a rambling jane

i tend to say a lot of nothing

[ramblz]

I've fallen for you too many times for this to mean anything

you always leave

the feelings fade

& I move on

until you reappear

I’m always falling [catch me] jane r.

[ramblz]

it wasn’t love but to the untrained eye it looked the same to a naive heart it might as well have been

hindsight will prove us wrong i know it will

but those aren’t the words she needs right now i just wish i could find the proper words to say

it seems i’m no better at mending hearts jane r.

[ramblz]

disaster always strikes but never in the same place twice

i used to fear you’d never love me  now i dread one day you might

i hope some day that you’ll forgive me  but for today

i wish you gone [if that’s alright] 

jane r.

[ramblz]

she was everything i’d ever wanted  but could never have 

that’s what i’d always thought what i’d always feared

i wasted so many nights terrified she might’ve realized my inner thoughts laid bare waiting to be discovered 

she may not be as unattainable as i’d once assumed and i’ve grown enough since those distant nights that i’m convinced i’ve long since moved on

but i think i dropped a piece of myself abandoned between the sleepless nights and the borrowed paperbacks it calls out to me now singing gleeful songs about what could’ve been

anistasia jane r.

[ramblz]

funny that the sun is high the birds chirping the air crisp enough i can almost taste it on my tongue  from the wrong side of my bedroom window

it’s like i’m five again i want to go play around with nothing but the bugs for company

but here i sit too scared to step outside jane r.

[ramblz]

you’re kinda cute i guess yet we disagree on something vital i think we’re bound together, sure but we’ll end up in tear-stained shambles

and yes, you’re welcome to have you’re own opinions it’s just that I refuse to believe that you can’t see it

you’re looking for something temporary a passing breeze, a breath of fresh air soon to be forgotten

i’m looking for a tidal wave i want to be consumed  i’m desperate to forget where i end and you begin

if you ever had me, i’d refuse to let you go jane r. 

[ramblz]

dearest last november and the girl on the swing-set,

i’ve had alot of time to think over the past few weeks and for a minute there i’d really convinced myself that i’d made a mistake in letting you go or, if i’m to be more honest, in pushing you away

there were good moments and i do miss those i doubt we even had any particularly bad moments  i’d be lying if i said i still remembered all the moments, though

i spent almost too much time thinking over a decision i’m much too far past to ever take back but then i remembered the end

the realization i’d had just before out paths separated for good we never had any truly great moments fun, sure but nothing that took my breath away

i wish we had but there are some things that can’t be faked

right now, i’m lonely and feeling altogether low and i want more than anything for someone to hold me but it would be unfair to us both to pretend that you should be those arms

i guess what i’m saying is i hope you’ve found your person you deserve to be the best kind of breathless

i haven’t found my person yet probably won’t for a while yet and you could probably care less but i know i’ll find them, if not soon, then when the time is right

with all of my conviction and certainty,

the girl who refuses to misguidedly miss you any longer

jane r.

[ramblz]

sipping daiquiris on the beach late night chats under the stars dancing with strangers and leaving the rest behind

this could be us but y’all playing jane r.

[ramblz]

I can’t fix this and you won’t bother trying to

so what’s the point? jane r.

[ramblz]

I never understood why she bothered with all those other boys

maybe she thought they were friends until they proved they weren’t  and she forgave them again and again and again

the thing is they never proved it to her, not really they proved it to us, to me to the girls

but she didn’t want to believe it now she knows and I hate that she had to learn it this way but that’s why she has to let them go

I can’t make decisions for her but she still fears I might try to

pick a side jane r.

[ramblz]

I wish you were nothing more than a distant memory

a voice once harsh and condescending now faded to a timid whisper

I might as well have made you up cause I only see you in my darkest dreams

one day I’ll forget these sleepless nights jane r.

[ramblz]

I have no words

just a ton of questions

that I’d rather not ask aloud

I’m never quite sure what anything means anymore jane r.

[ramblz]

actions speak louder than words

and all it really came down to was intentions

did you mean it?

did he?

did my reactions give too much away?

once we got kinda drunk and held hands or something jane r.

[ramblz]

There is no one I’d rather save

Hell or high water

We reach the shore

Or drown together

Just know that we will always be

Side by side

We’ll fight the tide

The people we were meant to find jane r.

[ramblz]

it isn’t fair I wasn't supposed to actually consider it

you made the offer, sure 

but I said no

and when you said you’d “change my mind” you were a sleazy asshole that I wasn’t even sure I could still be friends with

and yes we both know that's not true that I could never cut you out but for a second I really considered it I swear

I was never considering your offer though

until now jane r.

[ramblz]

nothing stings quite like the advice that you weren’t meant to hear yet

I’ll choose not to think about it yet [and then regret it later] jane r.

[ramblz]

it’s not that I don't want you to be happy it’s just that if you aren’t happy, that is or you are, but you think you could be more so then the part of me that relates can’t help but whisper

what if? jane r.