to be able to keep up with a baby and a four-year-old?"
"Don't forget Hyemin." You giggle.
"I'd never forget my princess." The manager harrumphs, briefly checking his phone as if reminded to check in by the conversation.
"How old is your daughter, Mr Lee?" Seonghwa asks, his food coma giving way for his love of children.
"She's turning nine in February. God, she's growing up so fast." Minseok looks like he's about to cry just thinking about his firstborn.
"She's adorable." You say, rubbing the manager's arm to calm him down before he actually starts crying in the middle of the restaurant.
"Of course she is, she's a carbon copy of my wife."
"She really is." You laugh. "Just as stubborn too."
"She sure is." Minseok grins. "And I love her for it."
"How's your wife doing by the way?" Seonghwa asks, voice softening slightly with his shift to the more sensitive topic.
"She's alright." Minseok says, some of the levity leaving him but not enough for you to be concerned. "Her and the baby. She apparently had, or has, something called a subchorionic hematoma. I'm not entirely sure I understand it enough to explain it properly, but the doctor described it as blood getting trapped between the baby and the uterus, which was why she was bleeding and cramping."
You'd looked up the term when Minseok had told you earlier, so even though there are some words you don't understand in Korean, you can still follow along with his explanation.
"It's apparently not uncommon this early on in a pregnancy but she's never had it with the other two, so she understandably panicked."
"That sounds terrifying," Seonghwa says softly. "I can't even imagine."
"I'm just glad her mom was there." Minseok sighs, taking the last sip of his drink. "But I promised her I wouldn't come home without a mountain of souvenirs, so until I've got those, I'm stuck here."
"Oh, then shall we?" Seonghwa smiles, looking between you and the manager. "I have some stuff I want to get too."
"Sounds good. You feel ready to go?" Minseok aims the last part at you, and you fight the impulse to tell him you want to go back to the hotel.
Even though you're used to having no money, being without your wallet is anxiety-inducing for you. And given that they're both about to spend money and you have nothing, it’s upping that anxiety big time.
"Yeah, just need to use the bathroom before we leave." You say, forcing yourself to smile and to keep breathing.
The cold water on your face and wrists helps a bit even if the baseline of anxiety doesn’t appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. You feel ridiculous about it being over something so trivial as shopping, but you suppose it's not really the cause of the anxiety but rather the trigger for all the underlying shit to surface.
It's going to be fine.
Knowing does help to make it less scary, but it's still annoying as fuck, and it's forcing you to be kind to yourself which is not really your strong suit.
Your phone starts going off and thinking it's Minseok texting to ask if you're okay in there, you quickly dry your hands and pick it up.
But it's not Minseok. It's Wooyoung. Your first message ever in a private chat.
Wooyoung 13:43
Hey
Hyung told us what happened
I'm so fucking sorry
If you need anything at all you just let us know
I'm gonna do my best to not be...
Well
Me 😅
Seriously though we're all here for you 🖤
You're not sure if you'd expected any of them to reach out to you, mostly because they're guys and you doubt they'd know what to say, but Wooyoung was the last one you would have bet money on.
You keep staring at the messages. You don't know how to respond, or even if you should. Your standard reply for everything emotional of 'I'm fine but thank you' really doesn't fly here. He wouldn't buy it and you're worried about what would happen next if you sent it.
If you'd sent it to Chris, he would have thrown you over his shoulder, dumped you on the couch, wrapped you up in a blanket, then himself, and wouldn't have let you move for 24 hours.
Wooyoung isn't your brother though. And yet he's reached out. You're getting a headache but at least you seem to have forgotten about the anxiety.
A knock comes at the door and before you can scramble up an apology for occupying the bathroom for so long, Minseok's voice comes through.
"Kid? You okay in there?"
"Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay, be right out." You call back, taking one last look at the chat and double tapping the final message, a red heart attaching itself to it.
It's too much, but you don't have time to think of anything better, and you shove your phone into your pocket and hurry to unlock the door.
"Hey," Minseok says when you emerge, looking you over like he expects you to have been held hostage in the bathroom or something. "You ready to go?"
"Yep." You say, ignoring the way your heart is still going crazy in your chest. "I'm ready."
Shopping with Minseok and Seonghwa turns out to be as anxiety-inducing as you'd feared, but for a whole different reason than you'd thought.
It turns out that when Seonghwa said you didn't need to bring your wallet, he had truly meant it. Because he's paying for your stuff. All of it.
You know Hongjoong hasn’t told him about the money situation because you both promised the director you’d keep it between the three of you until further notice, but it would appear Seonghwa has taken it upon himself to spoil you rotten regardless.
Anything you point at or look at a little too long, he takes it to the register, and you almost have to fight him to get him to drop whatever item he’s suddenly holding.
It’s strange and uncomfortable, and yet you can’t stop yourself from smiling. It’s like you’re back home with Chris, just walking around, trying to stop him from spending his money on junk you don’t need, and him insisting that you’re his only little sister, it’s his job to spoil and annoy you.
Speaking of Chris, you’ve found two things you’ll give him as souvenirs, even though if Seonghwa had his way, it would be 15. A fridge magnet, the same one that Seonghwa got, and a pair of beautiful hand wraps with Thai tigers on them. You know he and Felix are keeping up with the MMA back home, so you figure you might as well.
Seonghwa looks absolutely delighted when you hesitantly ask if maybe you could get a pair for Felix too and even tells you to get a pair for yourself when you don’t seem ready to move on from them.
It’s been a long time since you’ve done anything other than run or dance for your workouts, but maybe you can convince Chris to let you come to the gym with them when you’re home. Just for old time’s sake.
Throughout the walk through the market, your phone has been blowing up. You only had to look at two of the messages to know that Wooyoung’s had been the crack in the dam, to know that the others have followed suit.
From the ones you see before the heat and the crowd start making you overwhelmed, all of them are in private chats, none in the group, and you don’t know why but it’s making you surprisingly emotional so you decide to ignore all of them until you’re alone, cooled off and ready to deal with anything remotely emotional.
You had originally planned to do a tour of the Grand Palace on your day off, but once you’re done with the market, it’s clear that your stamina and mental energy are far more depleted than you’d expected.
So, when Minseok suggests going to afternoon tea at a cute little place he’d found online this morning, you accept. If for no other reason than you need to sit down for at least an hour, before you can even think about doing anything else.
It feels a bit strange, doing something so classically British while you’re in Thailand, but once you enter the beautiful lounge, you feel less weird about it. It’s a beautiful place, with clear influences from both turn of the century England and Thailand’s own culture, and there’s an odd feeling of home when you sit down by a window with Seonghwa and Minseok flanking you on both sides.
“Are your feet okay?” The idol asks once you’ve settled, and he notices you practically deflating in your seat.
“Yeah, they’re fine.” You say, too tired to think about being polite as you look around the lounge. “My legs are killing me though.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that.” Seonghwa says, a worried look settling on his face, but you wave him off.
“I wouldn’t expect you to. I should have known it would be too much with everything going on, but oh well.”
You know you’re being flippant, but the ache in your legs is getting overwhelming, and despite what these two have been doing all day, it’s really not their job to babysit you. Except maybe Minseok, but even his job description should have its limits.
“Are you okay though?” Said manager asks softly, leaning closer as if the distance between you has stopped you being honest with them. “We don’t have to stay if you’d rather go back to the hotel.”
“If you think I’m ready to move again anytime in the next hour, you’re sorely mistaken.” You say with something between a scoff and a chuckle, making the other man’s lips pull up into something that looks like a smile. “I just need to rest for a bit, get something to drink, and I’ll be alright.”
The older man leans back in his seat, seemingly satisfied with your answer, even if Seonghwa doesn’t look quite as convinced. He doesn’t say anything, but you catch him watching you several times, as if he’s looking for signs that you’re about to collapse. Little does he know, you won’t collapse from something this simple. It takes a lot more than this to keep you down.
The heat might be making you a little bit combative. Just a bit.
Wooyoung keeps staring at the chat. The little heart you left on his final message stares right back at him.
It’s the only sign of life he’s seen from you today, but Hongjoong has been keeping them updated through Seonghwa throughout the day, so he knows you’re doing okay. Or well, as okay as you can be under the circumstances.
San has been clinging to him even more than usual since they were told about the assault, but Wooyoung neither blames him nor does he dislike it. He, in fact, welcomes it. He needs the comfort as much as San does.
The others have been staying close to each other as well.
The group has a tendency to circle the wagons when outside threats are detected, protecting each other first, before handling anything else. Jongho is staying close to Hongjoong and Yunho. San and Wooyoung won’t leave each other's side .Yeosang is looking out for Mingi, and Seonghwa… Seonghwa is sticking with you, for once giving you the protection you deserve.
Wooyoung waits around for San to finish shooting his scenes, and after checking with the others to make sure they’re okay with it, they leave for the hotel together.
He’s kind of glad that there isn’t anyone taking pictures as they leave the set. Not that they’re not usually tangled up in each other in public, but this time it’s far too vulnerable for them to be comfortable being photographed.
Having to wear their seatbelts in the car is putting a distance between them that feels way too big, but with San’s hand in his, Wooyoung’s nerves are able to calm down enough to not send him spiraling.
“Has she answered?” San asks, squeezing his hand as he looks down at the younger’s phone.
“No.” Wooyoung says, squeezing back. “I didn’t really send her anything that required an answer though.”
“Yeah. But hey, you got a heart. That’s big.”
“She probably just double tapped it and forgot about it.” Wooyoung shrugs, trying to appear less affected than he is, even though he knows San can see right through it.
“Still.” He says, lacing their fingers together as he rests his head against Wooyoung’s shoulder. “She could have just done nothing at all.”
He knows San is right, but he still feels weirdly anxious about the whole thing.
“And hyung’s been with her most of the day, so she probably hasn’t even had the time to sit down.” The older chuckles, even though they both know Seonghwa will have waited on you hand and foot, especially today.
“She’s going to be exhausted when she gets back to the hotel.”
“You sound worried.” San gives him a little smile that one could technically categorize as a smirk.
“Aren’t you?” Wooyoung isn’t proud of the way he snaps at his proclaimed soulmate, but San’s smile tells him he doesn’t mind.
“Of course, I am.” He simply says, none of the intensity from earlier anywhere to be found, like all he’d needed was to explode and get the energy out to be alright again. “I’m just surprised you’re being this vocal about it.”
“Communication is a thing, I hear.” Wooyoung grumbles but whatever weird feelings he has get tamed by the way San snuggles up to him as best as he can while remaining in his seat.
“I’m proud of you, you know.” He mumbles, squeezing his hand tighter. “For trying this hard.”
The lump in his throat isn’t an easy one to swallow. He’d chuckled at the joke Jongho had cracked earlier about not letting him talk to you, but after the moment had passed, the bad feelings had lingered.
He is trying, even if it might not seem like it. You’re still scared of him. He can see it in the way your eyes automatically find his whenever San gets close to you, and it hurts every single time. He knows he’s earned the pain, that it’s nothing compared to what he’s put you through, but that doesn’t make it easier to handle.
So, for as much as he puts his foot in his mouth around you, the fact that San sees him struggling but trying his best, means the absolute world to him.
“Thank you, Sannie.” He mumbles, turning his head to kiss San’s head. “I’m going to fix this.”
“I know you are, Young-ah.” San giggles softly at the affection as the city flies by outside the car. “I believe in you.”
But your stomach, and some rebellious part of you, is telling you to order half the menu.
so many precious moments and feels galore in this one, the way they’re banding together, i just want to give everyone a great big hug!! top tier found family ok! oh mg! MG! you’re probably sick of that reaction but i keep coming back to how he feels so! much!! lingering with her for both their sakes, acting as her anchor and finding in her his own safe harbor to dock? even if he doesn’t think he deserves it, surely staying and seeing her alive and well is better than whatever nightmare he’d drown himself in (trying real hard to meet the metaphor here LOL i am a! sap!) am so proud of him for not falling back into bad habits, he’s so scared to and does what he needs to stop himself 😭 proud of both of them really, she’s peeking out of her shell! being able to spend time with them? forgetting her apprehensions? how some good food and good company does /wonders/ toward getting her to feel normal? herself? again, despite the anxiety and strangeness of it all, that SHE is the one drawing the comparison of being back home with her brother is! such! an improvement!! (how she wants the missing touch when sh pulls back? compared to the previous night, but also compared to when she expected only gentle rejections from him??) and of course, wy, please, my heart, reaching out even if jh jokes about not letting him talk to her, needing her to know she’s not! alone!! even if he’s guilty of keeping her at arms’ length from his brothers and himself in the past, trying and /persisting/ even if it hurts seeing how she feels about him
The heat might be making you a little bit combative. Just a bit.
Holy found family Batman! I'm loving allowing them to find their roles in this family that finally includes our girl (Seonghwa going full mom mode ftw!)
I'll never get tired of the Mingi reactions, that man will always have a special place in my heart, and especially here when we're finally getting to see who he is around her (who he WANTS to be around her)
He's such a feeling boy and Chan-ah is such a feeling girl but they've been hiding behind their walls to protect themselves, only to now find themselves in a unique position in the group where only the two of them experienced what happened with Kwan. So them having that understanding is very fun to play with ❤️
Him drowning himself for what he did to her is such a beautiful metaphor (again I didn't even think about it until you pointed it out!) and her recognizing his demons without knowing them and taking care of him in a way that will help herself. They're saving each other without sacrificing and hurting themselves unlike last time.
Chan-ah's getting a taste of normality and it's rewriting her nervous system one kind gesture at a time ❤️
I had such a soft spot for Wooyoung for this portion of the story you have no idea! His acknowledgement that he's going to try to be less himself to make things easier for her, and that he knows he's abrasive towards her and working on it for her 😭 I love him so much!
Sassy Chan-ah is going to come out and I'm loving it!
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