Thistle and Weeds

Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams 'Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind Alone in the wind and the rain you left me It's getting dark darling, too dark to see

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Update

//Ramona has gone indie and also had a face credit change.  From now on she will have Jennifer Lawrence as a face credit. About and verses coming soon.

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Napkin Notes|| Robyn & Ramona

@robynorlova

Sitting on the couch with her legs pulled up and her head resting on her knees Ramona waited for Robyn to come home.  She was still shaking after running into Raymond Howard, the guard who had been the cause of so much of her pain while locked up.  He had shown up at the diner and of course she had to wait on him. Although he didn’t touch her or truly say anything to her she was still very much shaken up.  Her hands were wrapped up together and she felt the pressure of tears in her eyes but they weren’t falling yet.  Feeling as vulnerable as she did then she was helpless as he spent almost an entire hour sitting in the diner, slowly eating his food, drinking his coffee and people watching.  Wishing she could throw him out, but knowing she couldn’t she almost cried in relief when he left, but as she cleaned up his table she found a note on the napkin, “It was nice to see you Ramona, I will come back soon. Love Ray.” Inside the napkin was a small pill, and she recognized it as Xanax, something he used to get for her, and use against her.  She had to run to the bathroom to throw up after that.  Both Paul and Brett were concerned and Brett was insisting if she needed to go home she could, but she stayed her whole shift, knowing if she left any earlier she might go and get high, and the urge to use so strong.

Ramona knew she should flush the pill, but it sat on the napkin with the note, now on the coffee table, inches from her.  She felt it was calling to her, and a few times she had moved to take it but stopped, somehow she had stopped.  Her cheeks were wet now with tears and letting out a sigh she put her feet down, sliding to the floor to stare at the pill on the table.  It was only one pill, not a big deal, she had done so much more before.  Picking it up she was about to swallow it when she heard the door open.  Jumping up she was tempted to hide it, but decided not to, instead running over to Robyn and without a word dragging her into the living room.  With a shaky hand she pointed at the pill and the note, wrapping her arms around herself. “Help me,” she said softly, wiping at her wet cheeks.  “I can’t do it, I want to use so bad.”

[lou-dags-blog]

New Hire | Lou & Ramona

[lou-dags-blog]

Lou smiled at the wire-haired girl sitting before him. He liked that she was willing to look at him. That was an important trait in the waitressing business. Unlike some places in the area Lou paid his wait staff a fair rate and didn’t make them rely on tips. He’d always thought that was encouraging for staying at his diner, yet it seemed to be a struggle to keep waiters and waitresses on staff. Paul and Brett were fixtures in the place and really what he was looking for was one more staff member that was as reliable as his boys. “I don’t have any problem teaching you. It is easy enough. I pay minimum wage plus tips and you can work full time if you’re capable. The boys are well-versed in all areas of the place though Paul likes to keep himself back in the kitchen. He can be a little coarse sometimes so the kitchen is probably the best place for him.” The old man cracked a grin and rose from his desk so he could show Ramona around the place.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” Walking out with the girl, Lou started pointing things out to her starting in the supply room. “As a waitress you need to keep things stocked so in between customers you bust the tables – which means taking the dishes to the sink for Brett to wash. If it isn’t too busy he’ll come out and help you. It isn’t required but on days like that we like that tips get shared but I always let the wait staff work that out with them. It will be Brett more than Paul. He’s pretty easy going. You’ll need to keep condiments stocked, napkins and all that and those are here.” Lou pointed everything out as they walked along. “You won’t have to worry about things like the trash but I do ask that on occasion you check the ladies room for me. I usually clean the men’s room up myself. Men are slobs, ya know.” He winked at his potential new hire in the hopes she would loosen up. “Most important you have to be friendly. One, we want people to return and this place has been here since 1975 so we are a lot older than you. And two, you’ll earn better tips that way and that is good for you an d moral and all that jazz. Can you handle those things?”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

The man had a very calming smile and Ramona found herself relaxing slightly.  She still struggled with making eye contact but more so keeping it, especially with men in authority.  This man wasn’t the same, though he would be her boss he wasn’t like the guards who had so much more say over her life. Nervous more that she would disappoint him because of her lack of experience but truly wanting the job she was relieved when he agreed he could teach her. Her eyes widened and she felt a smile break out on her lips.  Full time work would mean more money, and that meant being able to give Robyn more money. Not only that it would keep her days busy and that would keep her mind from going places it shouldn’t, because when her mind wandered she ended up in situations less than favorable.  Ramona really did want to be clean, and stay that way, but now that she was out of prison it was much easier to fall off the wagon.  Chuckling when he spoke of the two men that worked there she could see an almost paternal grin on his face, or what she pictures a man would look like speaking of his children.  Smiling at the remaining in the kitchen line she raised her eyes to his and kept them there. Standing with him she followed him as he pointed things out to her, feeling excited at the prospect of starting this job.

Nodding as he spoke of what her job would be she mentally made a list of not just her work but things she could do to help out even more, such as organizing the supply room and straightening out areas here and there. “I don’t mind sharing tips, especially if he’s nice enough to help me out.” Nodding again she once again heard that tone in her voice and smiled, following his lead as he pointed out where supplies were and another area that could be straightened.  It wasn’t that the place was messy, more needing a good tidying, and something Ramona had found she was good at and used to keep herself under the radar in prison. “Women can be pretty slobby too, and I will clean the ladies room, I don’t mind that.” Ramona found the smile staying on her lips, her eyes staying up and looking at him, and the tension out of her shoulders.  “Friendly I can do.” Arching a brow, “You’ve had this place a while, I won’t let you down.” Turning to face him she nodded, “I can do that yes, and I can start tomorrow if that’s okay with you?” Putting her hands in her pockets she shifted on her feet, “I mean if you want me to work here still.”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

[butterflycaps]

[imfollowingyourjoy]

[lou-dags-blog]

New Hire | Lou & Ramona

[lou-dags-blog]

Lou gave a half smile to the girl when she walked in to his office. He was fully aware of what she’d been through. Having had issues with drugs in the past he didn’t hold that against her. Lou was lucky the only thing he’d done was nearly kill himself – he couldn’t even imagine what she went through and the amount of guilt she carried. Or at least he hoped she carried. That was really what he wanted to see was if there was a human side to her or if the ugly addiction monster was still alive and well inside. She was very meek and barely looked him in the eye which was something Will McCormick said he may encounter. A lot of the female inmates struggled with eye contact if they weren’t overly dominant. Men had no problems but Lou found he had fewer issues with female hires from the prison system. They usually managed to pull themselves up faster than the men and rarely landed back behind bars.

The old man gave a crooked grin, dimple forming on his rugged cheek as he gestured to the seat across from him. The office was less than perfectly organized but Lou knew where everything was and never missed a tax payment. He’d also always make sure Paul and Brett got their paychecks even if it meant he went without. He owed Brett that much. “Well, you’re welcome. I thank you actually because my last waitress just kind of vanished on me. So I guess that would be my first question for you. If you get the job are you going to stick around for a while? I won’t pussy foot. Sometimes the place gets hopping and it can be stressful but the boys will help out as much as they can. I do too. Brett can do everything on the place so he’d be training you too. I need to make sure you’re okay with working closely with my boys.”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Ramona had her eyes lifted to the man but her head was tilted down, it was how she carried herself in prison and now it was habit. Chewing nervously on her lip as she sat down she fixed the skirt she had on, something from the thrift store she had picked up since that was all she could afford. Her leg seemingly wanted to shake up and down all on its own and she had to mentally tell herself not to move it. Her hands moved to her lap and with a soft but deep breath she raised her head to look at the man, her eyes met his briefly before looking away, it was difficult for her to maintain eye contact. In the brief span of raising her head she noticed his smile and calmed a little, he seemed a nice man and he had a soft and genuine smile. Her eyes couldn’t hold the look and she glanced around the space, noting it could use a straightening. Everything was so regimented in prison that she had become quite organized and was used to finding a home for everything.

Ramona returned her eyes to Lou with a slight frown forming at the space between them. “She up and vanished, that’s horrible to leave you shorthanded.” Giving him a small smile she nodded, “I plan on sticking around, and having the job would help.” Nodding at his words, she appreciated the honesty and forthright fullness of him. “I’m not afraid to work and I’m not planning on running away when things get difficult.” Another small smile, she was nervous around men, a large part of that from the way the guards treated her, but this man seemed so nice she had faith that ‘his boys’ would be as well. “I’m okay with that,” she said softly, finding her eyes having gone down again she forced them up. “I really do want a chance at this and hope you will give it to me.” The girl Ramona was before prison was long gone, she had grown up and quickly behind bars. She used to be lazy and selfish but now she harbored so much guilt and regret that there was no room for it. At one point she had spoken with a priest at the prison who had helped her to face what had happened with the death of her child, but Ramona was still working on the forgiving herself part and she wasn’t sure that would ever happen. She felt she owed it to her child to keep going and do her best since she had survived where the baby did not. Brushing her hair back again she looked at Lou, “I worked in the prison but I’ve never waitressed. I’m a fast learner and willing to learn, I hope that’s enough for you to give me a chance.”

[hold-on-etta-blog]

Tea for Two ~Etta & Open

By the time she woke Bud was already gone leaving her to her own devices. Choosing a simple blue dress and a soft cream sweater she added a simple pair sensible flats to the ensemble. Ever since she was a little girl she would always choose a dress over pants, and tended to lean towards more feminine things. Wanting to spend some time by herself after the hectic work week she grabbed a book before heading out the door, and over to Lou’s. The restaurant had come at multiple suggestion of both friends and coworkers. Walking into the quaint diner she immediately understood the appeal. It was a replication of any small town diner you’d ever seen on the silver screen. Making her way to a booth she slid down into the vinyl seating, and was unable to stop herself from straightening the silverware. Old habits died hard and she still felt the need for perfection feeling the weight of someone’s stare she looked up and smiled, “Oh…well hello there.” 

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Ramona was still amazed that she hadthe job at Lou’s. She knew part of the reason he hired her was because of hisagreement with her parole officer, but with no work experience, especially noexperience in waiting tables, as well as a prison sentence the man was a saintin her book. Writing up a check for a table, she was still flipping the smallmenu for pricing she looked up as a beautiful red headed woman came inside.Watching her sit in her section she quickly totaled the check up and dropped itoff with the two women sitting there. Balancing was one skill she was workingon, often having to move slower so as not to spill or drop things, but Lou hadcommended her already for her promptness and friendliness in greetingcustomers. Hurrying over to the table she smiled as the woman straightened thesilverware, “Hello,” Ramona said softly, giving her another warm smile. “Welcometo Lou’s can I start you off with something to drink? We have a chicken noodlesoup for the day and on special is our cheese fries. Want some more time withthe menu?” Knowing she was spitting out a lot at once she took a breath, “Sorry,drink, what can I get you to drink?”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Sweet Taste Of Freedom || Ramona & Robyn

[sinsavagex-deactivated20190520]

“It’s good to hear your voice too, I missed you like crazy,”she confessed, the smile still present in her voice, “You sound much betterthan the last time we talked.”  Robyn hadmade sure to have Ramona promise to check in with her whenever she could, sheknew things would go downhill for her friend as soon as she was out and awayacting as support and protection.  “No, Iknow where it is.  I’ll be there soon…can’twait,” in her excitement, Robyn hung up the phone and changed into a nicer pairof jeans and a tank top.  She called a caband touched up her hair and makeup while she waited.  There was comfort in knowing that Ramonawould be around, she was the only one that could understand and with her lifein chaos it was exactly what she needed – her best friend.  Once the cab arrived, she climbed in and gavethe driver The Harbor Motel and tapped her foot on the floor of the car on theway over, anxious to see Ramona.  She sawthe curly haired blonde and smiled immediately, bouncing out of the cab andwrapping her arms around the friend she hadn’t seen in a few months.  “Oh my god, I’m so happy this is finallyhappening,” she pulled back and looked at Ramona and couldn’t see anythingdistressing.  “You’re okay?” she askedand took her friend’s arm heading back to the cab.  “Let’s go get something to eat and somedrinks.”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Ramona bit at her lip, a large smilestaying in place as she heard her best friend on the other end. “I missed youlike crazy too,” she said, pulling out a pair of jeans and a light t-shirt towear. Letting out a light laugh, “Yeah I’m sure I do, it’s amazing whatsleeping in a room not a cell will do for your happiness.” Resting the phonebetween her shoulder and her ear she sat on the bed and pulled the jeans on,and went to grab a bra from the dresser. “Okay then I’ll see you in a few and Ican’t wait either.” Hanging up Ramona pulled the bra on, going past the mirroras she picked up the t-shirt off the bed. Ramona avoided looking in the mirroruntil she was dressed, she didn’t want her eyes to drift to what was there.While prison had been worse when Robyn was released it would never compare tothe night she was scared. Shaking her head to clear it, her fingersautomatically drifting to touch the letters on her left hip, but she forced herhand down and went into the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth. Now able toface her reflection she put on some light makeup and grabbed a sweater, almostdancing as she headed into the sunshine to wait for her best friend. Jumping upand over to meet her when the cab arrived she pulled her into a hug. “I know I can’tbelieve it either, I am so happy.” Raising a shoulder she did a small pose,laughing as she did it. She knew she was thinner and her skin pale but nothingout of the ordinary. Nodding she took her hand as Robyn too her arm, “I’m okayyeah, and you?” Climbing into the cab with her she smiled, “Real food anddrinks sounds amazing.” Holding her hand in the cab she let Robyn direct wherethey would go, still getting used to being free.

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Sweet Taste Of Freedom || Ramona & Robyn

[sinsavagex-deactivated20190520]

Life had been a mix of emotions and trials since being out in the real world after spending 5 years in confinement and a completely different world.  Robyn had somewhat made a few friends when in prison, her gentle nature somewhat had a draw on others and in prison it made her a bit of a target since the women and guards mistook it for weakness.  She did, however, become close to one woman in particular and that was Ramona.  She was more than a target to the other women, they literally seemed to have it out for the fellow blonde, and rather than hearing her story they sought out to make her life hell.  Since being free, Robyn desperately missed her friend, they had grown close and the fellow jailbird had been the person she became comfortable with talking to. She had given her number to her friend and told her to contact her as soon as she was out since Ramona would be free a couple months after her.  She didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway, saying hello and then immediately smiling at the voice on the other end.  “Oh my god, Ramona.  I’m so happy to hear your voice and you’re out?  I’m even more happy now and yes, I can meet you whenever.  Where are you staying?  I can come get you in a half hour?”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Five years was a long time to be away from the outside world, to be from anyone not also confined to a cell block. Ramona knew she was lucky though, she could have served a lot longer, but then again the time she did serve was hell. Laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling in her room she felt her thoughts bouncing around, a freedom she hadn’t had since she was hyper aware all the time. There were many reasons for that hyper awareness but a lack of safety was the top. The only time she ever felt safe was when Robyn was around her. Although Robyn had been picked on as well, there was a fight in her that the other women seemed to give a wide berth too. Ramona was so thankful for that, it gave her sometime of not being harassed and thrown about like a tumble weed. Robyn was far from the weak they thought her to be and she showed them on more than once occasion, it was what Ramona wanted for herself. Sleeping in had been nice but it was time to see her friend, to get out of the motel room. Missing Robyn fiercely when she had been released she was glad that she would finally get to see her again. Calling the number left for her she smiled at how Robyn sounded feeling that joy growing in herself. “Yes I’m out and it’s good to hear your voice. I’m staying at The Harbor Motel and I would love for to pick me up.” Chewing on her lip she stood and went to the small closet, going through the few items of clothing she had. “I’m getting dressed now, I’ll be waiting outside when you get here. Do you need the address?”

[lou-dags-blog]

New Hire | Lou & Ramona

Lou had gotten a call from his friend within the prison system. It wasn’t often but he had no issues with hiring someone who needed a hand up. Working in a diner was not usually the career choice of most people but it was suitable for temporary work and he got a lot of that. Outside of Brett and Paul most people were no lifers. Dalton had been around for a while as well but when the last waitress quit Lou was stuck covering shifts himself. He didn’t mind asking Brett to wait tables – it gave him more tips and taught him other aspects of the business.

The person he would be interviewing was a girl named Ramona Cantrell. As a courtesy, Will McCormick, the man from the prison, always let Lou know what he was getting himself in to and there was never any pressure to say yes. This girl had been charged for the death of her child. Because she was a minor she was granted some leniency but it only gave her less of a sentence than she would have gotten had she been tried as an adult. She still went to the state penitentiary.  Lou made it a point to never talk to Will’s people about their crimes. He was more interested in whether or not they wanted to actually work. When he saw her face peek around the corner and Paul’s voice as he walked away, Lou smiled at the girl. “Ramona? Come on in.”

@ramona-cantrell

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Ramona had met with her parole officer and a man named Will McCormick who was in charge of job placement. Will had let her know that a diner in Long Beach was looking for a waitress and she was to meet with him later on that day for an interview. It was a formality he said, as long as she was willing to work and be responsible Lou, the owner, would give her a chance. Ramona was surprised because she had no experience being a waitress or even holding a job and yet this man was willing to give her a chance, and that wasn’t even touching on the being imprisoned aspect or they why of it. Nervous she took the time to iron her pants in the motel room, putting on a light sweater and loafers to go with it.

Taking an early bus she arrived half an hour before she was scheduled and used fifteen minutes of that to calm her nerves outside before putting one foot in front of the other and going inside. There was a tall man behind the counter flirting with a young woman sitting down and when she came inside he looked up and winked at her. Clearing her throat she gave a small smile and let him know she was there to see Lou. Pointing her in a direction to the back she stuck her head around the corner to see an older gentleman coming her way. Smiling she nodded, “Yes I’m Ramona, and you’re Lou I’m guessing.” Following him inside she brushed a stray curl behind her ear. “Thank you again for meeting with me and even giving me a chance to interview.”

[ramona-cantrell-blog]

Sweet Taste Of Freedom || Ramona & Robyn

roPrison had been a level of hell she never wanted to return too. Not that she would ever have a reason too, but she would rather die than go back. Getting up early she took a quick shower in the small bathroom of her motel room, coming out in a towel and sitting on the bed. She was still getting used to being outside of the confinement of her cell, and often found herself reverting to old habits. Brushing out her wet hair she looked down at the piece of her paper in front of her, it was a phone number for the one person who had looked out and helped her on the inside. She hadn’t made contact in the three days since her release, spending the time securing a motel room and then sleeping for about twelve hours straight. Today was the third day and it was time to see her friend. Tomorrow she was slated to speak to a diner owner about a job, something that made her nervous but she was also looking forward too. Dressing quickly she bit her lip and picked up the phone, dialing the number Robyn had left for her. “Robyn?” She asked when the line was picked up, “It’s Ramona, I was wondering if you’d like to meet for coffee, seems I’m not in prison anymore.” Her voice was soft and light and hearing the hello of her friend brought a smile to her lips.

@robynorlova

[roleplayfcs]

[butterflycaps]

[hurricanelolita-rpg-blog]

NAME: Ramona Cantrell - FC: Penelope Mitchell - AGE: 23

OCCUPATION: Waitress at Lou’s Diner - SEXUALITY: Straight

Past:

The life of Ramona Cantrell was anything but charmed. Her childhood in Cordova, CA had many more downs than ups and all she ever wanted was to leave and do something with her life. The trailer park life style didn’t afford her much room for improvement and her father’s constant flow of women only made her choices more irrational. She watched as her father doted on the women of his life and wanted a man to treat her with that same amount of attention, especially since he gave it to everyone but her.

Russ Cantrell rarely gave mind to his daughter but when she came home pregnant at 15 he said he wasn’t surprised. It was not a surprise to him that she would get knocked up at a young age and traps some man the same way her momma had done to him. The father of the baby was just some kid from school that she didn’t love and definitely didn’t want to spend her life with. But after the baby was born Ramona’s desire to be with anyone who paid the slightest amount of attention to her grew. People would stop her in the grocery store and tell her how adorable her baby was and each conversation would get shifted so Ramona was getting the focus of each conversation. If a man gave her the tiniest bit of his time, she was willing to give up everything including her body.

Soon drugs became a part of the equation. Ramona met an older guy named Desi that got her hooked on barbiturates. They were easy enough to get a handle on as he worked as pharmacy tech. Having the baby around started to become an inconvenience. Desi came over one night and wanted to party so she placed her young child in a play pen and went on with her evening as if she never had a child – the wild night of booze and drugs ending up horribly wrong. Awaking the next morning to a perfectly quiet house, Desi was passed out in her bed and her father was gone. Yawning and tired she stumbled past her daughter’s room and noticed the baby sleeping on the floor. It was a rough morning and no time to deal with such foolishness she went to put her daughter back in her bed to find her cold to the touch.

The small child had crawled out of her bed and gotten a hold of some of the pills, putting them in her mouth and letting them dissolve. Ramona and Desi had never even noticed her in the living room while they were partying. With the death of her child, Ramona was charged with second-degree murder and depraved neglect of a child aside from the drug charges that stemmed. Being only 17 and poor, a lawyer stepped forward to represent the young woman and successfully made sure she was tried as a juvenile. Though she was found guilty, she was sent to a regular prison and she was only given five years.

Her time in prison would make her think of the levels of hell. The guards and fellow inmates labeled her a baby killer and even in solitary she wasn’t safe. There was only one person who befriended her, but that woman was the one to give her strength. Robyn Orlova was her only friend, and when Robyn was released a few months before her Ramona felt some of her missing, the jail seeming to crush down upon her.

Present:

Recently released from her prison sentence, Ramona could not go back to Cordova. The media attention in the small town surrounding the death of her daughter was too much to ever escape so she headed to Long Beach where her one friend resides, hoping to see her and in blend in the scenery. She has just been hired at Lou’s Diner and pays weekly rates at the Harbor Motel until she can afford an apartment.

Connections:

Robyn Orlova: The one person in prison to befriend her, and stay her friend despite how she was treated. Robyn gave her the strength to fight back as well as to stay off the drugs easily supplied to her on the inside. When Ramona learned that Robyn had left for Long Beach she made it a point to go there as well, after all she would have someone who understood and maybe finally find a way to pay back the friendship that she is sure cost Robyn when they were on the inside.

Sonny Frost: Manager and owner of the Motel he has always been kind and sweet to Ramona. She likes sitting and listening to him, enjoying how he sees the world. It is hard to see him with his daughter though, and it breaks her heard that he doesn’t get all the time he wants with her. Ramona doesn’t know Lorenzo all that much, only from what Sonny tells her, but she is glad that Sonny has someone like that in his life. She considers him a good person and would like to say he is her friend.

Lou D’Agastino: The owner of the diner he recently hired Ramona despite her lack of experience. She isn’t really sure why he gave her a chance but she is grateful for it. Lou seems to treat all his staff like they are his kids and it’s nice to have a man who actually acts like a father since her own did not. She hasn’t told him anything of her past, although she did have to relay that she was in prison. Something else that astounds her about him, he hired her with a record too. He hasn’t asked what she did, and she isn’t sure she would know what to say if he did.

The role of Ramona Cantrell is TAKEN.

[shekeapsmewarm]