.. Ramblings of a Music Producer ..

Blog of Wayne Young - Producer / Music Lover / www.WYoungProductions.com var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-19177533-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

You might as well go ahead and delete this social media outlet too. Everyone knows about your lies.

Thanks leslie

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

.. Waiting for Something Beautiful ..

So it's been a while -

I've thought long and hard about to write, and i've written many little journals over the course of the last 9 months containing every topic from utter and total despair, to grace as seen through my eyes.

   Drowning, thats what the last two years have felt like, getting my head above water just to see the next wave in the distance and bracing for another challenge, never sure if Id come back up and take another breathe, and then theres a bad side....

I've never felt so alone, so lonely and so deserted and lost as I did on my drive back to Lethbridge Alberta Canada from the Dirty South. I'm pretty sure it was a 50/50 coin toss whether i'd make it back home breathing. Sometimes I wish i didn't.

But here's the cool thing, i'm still breathing... 

I've decided to do what i do best, i'm gonna plow...

In November on a starless night, when i was at a low and ready to go do something regrettable, I heard a song from an artist that I'd never heard of before, that i would never normally pay attention to. She fit all the categories of artist that I avoid like the plague, Singer-Songwriter/Asian/CCM... But that evening I heard a song called I Am Not.. A song about not being in control, about not having the answers. I pulled over and started to bang my head on my VW in tears, how could i be so stupid. I contacted this artist to tell her how much her song meant to me. 

And somehow a few months later I found myself back in Toronto, a city that I had abandoned half a decade ago. A city so foreign to me, but hauntingly familiar. As we landed at Pearson international i found myself praying that the plane would turn it self around, I wasn't ready, I wasn't equipped. For the first time in my adult life i DIDNT want to go into the studio. As anxiety began to overtake my body I prayed, and asked for my squinty eyes to be open just tiniest bit so I could see the grace that had been given to me, to give me courage rooted in truth and not reckless ambition. So it was in Toronto that I cut six songs with said artist, and the grace and blessings that have flowed from this project have been undeniable. 

All this to say, I think i've learned from one of my many mistakes. 

I put the infinite one in a box, i defined for the Almighty what my blessings and what my gifts NEEDED to look like, I would ONLY accept and accept a GIFT from him if it said GMA or Juno on it. I had neglected all the things he was doing to my soul and just became frustrated. All those years I spent fighting those tidal waves finally took their toll and I decided to submit, not out of humility but out of desperation. Trying to pick up the pieces after every fight with my folks, every relationship failure, every job bump drove me to be a depressed manic lying manipulative ass-face. 

So here we are no more boxes, partially cause i'm too scared to fall flat on my face again, but also because secretly i am scared that God's purse of blessings isn't bottomless and I know that I don't want to abuse the grace i've been afforded. I've been washed over with grace in a way I would have never guessed. One of them being music...

I can genuinely say I love my craft and art again. I am 16 once again sitting in my basement with pirated SONAR / karaoke mic (i stole from my parents) / pirated version of Sonar trying to figure out how the heck I can make music. I listen to music outside of my job and have stopped analyzing the pocket and the 1s and 2s and just head bang like an insane person. Ive been writing music once again that I'm insanely proud of, not because itll ever be on the radio but because music got me through my teens... and thats something beautiful. 

So i'll leave with this, to those that have called and checked in on me weekly, monthly ... thank you, your love has made all the difference between.

[rosalindrobertson]

A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things.

I’ve had depression for as long as I can...

[slaggingoff-blog]

by Paul Lawton

THE MANDATE: FACTOR Supports the Independent Canadian Music Industry The mandate for FACTOR in Canada says that it is “dedicated to providing assistance toward the growth and development of the Canadian independent music industry.”

The money FACTOR provides to Canadian musicians...

[lyndsayfaye]

I don’t generally think it’s good idea to word vomit, but this is something I’ve been thinking about for a very long time, so please bear with me—if you’re interested, here we go. If not, my blessings in going about your business.

A lot of posts I see about the Sandy Hook massacre going around...

[aaronwestera-blog]

Life is all about how we choose to react to situations. You can’t control everything in life; no matter how hard you try. All you can do is respond to what comes down that road.

I’ve said this before: People will ultimately do what they want to do. That is to say that people are highly...

[echomyecho]

" All we know is distance. We're close and then we run." [The Fray]

All I know is distance, I get close and then he runs.

[arielforhire-deactivated2014052]

Jan 4, 2012

Why do you care if we’re not a christian band? Is it that important to you? It’s the same music, either way, so why do you only want to listen to it if it’s labeled that way? If the music inspires you, if listening to it adds value to your life instead of taking value away, then it...

[thelovewhisperer]

Like Vs. Love

So you got a crush and started to like someone, eh? Well that’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world. Liking people gets a bad rap because it’s commonly connected to and confused with lust, which is notorious for being bad news. It’s nothing more than a guilty by association type of deal. However, there is a significant difference between like and love — one that features seperate levels of feelings. This is somewhat of a text based contour map that identifies those highs, lows, peaks and valleys.

People generally enjoy the early stages and initial feelings of liking someone. The desire to talk to and spend time together. The learning all those details about each other. You’ve got butterflies in your stomach. Or is that gas? Uh-oh, it might be gas. And if it is, you’d better not release it around your crush. That’s the difference between like and love. Like means holding in farts until your stomach aches to preserve your most appealing image. Love on the other hand will remain unwavering, despite someone letting ‘em rip. This is romance translated through flatulence – not the most eloquent description.

Read More

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

TheHonestTruth 

For those who know me well you will see the irony in the title of this blog. For those that dont, here ya go. Brace yourselves (or just stop reading).

I saw this picture on deathbook today, and thought about it long and hard. Up to three weeks ago, i would have plastered this on my car,computer, shirt and heart. It might as well have been written about me. I was/am willing to go to incomprehensible lenghts to "succeed." Only recently have i found the meaning of the word "success" to be very deceptive. If you talked to 16 year old me and asked what success was, i'd describe a list of accolades that would have been very ambitious. 

At 24, I am ashamed to say that i've met most of those goals. Yep, ashamed.

At 24, I have no idea who I am, no idea who my friends are, no idea where God sits in my life. That switchfoot song..

24 Reasons / 24 Failures / 24 Drop Outs / 24 strong

yep.. me..  

At 24, I cant tell you one person that really knows or likes me for who I am. Every morning I open the closet and pull out a bunch of masks, I can be your best friend, I can be an asshole, I can be someone you need,  I can be everyone but me (theres a song somewhere in there). 

At 24, i've been nominated for over 5 GMA Awards, and associated myself with some of the biggest names in the industry. Yet as I read of the nominations for Producer of the Year, i wasn't filled with joy, wasn't filled with happiness, I was indifferent. The realization that music isn't my life is a scary one. Id based over ten years of my life with mile markers none of which have anything to do with me.  Each mile marker was something i held on a pedestal and told myself that I would achieve it at all costs. Well i've gotten there, big fucking deal. 

At 24, I realized that the people that have really gotten to know me, have all disappeared. The people that still support me are either family, or they want something form me. The few individuals that really know me have all been terrified of the man (this guy) that would stop at nothing to keep up an image. 

For the first time in years, i've taken some time off from doing music... it sucks. I trained myself to live and breathe and shit music. Ten Thousand hours is apparently what it takes to MASTER something (so they say), what THEY forgot to mention is those ten thousand hours should be spread across time, what THEY forgot to mention is that it takes approximately that many hours to completely brainwash yourself into becoming someone else.

So here I am at 24, who am I> hell if i know. My shrink (OH YES, i'm seeing a shrink) has encouraged nature walks and hobbies and all these great things to connect with things outside of music, to go soul seaching.. But lets address the real issue here, its not music, its not anything, its an inherrent need to be affirmed by those around me, and a need to be the best. Maybe its being asian, and having small penis syndrome. Gotta compensate. Its never mattered, even in sports it was either first or last. I remember the one and only  time I lost a violin competition in my teens, i went into the car, threw a tantrum and swore to never loose again. pretty fucked up. 

so at 24, ive forced myself to go to a church where i'm not welcome, i've forced myself to relearn how to cook, to slow down, to seek God, to remember what I've lost and to makes sure i can bury this shit. To make sure I can slow down enough to recognize the signs of deceit, stress and pure narcism. To realize that there is really no point trusting anyone, until i can trust myself.  

To hopefully one day be able to say, 

Music is not what i am, its what i do.

PS: i originally started this blog to make fun of  bands, point out useless things in the industry and to be a critic. tables have turned. So hopefully this is the beginning of Wayne 2.0. The thought of some of the people that might read this terrifies the living shit out of me, (clients, distant acquaintances, my mom -( who am i kidding), church people, or generally ppl that had no idea of all this crap). It is my sincere hope that this becomes a filter to a new start, and the beginning of something honest. I've lost my closest friend anyways, so there is this epic fearlessness in all of this.  Hopefully in a little while, i can go back to making music and kick ass at it.

So at this point and time, please feel to unsubscribe, send hate mail, tag / untag .. i'm more depressed than i've ever been, but excited for a new beginning, cause there are some dragons i want to slay. 

Love

Wayne

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

The Funny thing about Hope...

Hope .. .

Something that we all have, something that we all like to hold on to. 

Some of us find that in organized religions, some of us find it in padding our bank accounts with benjamins and some of us find it in family, relationships and friends. We all find someway to make ourselves feel better, and HOPE that we aren't some pathalogcial sociopathic asshole..... 

A few years ago I was forced to endure the Star Wars Trilogy... A New Hope. what a concept. The HOPE that one day a saviour will come, a hope that motivates an entire rebellion to take on Goliath. Isn't that what we search for in a Saviour, isn't that why we are reassured that we can make it through, isn't that why we flock to a building with other sinners to church on sunday and beg and plead forgiveness, ask for mercy and ask for that warm fuzzy feeling that allow us to acknowledge all we've done wrong and that it was already forgiven before we asked. Isn't it our HOPE that we can one day overcome and run to the gates of heaven while Chariots of Fire is playing, and be able to say i've fought the good fight.. I'll tell you what hope is for me... its one day to be able to run away from the fires of hell HOPING that I did one good thing in the last ten years. 

This is where my super fucked up thoughts take to very distinct roads. As i'm writing this i sure as hell feel like a schizophrenic. 

Route 1 : Fuck Hope, it's this imaginary feeling that pushes us from one failure to another. Every time we (I) address the route issue we take one of two paths. A) We bury the shit out of it, and we try to supress it and hope that it doesn't get us (me) into my shit. Ladies and Gentlemen, Door A doesn't work. Ive tried for the better part of two decades... trust me it doesn't work. It leads you down a pretty dark and dirty road where ALL your friends leave you, MOST of your family thinks your a failure and probably will vote pro-choice, and the church / community pretends to care and offers their prayers but from a safe comfortable distance Now this might seem pretty brutal, and it is, I will also say I earned ALL of it. Hell if i was in a different type of church i'd probably be run out of town (wait that happened...), or excommunicated. The truth is, i deserve all this and more... So here I am HOPING for a second chance that isn't deserved, and HOPING that I can figure out how to change, on my own.. without any help, support from anyone (because i've burnt those bridges baby.) You know that part of the bible we all quote to make ourselves feel better, "we are all sinners in the eyes of God," well if there is one thing i'm better at than everyone else it is that i sit on top of that pile of sinners. Not gonna lie this consumes most of my 24 hour days, why hope... no one else gives two shits, why should i? Needless to say this leads to many long nights thinking about tall buildings, and googling scary things. (google is seriously terrifying). For the three people that are probably not reading this, i'm not suicidal (i think), the thoughts just flood my mind a lot? Theres a difference...

Route 2: Ignore all this shit I just wrote up there, and get better... Hope that god's grace is an ocean that we can drown in (i suck at swimming). HOPE that the people that are meant to be in my life will be there to pick me up when i inevitably fall again, HOPE that I can learn to trust people because i sure as hell can't trust myself.  This is where hope turns into faith.. which I have about none of. To remove myself emotionally from myself is like asking a hooker to stop .... well you get the idea. On Sunday, I walked into a church that i have attended for the better part of 3 or 4 years, here is the irony.. it felt more judgemental, strange, cold and terrifying than walking into a shark tank with a cut on my face (remember i cant swim very well). It took me a full twenty minutes to realize why i was there, i was HOPING for comfort, i was HOPING for reassurance, HOPING for a friendly face, needless to say none of those things happened. I quickly realized i was HOPING for the wrong things. I didn't deserve grace, I didn't deserve forgiveness, certainly not by those around me i'd hurt. NEWSFLASH.... everyone that you stand next to at church isn't god, and some days are a very very far spitting image of the Lord. The most judgemental people i've ever met were from the "church," they are just the most deceptive. Yet in all of this, i remember praying for grace and mercy, and i feel like i've been just given enough to make sure i dont shove a pick in my temple. At the worst moments, a friend will call, my sister will write me a letter. We all just want to be loved, right?

So here is Door B, my new (temporary) HOPE, is to figure out what the hell God wants to do with me. If i'm meant to shovel shit in Africa for the rest of my life, point me to the airport (maybe drug me first). If this is the single event in my life that makes me face my demons, then fine. I really dont see a light at the end of the tunnel of door B, i see a very angry and reluctant me being dragged through shit, with a little carrot dangled in front of him,... hope.. hope that this is for the better, hope that new friends can be made, hope that I am good enough, faith... faith in the ALMIGHTY, faith that this is one of life's harder roads and that if i come up on the other side surely there won't be some cosmic sadist waiting to kick me in the teeth again. Hope that the carrot doesn't disappear in the darkness of the tunnel long enough for me to find a gun.. (i am in canada afterall, much harder to come by). ..

if you've made it this far, you either A, really care about me, B, really enjoy seeing me get the shit kicked out of me and think that justice is served, C you are my sister and i love you, D care, just enough to offer me your prayers, but wish to keep your distance because thats what Jesus would do. 

The Funny thing about hope.. there is just always enough rope to either tow us out of the current, or delude ourselves into thinking we aren't going to drown miserably and no one gives  a shit.

Man i'm a sad person right now.

Sorry you had to read this

Love 

Wayne

[theburiedlife]

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone… 4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 5. Pay off your credit cards...

[davidlabruyere-blog-blog-deacti]

Visit Original Link

   I’m playing with Andy Davis tonight at 12th&Porter so I’ve got Andy cranked on the stereo today while I clean the house. 

   Andy brought me with him to L.A. twice in 2011 to track with producer Mitchell Froom, drummer Matt Chamberlain and engineer David Boucher. The entire record is a stellar five person crew.             

   Above is the title track from Andy Davis’ Heartbreak Yellow record.

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

i'm gonna be there tonight... Dave is one of my all time favourite players, hands down! This can only be north of amazing!

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

DESTINATION : BEAUTIFUL (I've arrived.. finally)

DESTINATION : BEAUTIFUL - ARRIVED

Blessed ...

It's really the only way to describe it, 

Ive had a million and a half idea of blogs the last little while, but haven't really been able to concisely put down what i've been thinking. For those that follow my blog, it traditionally is a darker more emo, pessimistic blog. I'm either pissed off at the world / god / women and a various combination of the above.

So as i'm writing this sitting on Vancouver Island staring at the beautiful ocean I can honestly and genuinely say i've found some semblance of peace in my life. 

For the last five years, i've believed that when i'm finally settled in a city, solid job, good church, good friends that a semblance of peace and stability. I've had all these qualifiers to determine when i've succeeded, how many GMAs and Junos it would take before I would be happy with my skill set.  

Well ladies and germs...  not a single one of those things have happened.

Three weeks ago, i packed it all up.. and drove 37 hours to Nashville. I now live in a tiny cramped apartment, and kevin isn't here to cook for me. I haven't found a church i'm in love with..  but. i am the happiest i've ever been

My plane got delayed for 15 hours today, so i decided to rent a car and go do some sight seeing. As I was driving along the beautiful north shore, it occurred to me that I have almost everything I could possibly want. Happiness seems to be this buzz word that we all throw around, but more and more i'm realizing its not quantifiable, and is completely unique to the individual that is searching for it.

Here is why i'm happy..

1) My baby sister graduated from university (who cares), but shes giving up her entire summer to working in communist china, at an orphanage. As her brother i'm terrified for her, shes naive, silly and trusts everyone. On the other hand, i'm more proud of her than I've ever been of any accomplishments i've had. 

2) I live in nashville now, i work for two amazing producers that are beyond inspiring, I make records, i mix rock n roll, i get paid very little but ive never been so excited to wake up every morning and get on the 65. I'm the smallest and most insignificant fish in this pond, but ive been surrounded by encouraging people that I simply can't let down. 

3) Playing With Fire (shameless plug) - Phao

When / IF I have grandchildren and i'm asked to recount the epic stories of my youth, Phao will probably be the first thing that comes to mind. These two albums have been a major part of my professional and personal life. Both happened towards the brinks of ending relationships. Both records are smeared with my blood and tears. The record dropped yesterday and shot up to the top 30 in iTunes. and Something Cold shot up to the Top 5 in iTunes. To be honest, if the record sold one copy i'd be happy. So much of my life story has been twisted into the fabric of the record it would be impossible for me not to love it. Do me a favour and go check it up :D

4) God is kicking my ass.... daily

I'm constantly being challenged on my faith, and i'm constantly failing.. but for one of the first times in my life i'm truly believing in grace, and mercy. I'm starting to see and understand forgiveness and redemption. I'm finally starting to realize that every failure is just one more step towards becoming a better and stronger person. 

5) I get days off... never intentionally. But days like this are much needed, days for me to walk around, take some photographs, and remind myself that I'm blessed. surrounded by amazing people. My job has taken me to all four corners of the world, I get to experience the world in ways that some people can only imagine. I'm blessed, and i am happy :

if you've made it this far, you probably care a great deal for me. and you have my sincerest thanks. If we make music together, i'm extremely grateful for the chance and oppurtunity to be a friend and colleague.

Iloveyouall 

Wayne

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

Really liked your blog on the death of CCM - we are recording and working along a similar path. Would love to be in contact. Duane Arnold

hey man.. i got you.. its a very slippery slope. I'm now working in nashville and doing quite a bit of CCM work and its always working a very fine line, maintaining musical integrity and honoring god

[ramblingsofaproducer-blog]

Wading through the thick murky waters of the music industry is generally accepted as being a tough and epic ordeal to say the very least. Thank goodness the "christian" side of the industry is a lot more pleasing, just like Jesus walking on water, its a pretty effortless ordeal. Everyone is pretty straight up with you, there are no under lying motivations .... not.

I had the honour of producing the latest release from an awesome band, and within the first few hours we saw it hit the Top100 Rock Charts on iTunes, and then keep cranking its way up to the Top 5. Our amazing publicist got us hooked up with a few "christian" websites, and we got set up for reviews. 

The word "damn" and "hell" show up in two different tracks. We were automatically labeled a "non-christian" band, and quite rudely blacklisted and taken off their website.  Before anyone took the time to see what the context of the lyric was, or even further investigating what the band was.  

As the producer of this band, my first reaction was immediate and utter PANIC.. The easy solution was to cut the songs, and re track the lines that annoyed "ned flanders." Panic quickly creeped up and before i knew it, i was tailoring an entire marketing plan, based on this one review, from this one website.  

After speaking to a few friends my mind was put much more at ease, i wasn't gonna change a song or a note for someone.. Hundread of hours had been poured into considering every note, every lick, every kick of this collection of songs. We truly want people to love them, and embrace them and feel them.  But at the end of the day, I can only produce music that makes MY heartbeat, that makes ME feel, and that's all i want. 

I had to really think to myself what it meant to sell out. It's industry jargon that is thrown around like a hot poker. things like , "brah, you totally sold out,"  which translates to "dood, i wish i could be doing music for a living." I've been accursed of selling out more than once, and succumb to the big benjamins.  Well ladies and germs, after doing this for the better part of six years, i'll say this...

- I spend 20 hours a day music / working w musicians i mostly love / cursing gear websites / writing and producing music that I love

- i've taken jobs completely based on the fact they would hold me over till the next paycheck

- at the moment, i haven't made a single penny in over six weeks, yet have had an EP charted nationally, and released a single for a dear friend that has raised almost a hundread thousand for her final wish

- i've produced a music video done on a zero budget

- i've started trying to figure out how to manage a band

- in the last three months i've mixed a country record, an indie bands EP, an Bubble Gum Pop act, and getting ready for the rest of the PHAO and HELLOKELLY records.

- to steal a line from Francy, " i've never been more fulfilled in my life,"

- i go to bed at 5am and wake up at 7am completely content and happy, knowing that I am living out MY personal dream. 

John Mayer did a series of lectures at Berklee, and he said that everyone wants to "make it." All "making it" means is setting up expectations.  By that definition, i've certainly "made it." I am so BLESSED to travel the world, recording and producing. An aquaintance from my hometown accused me of selling out, because I primarily work on POP music, saying that it has nothing to do with art, that it is nothing new. Stevie Wonder is pop music, Quincy Jones is one of the greatest pop music producers ever, to say that they didn't create art is like saying that Bacon can't be beautiful.  Eff That. 

But ultimately, if that is what it means to sell out... sign me the hell up. I will go willingly.

Here's what i think selling out is..

Waking up one morning with a good paying 9 - 5 job, with a amazing plethora of gear, a home studio and being a miserable shit because I didn't have the balls to pursue a dream. Selling out, is taking the easy way out, and then being a bitter old man. If i ever land there, then i've sold out, and it better be for some amazing reason like family, otherwise it doesn't matter what everyone says about how sucessfull I am, i doubt i'll be able to look my self in the mirror and smile while i try to open my squinty eyes and put on my contacts.

Much Love

Rant Over Wayne Young